Saturated in steely blue clutches, sweating from the 75 degree Georgia night
strung up and washed out with a serpent woman that keeps bringing on the blight
Singing you a song of bliss and blinders.

A big brick red boot on your neck and a green collar that reads The Gardens *****
The Garden takes the taxes tightens up the lead and never relaxes
Hit ya where ya like, the pain is disguised, leather tastes like candy, The Gardens got ya hypnotized.
Your late night camping sight attracts the moon light parasite, that acolyte of appetite, Tonight your the Gardens Delight

You wanna run but she's got those hooks between your shoulder blades feeling like an inexorable **** of silk, smoke and skin.
She gives you every thing you need,
Fountain heads of intemperance and black out nights
Whole streets smelling like grease and charcoal charbroils
Men and women of dexterous lechery, feverous severance, and generous deference
Crystals for your cranium, high altitude dives and the lowest lows.
A cacophony of any entertainment you might want or need, just as long as its seedy.

The Garden keeps blinders on your head to make sure you can't see anything she doesn't want you to.
Try to remove em and the punishment is usually severe.
She might give you the greatest loves you've ever known and turn em to photographs, blot em with LSD and trip you out on memories.
And when you come back to what you think reality is she'll take those photographs and burn em up right in your face and leave you asking if any of it really happened while feeling like it was the realest thing that ever has.
She'll break you and build you up, build you up and break you worse. A cycle of bad things feeling real good.

The Garden will do everything in her power to keep you right here.

But if you can get all those straps and tight leather off, all those hooks and chains.. If you can escape her steely blue clutches,,

You'll finally see how wrong you've been done, and your still gonna want her back in some strange way..
but you might start to heal....
But know this.
No matter where you might run off to,
You'll still be hearing The Garden City call.
That siren song of bliss and blinders.

I have to say,
**** this and **** that,
Everyones a ******* rat.
******* and **** them
I dont need my ******* friends.
**** your love and **** your boyfriend
I hope you two come to a tragic ******* end.
**** myself and **** my feelings
Ill make it numb and get higher than the ******* ceiling.
**** being strong 'cause i know I'm ******* weak
everything thats wrong with me its 'cause im ******* meek.
**** this life and **** the ******* world.
I'm screaming out obscenities that would make you ******* hurl.
I'm tired of this ******* anger
I'm tried of this fight.
Maybe tonights the night ill end it,
Ill say "**** it" and take the ******* knife.

And I'll bleed and bleed and ******* bleed till im lifeless on the floor and i'll scream and ******* scream till i cant say **** anymore.

Has something happened,
Have I gone crazy?
When I like chaos,
But living lazy.

I wake up early,
And life's a movie.
There's people dancing,
And monsters burning.

I look at clouds,
And they tell me a story.
Life is fleeting, and life is boring.

I think they caught my depression.

So when I wake up at the edge of my bed.
And everything that's wrong starts fallin' outta my head.
I'll say I'm sorry,
I'm in a bad mood.

So I found beauty,
In all I hated.
In this scene of ***** ups
and desperation.

Maybe one day
I'll find my way.
With walks to new towns
And mental break downs.

I hate to tell ya kid,
You'll never be okay.
They won't listen
They'll hate you anyway.

So lose yourself in the chaos.

So when you wake up at the edge of your bed,
And everyone you love is slippin' through your hands.
You'll say I'm sorry,
I'm in a bad mood.

*Well something happened,

and I went crazy.

Crystals to my cranium.
Crepuscular rays in my hair.
Homeless is how I'd like to be.

This night drifts slowly towards the dawn.
Such nights are for slow songs and solitude.
To contemplate; create.
To open hidden doors.
To fill blank pages
With oceans of consciousness.

My brain is over heating.
I think my head  might ******* pop.
When I lean out this window,
My torso wants to drop.
I know I going crazy,
So why won't it stop?

******.
     Dauntingly so.
Haunting light.
     Emits,
From hazy heads.

I'm a scientist *****,
Don't you know what the means?
I've got a P.h.d in physics,
Bring ya down to your knees.
I'll find your resonance frequency ,
You'll be runnin' scared,
Make you quake like Nagasaki
E=Mc^2
Yea,
Ya know the ladies love me when they're rubbin up on me
I give em' cash they shake that *** they're gettin wet off this salary
I make a hundred thousand mother ******' Gs a year,
Now whatta you do?
Sit around smoke dope and drink beer?
You wanna shoot me?
You can try if you like,
But I can predict the path of a bullet in mid flight,
I'll drop you faster than gravity with the sound of my gat,
**** you with more certainty than Schrodingers cat.
Well,
Galileo, Galileo
Whats my name?
Your girl orbits my **** she gives me head everyday

You know what entropy says?
All things must come to an end,
Well I'm your catalyst *****,
Make you wish you was dead.

This **** really fries my brain.
Wish I was on the road.
Playing guitar all the time.
Moving.
What is it about now that
keeps me in ruts?
I wish It was raining.
It would fit well.
The mood.
Woods.
Those trees keep calling me.
They feel like home.
When I'm sitting amongst them.
In the decay,
Of pines and leaves.
This **** fries my brain.
I feel distant.
Farther in my head.
Eyes more like windows.
Not sure if I'm an odd one.
Or if I'm just crazy.
My handwriting is bad.
As much as I write, you would think,
My hand writing would be better.
All those curls can't hide these
shaky hands.
Well,
Shaky bones tell me the winds are coming.
With the thunder;
Mystic changing powers.

Well I slept through this cold night,
Hell, I've been through worse.
Heard a wicked story,
of Glass and tattered sash.
The fire keeps me friendly,
This fire tells me more,
It's all just ganna burn up
theres nothing else left but ash an Lyme.
That moon is watching; cautious.
It's makin sure I don't break more hearts.
I already feel so guilty,
I don't need this sentinel,
to remind me of my transgressions,
of love fueled aggressions.

So I might choke on this cigarette,
I might drown myself in drink,
You burning oh so bright,
I feel it's warmth from here,
For me its ******' bitter,
For whoelse it's cinnamon treats,
Please dim down your lights,
You make it real hard to ****** sleep.

Jubilating jiggilies bounce around like jelly beans
candy flavored fluorine flows around bubbling chemistry
and chemistry makes mostly me neurons fire excite the knees
shake around and do a dance
cannon fire no romance.

100 billion years have passed.
The dinosaurs are cast back into the forgotten fields of heaven.
After wiping out the dinosaurs from the planet God has been busy working on his new pets.
Rumors have popped up among the dinosaur community. Something called humans have inhabited the earth. They take the image of God and his angels.
Lost in misunderstanding, rage and jealously flow over the community of cold blooded reptilians.
Roberto, The last of the dinosaurs, The Last Dinosaur-asaurus,
Stands calm in a fury of scales and teeth.
He was hurt the most. He was left behind, witnessed the great fire ball scorch the earth and char his friends.
He was the only one who talked to god, and asked him why.
"It was your time." He had said.
Those four words, had instilled so much hate in him.
Now, His time has come.
An ancient evil has crept his way into the place where angels forget to look.
Satan himself, seeks council with The Allosaurus.
Revenge has been on the dinosaurs mind and hate fills him.
Beelzebub bestows power into Roberto and his friends.
The time it seems, has come at last.

God sits upon his throne content with the humans progress. Cities have risen where, billions of years ago, only ash rained and a lone dinosaur walked the earth.
Roberto and his army, every dinosaur that ever was, march upon his great Hall.
Angels stand guard.
Without even looking up, obsessed with his ego driven creation, God says,
"Why do you stand before me? I have cast you and your kind away from here.
Be thankful I let you stay in this realm. My mercy has kept you from hell, but I still hold the power to cast you down."

"Your mercy?" Retorts the Orphanedasuarus, his cold blood growing hot.
"You cast fire from the sky, wiped my race from the planet for no other reason than you were bored. Your mercy will be your undoing."

God laughs heartily as Roberto, powered by the rage of a trillion reptile souls and the spell of Satan, charges towards God.
The Dinosaurs of a thousand ages rend the flesh of the angels and tear their wings from their shoulders, casting them from heaven.

Before the All Mighty can even rise from his chair, or draw another breath for shock,
Roberto Sinks his teeth into his throat.
For the first time since his childhood, he tastes flesh.
For the first time in his life. He savors it.
Feasting on the blood of Him, Roberto becomes all that was and all that is.
The humans feel a disturbance in their nature.
The dinosaur takes his place upon his throne, and looks down on Earth.
The audacity of these creatures.
What was once the homes of him and his friends, now stood skyscrapers and massive buildings. Highways on the bones and graves. Cars running on the decomposed bodies.
They will pay. He will have his revenge.

So, we were slaves again,
like we were before.
Instead of a man with a white beard, it was a dinosaur.

My soul howls with Gaia and her kin.
Stardust composes us all.
In the bellies of ancient burning beasts,
We were forged.
In their fiery deaths we were cast,
Deep into the vacuum of space.
Through Eons and perfect accident we began to form.
We are now the death feigns of an elder Cosmos.
Pillars of atoms desperately trying to understand.
Be kind.
Our souls are intimately intertwined.
Hurting others is hurting yourself,
You are them as much as I am me.

We are One.

Elders from ancient times
Gifted with hardy skin
And cleansing hands.
They tower above to scrape at wisps of floating rivers.
Their sentinel  gaze watches over horizons we have yet to behold.
Guardians,
From unseen omnipotent forces,
Shelters
For weak and humbled.

Cataracts have grown over my eyes.
Blinding me from the gorgeous tragedy
That bestows wandering winds to my moored soul.

Suffering and freedom on the East coast.
Pines call to me like a mother
Searching for her lost young.
Desperate and warm.

Lounging in the decay and sap filtered light,
I find myself.
I am calloused fingers looking for scratch and song.
A Vagabond of soft heart and pernicious wrongs.

Crooked cops and sick men in high places.
Beating and ****** the sad mourning faces.
The people, the public; their prawns and their tools.
Abusing and using; their methods are cruel.
Our voice it means nothing, our fists do no good.
We will never be free, we are misunderstood.
For the fat cats with tall hats drink deep with the greed.
They say,
"Take from the people! They're helpless, They're meek."
And they're right we can't stop them, we'll always be beat.
They have tanks and battalions.
We have rocks and bare feet.

Teeth chatter on,
Like a playing card
Against bike spokes.

Eyes mercilessly burn
Holes into their fabrics of
Perceptions

You are Frozen.
A block of dead nerves,
That remember how to hurt.

You are Frozen.
Not of Nordic winds
And confining ice,
But of ancient demons
That have you dead to rights.

His mother smoked Diamonds while he was at school,
And after blocking out those who would rule,
He liked to get high and remember the summer,
When times were better.

He wore his pajamas most of the time,
He wore his long sleeves to hide late night red stripes,
Because the pain it felt better than too much of nothing.

The robins wait for spring and he waits for his release,
He's jealous of their bodies that rise above the grief,
If he could fly away and look down,
Well it might get better.

He might sing a happy song or hum a happy tune,
His smile would walk in and light up the room
but this knot in his stomach is heavy,
It weighs him down.

They ask him whats wrong and he says I don't know.
They say nut-up kid, at least you've got a good home,
Your melodramatic ******* is bringing us down.

Some think that he's strong 'cause there's weight in his eyes,
Some think that he's special for the way that he cries,
But he is frail, he is fading, he is falling,
Faster than ever.

All the friends that he had,
They were his angels.
All The friends that he has.
They are his angels.

They say normality is overrated, but **** that man my head is ******* hating

this.

and these.

and those.

Moments were the conversations are fluid, out a mouth and into  heads.
It's intimate.

I am a thief, taking up all those words and not giving anything back. Not twisting them into new ideas, just locking them down to think about later.


So I sit there and when i try broken fractals just kinda fall out of my face. Onto the floor. Viewed as unclean and unwanted by the words already floating around.


Normality seems nice. It seems soft and comforting. Like you can belong anywhere.

Instead of having to search so ******* hard for a niche you can fit in. Not just fit, but fall in.

So how should I end this?
Theres probably a way, but, once again,

Fractals.

your name appears in so many places that there is no denying the significance of you.
coincendence and sequcenalities be ******.

you are there and here and there again.

It must not be the same for you, as my name is not so common.
Perhaps rolling by the in credits of B rated movies or heard amongst an ornery crowd.

Yet you know as well as I, the crows carry my name on their breast and call.
They know me as well as the wing takes flight...

knife edge white upon the canvas of black night the moon gossips with the stars.
she whispers things in the early hours that only dreams can decipher,
and so
you are there as well.

inexorably tangled in this web weaved by gods...

have you cursed me?

I wonder if I have cursed you.

a dark and desperate part of me hopes so.

The summer was a time for the Blues and muddy water.
While the fall seems to hold something sinister.
Like a word on the tip of your tongue it hangs in the air.
Waiting.
There is beautiful melancholy in the leaves; Autumns musicians sing their repetitive, lonely songs.
Out here, it stirs, hanging heavy on their coat-tails.
Creating sagging eyes and matted hair.
It seems Autumn is a time for beautifully sinister chords accompanied by soft voices made harsh by long draws on their cigarettes and sighs full with crisp air.

If I could change one day in my past,
It'd be the day my boots beat the path,
So I wonder, how it could be,
If my gypsy soul never touched my feet.

I had a lady and she loved me so,
But the road you know it owns my soul,
So I wonder, how it i could be,
If my gypsy soul never touched my feet.

Dont fall in love with us travelin' kids
We'll break your heart as we leave with the wind,
So I wonder, how it could be,
If I could love a little longer than the season of spring.

Maybe if I was a better man,
But now I sit here wonderin' if I can go on
Yea I gatta keep on

And you should know I'm the king of bones
I'll rip out your spin so I can stand on my own.
Once I'm in, I'll tear you apart.
Leave you naked, bruised up, cut up, and exposed in the dark.

I've got my cigarettes I've got my ****,
All to keep my feelings under me,
In the mirror I see empty eyes,
So I roll myself a doobie and I look towards the sky.

The consequences of my wanderlust.
Are tears from the faces I have touched,
To my friends, Im sorry I'm gone,
I'm doin well.

If theres a welcome Ive over stayed it,
American dreams are overrated,
Sun sets up on mountain tops
thats where you're ganna find me.

I've got no money got no land to defend.
My journey will never come to an end.
Sun sets up on mountain tops
Thats where you ganna find me.

My gypsy soul and me.

Without a home,
And doomed to roam.

Theres something in your eyes,
I can't explain it.
I think something you died.
Do you feel unwanted?
Just have another smoke,
It'll make you feel better.
You'll be part of the crowd.
At least for a while.

Ignore the gray skies,
It's a fleeting moment.
Go out for a walk,
your bones are thirsty.
So your drowning in yourself again.
I don't know how you stay afloat,
As hollow as you are,
I know you feel heavy.

I'd say it gets worse before it gets better,
but I know better.
It's ganna stay bad.
So I don't wanna live for long,
Go ahead and keep your Gods,
I'm alright with just fading.

She weaves,
Fluidly.
Lazily veering as trails left behind cast endearing auroras.
Silk, wrapping gently the porcelain scapes
and lust hued summits.
Wires drop with delicate hooks, decorated with
droll baubles.
To ensnare and pierce the dew coated mounds
with scintillating rings that dance 'round the all consuming abyss.

As the sun rises so does my mood, the golden light exercising my shadow from my being and casting it across landscapes. I stare into the blinding gold and bask in the solar radiation. It warms my skin and my heart, for the sunlight shows a world worth compassionate thoughts and love. Clouds wax and wane, glowing with shades of pinks oranges and blues. Lovers and the Loveless wake in unison. Lovers share the new dawn with morning rituals and the loveless become hopeful once again...
At least for a moment.

My head is full of ****
And my heart is ******* Ill
Your bruisin me your cuttin me your love it ******* kills.
My mind is running fantasies
My hands, a nervous twitch
I try and stay away from you but i cant you ******* *****
It aint right to be so sad
It aint right to be so mad
But if you just dropped dead tonight well Id be ******* glad
And I know that i cant have you
But my chest it ******* heaves
Cause whenever your around me its the way you ******* tease
And if for just one day
That i could hold your hand
Well I just wouldn't care that your boyfriend wants me dead

Just stop teasing me and leading me on and every day im just mopin round im crying i just want my ******* way. Now i know im unappealing and i know i aint too bright but if you would just come to me and cure me of this blight well I'd treat you really well and I'd save you from your hell, but i know that it wont happen so i hope that you can tell that i want you ******* dead and i wish that you were gone cause my love you hurts so bad that im just ganna crawl in a hole and die
Sorry.

When I'm outside at four in the morning standing in the bitter cold smoking my cigarette,
I always look towards the stars and wish that I could fly so ******* far away.
I wish I could sit upon some celestial body with a searing atmosphere and powerful storms so I could rage and scream and my flesh would boil and my bones would melt; my mind would break and my soul would toil on the depression and torment of love and loss until I am nothing more than wisps of carbon on blistering winds.

The Black Hat Crow, sittin on his throne
Countin all the money that he owns
Collectin pretty bits on his dark wing
He made a fortune on lifitn things

He got a suit like oil, he got wicked eyes
He got a voice like deaths hangin on his side
He got one eye on heaven, and two feet in hell
They say he stole those wings from micheal himself.

You better hide your money its a new moon tonight
The black hat crow hes takin flight
Your wallets
Your purses
Your shinest things
It all belongs
To the black hat crow

The beggars all know him as a givin man
He cross they path he puts a coin in they hand
A little information is all he needs
Like, where ya been and where ya sleep
The coppers cant get him, hes ten steps ahead
He got eyes and ears all over this land

God forbid you ever witness this
the black hat crow got a red right hand

You better hide your money
Its a new moon tonight
The black hat crow hes takin flight
Your baubles your heirlooms
Your shinest things
It all belongs
To the black hat crow

He awoke with a start, the weight of a restless night leaving him suddenly as it was the stench that hit him first. He shot up in bed, still covered from the sweat of his nightmares, and began dry heaving. The thick odor assaulted his senses, causing his eyes to water and his nose to snot. It smelled of decay and death. The strong sickly sweet scent of lilac mixed in as though to try and perfume the foul smell.
It was too much and he vomited onto his dusty wooden floor. Wild fear then took him. He knew what this was and had smelled it before many times. **** the Gods, he thought, He never thought it would be him. He stumbled out of bed and half-ran, half-fell through his small shack. His constitutions wavering, he threw open the heavy pine door and looked to his feet. He found that could not scream as fear tightened around his throat and his blood ran as cold as the Nordic Winds.
The black charred bones of an infant elk lie at his door step. Frayed and rotting twine held the thing together haphazardly and he could feel the Evil surging from the remains.
He had been Chosen.  
He grabbed at the banister, white knuckling the railing, and bent over double once again purging himself out of fear.
With bleary eyes he stared down the road at the plot of scorched earth that marked the remains of the last house that found The Mark at it's door..
This would be his last days on this Plain as a man

He sat next to the Mark and sobbed. Great tears rolled down his face as he thought of all he was about to leave behind. As the Day broke he watched his last sunrise. He muttered his thanks to The Gods, however grim the morning was, it was glorious sight. Just the other day the sun had been met with Falls overcast skies, promising evening storms. Today, however, the sun broke through great white clouds. Brilliant rays of light charging the sky with its intense morning golds and blues.
The light stretched across the forest town of Wilds Watch. Creeping up the dirt roads and casting long shadows from the various wooden and clay structures. Morning dew began to steam from the thatch roofs and tall grasses leaving a gentle fog on the town. The forest in the distant seemed more ominous than ever.
As he thought about the horrors he would soon face doors began to open as the suns light reached out and through the windows of the weathered houses. The people knew what this morning brought. "It" had come ti claim another sacrifice. The unspeakable horror only took strong, youthful men, the rumor being that It needed them to add to It's unholy keep as The Walking Dead. They wore masks with lemon grass, flowers and pine needles stuffed inside and poking through the edges. The unholy stench of The Mark crept far from his house and would linger into the sobering weeks to come.
Their eyes held pity and sorrow. He knew they also breathed a sigh of relief from the scented masks as they had avoided It's Mark for another year.
"So, I am doomed to join the Walking Dead." he thought aloud with spiteful and ragged breath.

I've asked myself often,
Why am I here? Whats my purpose?
And in moments of madness when the rising sun is mine and I alone can grasp the clouds and shape the light.
In those groggy half-steps off a bus in Somewhere, America, where the stars grip the horizon and the incandescent glow of a sleeping city bleeds into the twilight,
I always find my answer.

I am here,
To ride until I am passed out on strange shoulders as tired and tense as my own.
To be rained out and washed up against gas station sanctuaries.
To be a friendly face to those who know only a few in this sea of tight lips and laser focused eyes.

I am here,
To tear cotton candy skies into road maps to there.
To pull light into the darkness and turn these chains into prisms that splash color into the void.
To rip out stitches just to see the blood because there is no beauty without pain and perception is everything.

I am here..
To find the small things.
To indulge in a microcosm of bliss.
A fresh sandwich on the highway.
Five dollars passed from a strangers hand.
A cadillac cigarette.
The whispering of trees,
Distant rolling thunder.

The road owns my soul and a devil has possessed my feet.
I am here to cast my own blend of fire into the world.
I am here,
To wander.

If you took away all my sadness
and useless rage.
I'm afraid there wouldn't be
Much left standing.
So I'm not asking for
Your cure.
I just need a few bucks
So I can drink,
With my friends.

So maybe tonight won't be
So God ****** rough.

Music is my medicine
but lately,
It's not workin'
I'm ganna need a double dose,
To feel alright.
So I'll blast crystals to my cranium,
So I don't feel so low.
I'll play my guitar and sing
until my lungs explode.

So maybe tonight won't be
So God ****** rough.

A voice like crushed ice.
grating and cool.

Sly eyes scan for
Scrumptious souls to steal

Cheeky smiles and chivalrous ways
A silver tongue to complete his play

1000 miles, and I'm still on his radar.

Theres lots of talk about love.
It's always in poems and in songs.
Some girl left.
Some guy broke her heart.
I don't know.
Wonder what happened to me?
I used to love
love poems.
Now, they just make me feel heavy.
Sickly.
Sad.
It's not because I don't have love.
I do.
Hell, shes in the other room.
Well.
I'm leaving soon.
Traveling kids tend to do that.
She knows.
She says shes okay with it.
But soon,
I wonder,
If she'll hate love poems, like I Do.
Will she feel heavy,
Sickly,
Sad?

I hope not.

I am over flowing.
A tempest,
Of temperamental triads and
Trebuchet casting wards past ivory towers.

My silent guardian,
Now waxes in power and glow.
It's shadow wanes from the movement
Of Whimsical celestial tops.

Dancing,
to natures infinite rise and fall rhythm

Dark Waves Cascade out from my center.
My heart shakes and groans,
my gut twists in discontent.
My mind races.

Dark waves radiate from me.
I am the epicenter of a room full of malice.
Infecting,
Changing

Why bother with, uh..

S'whats the point?

I see stars while I wait for the lights to turn green.
Drunken thoughts are sober truths,
they say.
Old friends rekindled,
with a fifth of whiskey,
and an old man to look up to.

Am I honerable?
well I'm not sure.
I have morals.
but do I follow them?
Well I'm not sure.

Hey kid,
how are you now.,
that youve grown a bit more.
Seen some more ****.
Can you walk in other shoes.
Now that youve seen through others eyes?

The sun will guide. Ya dont be scared.
You'll find your place.
in this crazy world.
ya dont worry now.
You'll find a bottle
Oh, you'll find your words,
Whats that you say?
Ya,
Imagine if you will.
One thousand, thousand birds,
Flying over head/
each other with a thought from your head.
And Imagine if you will,
You gatta look up,
Pick a bird, so you can say a thought,
But you get a feather, half a word,
it doesnt make sense,
not to you,
No, not to who your talking to.
And
Kid im sorry,
thats the way it is,
for you at least,
Are you sure at least,
that others dont feel like this,
is it just you?
Are you sure,
yea
Son are you sure?
Well i'm seeing stars
waiting for lights to turn green,
I'll find that bottle
so I can chase my dreams.

The night was washed out in a errie blue grey. The moon made the beat for me a bit less anxious.. This part of the city aint never been kind. Taking a long drag from a stale ciggarette i thought about the dective boss man introduced me too at the bar. A Robert Cobalt. A steely dispostion and eyes that cut through in a way that didnt make total sense. He told me about a  lead. Riches and adventure await if I'd just put aside some morals and go with it he said. Diamonds.. Always been attracted to the worthless things, theyre just rocks but I bet a fist full of em.would make any man feel like a god. The light turned green and I wondered what would make a man get all twisted up and go after such a thing. Turning a corner towards 8th street I looked out my passanger window and saw something not too out of the ordinary on this side, a man approaching a women, knife in hand and a gait that meant bussiness. I turned on my lights and told the sunnuvabitch to stop where he was, guess the man was desperate cause he ran full force towards the women, after her bag id guess. Reflex and training set in and i went through the motions, the whole time thinking theres no way i could be fast enough to stop this. What i sae next surprised the hell outta me. Calm as could be, right before the man got to her and right as i was stepping out of the car she threw an elbow right into the mans chest. He doubled over, caught of guard by the heavy blow. She grabbed the back of his head by his hair pulled him up straight and flat laid him out with a well placed blow to the jaw. Subsequenctially my jaw hit the floor. I walked towards her slowly, the threat neutralized. She stood calmly and lit her self a smoke. She told me her name was Tessa. Tessa rosiere. A privite invistagator. I guess i looked more shaken than she did as she offered me a ciggarette. I stood there for maybe a bit too long without saying anything and the man started to groan and stir. I asked what she was doing out here this late already knowing the answer. Following a lead she says.. Before i can ask more theres a bright flash a strange smell and a dull pain. I look down and my stomachs leaking blood. Cant remember much after that. No idea who had shot me but waking up in the hospital on the east end was surprise. Still alive i guess. The sterile scent of the room made me feel like.running and the sight of all the tubes sent my heart faster than it needed to be. Shot in gut. Either by tessa or by that ***.. Maybe even some one else who knows. Still alive though.. Oddly the tgought of diamons crept into my scattered brain. The idea seemed more than appealing now.  No more late beats in a bad part of town. No more getting shot,  no more having to work. Just a fist full of diamonds and the freedom.to do as i wanted. My last groggy thought as the flourecnest lights blurred was of Cobalt.. I'd find the *******. And see what he had to say
.sleep took me like a riptide.

It wasn't long after when I got out of the hospital. The doctor gave me all kinds of prescriptions but I knew the only medicine i needed was waiting for me in a smokey room full of tired souls. A double on the rocks. I walked into the run down pub and the smell of cigars and whiskey welcomed me like a hug from my father. Only not as warm. "Double on the rocks. Keep me comin til I leave." I said. Muddy Waters was painting the whole place blue. "That's not gonna help you heal, jewels.." A voice said behind me. I turned around and it was special agent Heller and her trainee Agent Ronen. They had sweet faces but you'd be a lucky man to not be on their bad side. Heller blew smoke in my face with a smile. I guess that's as close as I'll get to a "welcome back". We sat and talked for a while while Ronen looked at her phone. She wasn't into conversation much. Once we were all sure we had one too many, we were ready to call it a night until Ronen got a call. "****. Don't pack it in just yet." Heller scoffed "I'll be ****** if I'm gonna go wipe some rookies nose this late at night." Ronen looked at her boss sternly. "You're gonna wanna see with one. It's not rookie this time. Murphy Pendleton just kicked the door in on a **** lab on 92nd street". Pendleton. That crazy *******. Hearing his name ****** me off. "You guys can go handle that ******* on your own. I'm not..." "No. You're coming. I saw your badge and Gun. You might as well be on the clock Jewels. Let's get down there before he scares off the camera crews again. It's gonna be a long night." Heller said putting out her cigarette in my drink. She was right. No one ever wants to walk in on a crime scene if Pendleton is involved. Chief Cobalts been after that ******* badge for years. But ******* does he get the job done. Tip the bartender, grab the coats. Time to see what fresh hell was waiting for us. Before we left, I put Tom Waits on the jukebox...

I don't even hear the sirens anymore. We all got in Hellers squad car and headed to the crime scene. I see the lights flashing from the roof of the car. But the sirens might as well be the sound of a car passing or a telephone ringing. When you hear something everyday, it just fades away. Heller and Ronen sat up front and I was in the back. I had forgotten how cramped it was back there. It took me back to when I was a stupid kid. Back when I was afraid of those same lights and same sirens. Back when i still saw people passing by, not just potential criminals. We pulled up to the crime scene and the press was everywhere. The whole front of the building was taped off. "Well at least there aren't any bodies in the street this time. Looks like Pendleton could be getting soft on us." I saw Ronen let a smile slip across her face. I couldn't help but laugh. We all know Pendleton's rep. I guess you gotta have a dark sense of humor for this ****. One of the rookies I liked was holding the line. "Ventus. What are we looking at?" I asked while lighting up a cig. Ventus looked down at her feet. "It's not good. He really just......it's not good." She said in a tired low tone. Heller put a hand on her shoulder. "Go home Tera. We can handle this. Jewels. You go on ahead with Ronen." Heller said. We walked under the tape and towards the scene. The door to the small shop was handing off the hinges. Bullet holes in the glass. Blood on the floor. The red trail led us to the back room. One. Two. Three. Four. Four dead bodies. Blood on the walls. And in the cleaning supply closet on the back wall off this moldy dreary **** lab sat Pendleton on a over turned bucket. He still had his pistol in his hand. "Ronen. I'm gonna..." I started. "Psh. You don't gotta tell me twice." She said before exiting back to the front of the store. A shoe shop with a **** lab in the back. That's a new one. I started towards Pendleton. It was hardly a graceful entrance on account of having to dance around dead bodies. About 3 feet from Pendleton is where I noticed, the man wasn't shaking. He was just sitting. "Pendleton. What the **** are you doing? What happened here?" I barked. "Got a lead on this lab and came to investigate. As soon as they saw me, the pulled their guns. I didn't wanna get left out so I pulled mine. The 2 up front ran to the back. Caught the tall one in the shoulder. Reloaded and came back here. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom." He said. Calm and collected. "There's only 2 guns on the floor. The other two, why are they dead?" I asked. "**** Jewels. Maybe after I dropped the two with guns, the other 2 picked them up. Maybe I did what I had to. And maybe I'm not in the mood for all YOUR ****** QUESTIONS." He yelled looking up at me. His teeth showing like a mad dog. His gun was still in his hand. "Get your **** together Pendleton. This isn't the time or place for your ****. And put your ****** gun up. The cameras are right outside." I said quietly. Pendleton was a loose canon. And I made it known I hated his guts. But hey, you can't choose who you work with. "What's the matter with you? Normally you woulda left by now. Why are you sticking around for this one?" I asked looking around the room. Pendleton reached in his pocket and pulled something out. "I pulled the IDs on all these guys." He said handing me for drivers licenses. "Jacob Wrens, Joseph Brown, Tanner Wilcocks and David........Cobalt..." I read to myself. I darted my eyes at him. His face was dead. His eyes were grey. "Murphy.....are you telling me......one of these kids is the chiefs son?" I said slowly. He looked down at the floor, opened his mouth and said ".....was"

That sinister Autumn air, it is a force to be reckoned with. It crashes hard into your lungs forcing strangled screams and the pressure bursts your ear drums in ****** fury. This is a time for lonesome walks towards winters deadly grip. May your rage warm your blood as you huddle against the darkness seeking your forgotten warmth.
Crystals fall and you forget their beauty as you are consumed by useless and petty anger.
You stand in the blizzard of freezing winds and your own apathy and you realize you are here alone. There is no one to blame but yourself. So you run. To what you are uncertain. Perhaps back to a home that has forgotten you, or perhaps to another street lamp to record your mortal remains.

I like saying good morning to passer-byes,
It always catches them off guard.
Something about grinning teeth coming from a face like this.
I like when car doors lock when I get too close,
What the **** is it that I would do?
Because I create disasters just by pouring milk.
I like soft carpets because it makes sleeping not so hard.
Theres a stoop where I like to sit, where I think a home used to be.
when I lay down on the cool concrete I wonder if they wonder about me.
I like big billboards that tell me how much i could win.
Cause that gives me a day dream so i can escape out of my head.
Well, nothing in this world makes sense,
We're made up of the smallest tiny bits.
So when you finally slit your wrists it'll be okay.
One day you could be a star again.
I like when people are smarter than me.
So that I can learn something else.
As long as it's not politics, that ****'ll make me stab myself.
I dont care whos right or wrong cause thats not a real thing.
Your morals are just popular opinion.
I like playing guitar on the street.
If you pass by with a dollar, why don'tcha' stop and listen.
I'm not asking for your pity I'm just asking for your time.
Listen to what I've got to say.
It's not that Important, I just like to share
Maybe you've got a song you'd like to play.
Why don'tcha' strum upon my mortal remains.
I like construction, really, skeletons of anykind.
I'd like to visit the inside once the walls are up and done.
I wont break anything, dont look at me that way
I dont cause no problems, I'll just leave when you need me.
I really like metaphors.
So here's one about my thoughts,
It's like One hundred billion birds above my head
It's like
Every feathers a letter, every bird is a word, every flock is a sentence.
I'll try and grab a few and bring em down to tell you what I think of the sunset.
I'd like to say I believe in second chances, but chances are you do too
ands thats just a way to **** me twice.
I like words that start with D
Like, *****, desperate, desperadoes, in dilapidated destitute look for some ******* sleep.
I like gas station lazy days and crystals to my cranium.
I'm not selfish with material things, but i'm greedy with the passing of time.
In a way I think thats worse
leave me alone.
I'm the lifeless nail and your the bleeding flesh
The road is a bamboo seed just forcing us apart.
In the end I'm still on top.

Instead of open skies and gold clouds,
Its florescent lights and shuffling crowds.
Once I'm gone I'll never miss another sunrise.
My neck will ache from looking up,
But at least I won't look down in defeat.
Once I'm gone,
The only weight I'll carry is a pack and dreams.
Instead of a past that looks darker through the seasons.
I am watching from further away everyday.
I am disconnected from everyone.
They try to talk to me and I spit back dial tones.
I am burning my bridges;
Wearing the embers in my teeth.
My grin will be brilliant,
From all the smoulders I'll eat.
I'll leave the cage I've been pacing ruts in.
Clipped wings will grow anew.
Fresh feathers with a sense of purpose.
I'll smell like rain before it hits the smog.
I'll sing like I was born to,
Just like bird songs.
I'm not here to make you proud.
I'm not here to stay silent in these rooms.
I'm not here and I never really was.
*I'm already gone.

I think I've got this thing in my mind.
It likes to flap its wings and beat on my brain.
I think it's a bird of some kind but I can't tell.
I can tell It makes me feel crazy.
I like to fly sometimes, really whenever I can.
To Just kinda take off from here,
Though, I've never needed wings.
Sometimes I'll fly to twilight zones with trees,
Other times ocean blue places wrought with abuse.
Or even red brilliant fires where I dance and scream.
(People say I shouldn't say but there's also a place of black and pain deep somewhere in my cerebral-whatever.)
I grew on my own winds one time. They carried me past the limit of what I once knew.
Something called the sky.
Then my wings melted.
I fell,
And I still am,
And...

I think I've got this thing in my mind.

Rage and rage inside my mind.
This ugly thing inside my head,
Black as crow and apple red,
Grows and spreads like mold on bread.
Rage and rage inside my mind.
It smells of rot and lack of care,
But in the mirror; breath of air.
I must be real, I'm standing there.
Rage and rage inside my mind.
Guilty, puncture; made of blood.
My song is this, too often sung.
My strand of fate was never strung.
Rage and rage inside my mind.

**** it up **** it up **** it up **** it up.
Trust your gut kid and **** it up.
So you see its wrong and you sit in silence?
Young boy your silence is violence.
So you post on your ******* wall.
About how you care about us all
About how you're tired of all this ****.
Yet you still sit there.
Doing nothing.
Face lit up by your prisoner screen.
Feelings high from the thumbs it brings.

You are as guilty as the fat cats that **** for pleasure.
You are as guilty as the crooks that created leisure.

In  your silence and false sense of self worth,
You let them continue to burn and destroy.

**** it up.
Get off the computer.
Go outside,
Bother your neighbors,
Graffiti the walls,
Film the police,
Grow some **** *****.
Break some **** windows,
**** with the banks
Let them know that you will not take,
This **** lying down.


**** it up **** it up **** it up **** it up.
Trust your gut.

I'd like to be with the lights in the sky,
Always on a spiritual high,
Chasing galaxies.

I  had a dream,
The Moon enveloped the sky,
Watching me close,
Like a Celestial eye.

Oh a wisp of white smoke,
From a face of rough stone.

I know I'm guilty
No Need to remind,
Oh, you remember what I've done,
But would you still say Good-bye?

Well,

I'm a doctor, I'm the butcher,
Yes, I'm The King of Bones,
I'll harvest your ribcage
an' add it to my throne.

On my plate is your heart,
With ketchup and cheese.
You know these hearts,
Taste better the more they bleed.

In my goblet of wine,
Your soul Swims and cries.

Oh a wisp of smoke,
From a face of rough stone.

When that blue sky gets dragged, shrieking,
towards oblivion.
The moon comes out to remind.
I know I'm guilty.
Oh you remember what I've done,
Are you still ganna say Good-bye?