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484 · May 2014
Gravity
Paul Donnell May 2014
beyond everything he thought possible.  
              and                                    ­                              Down,
   He floated. Up                                                               ­                    far below
                The Earth  
             nupS                 Spun
             ekil                         like
             a                       a
               Celestial top
                                                              
 ­   Magic, He thought,                                                         ­     The only thing
             to hold this dance together.
****** writing while listening to Tomita the planets.
also. Its being a ***** and wont let me have it in the structre i want
474 · Sep 2014
Nothing worth saving
Paul Donnell Sep 2014
I'm a horrible lover,
An unreliable friend.
I don't know what the hell your talkin' bout when you call me a man.
Cause I'm a coward,
Pessimistic,
A liar and a fraud.
I drink till I'm happy, smoke dope till I'm gone.
My memories they haunt me until early light,
My eyes they stare an unbreakable glare.
So friends and father just leave me alone,
I ain't worth the trouble, I ain't helpful at all
So let me dig my own grave,
Just let me carve my headstone.

Let me fly with the angels.
yup
468 · Jul 2014
Traveling again.
Paul Donnell Jul 2014
I'd like to be with the lights in the sky,
Always on a spiritual high,
Chasing galaxies.
a poem that was first written upon my pants while I was a vagrant vagabond.
467 · Dec 2016
Neubulous nurseries
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
It started with an S. Humbly mumbling yes no maybe i dont know oh **** vertigo should i let go. my brain was blasted, a cocktail of chemicals and superfluidious ether. The push pull ying yang fung shui grabs the heat seeking missle and grabs the brain, attracts sychronized vertacies but the magnitism flips as imaginary consequence givesway to repulsion of the imaginary sense. Pulsars pulsating sending shock waves through space time highways a terrible silence is heard then music then woah. Gravity wells staring me down warping and warming WARNING particle collision is immenent a stellar nurersy might be born of this hyperspace supernova scintilating energies might synchronize for the bonding of bodies creating a binary star system carefully dancing and explosivly romancing or it could be too much the system overloads entropy wins hot matter turned cold a black hole is formed.

Complicated intracacies to be sure. I think a caphonany was born if only i could phrophasize and figure out where my head flipped out and if there would be any imminent fallout. Wise to withhold or a missed chance to experience an amazing incredible moment where time and space may have seperated and two bodies joined in between the seams. Just amazing.
461 · Apr 2015
Headache Ooze
Paul Donnell Apr 2015
I need some holy water
Holy god I'm feelin' dead,
I'm thirsty for some water
But I'll drink coke instead.

**** all the grass,
Keep your flowers in boxes.
You makes jokes about death
You breath in more toxins.

Windy days and *** head haze
Push kick rhythms an' trails to blaze.
Gangrene fingers and rusty old strings
Rusty old souls and rotten new wings.  

On the corner with nothing but truth in your pocket
Screamin' bout the lost lovers in their lost gold lockets
How about that, a louder song than before,
Silent storms
You want more.

So **** your gods and drink your coke, grow your flowers and smoke your smokes. Get high and skate, go somewhere new.  Play that old song and make it you. Get angry, get ****** about who and how you lost. Let the new song scream and wash off the moss. Go wander for a bit and clean your soul. Let it be known that you are not life's *****.
ugh yea i dunno man.
what.
460 · May 2014
A conversation
Paul Donnell May 2014
Such a mess               Deep breaths
Im depressed             Dont regress
I cant speak               Dont be meek
It all looks bleak         You're not that weak
Yes I am                     Dont listen to them
I am what I am          No, your a very strong man.
Leave me alone         Fine, I'm going home.
  


           Wait.

                          




                                                                                      **** it..
449 · Sep 2014
Mothers Epitaph
Paul Donnell Sep 2014
Funny,
How tragedy skews your perception of time.
You think I would remember the month,
Or at least the year,
I pulled her out of that den for ***** desperate destitutes,
Trying to escape with help of Crystals and Mana.
It was cold.
Is all I remember really.
Perhaps that's a way of my mind tricking me into thinking,

It never happened.

Her crazed howls from the gurney still echo in my head.
They tell me other wise.
My last memory of my mother seems to be lost to time. was I 15 or 20?
449 · Aug 2014
Sobering up
Paul Donnell Aug 2014
My head rests like a lead balloon.
My stomach sits like a bubbling lagoon.

****,
I drank way too much again.
445 · Jul 2014
Alone In Crowds
Paul Donnell Jul 2014
Social situations stress me out.
My head is full of **** and I'm full of doubt.
My friends all say that I should go out,
But social situations stress me out.
I wish I lived in a different time,
Where it was alright to be the quite type.
I'm a ****** in strangers eyes,
The few friends I've got, think I'm alright.

I like hanging out with my shadow,
I like the sounds of the trees.
I find comfort in the dark,
While all my friends are fast asleep.

Inside me, I feel,
All alone and unreal,
Far away, across the sea.
A private island made for me.

The sails cackle and laugh at me,
The sailors point at what they've seen
A crazy man, without a home,
A desperate man, all alone.  

Reality crashes with the waves,
And I am left with the shattered remains,
I try to piece together what ya said,
But it never clicks inside my head.
more lyrics from another simple strung out song.
443 · Sep 2014
Doubts
Paul Donnell Sep 2014
I'm too childish for a mature love. No matter how bad I want it.
I imagine it would be like a child pestering his father for his first sip of beer.
Wanting it so bad, because he sees how much everyone else drinks it, and how good it makes them feel.
Only to take the drink and realize its horrible tasting and bitter and sickening.
Nothing like he imagined it would be.
419 · Mar 2017
Nervous Blow o u t
Paul Donnell Mar 2017
Too much coffee or a bundle of nerves gone bad either way inside the confines of my lower intestine i hide the makings of interstellar war. nebulous hyperions hypothesize the comings of a gratuitus turbulant gravitational trebulation. The trumpets will sing im sure as i scream towards a silent night I am but a silent sight.
Wait.
I think im just nervous. Get this, its worse and, im trying but its.. Ya never know where friends stand aint done much for them been a long time since I found a new storm to set up in. lightning rods making neurons here we are,
i am a social *****.

The bubbling bravado of new hopes to swaddle are dopped and crushed. the fontenal of my chitinus exterior is pressed and my fear is here to be pulled out and dangled in my face it feels shameful.
Words pass the throat and are shreded by smoke stained teeth and i think if i fumble enough my bumbling lips may stitch the sentence back up and i might just make sense.

My hands are shaking again
My heart is racing and then
My mind races and bends
Anxiety is the buzzing bashful brother of exitment and bravado
Lashes out in spazzy gestures
And sends my head space on a trip to burning pastures
Bragadosious i am not
Bed ridden sad sappy ******
Pent up and
Woah
My thoughts derail again
Where the hell are my friends
They didnt go anywhere
Its all in my head

Twitchy turbulance tackling full force into tubluar pathways my blood
Is
Screaming
411 · Dec 2016
Untitled 23
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
It started with an S. Humbly mumbling yes no maybe i dont know oh **** vertigo should i let go. my brain was blasted, a cocktail of chemicals and superfluidious ether. The push pull ying yang fung shui grabs the heat seeking missle and grabs the brain, attracts sychronized vertacies but the magnitism flips as imaginary consequence givesway to repulsion of the imaginary sense. Pulsars pulsating sending shock waves through space time highways a terrible silence is heard then music then woah. Gravity wells staring me down warping and warming WARNING particle collision is immenent a stellar nurersy might be born of this hyperspace supernova scintiling energies might synchronize for the bonding of bodies creating a binary star system carefully dancing and explosivly romancing or it could be too much the system overloads entropy wins hot matter turned cold a black hole is formed.

Complicated intracacies to be sure. I think a caphonany was born if only i could phrophasize and figure out where my head flipped out and if there would be any immient fallout. Wise to withhold or a missed chance to experience an amazing incredible moment where time and space may have seperated and two bodies joined in between the seams. Just amazing.
405 · May 2014
Is that what's missing now?
Paul Donnell May 2014
If I scattered the midnight sky
Setting stars and Heaven aflame,
Could you see it in me again?
What you saw when I was a curious case,
filled with mystery and a romanticized depression.
405 · Jun 2017
Uh, yeah man
Paul Donnell Jun 2017
Blow my mind speak in divine flowy sub laminate between the lines, eye cut  through the body cut through love be raunchy, rhetoric the answers already there I only breath heavy air I'm not a millionaire more like heir to nowhere, master of the barren pasture, salt in wound the morning after sick puppy **** lucky grab chunky crunchy munch the bunch, bunch the rest you know with the radar casters the radio sonic receiver digest the pulpy black and white the combo of lie then excite feed proper postures for pompous up nose president of class Pegasus rider cloud shaper cloud crafter come down cast plaster mold masters mocked by pidgeons sheep dove chickens chicken check the crow rear morrow  yesterday's sorrow the future is hollow the present is persistent presence pupil popping places penultimate progression equals one plus two divided by what will you lose loose lip secrets lapping ears too soon big boom drama driven **** man that spoonful of sour truth hurt more than the knife cut of gossip lie lay the toss up on the table listen listen speak to angels or angles figure out the when where why or just taste the night on palate of your soul roll the bones roll the ***** thoughts home grab deep sleep with your dreams kiss em goodnight then let loose a parody of screams one night stand craigslist ad see em again hopeful hopeless hopping ***** home wrecks homogenize energize heavy drive crash core kick door boot scoot root shoot dug up what luck food truck nation street of treats get groovey gravy with the spicy enticing lacy noodle mood lighting . Uh yeah man
403 · Feb 2016
Bird Man
Paul Donnell Feb 2016
I'm ganna rip out my ribs,
and wear as wings
Dead leaves for feathers,
and strung up on strings.

My heads in the clouds,
My boots in the dirt.
I'm stretched thin,
I'm ganna fall an' meet the earth.

And I can't breath
I can't breath
I'm ganna fly.


Now those old robins,
ain't they just like me?
Red chest plumage,
and waitin' for spring.

So I'll shoot through,
that electric blue.
Chest wide open
and bleedin' on you.

*And I can't breath.
I can't breath.
I'm ganna fly.
lyrics and ****
403 · Mar 2017
BRAAAAAIN VOMITUS
Paul Donnell Mar 2017
I left tomorrow yesterday
I saw myself in the door was open

Stella froze the east coast just as I made for leaving
I was burned by the same name and now shocked to slowing


Everyone has a right to their wrongs
You wanna say something but sometimes
Just let it lay.

The feelings of loneliness where words are all you have gripping your phone in your left hand because your right feels wrong like maybe the wall punch was not much like maybe the last lie was too much. The face you saw already a memory post op perfect colors and emory embroidered by the good times the truth gets stitched in behind.
Gingivitis is meet with ginger two part ***** cigarette than three more why take care if your spitting blood but it doesn't hurt why bother setting up the future when you already know its coming to a screeching halt what a ****** up romanticism Dorian Grey nothing left but play. Everything I ever tried I was good but at **** that see the world die young thats why I try only reason why I try anything. All steps to just drop it and take one.

I left yesterday to tomorrow

It ******* ***** when theres a brain buzz and its just words all fuzz no coherency no story just a flowing ******* leaking brain grey matter turned chromatic  in the sense of no sense color wheel ****** up no complimentary matches complimentary, complimentary? It's free with your purchase, italic smooth bold this was told points in a parfait  I feel better feeling this way oh hey coffee house drama non sense non sense non sense make sense
big mouth super sayan saying nothing important just words of calloused over used broken down 92' classic

I left tomorrow to yesterday.

pompaloose I'm feeling loose like dancing with this pre-made noose I'm hanging there I'm hanging there my tongue is hanging on the stagnated air. Stagnated? Deer horns air horns air burns skin goes shiver here take a sliver, its complimentary
Love is the air, air is the lungs everything that comes with that just like bugs come with the hugs, put on it repeat let the moment steep try to understand exactly what you can, your not very smart surgery on art
pull it all apart now ya ****** it up made it ugly with the cuts.
Hang on. Back to love.
Love is in the air, air is the lungs, the brain is starved of oxygen you start to speak in tongues.
Nothings making sense your running for the fence you get over there she is as you start to **** your pants
Metaphorically

This is all just tired sleepy randomly generated subconscious whispering ******* words that flow without thought little time for a litter of words don't ***** the pooch redrink the *****

Why write craft crack no point

buzzy fuzzy brain that just won't slow down making up making progress feels like a fire thats running down my spine. I'm still standing in line! Could walk out the door at any moment gotta go but I don't why not dont know or maybe I do so hey subconscious whats going on man talk to me get the words out your in control aren't  you why do you only whisper sub concise not so accurate or trusting get out get out get up get out.

Ah hell.

guess its over.
This one anyways.
397 · Jan 2018
Cant you hear me?
Paul Donnell Jan 2018
It was supposed to be listned to loud but i could not get loud enough
Seasonal pain seasonal change
My guts feel like marbles and tantrums
Its gonna be with ya the rest of your life and anything ya do soured by random access memories chunking down in the deep down deep things listen deep things scream it was supposed to be loud but i could never get loud enough
Seasonal pain, seasonal change
Dread, 2018, age of trumpets judgement jumping to concussions brick red smoke black starts at the fingers then shakes at the knees fire inside the call was supposed to be loud but i could never be loud enough
Seasonal pain, seasonal change
Shot to ****, slow cooked peppered preped and sold, lies stack trust me ******* trust me catastrophe careening on buses across the country destiny will bury me i shoulda cried louder but its never loud enough
Seasonal pain, seasonal change.

Whats it matter any way.
Help me
Paul Donnell May 2014
Oozing, creeping; vile mess,
Rises from my sinking chest,
And I am not the man I seem to be.

The mask I've donned upon me,
Now lies twitching on the floor,
And there you are knocking at my door.

Truth behind my empty eyes,
Cuts out your tongue as I cry,
Please save me, I can not bear this pain.

Yes,
I see it in your granite gaze,
You can not bear to see this pain,
My hollow hopes drop on the floor,
As you cower back towards the door.

Have you condemned me now?

Alone at home my heavy bones,
Splinter as I touch the phone.
The dial tone mocks my lonesome need for,

Communication.
388 · Apr 2015
Darklights
Paul Donnell Apr 2015
I thought i was in a good mood.

Turns out i'm just manic.

At least it's something.

Something to hold onto.

It always turns dark though.

Like a cold star.

Or another contradictory thing I can't be bothered with coming up with.
388 · Dec 2016
Fuckin... Here we go again
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
A nuetron star born in a silent room for a breif moment. A cascading caphoney cracked and cratered my cranium in a moment of concious exhileration. Dumb struck and reeling as i found my self in the malestrom of a magnificant multichromatic  multiverse.  Touching to touch what crazy subconcious thing have you seeded into my mind.
382 · Sep 2017
Self introduction
Paul Donnell Sep 2017
Im terrified of COPD
But still smoke ciggarettes like a well used chimney
Soot building up the ashes unswept
Making it to 60, probably not a safe bet.
Drinking at altitude to catch me a better buzz
Fly fish for escape from grey matter fuzz.
If everything i built came tumbling down id stand on the rubble, three feet taller and proud.
Im better at descruction self disgused as help
A parking garage where a coffee shop stood, this is progress I yell.
This is self induced stolkhome im over exposed. The apture is broken light is burning my bones.
So Paint a picture with my ashes gradients of grey
Reimagine what i am instead seeing the self hate,
And ill thank you. For all the help and the memories
But nothings really changed and ill burn the photographs and ask

Remember these?
381 · May 2017
Questions
Paul Donnell May 2017
Did I bleed enough already?
Sandpaper mounds, rough canyons, and catawampus scars
have replaced the soft hands I once had.
Rage has given way to a sardonic subsonic sentiment.
My throat was cursed and turned to glass.
Every word spoken threatens to shatter
what holds my head to my shoulders.
Have I suffered sufficiently?
The robin in my dry rotted heart
can not fly on whiskey soaked wings.
The sin that I consume I consummate with good intention.
Am I built on dichotomy?
Eye bitten blind, my wish for a fresh beginning
is always met with un-sustainability.
Finger nails aching for the bite of flesh.
Lips ache for fiberglass and lonely blue smoke.

Undulating rotations of no matter where I go there I am.
To understand I can walk there but I can never really walk from,
Is to understand the only way to escape is to change.
Disassemble; disassociate.
Brain waves are the only ones I drown in.
Am I asking the wrong questions?
My heart houses not just birds of spring,
but fledglings of dragons that war with the dampness of my innards.
Waiting for enough tinder to start the flame that burns this shell
and would set me free.
I offer it fingers I cut from lackadaisical moments heaving with unremitting love.
Just to burn the memory of touch.
It hordes digits and I wait for the day it fills my veins with pasteurizing fire.
I ate from the blackness of repetition and habit and became so comfortable in the self destruction I can see no other way to be.
My idiosyncrasies are synchronized with the pain of constantly finding the moon and longing..
I must change.
Before my tired eyes sag and separate from my face.
Before my ribs grow tired of my heavy sighs and point inward.
Before my little robin drowns.

Soon I'll come around.
379 · Sep 2017
Winter fell
Paul Donnell Sep 2017
If it was autumn forever the ribbions tied to the banister of your porch would still be dancing on a vibrant breeze. And in the door step stair well where i left mumbling ghosts of uncerctainty, they might still wail at three a.m. when the cool night air cast me to your warmth.

But winter came and inbetween the microcosom fabric of those ribbions ice crystals grew and shattered, winter glass shreded all the pretty things i left. The ghosts prefered the chance of you but as winter fell and you became more transparent than them, i guess they hitched themselves to the moon, just trying to visit something beautiful.
Im too ******* sappy
377 · Aug 2017
Looping
Paul Donnell Aug 2017
I lost my only pen and consequently lost my head
Sell my psyche .99 only once a month take me away burn everything leave me in the little box you made I'm here I'm here tell me what are my fears slowly dying of irony in a living room with prepackaged food if living is four walls well haha I'm living it up
The crescendo sounds like hey you wanna beer don't think about your fears fortisimo bounce legs grit teeth grip chair turn on the tv live bicariously try to get the experience through fire wire liars
My eyes are melting the chicken is burning  smoke alarm living spontaus combust (ie watch **** smoke **** ride the bus)
I am the walking dead the champion of keeping it down when all I want is to scream and run around
Free floyd ******* because right now writing is all I can do to not loose my ****
376 · May 2017
Untitled 67
Paul Donnell May 2017
Jumped ****** and born to suffer.
Made to strip naked in the wilderness.
The things we knew splayed out next to us as we picked new constellations from trivial mountain nights.
The bus would later hitch up my soul and drag it screaming across the states.
I would soon follow.
Out there in the great beyond I found God inside an onion.
It opened before me and showed exactly how to get down.
Music madness mountain magic.
If only I could tell lies perhaps old strings may still be tied.
Silence...Sardonic.
A message with confused intentions.
My head split from the seed that was planted by a woman of white linen and knowledge of the plague.
Healing waters glowed golden as the silk of spiders made bridges that seemed just sturdy enough to cross.
But was not.
Give us peace here bluesy air dive bar cancer.
Give us peace here, distant fog horn monolith mirrors the fear of rare blood.
Give us peace look deep the fire speaks a vessel of the ancient.
Hold breath and see truth.
Breath out and send.
Once again.
One more.
No one is listening.
375 · May 2014
Excuse me while I lose it
Paul Donnell May 2014
I'm on the verge of mental breakdown.
Can't you see it right behind my eyes.
And I can gaze into the silence
And bring back your muffled cries.
And I can hear the Darkness speaking
It says your fake and full of lies.
I'll bash my face into the pavement,
So I might keep my seldom highs.

The Smile i wear is lying.
This toothy grin will gnash your throat.
My cerebral core is crashing,
And I'm hungry for your hope.
I can Taste the sound of hatred,
And I adore the way it smells.
And the smell and taste of sanity,
Just doesn't suit me very well.

So it'll be One last execution,
A muscle twitch, a trigger click

Polished lead rips through my crazy.
374 · Aug 2017
Breakdown
Paul Donnell Aug 2017
I Wanna break down yeah I wanna cry
Condensation on bottles reflect my plight

I'm getting lost in the city lights
I'm losing my head to the mountain tops
If I could figure out what seems right
Maybe my legs would stop shaking and I could fight.

I wanna break down yeah I wanna cry
little dew drops on the mountain rye

I'm the little ruby in your pocket watch
tickin tock talks in the secret grove
cutting into trees make a timeless notch
My breath still smells of your favorite scotch.

I wanna break down yeah I wanna cry
I remember you laughing at an open sky

I said it'd be okay alright
but I guess I'm a liar sometimes
I said it'd be okay alright
but I guess i'm a liar sometimes

Help me decipher your rorschach face
your finger taps mores code, yeah I'm sure
Your arcane eyes always state the place
I lost the message I have to retrace

I Wanna break down yeah I Wanna cry
Pointless I guess against the gust of wind you shot from your chest.
370 · Sep 2014
Silent
Paul Donnell Sep 2014
This lack of communications skills is the guillotine of my relationships.
Or rather,
Bamboo seeds under ***** finger nails.
The reed slowly growing between the lifeless nail and the lively red flash underneath it.
Painfully pulling apart the fibers that keep us together.
A hot coal on my tongue and sutures on my lips.
Despite your sadness, anger or excitement,

I am silent.
362 · Oct 2017
Wonderlust
Paul Donnell Oct 2017
With the autumn leaves you can hear the determination in my steps
The delusional majesty of walking.
I saw some things.
Makes my fingers sing

I am one fourth six string
Another part poetry

i walk on with my rational in tow
Tries to stop me but i got that birdy brain
Imagination caged
Yeah i saw some things.

The sweepin romance of roads and rigamorits
Death met with the moon shining silver blaring trumpets
Semi trucks, hitch hike with a wallet full of nothin

Catapult me courageously to the crystal canary carriers
song holders on winds to the wild west

Ill sing of you, memory in memorial
Ya magic casters of heart string ballads
Ill leave songs plastered in the trees of long hauls across the arteries of states ive seen
I felt some things

If i knew what i was on about structure would come easily but as my feet wander my head follows suit. Structure cant shake hands with wonder.
Paul Donnell Oct 2016
And you...
You always show up in my dreams.
I can see your light dancing,
Glowing underneath.

Conversations shared in space
I think im astral projecting
You feel real when im asleep

I always snap awake,
Groggy and meloncholy
I Left the window cracked again
Cold air is creeping on my skin

And I
Hate its getting colder
And I
Know novembers closer
Hold on
The turbulance is growing
Nostilgia
tastes bitter when its snowing.

You are a phantom now and tables have turned.
This haunting winter air makes me lose my nerve.
I carry on till i can crawl into my bed
Fall asleep,
Hope i can see you again.

Your voice feels like cardiac arrest
System shock; overload

Your words grab me by the shirt
Lifts me up; magic force

Youre always there through the worst
In my dreams; i strain to hear
I listen out..
November hangs me again

30 days of hell

Im tied to the gray in these skies
Chains made of remembrance
Solitude is what i find.

The worst always comes
with the cold
Please show up..
Melt this world
360 · Oct 2017
I am
Paul Donnell Oct 2017
If trees could talk theyd tell stories.
Of a moon mad boy that travels between the seams.
A guitar motor.
A love punch horror.
A love **** taker,
The holy rock maker.
Crashing gates
takes the face
from bark.
Stoic as the trees
sonic as the sound
crazy loon lashing
dance around.

Heard a voice
One with the birds
birdy brain feather
emergancy of words

Killer killer
the liqour drinker

the little libra
The sinatra fevor

The apple eater
stream water drinker

the hopefull hopeless
Cautious curious

bring it back

the fat cat

the heart beat speaker
detuned reaper

an desperate dreamer of romamce roads and rigamorits

Carolina fire flies
tenneses weeping walls
arkansas arkane maw

The dandy dandalion
Photosynthesis the good times.

The photo prisim
The self made prison
The wall written upon
the wall dashed upon
friends family lovers understood
break down rebound
Some new coast bound.

Nothing but words,
And one with the birds..
359 · May 2017
Adonis Grinned
Paul Donnell May 2017
I'll be your whiskey sacrifice
Adonis smiled thrice that night
Once for me and twice for you
I'll be your love sick sentinel
Your love **** receptacle
Look I think the moon is blushing
Rushing blood taste of tongue
murmurs of a languid soaking love
355 · Jan 2018
Brain mush yes again
Paul Donnell Jan 2018
Mandala ******
Bird brain herder
Pack of wild wolves
Owls without.
Grit teeth say please.
Sea of folks different strokes
Non of genious
And certaintly not I
Mind is feeling weak
Strap boots to feet
Got em brand new,
Brunswick stew
Over Converse☆ conversation.
Grossly mass produced.
I hate you.
Thats my good pen.
Bought not found.
I like the way it writes
Hate the way I do.
**** me, love you.
Grossly
Paul Donnell May 2017
I thought I kneww, I thought knew I Could escape the escape from this the prismiatic prism that scatters the living litmus of tasty languish. I was electrocuted but did not die I was hyptotized but had no thoughts of mine me oh my my crastle crashing westgate smashing
I weas blown up torn up ****** up I slipped up caught ciggarette hiccups blue smoke the green **** tar ton in my lungs whisper wheeze the crispy fleece of tubular micro breeze
I make no sense to anyone but myself and all this is just play
like,
vaporize the suit and tie dusty wish stuff made from mildew soft hush *** rush wishing wash upon a star starling colors bleed from mars upon my head the rain again again a grain from solar trains a chugga choo of clothes pin gentle wind smell that touch this soft light flutter white sheet skin glow rainbow window crystal glass slow mo tumble punch gut trouble crystal shatter toes and scatter scar sardonic stars breach the shift of rock ah roll ah cokeacola box ah living oh ah mocha coffee candy sweetly
sickly
Motion moving frames repeating the subliminal superluminal transfuckafying metamorphic metaphors leaky brain
348 · May 2017
The Ocean Breathes,
Paul Donnell May 2017
And you are the ocean aren't you?
This ceaseless undulation,
This orb of brine,
That floats in the speckless expanse of my other mind.
Your depths are unfathomable.
A planet of its own to explore.
What lovecraftian horrors do you hide?
What bio-luminescent wonders wander your depths?
Even in the darkest reaches, life pulses.
The transoceanic transmogrification that I partook in allowed me truth.
The salt ate my eyes, the wind burned my flesh, water choked my lungs.
Seagulls picked clean the remains but still I stood.
A ribcage still with breath.
No eyes to guide me,
No lies to see,
The ocean had drowned something already on the fringes of life.
As my bones marched a perceptionless place,
muscle soon formed around my frame.
Then skin,
Then eyes..
I found that I was whole and fresh.
Into still water I looked at myself anew and said
*"Hello."
347 · Jul 2014
Bird brains
Paul Donnell Jul 2014
Imagine if you will.
One thousand, thousand birds,
Flying above,
A deafening cacophony of fluttering wings.
Each bird is a thought from your head.
And Imagine if you will,
You gatta look up,
And try and find and grab a thought,
So you can tell others what you think.

But all you can manage
Is a few feathers.
Half words,
Fragments,
Of what could be a beautifully constructed sentence.

So it doesn't make sense.
Not to you,
Not to who you're talking to.
Desperatly trying to explain what its like when I talk to people.
Its incredibly difficult for me.
By the time I actually catch a thought.
The conversation has moved on to something else.
And its no longer relevant.
344 · Nov 2015
Songs I don't wanna sing.
Paul Donnell Nov 2015
My shoes are still wet from this mornin'
From when I left you standin' in the rain.
You told me to never show my face again,
Well it's a shame that I can't change.

If I could I'd take me a scalpel,
I'd carve my face anew,
But chances are you'd still know me,
By the mud on my shoes.

I know I was born to love,
But that right now's a curse.
For a devil possessed my feet,
It makes me wander Gods green Earth.

Only one way you could keep me 'round,
cut em' off; let my soul spill on the floor.
You could sweep it up into a jar
and hold me as I grow cold.

But we both know I'm better as a memory,
So turn your back and let me go.
Just keep a piece of me in your pocket,
So you remember that I'm not a ghost.

So while my bones shake up on this mountain,
It's yours that I'd rather hold.
So I'll take your rib cage with me,
To feel the echos of your warmth.

And I know that made you hollow,
I'm so **** sorry for what I've done.
I'll chew the calluses off my fingers,
So this song won't never be sung.
344 · Jun 2017
Magic
Paul Donnell Jun 2017
I grew roots from neurons and neurotic radio syncretic synapses. Spilling down from the hole in my crown I was flipped dipped upside down feel the magic earth glow grow gain introspective arkane detective powers that is knowledge of higher hyper ions that vibrate a secret song. Close eyes. Listen. In. Out. Fountain head the trees work with you. Listen.
343 · Oct 2017
Mountain lights
Paul Donnell Oct 2017
Upon a distant mountain,
My head was swept away
By the river of light, floating in the constant cosmic ocean.
My head was swept away,
Back to that magnanimous moment.

A star plucked from the sky and placed in my palm.
Gifted by bright eyes; an earnest lover of life.

The magnitude of it brighter than any moon,
Its fire sank into my skin, spun new fate and sparked the beginning of new friends.

Little caravan birdies, bright songs and struggles. A spectrum of what the best we folk here have to offer and often they surprise me still.

Laughter that could shake the darkest of nights with a vibrancy that could only be described in mushroom trips.
Magic casters with bags of tricks to flick phosphor fire into the eyes of brutal grey matter spooks,
The ones that hide in pillows and in lonely ciggarettes.

Family made from bottles of wine, borrowed feathers; boundless flight.

Lovey wonders, starlight disguised as us,
Ribbions of stellar dust.

When I gaze into the creases of my palm,
I still feel its warmth, still see their light,
Forever grateful for the star plucked,
From that magnanimous night.

I just ****** love my friends.
333 · Aug 2015
W.I.P
Paul Donnell Aug 2015
The media is givin half baked truths and bold faced lies
The children of Israel are terrified of blue skies.
The whole U.S. weeps when one war-hero dies,
How bout a half-mast for the kids we feed to flies.  

Everyone posting bout' equal rights and peace and love,
Did you forget your i-phone 6 was made with blood?
There's a dragon in China and it's forcing slave labor,
With wings made of nets and teeth made of paper.

You're ganna ask me why I'm mad?
Just stop and look around,
The USA is now the NSA
One nation under bigotry
United under hate.
331 · Sep 2017
The porch again
Paul Donnell Sep 2017
This song reminds me of all the fuzzy day dreams.
I'm obsessed with the memories,
Crystals and some christmas lights to your porch upon my bike.
The short hand soliloquy,

"Do you remember me?"

Like it'd ****** matter
the memories are battered
left upon the floor for me
the flowers wilt and birdies scream.

I listen to the moon she always speaks of you
craters on her perfect face foreshadow bombshells placed.

left alone and once again patching up my damaged head with traveling and alcohol...
cigarettes and crystal *****

Shock wave freeze frame
**** the part that eats my brain
under the sun I
strain
sweat
work
ignore
late night short circuit stacking consecutive syllables
song shift
air lift
check box claim one,
when can I
share love.
327 · Dec 2016
Squared
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
My mind is a dumb dolomancer dancing along hypotenuse avoiding the 90 cause the long way around has neato little sideshows distracting from the problem that A plus B might equal C but ya need the square.  A nice tight fit uniform to make out that right angle. I am imaginary numbers.
326 · Dec 2016
Perpetual process
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
As a writer i ruminate over points of time to the point of an obbsessive compulsionary mentality constantly reliving just to get the words right

Putting points of hightend emotion on the subconcious back burner to boil over.

One could say im a funky ****** performing felattio on personafied moments of time.

Writing writing writhing tourterous tools of the blood brain membrane a superfludious soup of runtilated memories key points to track down crack open geonuggets pressure cook it change it shape it cut it craft it
Christ.
My brain is blasted.
322 · May 2014
Mad dog
Paul Donnell May 2014
Insanity is key.
Lose yourself in unnatural bliss.
Sink your teeth into the hands of those
That offer you pity.
319 · Jan 2018
Goodbye
Paul Donnell Jan 2018
My heart is just paper mache, silver strings and georgia clay
A mass that drips and sings sad sad songs

You plucked the strings now out of tune
You said said goodbye we're done its through
So I left it on the tracks and walked away

It gave me wings and clipped them too
the feathers fall and fly to you
Jealous of the bits that float away

And the birdies say hey
gonna peck out your brains
You stupid ******* whatd you think

The crows they ate and now they know, my heart lies hidden and over grown
Maybe theyll take flight and eat that too

My gut it has some words for you but misery will follow suit
Something wicked always comes this way

It hit me like artillery from far away my ears still ring cant find escape in sleep its my dreams

And the birdies say hey gonna peck out your brains, you stupid ******* whatd you think

I break down put it on repeate cross the country break my feet always walking walking walking pain

While the sky was blue I thought of you
Sky turns red and the sun is dead
Skys now black and the moon it laughs

im just wax and Ice alive, candles melt but i survive
**** man,is all I do

But i am strong, or so im told
Not strong enough to face the feelings that i hold
I hold inside
Please hold my hand
I think i need help
Lettin go of the ******

My heart is just paper mache, silver strings and georgia clay
Lost it on the tracks
Not sure its ever comin back.

And the birdies say hey, gonna peck out your brains, you stupid ******* what you think?
This hurts
Paul Donnell May 2017
I was and am an after thought.
A languid sentinel sent by the Eastern Wind.
Let me tell you of spices and horse shoe accolades.
Exotic things that bend the mind.
The wheat grass is sweet..
Here, try this..
The great perimeter of perceptions break a second dawn in midday May.
Why are you running?
Freedom?
Fear?
Those nights on your back while white knuckling both sides of your bed hoping this time you don't float away become more and more frequent.
Well maybe for a reason!
The Wind is an esoteric whisper.
If you can bear to listen and tune to the shimmer shaking of space time making,
Perhaps it would bring new life to you...
Or, perhaps grandiose illusions..
Either way,
I once saw a prophet turn to paper profit.
*Magic tricks to be sure.
311 · Feb 2017
W.I.P Untitled 209
Paul Donnell Feb 2017
I remember fondly,
breathing fire with you,
your soul whispered softly
resonant red tunes.
Your depths had me drowning,
in deep briny blues.
Salt burned my eyes,
I was lost in you.

You told me you had to go.
You had your bait, you got your kicks.
The line was cut loose, the tide ripped me back
Smashed on the rocks,
hooks still in my back.

You deep sea monster,
I was entranced by your light,
I missed your teeth.

You siren, you sea witch,
You lovecraftian horror.

You got what you needed,
The gulls got the remains.

Yet here now I stand,
Stripped of my flesh.
Bones moved by the wind
My ribcage still with breath.
So I built me a tower
Fishbones and stench

To stand on your shore,
White as the moon
To stand on your shore
To watch over you
Because despite all of this.

I'm still in love with you.
307 · Sep 2017
Awkward Star Man
Paul Donnell Sep 2017
I went to the edge I came from the center
wanted to broaden my perceptions
but i came tumblin down
I crashed in a grove
the faires ran from the alien
told stories of a star man

Every word I spoke floated up above
traveled in the leaves never heard by anything
I put together a story that I wanna tell
move my hands and the gnomes start to yell
fear in their eyes as I tell em I love em
I'm always lost in translation
they ran from the alien
told stories of a star man

I donned a cloak made of willow and marsh
tried bein a ghost if im already scary
maybe some one will take pity
im wordless im airy.

Alone and self centered awkward and cratered
the cliffs to high
I shouldn't be here.
307 · Sep 2017
Anchored Tight
Paul Donnell Sep 2017
I got my boots laced up tight and i guess that means i got somewhere to go,
But im nailed to the wall.
Legs bounce and dance eager to get it on but i cant rip myself from this frame.

I decorate this place every weekend a peice of modren art, weird,
Whats it mean to you

The whiskey glazed sunrise hit my bleary eyes and water poured from my face and i tried desperatly to keep it from watering my roots, i dont want to be anchored to this room
I want to float.

Cirrus clouds above could hold my damaged head and the albatross criss cross contrails and sing just for me i might finally sleep.

But i tap my feet, three times, close my eyes and im still here. Mouths motion mourning and id decipher the damage but my codex is broken, the language spoken is one unfamiliar and the toll for imagining somethings wrong is something finally is.

If i said everything's fine could you pick up on that lie?
Maybe drop me a line, static in my ears cotton in my lungs yes im on the porch contimplating bugs.

If i dont make sense its because i just dont.
Its simple,
I might be manic corrosive, eating litmus paper and dreading christmas.
I wish i knew what the **** i was talking about
303 · Dec 2016
Pressure man
Paul Donnell Dec 2016
Whirring spinning constantly working flinging rando retarding  constable to beat the **** out of my  medulla oblongata Oh my god i gatta get it all on paper before the pressure overloads and blows my ******* brains out my ears
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