I wasn't me not today.
I guess all my fears came chasing.
All that I thought I would never have to face again.
The fear of being let down,
Disappointed.
The fear of having to wait for someone to come
And they never show up.

I was hoping for a change in the chapter of my life.
Hopefully it would clear all the doubts I have been having.
You were that spark of hope for a moment,
And when things changed.
I was so disappointed.

I know I had no reason to be angry
I failed to compromise.
And mostly appreciate your values.
Guess at that moment I felt unappreciated.

I don't know what much more to say.
But I deeply apologise.
Not because its a must but because I know I should.
I was just selfish.
And unearthly to be so arrogant.
I surely know that I could have behaved a little better,
But I didn't.

Poetry is too cheap compared to simple words uttered.  
Many that are not suppose to have much meaning.
But yet they make me shiver down to my knees.
They flow in the waves of silence
And become little whispers of love.
With a very pure tone of care.
They make me realise what true friendship means.

Always fluttered.
I hide every blush with a smile.
And it too is always complimented,
And at the back of my mind I keep screaming "Thank you".
Secretly falling in love.
I pray he doesn't find out.
With a lot of pressure I get from the rest of my friends.
I have drove the thoughts out of their minds by telling them 'to forget it'.

I know it would never work.
I would rather have him as a friend.
Yet every time he speaks
His words make me melt uncontrollably.
I keep trying to forget about him,
But his words rapidly play inside my head.
I tell my heart to stop melting,
And my mind to stop thinking.
But it seems not to work.

I adore him in every way possible.
His height,  just so perfect.
His eyes draw me close to his soul.
And everytime I get a chance to hug him,
I pray that he never let's go.
He is a sample of all that I need
Yet I know I should find another lover
But up until then my heart slowly
And secretly beats for him.

You aimed arrows at me,
tore my flesh in to pieces,
and threw me out to be the feast of the night,
but i survived,
i was 9,
i loved you,
but you were so mean, i couldnt even say the word 'dad'.
But now that i am nearly 18,
i have discovered how much an evil man can be easily replaced
by a forgiving heart

If you were human you'd know my needs.
If you were indeed a relative you'd want to see me succeeded.
If you were family you'd have congratulated me for the little I have achieved.

But since you think that you are not human.
And you never act like you are a relative
And you show no interest in family.

But since that you are driven by money,
You just don't care.
You are only a pure hypocrite in the site of those who don't know you.
You have gained yourself the the ability to separate family.
Only because they say "Money is power".
You have found yourself the strength to remain as the only successful soul.

Today I sit back and realise how much you just don't care.
You forgot about your family.
You forgot about us.
You have forgotten about those days we lived across each other and I watched you suffer.

I just won't enclose your name,
I'll only enclose my pain.
And I believe that by the time you read this,
I'll be 100 times better than I am today.
And you will be the one to bow at my table.

I know God will make a way,
For He is no man,
He never goes drunk.
He honours His word than His name.
And I will still put all my trust and confidence in Him.

Yet at the present moment you celebrate.
Seeing me in stagnation
And toiling just to survive.
Continue playing by the rules of wealth and riches.
And one day you will eventually see yourself sinking in poverty.

It is said " Inyembhezi zemizuzu aziweli phansi"
'Tears of a minute do not fall to the ground'
And those are short tears I'll release every night before I fall asleep

Just because you made me a birthday wish didn't mean I owed you one,
Just because I didn't say any wishes didn't mean I dont care,
I just don't want anything associating myself with you.
What need was it for you to spit out greatly bitter insults at me,
Yes I called you crazy
For I have never seen a selfish person such as you.
It is no use pretending I meant nothing to you,
For you would have not smeared your unchanting words on me.

I would love to see you in much more misery than this,
But thank you for you immediately blocked me out of your life

Dear ye that moans in thou heartbreaks,
i wish i could moan in thou sorrows,
but allow me to celebrate in my heart's delight.
For love dwells at its righteous seat.
And i am content.

Dear you.
You have become old,
you can make your own choices,
and no one will be there to stop you.
You have become old
and you have learnt a lot from life.

You have met a lot of people,
different hearts and characters,
and some that you loved a lot,
surely stabbed you at the back.

Some that you believed would never be away from you
were the first to proof what betryal was.
You learnt to love, care and be tolerant.

You learnt how to hate
and dislike,
you took examples from your childhood
and carried them to adolescence,
you vowed never to be like your father
and up until today you are still not like him.

You learnt how to carry you self well in public,
while standing up for yourself.
You led almost every group discussion
and you were always the up-front
person in class,
you forever said your words
and they stuck loud and clear into their hearts.

You became a rebel,
by not doing what the majority did.
You have kept your varginity up until this day,
and no form of drug has ever been diguested into you system.

You stood up against what you knew was wrong,
and you forever made things straight,
you didnt care whatever it took,
even being hated was never at any chance going to stand in your way.

You promiced yourself to be true to your own being,
you kept your diginty,
you left a smile on faces of those who felt secure around you.
You never lost confidence
and you didnt care what people thought about you.

You learnt to love,
accept,
apologise,
and forgive,
and up until this day you have forgave even that sharped knife that cut too deep.

Dear you i wrote this counting down to those few days left before you become a young adult.
I am proud of how you fought through all those trails.
You faced it all,
and no daughts have ever stood in your way.

Yours loving,
most caring,
the only comforter,
the only one that understands you.
The only one to never live your side,
the one that has always felt all the pain when you got hurt.

Yours loving friend...

MYSELF

She is a pretty girl with a bright smile on her face.
Her eyes like clear cristals charm the most cunning hearts.
Her kindness consealed like sheltered pearl on the sea bed.

But look closely at that smile you will see,
A frowning girl with a musk on her face.
In her eyes you will see,
A blazing fire that has consumed her heart.
And like an empty shell,
She is lonely, broken
And in her mind,
She feels she is worth nil the penny that a precious jewel could buy.

That girl is me.
Yet I still fake every moment of my life.
When dawn comes I transform to a beast.
Anger consumes me
And all that I can do is fight it,
Yet too weak,
I simply breaking down in tears.

I am no human by night.
Not a normal one of course.
I am consumed by insomania,
Everything that pops in my head is either evil or just bad.

I am not a girl any more.
Not the one who walks upon the clouds night and dream.
I am that one who fears closing her eyes.
For all the dread that consumes me,  
And takes over my little soul by night.
I tremble in the arms of darkness crying;
"Oh Lord help me!"

I wouldn't have guessed you were so kind.
I wouldn't have guessed you were comforting.
All i saw was a good looking gentleman.

Always eager to see your smile close enough,
Now at the back of my mind it is reflecting like the rays of the sun.
Always eager to hear your voice.
Now am shocked to find out you sing sweet clarinets.

I wouldn't have guessed your honesty
I wouldn't have guessed you cared.
All i saw was a fine walk not much of a meaning behind it.

Always eager to walk besides you
Now i know i can trust you with my all
Always eager to know your name
Now i know that you are just the comforter your name means.

I could have never guessed so well.
Only a dump fairy tale with a sad ending,
Now i wish the whole world knows about my endless dreams,

My shy side safely kept away,
I would have never gained the confidence to say "Hie"
And now that i did my biggest fear is saying "Bye" forever.

now that we share in many similarities,
there is still one thing i pray for dearly
(that you see me worthy to be your 'Ruth')
for in me i see the most finest 'Boaz'

Oh my, oh my,
what a lovely song to sing,
a day does not pass by,
and neither is the love that she has for him.

"My Destiny",
is what we call him,
with the fear of him coming close to us,
he knows we never stop singing.

Destiny is his name,
surely he makes her happy.
And from the look in her eyes you know she loves it when we sing.

Jessica is her name,
you know that she is in love from the way she smiles,
and everytime she passes by you see that sparkle in his eyes.

"My Destiny",
is the song that my friends and i have decided to sing for them everyday.

I have challenged myself for just this night,
but my love for poetry seems to over power me,
i feel the need to write,
even though i am toughtless,
i feel the need to write,
even when i have a lot of things to do,
i feel the need to write.
Just the way i feel the need to feed my soul with righteousness,
i feel the need to write,
everyday when i open up my mind to think,
i feel the need to write,
for i found a wonderful home of poetry (Hello Poetry).
I feel the need to write,
now more than ever,
its level has surely overshadowed my Love for Art and Music.

Like qualified pilots who have lost control of their aircraft.
My strength and confidence is has been drained,
I have non no more.

Like the aircraft falling apart in mid-air.
I feel my self shatter,  
I can feel that am breaking,
I know that i have been splintered
And only love can stir me back into position.

With every piece of debri falling from the sky,
And into the middle of nowhere but the hospitality or open seas.
I am lost, deep in the depths of lonliness.
Sinking fast into the scary world of heartbreaks.

Falling so quick it cannot be stopped the last crush of the rest of the aircraft has been captured by the creatures of the sea and no other witness.
Sudden silence and then whispering waves hidding all the evidence,

I keep faking my smile everyday,
Being welcomed by a pool of tears every night.
The only witness present is my sobbered pillow.

Yet like air controllers,  
Those who care seem to wonder
"What on earth has happened to her sparkle?"
"The most inticing eyes have been powdered with grey"
"Where has she lost her zeal,
Her love for nature is gone,
What happened to all the inspirations that made her write?"
And at the back of my mind i wish somebody would get the answers.

All the answers can only be found by the search rescures,
Maybe somebody out there knows i need help, 
Somebody willing to get all the answers,  i guess...

Somehow i know,
That my heart like a black box lies,  
In the deepest ends of the sea bed.
Unless some one comes and opens it,
I will never really know is wrong with me.

I made this dish with love.
Dedicating my time from my favourite show.
Slicing every piece of that onion carefully into same sizes,
Fighting back the tears that it kept threatening me with,
I made this special dish just for you.
A special Sunday evening meal to make you smile.

But there you through out the entire feast,
Complaining about my choice from the menu.
Nearly losing my appetite I just pretended I couldn't hear.
It would have been nice to know how well my dish was,
But instead all I hear is you mummering about your toothache.

What about a little thank you,
A "hmmm" of some sort.
Now its how much ur tummy aches after eating my food.
I just can't stand it anymore.
What about my effort?
What about my feelings?

She sings day and night
Instead of praying she questions God.
She cries day and night
Instead of seeking for help,
She opens up for others.
She listen to their problems.
And in her mind..."If only you knew that my problem is worse than yours"
But she never walks away.
She always has a smile,
She always keeps a calm voice while saying
"Don't worry everything with be alright"
She sits at night starring at the stars.
She hopes to hear answers,
Over her roof she counts sheep,
The first always pretty.
The fifth singing so fine.
But the more she counts,
The louder the painful screams in her head.
She sits in the crowd wondering,
If anybody relates to her,
Or maybe sees the pain in her.
She sit all year hoping,
But in all that her hopes have been slowly fading.
If only you knew her rough patched
Am sure you would judge her less.

The day so bright,
but i am feeling clouded,
gloomy is the area that surrounds me.
Uncomfortable in my own self,
i feel so confused,
lost,
misunderstood,
afraid,
but i smile through out the day,
proud of my achievments,
but my efforts are not admired,
a day so bright,
i am lost in its darkness,
who am i?
What am i?
I do not know,
but all in all failure strikes

So much shame.
I cannot Explain.
Walking down the streets of Johannesburg.
Hiding my face from the street lights.
My face is so terrifying.
Tears pouring down my eyes.
I cannot believe the disgrace I have just encountered.

My dear brother.
Right in the face of my Pastor,
A few witnesses.
And maybe some I love dearly.
Such bullets of anger I saw you shooting out.
After bragging about you with confidence
And saying "My brother is super awesome"

And there you are showing your babaric awesomeness.
Something I have never seen in my life time.
What happened to your cool and kindness.
That gentle guy I always talked about.
Today yu were just a monster,
And a good one at it,
That's one thing for sure.

What has this alcohol done to you.
Or maybe that **** that makes u flow in another dimension.
I really had a reason to believe something was wrong with you.
But from what I saw from the eyes of the people that walked besides me.
You just a threw a brick at me.

You were the only best thing I could ever talk of.
At least for a moment up until now.
I had to defend,
Yet not knowing the reason why.

Is it really shame or anger.
I still don't know.
But breaks my heart to still think of this and I find it hard for me to even push it aside.
What happened to me being your 'Ntwana'.
That today you decided to throw a boom at me.

Hey player,
i know you are good with your foot game,
passing the ball from one player to the other,
you sought for the right time to shot,
while you, player get me faded away.

Havent you seen who your best keeper is,
she knows a lot about you that you dont realise,
she keeps those little secrets that seem to be harmless.

Hey player its time you become a striker,
you'v been defending the goals from your team-mate for to long,
stop kicking it to your oponents,
i am right here!

A good goal keeper,
i can keep your heart too,
a good team-mate,
i can always be tolerant,
compromising,
and a lot of sharing,
i wont keep the ***** to myself all the time.

Hey player,
be fair,
i know how to kick the ball too,
but i am sure that i will save your heart from falling and getting hurt.

Just as the skies, dark and clouded,
in every breath,
in every heart beat,
my soul pespires pain.
And defeat seems to be pushing me down.

In every thought,
in every memory,
there is nothing blissful,
but the memories of my sad past.

In every sound,
in every word i hear,
it is only words of discourage,
and sounds i wish to condemn.

Yet still,
i sit here all alone,
crowded by the souls that care less,
hoping for the day to be over soon,
i just cant wait to be all alone
in meditation
and drain out all the profound experiences of my desolate heart.

It is not because i have nothing
to say,
it is not because my voice is not
louder,
but i keep quiet because i want
my happiness to stay,
all i can do is watch your words
filling the air like powder.

My silence is not because i am afraid,
neither does it mean i can be
treated like a domestic maid,
but rather i keep quiet to try and keep myself holy,
and watch you quarell like the folly.

My silence is louder than your noise
and your words like shoting bullets bounce back,
for you know it hurts to see me rejoice,
i just pray that your words just get caught up and strain your neck.

Its 7 in the morning,
walking up the stars to my classroom,
from a reflection of a class window,
i see a startling sight,
i am cought up between the moon and the sun,
the sky so clear,
distructed from the beautiful sight by the cold winds,
i realise how much i still need your warm touch.
So cold when am outside
and warm when am inside,
i know i need warmth in my soul,
just like the moon and the sun today,
comforted and lonely is how i feel,
i know i should take one side,
but just like the startling sight at 7am,
i have no side to take,
feeling my body becoming motionless,
without your warmth i know that i wont last this winter.

Love,
Easy to say,
Difficult to explain,
And a challenge to act upon.

What then do i call this?
For at first sight i think i may be in love,
looking at you my heart feels like its shoting out.

To much excitment my body has generated static energy,
And all i need is you to make me sparkle.

A short night it has become,
Wishing to get a more greater glimps at you.
Oh my! Oh my!
Could it be love?

If every dream was possible,
I would make you mine forever.
If every wish was possible,
There would be no opticles between us.
We would live a happy ever after life,
But fairytales are only there to bring solace to such longing hearts as ours.

We would dance under the moon forever,  
Only a break to count the stars,
And wait for a thousand shootings stars to pass by and never dare wish on any.
For our wishes would have come true.
There would be no day, no sun to blaze,  
Only the sweetest nights creating a vehement desire of love.

But this is reality.
And I am wide awake,
Wishing I could stay forever asleep,
And continue this absurd fairytale of mine.

You are only a stranger to me.
And so is your name a mystery,
Always wondering what melodies are uttered by your voice.
Longing to get a clear view from your smile,
That I have many times captured from a far glimpse.

With the question in my head.
Am not sure if you notice me too.
Could all this age phenomenon be real?
Would you direct me to your little brother (at least that's what i think he is) instead?
I hope not.
I won't let that negativity stick.

Such a fine walk.
A gentleman by nature.
I only sense some unknown feelings of love...
Certain kind of love...
The unconditional sort...
One that you never get to find.
A certain nature so welcoming,
In such a way that i am willing to adventure into.

I tend to hope,
Awaiting and yet Praying,
That all the thoughts in your head too,
Are just as similar as mine.
And together I believe,
We could wonder into a real world of fairy tales.

But how could such love be possible?
In a world of cruelty,
Pain and betrayals.
Broken promises and false hopes.
Lies and deceits.
In a world were a little girl like me can as well be abandoned by her father.

Dear God,
Help me,
I don't know what I am feeling,
And I hope it ends soon.

Nolwazi J Mabilisi®

June 1 was the day that marked the end to you and I.
But now that it is June 2,
I realised that i will be all alone this winter,
And when the cold front approches on June 3,
i will try and wrap myself with my webby blanket,
sip on to the last coffee that i have,
and hope for a better tomorrow.
While still searching for my heart to keep me warm,
even though the sun's rays still penetrate onto my skills,
i know that i will still freeze to death.

How could i ever let you in,
when you walked away with the key to my heart?
How could i ever love
when you left with my heart?
Tell me, how?

How could i ever smile
when you left me weeping?
How could i ever be happy
when you left me in doldrums.
Tell me, how?

Just like the meciless wind,
pain chases after me.
Just like the loud silence,
i cannot feel my heart beating.
just like the hallow night,
my world is lonely indeed.

Tell me, how could i ever love,
when love is just a "myth" you say?
Tell me, how could the world shine on me,
when my whole world is dark?

Maybe i should stop reading your
  poems
because everytime i do
i always find myself commenting,
being dragged to my past,
and wishing to share my thoughts with you.
It is so hard dealing my heart
wisphering "i miss you too".
Its like a semi earthquake,
vibrating at all time,
and i know that it is
an emotional call
you keep on sticking around,
and i try blocking you off,
but somehow i still hear my heart wispher

The moon has become full
And like a lamp it glows.
The bets have come out to play
And I am still all alone.

After such a long day of thought.
That 3 hours paper felt like forever.
My shoulders still carry the burden.
I  am proud to have made it this far.

I had vowed to myself
Something that has surely been a fairytale.
The moon has become full without my love coming to pass.
The moon pushed us away
And am glad it did.

The moon has become full.
And from its brightness it signifies my new life.
My journey as a scholar has ended.
I might as well begin calling myself
A "jobless graduate" for a while.

As for our love.
Forget it,
I don't need it.

She always knew she loved,
Hating herself for doing it,
She knew she was in love with the wrong person.

He always knew she loved.
Hating himself for not loving her in return.
He always thought he was the wrong person.

Now she is not in love.
And he is.
Now he believes in them.
And she believes nothing of the existence of love.

They know they are in love,
But she had already been hurt in waiting.
And now he feels her pain too.

They could always ease away each other's pain.
But pride in many ways,
Works without thinking,
And I wish they could see it too.

My confusion sinks deep,
every second i find myself roaming in thought,
what best can i describe it,
i do not know, but i know,
my mind says another story,
while the people say another,
and there you are having yours way so different.

Whisper into my ear,
something so straight and meaningful,
something i will love and cherish,
whisper into my ear,
a song that will keep me dancing forever.

I am confused,
i dont know what to think,
they have posioned my mind,
i might be getting the whole story wrong,
please tell me that i am right and they are wrong.

You would rather not say,
for my thoughts are caught in between,
should i love?
must i love you?
do i love you?
will i love you?
Am i in love with you,
please ohh! gracious sir
let me know if you love me.

The first guy:

"I just don't understand you", he keeps on saying.
And with a dreamy mind I keep saying more things.
And that just makes the mystery vanish on thin air.

The second guy:

"I somehow understand your situation", he always says.
And with more words to emphasis on my problem,
It always seems like it is too close for him to solving it.

Yet together they become one,
samTev they call themselves.
Always ready to find solutions,
And work with the tough cases.

My own seems to be hard for them.
Without knowing how to start,
Planning just ends up turning to another game.

Sure right they are good,
At spoiling my mood,
Yet making me at ease.
They know how to drive me crazy,
And yet I still remain in control.

They are just two loving friends that always want to see me happy.
Knowing how to comfort me,
And wishing we never departed from one another.

Surely they make me have a lot of enemies,
But I know that there is never a way they could ever become my nemesis.

Sunday I said "Am done"
Yesterday I was obscure
Today I screamed "To hell with!"
But here I am again stumbling in my thoughts.
The loud scream in my head (your name).
When will all of this finally be over?when in the first place there was never a beginning.
I kept my love,
And you were open with your future.
At least in it there is space you left for love,
But to whom will that love be shared with?
That's the thing that crushes me the most.
Sunday I chose to let go,
But yesterday I found myself tortured.
Today I said I don't need you to be happy.
But here I am wondering,
'Is God really going to let it slip away just like that?'
I guess I will have to play along to God's plan until I know its settled.

if only i could i would open up to the world, let everybody know that i care, but my hands are short i cannot wrap myself around them. If only i could i would let the whole world know that i love them for my Jesus lives.

He is not a lover
but a brother
the one i found in Christ

he is a friend
so inspiring
only i can understand

you claim his mine
but no he is not
its just too much of what we have in common

he is "Cool"
and i am cold
but he know how to keep me warm

a big heart
so strong and powerful
he knows how to protect that fregile me

team spirit is what he carries
while you are the human crisis
he know how to make me let go of that anger you cause.

He is not a lover
his a friend
the one i found in Christ

much of a lady's man
a caring heart so pure
he is just one unique soul i know

comforting in distress
never lets me drawn in doldrums
he always seem to keep me smiling

his not a lover
but a brother
the one i found in Christ

so much of your suspicions
better should they be locked away
before your thoughts poision my mind

It was you i had sworn to love,
you that i forever cared for,
thinking of you brought a smile on my face.
It was you that i had forever thought you'd be my lover.

Now you are a rap addict,
rushing to the studio everyday,
your priority is to hit the jackpot in the music industry,
your dressing has changed,
and so have your mantality and speech.

I loved that angelic you,
but since you never realised,
you pushed me away till i am where i am today,
i promice to be still your friend,
but not the lover you need,
youv gone for the looks that most girls admire,
am sure it will win you a dozen of them.

I am too boring,
yet you too noisy,
angelic never suited you anyway since all you ever wanted to do was fit in.

Counting down to the days when the moon will become full,
as i look at it from where i sit,
over the dancing trees.
I feel the wind wisphering to my ears,
and the birds sing their last song before they go to sleep.

Waiting for my little town to become dark and the stars to golw.
i have to run away and go to a place unknown.
Where i will be close to nature,
and no human creature to disturb.

I will go and sit under the stars,
counting down to the day i may become happy,
and maybe i might find a shoting star to wish upon.
And my tiny wishes may become true.

I am a dream keeper,
not a dream destroyer,
surely i wish you all the best,
life is a journey,
eventually you will reach your fate,

i am a dream keeper,
i kept on hoping for a better future for us,
yet you destroyed my dreams with your new lifestyle.

You are a dreamer,
and i destroyed your dream of us,
the moment i walked away,
surely i wish you all the best.
I wouldnt stop you from what you want to do,

your passion for rap is what you chose,
while my passion for writing is what i grew up with.

We met as strangers with different characters,
tought each other new ways.
But when you chose your new lifestyle i surely couldnt support it,
you knew me as a writer from the very moment.

Yet i am not against you,
neither the love that we once had.
I am a dream keeper,
willing to keep you dream
and hoping it comes true.
It is your passion,
and the life that you chose,
wishing you all the best in all ways possible.

What is bitter,
is the truth.
What is relish is lies.
Yes the truth hurts,
but what happened to comfort.

Making me feel like a stupid.
Feeling like am talking to a concrete wall
look at me trying my best to ease the pain.
But look at you rejecting me,
like i am a stranger.

You left me with open wounds
but i learnt to forgive,
a slight opinion sliping out of my mind,
you hated my words for good,
why cant you hate me
not what i said.

My side of the story is simple,
you now know how much i suffered in the pain you cuased
i learnt to forgive but you didnt
i humbled myself
but what about you.

You where committed
but from a change in the hands of the clock
why are you so willing to condemn me?

He sang songs of love ,
little by little i fell in love with them,
he thought it was him that i loved,
and he was surely convinced.

He told stories of his youth,
so daring and fascinating,
little by little they drew me closer,
he tough it was him that i wanted close,
and he was surely convinced.

He looked so funny,
and everytime i would laugh when i saw him,
he thought it was him that made me laugh,
and he was surely convinced.

He was so mean he made me cry,
he never thought he could have ever been the one to make me cry,
but he was the one, and i am convinced.

Your presences is like the brightness of the sun,
The joy of feeling it's rays after a cloudy day.
You melt away the cold in me.
And your warmth embraces my whole being.

In the darkness you are like the moon.
Your light brightens the atmosphere and gives me comfort.
Like the twinkling of the stars,
I can never count the good you have done for me,
Nor can I measures my love for you.

You are like the quiet night,
So peaceful the kid in me comes out to play.
The thought for adventure rushes through my vains.

Like the sun rise
You you losen my grumpy face,
And leave me with an undeniable smile.
Like the sunset, that I wish may never pass
You are the moment I just wish to live forever.

I love you

I found someone else
to share my ideas with,
he is someone who listens
to all the stories that were meant
to be yours.
He comforts me,
and never teaches me the wrath
you tought me.
He has become special to me,
all the gifts that were meant to be
yours are now his.

You are my father,
Yes i admit that,
But you were never there
And he is.
Wishing for you to see my sucess
after all those curses that you
threw at me,
While he encourages me everyday.

He is the new father that i have,
Special to me,
And has filled that hallow space,
that was open for years.
Happy Father's Day
to the man that has taken me
to be his own daughter,
when you dear Dad
forsaked me

I wish to hold you tight,
and let my whole world feel brand new,
but i wouldnt let you go running with a fright,
because all i want around me is you.

"So do you still write?"
A close friend asked.
"Not so much, I haven't had anything to write"

She secretly wrote in black and white.
Typed, and edited her work.
But it was so unbearable to share,
She held all her present miseries she wanted left unsaid.

Even till this day they still stay in her secret place.
For those feeling and moments are hers alone  to keep,
And so many of them for her to burn.

She has been so broken,
That little girl inside of me.
She couldn't leap for joy no more,
Her worst burden was faking a smile.

The pages to her books, socked with tears.
And her passwords, changed every week.
She has been hiding this part of her from the rest of the world.
Avoiding her reflection,
But she couldn't do it for long.

Accidentally looking at that splintered ******* the mirror she had been avoiding all along,
she begun to speak;
"Okay, this has been going on for too long,
You are not broken,
You are not weak, you can go beyond the odds.
You are deserving,
How do you expect to keep helping others if you can't help yourself?
Wipe away your tears,
And put a smile on your face,
For you are surely the best,
The most amazing,
And the world needs you,
Be strong for them, and for yourself too.
You don't need a man to make you happy,
Neither to complete you.
You don't need comfort from nobody,
God is your comforter,
God is your love,
You are beautiful and wonderfully made.
God did not make you for this dismay.
He called you the light of the world,
It is time to arise, before your light goes up,
Stir up that gift before it is too late,
You are more than a conquerer,
So why do you cry?..."

She went on and on.
Though it at first felt so awkward,
She begun to feeling change;

The burdens on her shoulders melting.
The walls over her heart breaking.
She begun to see those tears drying,
Her voice a little more clear.
She begun to see that spark in her eyes.
She was breathing again.

And finally,
She saw her beautiful smile again.
And She knew that, that little powerless girl in her,
Had finally transformed to a woman.

You gave me a thousand reasons why,
You made it a mandate that I be with you.
You showed patience and care,
How Could not have believed you.

You painted a perfect picture of tomorrow,
A priceless canvas that would draw so many stares,
I fell for it, And I got glue.
How did I not see that it was all just an illusion.

You drew the curtain, and I saw the dark reality
Although you remembered every word I said,
You never tried to know me,
You 'crammed' your way into me,
Just so you could forget when you had me.

Surely the joke is on me,
You got me so fooled,
You made me think this was a happy ever after,
Clearly that kind of love only happens in fairytales.

the days of our childhood are gone,
where one was at ease.
we cared less about our looks, our dress codes and how our friends were,
but now the story is different.
the pure souls were buried with our childhood days.
and now what we see is a world we want to explore.