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You deceive,
I grieve,
I moan in vain,
I cry in pain.
I loved too much,
I gave too much,
I trusted too much.
You  stole my heart,
Ate the whole ****,
Then you discarded it,
Trampled on it,
Notched it with razors of lies,
Bloated it with feelings of woeful cries.
You cheated,
You shared a bed with someone else in heat,
You shreded my heart into million pieces,
Each piece worth billion kisses,
If I continue to weep,
Sorrow and pain won't let me sleep.
For you my heart was a piece of paper,
For me you are the  end of my chapter,
Adieu,the game is over.
Surely I have grown a little.
But the narrative remains the same.
And I am at least glad that I was aware,
Aware of reality and that not every dream comes to pass

I finally stopped believing in farytales.
And I find my solace in the night sky.
My dancing have become terrible.
While in my solitude I stare at the sky,
I constantly see shooting stars,
Surprisingly my wish has stopped being you.
Any love?...
"Love"... What a word.

Frankly I my dreams are as terrible as my thoughts,
And so skipping sleep creates some form of comfort.
It is much a punishment as closing my eyes.
But then again that's the only way I can keep you from my thoughts.

I'v gotten too close to you.
I know you name,
Yes! your voice is a melody, you've sang to me!
Your eyes... Brighter than your smile.
I've gotten too close to you.

All of my curiosities have been answered.
Need I say more?
It's been six years and you still refuse to see me as anything more than a child.
We are four years apart what's your possession with want to be old?
I never bothered to find out your brother's age,
But I bet you don't call him son.

Well I was right,
You are indeed a gentleman by nature.
Passionate, loving and caring.
The thick barrier between me and the world,
To you is a transparent and turns to a thin **** of ice,
It melts away in your presence,
And everything I try to hide even with a smile you see.
It's been six years already and I still haven't met any soul like yours.
It haunts me to know that there is someone who knows me too well.

It was good to hope,
Yet I know I shouldn't have.
I took the first step,
And I know so we'll that everything was my fault.
I should have let go of that fairytale,
Yes I know!
I was in denial.

Love...what love
Maybe it's real and possible for some lucky people like you to find it.
While someone like me continues to drown in it's cruelty.
It's pains and betrayals.
It's broken promises and false hopes.

You said girls were the most vulnerable,
Is this what you were referring too./?

Dear God,
I finally took a step back.
I've raise my flag and chose to walk away.
Today marks 6 years and surely life must go on.
In the rain my tears are concealed.
And so are my screams when the thunder roars.
I feel my pillow flooding,
And I slowly lose my breath.

Just as much as you eagerly wait for the rainbow.
For that sun to shimmer through from the sky.
That's how much I eagerly pray for my pain to disappear.
For my "bright smile to be real".

You mutter about the rain,
While I plead for my pain.
We are not the same.
If I wear to leave a note, it would be a book itself.
NOLWAZI JOUBERT Aug 2021
I have made promises to myself and broke them.
How then do expect to have another being make promises to me and keep them?
  I know the pain,
And I've broke the chain.
And there is no way to fix it.
NOLWAZI JOUBERT Jun 2021
I have been in love a countless times before,
Maybe I thought it was love,
Because that is what I believed love to be.
Somehow things are now different,
A giddy and jouvile heart
Is fluttered by the thought of you,
My eyes shimmer even in darkness,
At the sight of the man standing at a distance,
He is the spotlight,
And I can feel the heat on my checks,
I am at awe,
I can't get hold of myself,

Keeping to his promises,
I find myself  awaken by trust
He shares his chest of treasure,
And I know that this is beyond special.

I can feel some energy hovering around me,
It's protection,
No it's love,...
Love that has gotten the bit of me,
and without it i have no home.

It is difficult to explain it,
To try and pour it all out,
But I can let you into my heart,...
Feel my heart,
Looking my eyes,
Take a tour inside my head,
Them maybe you will understand.

I found a home...
Home is Love
NOLWAZI JOUBERT Dec 2020
Should I tell him I miss him? Or should I lay in bed and pretend his besides me?
If i told him I missed him he would say am lying.
And if I told him i loved him...
God only knows if it's true.
Today the soound of his heart beat plays in my chest.
His silly giddy moments flicker in my mind.
I can feel him,
Not sure if I should say "His here, right besides me"
I suppose it's just me being will again.

Question is, does he feel this way when he thinks of me too?
To the one who I seem to love even more when ever I try to hate him.
NOLWAZI JOUBERT Oct 2020
This time I have nothing to burn,
Nothing to throw away,
But I have every sensation,
And every essence to wash away.
Leaving no room for an aura of euphoria,
To evoke the moments that have now been defunct.
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