the days of our childhood are gone,
where one was at ease.
we cared less about our looks, our dress codes and how our friends were,
but now the story is different.
the pure souls were buried with our childhood days.
and now what we see is a world we want to explore.

To you big eye overlooking my window,
i couldnt go to sleep without saying good night,
and to you precious candles clowing in the dark,
i couldnt go to sleep without making my wish on you.
Before night's hallicination hypnotise me,
i will use my last energy to wish all you creatures of the earth a wonderful night,
as i shut my eyes and follow the melodious sounds of my bed calling me.

Believing to have a friend,
she warns you from someone else,
but later on you realise that,
that someone is now the new best friend.
I pretend all is well,
fake a smile,
creak a joke or two,
laugh louder than they do,
but inside my heart bleeds in betrayal.

Oh my, oh my!
The reflection of the past flickering in my mind like the lightening strike.
Look at me smiling,
surely it has been a long time.

Oh my, oh my!
Memories of the past here to stay,
a lot of weeping thinking of those long gone,
and missing all those moment of my childhood days.

Now i think of what could be,
now i think of my future, wiping away my past every time something new happens.

Memories here to stay but not for long when life still goes on

saw death knock on my door,
I fought the beast,
But not for my life.
I fought just to prove I cannot be easily defeated.
Death knock on my door and I let the door loose.
If anything was scary,
It's the fact that I couldn't care less if I lived or died.
I fought the monster just to prove my strength,
I still have it in me.
Although this time around I had to beg it to come out.
I saw death knock on my door.
And I didn't flee,
I'm now too weak for these contests,
And if I had lost that would still have been fine.
Frankly I couldn't careless.

20 minutes before 8pm
walking in the dark path way of my home,
up ahead i saw the open sky,
without any alarm,
there appeared ahead of me
something so astonishing,
my eyes poped out.

I felt my mouth dropping to my feet,
it was a sight i have awaited for, for 2 years,
today the clouds decided to be fair
and clear up just a little bit.

And there i was standing in my black coat,
staring at the meteor-shower,
so fast in the blink of an eye.
Like fire works the sparks meltied away so fast
The sky left with its traces,
my excitement was untamed.

I just wish i was able to share this sight with you,
yet i felt your presence...
It would have been great to see you smile back at me...

Your marriage crisis has been affecting my poems,
i get you commenting
with some sense of hatred.
I wouldnt feel so uncomfortable
if i knew you,
and if i had anything to do with
your marriage.

This little girl has become so vulnerable,
posting every poem with a little
prayer,
that you dont wreck it
and make it one of your rough drafts.

Dear Mrs JC
i would rather appreciate you
staying away from my poems.
And not getting any like
or comment at all,
than having your name written all over them.

Now i am happy,
but i forgot to make my wish.
A shoting star passing by,
all i needed was happiness,
and surely i have found it.
All i wanted to do was share my beautiful sight.
Calling unto my naphew,
the only person there to share with.
What a lovely sight it was,
but i just forgot to make my wish

His my KING
And am the Princess.
Dwelling under his guidance,
He has prepared me a Prince.
And up until his release,
In patience I will wait.
Without any doubts and heartbreaks,
I know that real love endures long.

Who could have known for sure that it would come to this.
From longing for love I knew I wouldn't get,
To denying myself the chance to be loved by another.

Then in the silence of the night,
Between the lines of speech and poetry.
Between the lines of speech and sound.
This time I saw him differently.

Passionate being,
But broken here and there,
His mind so broad,
But his heart not trusting.

Could he give in his whole?
Or maybe am just like the rest of his past?

My mind heart falling deeper,
But my mind reminding me of a lover I never had.
"What if he finally changes his mind?
What if he opens up?"

Surely I feared that,
But now I understand when people say
"God's timing is the best"
A lesson learnt so well,
That patience often pays.

I sit still thinking about him,
While I still wonder what on earth ever dared to happen.
How on earth did we come to this,
How did we seem to be just a match made in heaven,
And how well have I forgotten about my fairy night.

All I think about you,
By my side and your breath brushing through me face,
Your warm magical hug that makes my stomach boil.
All that beauty so precious.
And a passion to love so vehement

One more!
Just one more will not hurt,
a little touch of the lips before you say goodbye,
a little wisper in my ear, just before you say " i love you"

one more!
A little touch of wine on my tounge, filling my glass again.
a little singing and tapping,
before you say its enough.

One more!
Just one more!
All i need is just one joke to make me laugh before i fall asleep.

I wonder around faking a smile
pretending am alright,
people see me and believe all is well when i laugh.
They make jokes that seem not to have an impact on me
as much as you do.

A little hope,
a little smile,
a little laughter, that makes it all worth it is what you are to me.
A little  from the heart is all i could ever share with you,

like you name says,
i believe you have conquered my heart.
You meant nothing few days ago,
but now a little from the heart
makes me see how much i love you.

Broken is my little heart,                        Dried out is the tears from my eyes,    Loneliness is what i feel right now,     Sitting alone, staring outside the window, and thinking to myself and saying, "surely you broke my heart"     i fake a smile, sing a little song,            But i know that deeply inside,              That surely you broke my heart.          You and i could never be the same again, this lost time can never be replaced. Now i pretend as if you never exist.

it has only been 17 years,                      and i am counting to the 18th one,     but my life seems like it has been there forever.                                                                                                          A journey not to be forgetten,             seeing dead bodies everywhere,         people crying, bodies and houses burning.                                      Hearing sreams, insults and guns firing everywhere,                                  all that i have done is to care more about the lifes of peple i dont know,     and forgetting about my life.              My life is one i would love to care about,                       for it lacks a room of happiness

I have been in love a countless times before,
Maybe I thought it was love,
Because that is what I believed love to be.
Somehow things are now different,
A giddy and jouvile heart
Is fluttered by the thought of you,
My eyes shimmer even in darkness,
At the sight of the man standing at a distance,
He is the spotlight,
And I can feel the heat on my checks,
I am at awe,
I can't get hold of myself,

Keeping to his promises,
I find myself  awaken by trust
He shares his chest of treasure,
And I know that this is beyond special.

I can feel some energy hovering around me,
It's protection,
No it's love,...
Love that has gotten the bit of me,
and without it i have no home.

It is difficult to explain it,
To try and pour it all out,
But I can let you into my heart,...
Feel my heart,
Looking my eyes,
Take a tour inside my head,
Them maybe you will understand.

I found a home...
Home is Love

It must have been his eyes...
Maybe his voice,
Maybe it's his beauty that took me by surprise.
And kept me longing for his touch.

From the empty hallway the light to his room felt like security.
His voice from a distance sounded like comfort.
It made me want to draw closer.

Then on unexpected night I felt his touch,
So tender, that feeling, I will forever cherish.
I still feel it everytime I think of it.
I wanted all of him.
I want him still, but now he feels so far away.

I can't hear his voice anymore,
And the at the door has been replaced by another.
Maybe I should have held his body closer when he spasmed in his sleep.
Maybe I should have told him that "it's okay, you are okay, you will be okay"
Maybe, just maybe I could have made him feel better.

I wish I knew how to tell him that even if he doesn't say a word.
I understand,
And that I want to be his comfort.
I know I can't say much to him right now.
But I want him to be better,
To be happy.

If I was given the chance.
Maybe, just maybe I could cuddle of his worries away.

In the rain my tears are concealed.
And so are my screams when the thunder roars.
I feel my pillow flooding,
And I slowly lose my breath.

Just as much as you eagerly wait for the rainbow.
For that sun to shimmer through from the sky.
That's how much I eagerly pray for my pain to disappear.
For my "bright smile to be real".

You mutter about the rain,
While I plead for my pain.
We are not the same.

Should I tell him I miss him? Or should I lay in bed and pretend his besides me?
If i told him I missed him he would say am lying.
And if I told him i loved him...
God only knows if it's true.
Today the soound of his heart beat plays in my chest.
His silly giddy moments flicker in my mind.
I can feel him,
Not sure if I should say "His here, right besides me"
I suppose it's just me being will again.

Question is, does he feel this way when he thinks of me too?

Surely I have grown a little.
But the narrative remains the same.
And I am at least glad that I was aware,
Aware of reality and that not every dream comes to pass

I finally stopped believing in farytales.
And I find my solace in the night sky.
My dancing have become terrible.
While in my solitude I stare at the sky,
I constantly see shooting stars,
Surprisingly my wish has stopped being you.
Any love?...
"Love"... What a word.

Frankly I my dreams are as terrible as my thoughts,
And so skipping sleep creates some form of comfort.
It is much a punishment as closing my eyes.
But then again that's the only way I can keep you from my thoughts.

I'v gotten too close to you.
I know you name,
Yes! your voice is a melody, you've sang to me!
Your eyes... Brighter than your smile.
I've gotten too close to you.

All of my curiosities have been answered.
Need I say more?
It's been six years and you still refuse to see me as anything more than a child.
We are four years apart what's your possession with want to be old?
I never bothered to find out your brother's age,
But I bet you don't call him son.

Well I was right,
You are indeed a gentleman by nature.
Passionate, loving and caring.
The thick barrier between me and the world,
To you is a transparent and turns to a thin **** of ice,
It melts away in your presence,
And everything I try to hide even with a smile you see.
It's been six years already and I still haven't met any soul like yours.
It haunts me to know that there is someone who knows me too well.

It was good to hope,
Yet I know I shouldn't have.
I took the first step,
And I know so we'll that everything was my fault.
I should have let go of that fairytale,
Yes I know!
I was in denial.

Love...what love
Maybe it's real and possible for some lucky people like you to find it.
While someone like me continues to drown in it's cruelty.
It's pains and betrayals.
It's broken promises and false hopes.

You said girls were the most vulnerable,
Is this what you were referring too./?

Dear God,
I finally took a step back.
I've raise my flag and chose to walk away.
Today marks 6 years and surely life must go on.

It was when I first found myself
So deep in a conversation,
Perhaps without any comas and fullstops.

It was then that I came back to my senses.
It was then when I first noticed
That my subconscious mind was imitating you in my speech,
It was then that I noticed how in your absence a bit of you still lingers.

There and then I was convinced,
Without a doubt that I was in love.

It's not about his mental illness,
Don't get me wrong.
It's about how he used the empathy in me to his advantage,
And assumed abusing my heart would go on forever.
I got tired  of hoping the man I first loved would come back...
because clearly...
He was all just an act.

This time I have nothing to burn,
Nothing to throw away,
But I have every sensation,
And every essence to wash away.
Leaving no room for an aura of euphoria,
To evoke the moments that have now been defunct.

Burdened,
Pained.
At wits end,
Am close to giving up.
Maybe I have already,
but I still have to be strong.
Hold it up together,
I don't know for how long.
Patience faded a long time ago.
But I still hold together.
Not for myself,
Not because I wasn't to,
But because the world requires it to be so.

I miss having someone to glance through my eyes
And right into my soul,
Under the concealing smile,
And know that I am not okay.

I envy the woman you ended up with.
I bet she never needs to shed a tear or stay awake all night.

There is never too dark a poem,
Too dark a mind.
If the thought rages in you.
Let it out...
There is no reason to explain why.

You brought me so close to you.
Showed me how to be loved.
Mesmerized I slowly fell into your arms.
I held on so dearly,
Didn't want to live with the thought of what could have been.
But that I am here now  and you've turned so cold,
I don't even know who you really are any more.