I don't know what to feel.
I'm sad and hurt and wondering if all I can do
Is what I've done today.
Will it happen again next week? Next month?
You've been dancing on the edge of a blade,
Bound to fall over one day,
But which side will you take?

the grass is greener where it is watered, so watch where you sow your seeds
to do so in just any garden, could get them choked out at sprout with ease

For myself, I cannot speak
Only its words seep through clenched teeth
I can feel it,
Crawling its way towards my lungs
Choking me from within
I'm left screaming in the darkness
And this demon does not listen
Alone; caged in my own mind
Forced to watch
As it slowly destroys my life
Separating my corporal form
From the only world I've ever known,
"It's easier this way,
to make your body my new home"
I've become a vessel for the devil
While my soul sits, tormented day and night
There will be no rescue mission,
All hope is lost to me
**I have become the monstrosity

Don't trust me, I am a liar.
I'm the best there ever was!
Don't trust me with your darkest secrets,
Don't trust me with your *****!
I'll ravage and pillage and ruin each one.
I'll **** them and hate them, all in good fun.
Don't trust me, I am a liar.

Don't trust me, I am a  liar.
I could be lying to you right now.
Don't trust me with a word or whisper,
I'm sure to spread them all around.
I'll sell half to the south for bread and wine
A quarter to the east,
Last I'll send to the northmen,
Then, I shall be king.

But don't trust me,  please
For I liar I am known.
I spin stories so gracefully sung.

No one dare question my words be true,
But trust me when I say one thing,
*No one will ever sell the truth to you.

I think I might have given you
The wrong impression
When I told you I like pain..

No one like to be abused
Yet you still treat it like a game.

And you always come out on top,
Whenever you successfully
Pin me down.

You bite me, pull my hair,
Wrap your hands around my throat
Until I choke out loud..

Please, just **** me already..
*It'd hurt less than this

I don't know if I'll ever figure it out..
I don't know if there was ever anything to figure.

My mind is a-buzzing
So many thoughts flitting about
Of friendships, love, and life
Each one begging to be let out

But my mind is a prison
And my fear the warden
My thoughts are the prisoners
But I'm the only victim

My thoughts scream,
Set me free to follow my dreams
My fears reply,
**What dreams? You belong to me

to the girl who still hasn't taken a shower
because it hurts to be clean and still feel so ***** inside

who spends all her money on the things she hates about herself
and wonders why she can't stop

i wonder why i can't stop

I don't think I'm going to be uploading anymore poetry for a while, a long while, possibly forever..
it just seems like whenever I try and write a poem now, I always seem to keep in mind weather the people who read it will like it, or if it will make sense to others, and though those things are important for when I'm older and trying to publish a book of poems, right now I just feel like writing poetry for anyone other than myself. To me, poetry is a way of understanding how I see things, how I feel about things, and how I'm going to deal with things, its very personal, and lately, i haven't been writing with myself in mind, so I just want to take time away and write for myself only. yeah.. not that I think i'll be missed or anything, but you can still message me or whatever, bc I'll still be on the site reading all of your poetry c: okay toodles.

You're good
Almost too good to be true
Yet here you are
In all your glory
Watching me, watching you

what is it that I want from you?
too much, I'd have to say
I know the person that you are
and I know that there's no way
we'd never make it further than this
so why do we keep pretending
what's the point of a half-assed kiss
when inside we know we're ending?

what is it that I want from you?
an epic love story that conquers all
I want us to persevere
and in the end, grow stronger in love
I want you to see my worth
and always build me up
I want you to respect my words
and stop when I say enough
I want to be the only one that catches your eye
I want us to trust in each other
never doubting, never lie
I want you to show me you love me
run your fingers through my hair
help me fall asleep when too I'm scared
hold me when I'm stressing
kiss me when I'm dressing
and make me feel amazing every other day

what is it that I want from you?
too much, I'd have to say.

I feel so*  *******  torn
*What am I even doing anymore?

i can cut you out
like a cancer
consuming my heart

but that doesn't mean
i'll forget you
and everything you are

and even when I love you
I still hate you
for what you did to me

or do I just hate myself
for never being able to let it go

it was always the way you met my eyes
restlessly flitting from left to right
never sitting
still, in constant flight
you were the symbol of freedom
to me, but a soul in need of release
and when our eyes met
I knew what that meant
-- freedom from me

if I ever did stop writing,
  I hope it's because I'm already dead

lets cause a little trouble
you make me feel so weak
and I bet you kiss your knuckles
right before they touch my cheek

but I've got my mind
made up this time
'cause there's a menace in my bed
can you see his silhouette
can you see his silhouette
can you see his silhouette

and I've got my mind
made up this time
go on and light a cigarette
set a fire in my head
set a fire in my head
tonight

i taste ashes on my tongue
my will drained like wine
on a wednsday night

i still feel so numb
my motivation dies like vines
left to wither with no light

Don't trust me, I am a liar.
I'm the best there ever was!
Don't trust me with your darkest secrets,
Don't trust me with your *****!
I'll ravage and pillage and ruin each one.
I'll **** them and hate them, all in good fun.
Don't trust me, I am a liar.

Don't trust me, I am a  liar.
I could be lying to you right now.
Don't trust me with a word or whisper,
I'm sure to spread them all around.
I'll sell half to the south for bread and wine
A quarter to the east,
Last I'll send to the northmen,
Then, I shall be king.

But don't trust me,  please
For I liar I am known.
I spin stories so gracefully sung.
No one dare question my words be true,
But trust me when I say one thing,
No one will ever sell the truth to you.

Death would be welcoming
In this melancholy mood
Anything more enticing
Than a life filled with gloom

i ******* miss him.

and when I use to write about
falling in love with you,
how it happened too fast and hard
how it left me open and exposed
what it felt like, that warmth in the cold
you were just so good, a taste
of something raw and real
and so bad for me but I didn't care
because when I use to write about
falling in love with you,
I didn't know how ****** up we were
but we learned

"Do you really love me?"

To put it simply,  yes

**** all the years spent wasting my time
Playing childish games always ending with lies
Because I'm so sick of this crap you call friendship--
What kind of best friend makes another feel like ****?

*Eat ****, horse faced *******!

Tea drinkers think it's revolting;
Coffee lovers call me a fake.
Though in my own eyes, nothing is better
Than a french vanilla, *God, I love that **** drink!

hello again, my fateful friend,
your visit is alarming

your smile still as charming

therapist wasn't for me
feel like screaming in this posh upper class neighborhood
talk to me like a human not a skittish animal on the attack
bought a pretty umbrella to feel better

with one hand you paint me
with the other, you hold
in your hand a wine glass
-- a sweet vintage from old

and later, as paint dries
you hold me instead,
both hands on my hips
-- the paint is all that's left

Steal my breath
and heal my heart

From you, my love
I will not part

My life is just one big waiting game,*
*I'm either waiting on him, or I'm waiting on her
I'm waiting to grow older
And I'm waiting to get old
I'm waiting to finally find out
What's on the other side
I'm waiting ever so patiently
For my turn to die
I'm waiting for the everlasting darkness
Or for God to **** me to hell
There's really no difference
I'm waiting all the same

On my own
I taught myself to believe
In everyone but myself
Until the time came I had
No choice but to see the truth
I was worthy, too

On my own
I fought to live through days
I never imagined I could escape
Thought I'd be trapped there
Reliving all the mistakes that
Led to those moments

that moment when you realize
too many of your poems
share the same title
because you are
unoriginal
af