So, that was the year that's been,
I reminisce on the vast global scene,
Somehow we dance on an inferno, it seems,
I hope I don't end up writing an epitaph,
An elegy of youth's futile autograph,
Is it to be conscription, perhaps,
Or overseas deployment for chicks and chaps?
Yes, we welcome in 2017,
With closure on the year that's been.......

Boy meets girl,
Gives her a whirl,
Log on, take selfie,
Update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Had breakfast, look!
Update fakebook,
Went to the gym, look!
Update fakebook,
Now we're gym junkies,
Upload selfies,
Update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Now we're wed,
Enough said,
Update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Shall I kiss the bride?
Not fair, fat and wide!
First, update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Now we've got kids,
Marriage on the skids,
Oh, man, that's bad,
Divorce selfies, too sad,
Update your fakebook,
Thumbs down, look!
Our 21st Century,
Celluloid selfies..........

Does anyone belong in this age?
The 21st Century hi-tech stage,
Teaching old dogs new tricks,
All technology's deep magic,
Hey, juniors, cut us some slack,
How did we pass high school's flack?
We had no internet to hack,
Not one calculator in our backpacks!
We had to use our brains for Maths.....
Now it's the 21st Century age,
We're all hi-tech citizens on this stage..........

This is a verse, not a song,
Let's gaze on the face of Agamemnon,
For ten years, he had stayed away,
Finally, he arrived home one day,
Yes, away to Troy he'd roamed,
The warrior king made it home,
But, he had been playing away,
His Queenie had a bad hair day,
Her axe did have a double blade,
As in her spa, she made him lay,
She drugged his wine, a loving cup,
Then proceeded to chop him up!
Off with his feet, for roaming so far,
Queenie really messed up her spa,
Off with his cheating hands,
He brought home  **'s from foreign lands,
Off with his attachments,
You can guess what that meant,
Shoved them in his mouth,
as his head went south,
"Feed him to the swine!
It's pig feeding time!"
She yelled at the serfs!
"That cheating dud got his desserts!"
Queenie was having a bad hair day,
Warrior king had been playing away,
But, Queenie had a toyboy anyway,
She always kept smiling,
Looked for the silver lining,
Queenie's wealth was a'piling,
She was a keeper,
Old king now a sleeper,
Queen kept the kids, gold and slaves,
She did get hers one day,
Yes, Queenie kept the lot,
Or was it all a plot?
Queenie's bad hair day,
Warrior king had been playing away,
This is verse, not a song,
Let's gaze at the face of Agamemnon.

Does time speed up as we age?
I gaze back at the end of the day,
To- do- lists are very helpful, I guess,
But very boring, I must suggest,
As kids we used to anticipate,
Time dragged on, it was never too late,
Then, a bend in time,
It's already supper time!

What makes the world a better place?
Okay, healing hands of grace,
And people with a smiling face,
Maybe, if you want to go that way,
A humble community of Faith,
A simple life, no extras today,
A helping hand along the way,
A life of harmony and grace,
"No hard feelings" and walk away,
Each one of us today,
Can make our world a better place!

If you could choose a superpower,
With what virtues would you be showered?
I would like to be balm to folk,
Lighten disputes with silly jokes,
No need for dumb arguments any day,
Smiling is permitted, let's say,
If I could choose a superpower,
Peace on Earth I would shower.......

Here is total nonsense in a verse,
It's about the scourge of the burbs,
A silly tale of Lady Bonkerley,
A femme always dressed in Regency,
Draping clothes her poseur finery,
And her boyfriend, a bossy bully,
They pranced around so merrily,
But wait, they were mere fictionaries,
I guess that's why we're writers, you and me,
It's all in our  heads, you see,
Lady Bonkerley was only imaginary!

A sweet song to be heard,
The garden's morning blackbird,
Hear its cheery chirps,
Maybe blackbirds hit the turps!
Why on Earth are they so chirpy?
It's 5am! Dirges are more worthy!

Expressions of the abstract,
Thoughts we can't retract,
Exquisite solar towers
of our mindful powers,
Into the glass ceiling,
Collectives of ideas and feelings,
Whence these expressions of abstract?
Thoughts we can't retract......

A candle of reflection,
Blessing light of perfection,
Let's pray for global healing,
For any conditions plebs are feeling,
Divine light peace the same,
Relief from life's frantic games,
This, our candle of reflection,
Blessing light of perfection......

Here's a tale of my childhood toy,
A hand knitted ******* boy,
His name was Little Black *****,
Politically incorrect, you know,
Thought police would have fun,
For me, he was toy number one,
But then,  I gave him away,
A gift of love, one day,
For my little cousin, a gift,
Gollies are now cool, get my drift?
When old things become new again, eh!
Maybe I'll knit a ******* today!!

A message to the beloved,
Divinity streams from above,
He holds our hand like a glove,
His heart with a love forever young,
As another Christmas Day has begun,
He shall never grow old,
As we on Earth He enfolds,
Different love, a love divine,
Be blessed, beloved, for all time,
Merry Christmas to yours and mine!

I met a check-out chick the other day,
I asked how was her New Year's Day, okay,
She said she had a dreadful New Year's Day.
Her boyfriend battling bushfires with the CFA,
He had never been so far away,
What on earth could I say?
Our firies are like superheroes today,
Right there with Superman, okay?
Would you give them a salary or lunch money? Hey,
They don't do it for the money, okay?
Well, give them all a gold medal,  I say,
When these bushfires are gone one day,
Chats about our firies everywhere these days!

Here  I am, with a  set of Lego from my two mummies,
I am a new Time Lord for dummies,
Look, I made a mysterious hobo,
Lurking on the dark side of Lego,
Why grow up? I really don't know........

Arise in the pre-dawn hush,
Everything moves, ask the toilet brush,
Then a morning offering to God,
On with the routine I do plod,
I think to rise and smile,
And send each one positive vibes,
To my cyber buddies across the miles,
To my pen friends in the USA,
Hope you dodge hurricanes today,
Then it is breakfast time,
Compare our statins in a rhyme,
I have learnt this yet, you see,
Aging is really not for wussies!

This is a day in the life,
No need to accept strife,
A day at Dullton villa,
Resting my head on a pillow,
It's a summer holiday,
The slow suburban way,
Let's hope it's a slow news day,
The Dullton villa holiday......

We're all in life's long race,
Pondering on a distant place,
Where we are spiritual beings,
Our souls free beyond dreaming,
No, we can't take stuff beyond,
Immaterial thoughts to wonder on,
Do you believe in the afterlife?
Why wait for peace, no strife?
If we all had a Peace day today,
The world could unite this way,
A distant place, how far away?

Yes, it's nearly that's time of year,
Australia Day soon, my dears,
Patriotism in the right place,
Smiles on the Aussies' face,
We all come from the human race,
No need for such paranoia,
Racists are sent to annoy ya!
Let's unite for one day of the year,
Advancing Australia, my dears!

I went to a local church,
Sat in a pew, like a perch,
But I pondered,
Gazing at folk a'yonder,
Where are all the kids?
Don't you know what Jesus did?
How to bring them to a church,
To sit and listen, on their perch,
Maybe a Gospel in graphics,
A hitech savvy for kids,
To meet a forever friend,
With a love that has no end,
What is the future of the church?
I ponder as I sit here on my perch.

(Sing along to tune of 'Strangers in the Night!"
TUMMIES IN THE NIGHT...
Tummies in the night, is this a romance,
Tummies in the night, what does enhance,
All our fat sharing love, would the air be blue?
Fatness in our thighs, was so enticing,
Fat double chins, were so exciting,
Fat around your  guts, told me I must love you,
     Tummies in the night,
Teletubbies ,we looked such a fright,
Two naked tubbies, we  were  tummies in the night,
up to the moment, when we ate our first jello,
Did our fatness grow,
Fat was just a dance away, a fat embracing lard away,
and ever since that night, we've been fat together,
Tummies at first sight, in fat forever,
It turned out so fat, for tummies in the night!!!!

My closest friend is my oldest friend,
Old friendships never end,
Long understanding times,
I celebrate her in this rhyme,
She never judges anyone,
We still have cuppas of fun,
Yes, old friendships never end,
As onwards golden amity does wend......

For smiles and good company,
You can join a faith community,
Whatever your faith may be,
Some friendships are true gold,
The love of God is never old,
Humble faith works for me,
In an awesome community,
My true friend is like gold,
Jesus' love is ever told,
He is a real friend, you see,
Across time and centuries,
Golden friend for thee and me.....

Yes, it's Christmas, you know,
We'll all buy Easter eggs tomorrow,
Let's have a peaceful Christmas,
Easter eggs tomorrow, no fuss!
No need to commercialise, I guess,
Have a great day, no less,
Yes, it's Christmas, no woe,
We'll all buy Easter eggs tomorrow!

I opened an envelope, not so hard,
Within, from nicotine there was a greeting card,
"Hello, Earthling, how are you?
Did you notice I am missing you?
Do you ever miss your old pal too?
Do you ever yearn for a packet of friends?
But they're only friends till the packet ends,
Or, maybe, your lighter doesn't work,
So you get frantic, like a berk,
Do you ever miss old nicotine?
We were friends from when you were a teen,
What? You gave up smoking?
You're glad? You must be joking!
Well, I'll say goodbye to you,
Old nicotine is missing you,
I wondered if you missed me too...."

To be a greenie or not,
What to plant in this plot?
So you can chop it off,
I feel like tree hugging,
Chainsaws are me bugging,
I guess we agree to disagree,
I want to be a greenie!
House divided by you and me!

What is it really like to be old?
Read along, and you'll be told,
Well, there's spectacles and hearing aids,
Also along the way, by the way,
There's dentures in glasses,
Zimmers on greys who want to make passes,
Then there's incontinence aids, bad hips,
Appointments at medical specialists,
Then you're off to the pharmacists,
To get all your scripts,
Then there's the alphabet song,
Read along, read along,
A is for Arthritis,
B is for Bursitis,
C is for Constipation,
Always a grey consternation,
D is for Diarrhoea,
And no doctor wants to know ya!
Finally, Z is for the big sleep at the end,
No wonder geriatrics go round the bend,
Yes, greys, these are our golden years,
Have fun learning, no need for tears!

Wakey! Wakey! Brrrrring!
My clock does start its ring,
That'd be quite a shock,
If into the bin, I threw the clock,
No, its wake up o'clock,
Do you all hate your clocks?

This is a lateral Christmas, my dears,
The reasons for red-nosed reindeer,
Rudolph was on the *****, my dears,
Santa and Rudolph loved Christmas beers,
You could see it in their faces, dears,
Rudy and Santa were dipsomaniacs,
They drank all the ***** in Santa's sacks,
But worse, Santa's in a stroke unit, we fear,
We knew it was a bit hard,
For gifts, Santa maxed out his credit cards,
Red cheeks meant high blood pressure, we fear,
There's worse, Mrs. Santa was a real *****,
She drank all the eggnog with Rudolph and Blitzen,
The drunken elves kept all your gifts for their party,
They drank all your Christmas bevvies, party hearty!
There's worse, Christmas fairies live in fear,
They did ask Santa one year,
"What to do with the trees, Santa dear?"
"Wait and see!!" roared Santa, O dear,
There's a fairy with a tree up her blip here,
Now, Santa's in the Stroke Unit this year,
Folk at the North Pole, too much Christmas cheer,
So, there's no Christmas on Earth, my dears,
This is the lateral Christmas year...........

What if I thanked you for this,
Half a lifetime of free bliss,
What if I thanked you for our fusion,
A soul mate in our communion,
What if I thanked your aura, dude,
So healing my broken heart, your attitude,
Such an atmosphere, so golden and stellar,
You're a really lovely fellow,
So I write to my love in a letter,
I wish I could express it better.....

Yassou, I say to you in poetry,
To the 'Alive Poets' Society',
Here is one for your fantasies,
Make love with one feather-erotically,
But with a whole chicken, well, like, *****!
Run that past your thoughts, imaginarily,
Making love like that, immaculately,
Definitely one for your fantasies,
Using a whole chicken, well, like, *****!
Yassou, one of the 'Alive Poets' Society'!

Do you pledge allegiance?
With patriotic dalliance,
Like most things I guess,
We can be too patriotic, no less,
But we should be proud of our land,
Here in Oz, the great Southern band!

Can I ascend a poem allegorical?
Are Tetley's teabags paradoxical?
A teabag is full of strength,
Teabag enters moisture at string's full length,
Radiating vigour and a pick-me-up,
While the tea drinker begins to sup,
There is the lonesome teabag,
Sodden, drained by old hag,
Limp and fatigued,
I ponder, intrigued,
Are teabags signs sent from above?
Are teabags truly true love?
Is this a poem allegorical?
Used teabags--quite paradoxical!!

I wear it like a badge of honour, eh!
I awoke this morning and dressed in grey,
The all grey colours of the club, let's say,
Bit of irony, when you're old and grey,
Must keep a sense of humour each day,
Let's hope we all have a kick **** day,
In a mild mannered oldie way!
The all grey colours of the club today!

This is the news,
Old alliances on view,
The world is on the edge,
Exactly to what do they pledge?
And famine is stalking Africa again,
This is our continual shame,
Opportunism faces its fears,
What comes next, my dears?
See not the weeds, but the flowers,
We could all sit and whinge for hours,
See not the dust, but ceiling cobwebs,
What, indeed, happens next?
Could the world ever change its record?
Genocide is totally flawed.....

It's all quiet on the Eastern seaboard today,
As we pause for a century of Armistice Days,
Can any armed conflict pave the way,
For the peace on Earth for which we pray?
To the Anzacs upstairs we give a wave,
Our tribute to our young troops so brave,
We hear ghosts of cannons roar asunder,
Today we all stop to wonder,
We'll never know what they went through,
To make a future for me and you,
Red poppies are flowering again,
The silent bloom of a lost generation,
So we pause for a century of Armistice Days,
Let's hope for peace to be our way,
Yes, it's all quiet on the Eastern seaboard today,
"Thank you" is what we'd really like to say!

Being positive is my thing,
But I do have an evil twin,
I imagine some weird things,
Like being a gastric surgeon,
Give laryngospasms for these durgeons,
I don't think they'll ever be men,
Ah, it's no use snivelling, you ken?
Hope they get chicks better than me,
Else, who is going to cook your tea?
You must stop being such sooks,
Get off buns, and learn how to cook!

Here, I wrote a bridal guide,
A rule book for future brides,
No matter if you're fair, fat and wide,
Or not, here's some dependable asides,
First, keep degrees and jobs up to date,
With some mates you can't relate,
You never know when the rats will turn,
To being a doormat, is what to spurn,
Keep some getaway money set aside,
This is important in a bridal guide,
Always update your roadside assist,
Without that, car bingles can get you miffed,
Ditto home and car insurance too,
Note these well, I say  to brides like you,
Never take drugs if to Bali you roam,
Then you shall definitely not be coming home.
Herein, I wrote a bridal guide,
My  rule book for future brides.

This is a hymn for a him,
Close your eyes, imagine,
Soft, dextrous hands in motion,
Soothing aching muscles with lotion,
Smoothing with unguents,
Rubbing with emollients,
R.....E.....L....A.....X.....I.....N......G.....
You'­ll wake up smiling,
I'll ease away your frowning,
Compliant massage dreaming,
Healing hands for him,
Close your eyes, imagine........

Rise, smile, it's morning,
We wake up to new day dawning,
Please stop your yawning!

It's A. M. Haiku,
Fresh day for me and you too,
Now, where are my shoes?

From where do our  morals spring?
Quite an intangible conditioning,
In society, a necessary thing,
What is your philosophy of life,
or creed?  To live with no dull strife,
But who invented morality anyway?
In yet another societal day,
Who does write morality plays?

Do you want a small mystery?
Should I make the postman history?
What is in that letterbox?
Yet more bills, quite a shock.
Or do you want a big mystery?
Why are we here? Ask history....
Good question that,
We just are, that's that,
(Now I sound like ***),
Dumb question that, I guess,
So, next, that small mystery,
When do I make the postman history?
I guess it's all  mystery to me........

What is a reactionary?
They seem out of place to me,
Some people are reactionaries,
Their beliefs are futile isms, you see,
Out of place, out of time,
Anachronisms spring to mind.......

My ancestors were a funny lot,
Christians, or Atheists who lost the plot,
I meandered into a world of Faith,
A Christian woman, praying for Grace,
We're all on a mission for God,
To a path beyond, we're trod,
Every faith is for free,
It's up to you what you believe,
I must say I am atheist friendly,
All inclusive Christianity.

Today we lost poor Carrie Fisher,
Princess Leia was quite a disher,
Never mind, an expert would say,
Dr. Who still lives on today,
Leia lives on in our memories,
From her life, we have a legacy........

The city of Bongwater was a city of sin,
An epic journey of the man who did the bins,
All that binning at 5 am made a terrible din,
Monday mornings in Bongwater's city of sin,
Drive down, bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low!

The epic of the bin man in this city of sin,
Driving into parked cars made a terrible din,
"Told you not to  park near the bins."
The callous bin man yelled in the city of sin.

This is the epic of the bin man in a city of sin,
Past the schools, he ran over some kids,
"Told you not walk in front of bins!"
Our hero yelled at the rest of the kids,
Drive down , bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low.

The epic journey of a bin man in a city of sin,
One day, he hit the water mains with the bins,
Fountains erupted in this city of sin,
Bin man's demolished Bongwater, city of sin,
Drive down, bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip the bins down low!

An epic journey of the bin man, in a city of sin,
Driving into light poles in this city of sin,
"Who needs power?" he yelled above the din,
Driving around Bongwater's city of sin,
Drive down, bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low!

This is the epic of the city that didn't pray,
One day the bin man rolled their bins away,
That was the epic of our hero of the bins,
Driving round Bongwater, that city of sin,
All that binning made a terrible din!
Drive down, bin man.
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low!!!

Reading before sleep is good,
To wind down is what we should,
But! This book is neverending,
Page after page I am bending,
Why is this book unending?
First chapter was so great,
I thought the book first rate,
But, by now, the story is ruined,
All the characters seem doomed,
Right, book, back to the library with you,
I'm off to the library lucky dip,
Try new authors, that's my tip,
No, indeed,  I shan't sook,
I'll return this unending book!

Do you believe in Science Fiction?
You can have Jedi as a religion,
Led by a guru vader,
Leading the faith traders,
Jedi swords as new excaliburs,
Or are they non-sequiturs?
Yes, Jedi to seek their grail,
May the force be with you today!

Let's design  new schools,
Where amity is a teaching tool,
One big family of friends,
Where Peace is the means to an end,
No bigotry, racism, or intolerance,
Hands circling the globe in platonic dance,
We still need to learn our literacy,
Not to mention our numeracy,
But we could design new schools,
Where Peace is the learning tool.......

I sense the silent Heaven singing,
Angels in the night us blessing,
Prayers to the Lord are winging,
Old souls at our sides for guiding,
If we could only be perceiving...
Only a constant thought away,
Loved ones beside us every day,
Yes, I sense the silent Heaven singing,
In perpetual light abiding,
Angels in the night us blessing.