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Dec 2014 · 4.4k
Axion Prelude Dec 2014
planted seed; they let it grow
through much defeat, it’s never known
a smile's disguise seethes bated breath
my sole escape be only death
Dec 2014 · 465
Axion Prelude Dec 2014
i retain the strength of character that of the ocean’s floor

unwavering in nature, i do not break; i do not change, i merely drift and shape and form along with the currents as they bear their weight upon me.

but my weakest shortcoming is that i reside in permanent darkness- unknown, unheard and unseen where it is infinitely cold and quiet, alone

i simply wish, even if merely for one day in my life, to feel like the sun: warm, bright and seen by all; needed, known and felt.
Nov 2014 · 1.1k
Axion Prelude Nov 2014
Winter burns bright with the fumes of summer, but it’s still just as cold as the hearts that left me in the solemn, snow-filled days of yesteryear.
Aug 2014 · 625
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
Sleepless nights, alone in my head.. but what’s new? It’s 2am, once again, and I’ve gathered by now that nobody seems to have ever truly cared. My story is my favorite book to read, but I have no eyes.. and no ears to listen to my pleas. But, what’s new?

I’m used to it all by now. I just can’t seem to ever get used to being unappreciated, used or ignored. I just want to find my shade in the storm, a place to - once and for all - call ‘home’.

Please, when I get there, just don’t leave me at the door..
Aug 2014 · 350
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
these thoughts fester, blistering; glorified toxicity, virulent, mundane and absolutely consuming in every single way.

I love to hate it and I hate to love it, but I do; and sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be selfish, as they say I can. “It’s okay to be a little bit” but what about more? when in the past I was never, don’t I deserve to cash in on the blunder that was my life up until this point? it was all a lesson waiting to be frustratingly spat back in my face, concluding to the one single plane of time and space I was spent to end up here where I am today.

it was never a dream, it was always me that was never needed or wanted; it was always selfishness that guided it all and I was just the punchline to 27 years of contempt. and I still wonder, I think because I know: I need to go, I need to go

and I wonder, who would need me more than ever after the fact? Who would stay behind and grieve for me, but I curiously berate my consciousness with thoughts, more importantly, of “who would go?”

nobody but me. nobody still, no one. I would go alone.

But here, I am the same. At least on the other side, I don’t have to be the product of pain and the reason of disdain. swallowed whole again.. swallowed whole

I’ll leave this earth like a passionate torrent of dust and emptiness and corroded flesh mired by the taint of a Friday night’s ugliest forgotten texts - “hey, where are you?” said the blinding screen, faceless as ever and echoing screams of torment: why must I remain unseen?

no amount of effort, no amount of partiality begets the conundrum more than simply trying to believe in anything else. reality disguises itself as a promise, but the words never stuck. you lied to me, they all do - it’s fine, I’m used to it. my words never meant anything, too - until now

i will go
Aug 2014 · 710
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
Urges to see, colors to feel, sounds to taste, feelings to hear.. you mesmerize me like the reflection of the sky on the oceans surface: endless in nature, yet always so natural and real
Aug 2014 · 525
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
I'm looking for something real (with you), but not expecting a single thing. Just hoping that in return someday the feelings can be the same. Yet in between now and then, hope slides away, hides away in a place where no shame is born in here; unafraid to make the right choices and to say all the things I mean to say to you and only you.

It all holds meaning beyond what is said, much further than face value, coming straight from within my own head and deep within my being. Dignity and pride suffice to say the least of what my heart truly sings for you. In rapture, torn between waiting to see where this all goes and finding peace in knowing you're here at all sends me stumbling through the feelings, engulfed in a torrent of know how, deciding; always concluding that the truth is the only key to happiness, even yours. So that's all I ever give you.

and truth be told: just knowing you're in my life at all makes me the happiest man alive, but I would wait forever just to find out whether you'd ever choose to be happy with me as an 'us' - me and you.
Jul 2014 · 285
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
i assault my memories with lazy typewriter days
and these crazy moments i forget to sing
remind me of  your voice
because you say it sweeter anyways

and the meaning changes from red to green
never letting up and never saying stop
so we go and keep on going
until the horizon ends

and all we see is yesterday fade
while the summer creeps up to wake us up tomorrow
together - sometimes i like to think forever

and we'll get there soon enough
we'll get there when we say enough, our hearts explode with potential
where regret is simply like the doubt two lovers make when keeping promises

beauty stops breaking every bone
when the caller is you
and our lips align when we share the same secrets
over that talk box
make believe becomes reality
when i know its you who dialed first

and with a flick of a string or three
we can turn "I" into "We"
or at least "I am" into "we are"
wearing down thin these paper walls we hide behind

its just that easy if you want it to be
i know I do
Jul 2014 · 346
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
have you ever known what its like
to see a tortured heart try to embrace a broken one?
its a beautiful tragedy of sorts
a non uniform symmetry
breaking all the rules abound
by horizon lines that speak of a better tomorrow

but the sun just wont set alone
not of all the things that had been
even though a misery defeats purpose
in believing there can be anything more than pain

but i wouldnt settle for less than saying
everything on my empty mind
because its meant to be remembered
remembered by you

and have you ever felt what its like
to be waiting patiently for something that never could be
at least, to you, you think it isnt even true
but i have seen who you are
and i can not waste another breath faking
that everything you had and didnt have anymore
could be the last step amongst a shallow pool of fate

but i still doubt
i still wonder
i still question
i still see behind your jaded eyes
they speak things to me you dont mean to really say
and all of this i know just feels right where it is
right in knowing not to take it all seriously
and to drift away above the crashing waves
we both feel we're sinking in

even though we're drowning together
its for two complete different reasons
even though we're pretending
we pass notes to each other beneath the table
and i am the only one who has thrown it all out there
but i couldn't be more alive

knowing you and who you want to be
and all the things you wanted to stay right
i can safely say that it was never meant for me, too

but you
you sing to me
and all i wanna do is sing to you
Jul 2014 · 311
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
intentions skewed; blistering fate resides in reality
never too late, never too late, never too late
eschewed response, your bitter call
just as usual, just as usual, just as usual

am i of a higher morality or just another facade?
you decide, you decide, you decide
you always ******* decide

it's all about the wrong when the right feels so heartless
to sing a song of injustice is just as hallowed be thy names
weaker, weaker, weaker sins fade
as the line between good and bad; right and wrong
it all subsides to echos of yesterday

the dawn turns redder with lust everyday
and none seem quicker to succeed than those who fall blind
privileges bound to soft mutters of infringement and dignity lost to the fire
ashes, ashes, we all fall down
Jul 2014 · 982
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
these ***** eyes, they testify
all the things that bring us further down
and into wasted days of pseudo-hate
and promises of bitterness which dissipates
after summers' days dwindle
out of tune with our heart strings

it leaves us here in surmise of
all the things we sing along together
low and behold
we're still singing the same song either way

like a candle; fire lit at both ends
we meet across a river without a bridge
and hold on tight as we take the plunge
somewhere getting lost beneath the river bed
between these flowing streams of time we live within

and oh
all i want to do is find you there
swimming peacefully waiting to exhale
all the bad things you sigh in bated breath
and still my greatest dream is to breathe you in
Jul 2014 · 668
where are you
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
conflicted misdirection
abhorred nostalgic facade
clever impersonation
tales of redirection
insalubrious misrepresentation
a facetious misdemeanor
aggregated consciousness recalled
tempered with fear and mired respite
"not you" said wisdom
"only you" said the soul
"with you" said the mind
"where are you" wondered the heart
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
Perpetuity stifled in motion
Horizon beseeched
Lost in deceit
Engulf effervescent emotion
Drown in ignorance
Love misconstrued
The heart’s elude reality, together
Echoing fate, beating twice
Two souls ignited
Flames burn apart
So close
Jul 2014 · 814
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
heartstrings unbound
pulled apart like petals
blossoming truth beheld
this is Love
Jul 2014 · 925
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
i remember a secret i was once told
of all the things you tried to hold
but they slipped away into the night
fading between the shadows cast by the mornings light
the next day they were merely a memory
but you never forgot that pain in reverie
trying to grasp what was lost
in the hopes that when you find it next
it will not rot

but when i saw you there, i knew
what i found was something that drew me in
what i found was an idea lost
ill-begotten by my own memories, past
of all the people that gave up on my heart too

we all become broken at some point
feeling so lost and empty, disjointed from the world
our very bones and heart aching alike
and sometimes when our worlds are shattered
all it takes is time to pick up all the pieces
the little things that mattered most
sometimes lost to the gentle wisp of breath we exhale
a sigh of relief that at the very least
we can finally have the chance to let go
and begin anew

but when i heard your cries and felt your tears
when i saw you smiling with empty fears
that all good things i have to share are fallacies to endure
i knew then that you already had my heart
you were the one i was looking for all along
and i just wanted to embrace every quality of your person
every scar and every bit of pain, i intend to simply take away
and replace it with a warmth to set you aflame
so you may shine brighter than the sun

i know we all sometimes forget who we are
and in those times we fall harder upon our knees
whispering ill omens of fate or fates which can not be
but trust me dear they're right there, for you
from me, they're all i wish to give you, please
just to find a place in my heart that will never let you go
and never let you down, with open arms
i just want to finally give you a place to call your own
i want to give you all my heart, and call it home
Jun 2014 · 965
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
now its time you lay me out to dry
for i have found a way to make a mess of things
without regard to this empty grassy field i see
and no flowers bloom here
just a plush sea of green

so i jumped into the river instead
just to see how long i could hold my breath
but without you to exhale truths i wish to capture
i couldn't hold it long enough to save my life
so i floated on to a shore i could walk upon
solid ground greeting my path

forgive me if i rhyme too much
this music is infectious in my mind
it's got my heart sick without feeling
without passion
and then i see you in there too
and i do believe the cure to sing them is you

and i'm sweating bullets over here for some ammunition
just to see if i can hit my target on the spot
so lets see how close i can make it sweetheart
lets see how close this wish of mine is from the truth
Jun 2014 · 581
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
I saw the sun one morning I awoke to an empty world; a world where nothing meant anything, where the water I tread was not cool to the touch. It was warm to me, unwelcoming, stale, until that discontent was washed away..

Like the Oceans that blanket the land, this home we call ours even without knowledge of each others existence before, you came to me like a gentle clockwork tide. I knew it was you when the sand's edge became painted smooth ..

Like the rocks that build our mountains high, I've stood here alone for years merely listening to everything around me, feeling the cantankerous wind that blows baring down a weathering sting, breaking me down into solemn sands without soft waves to brush my face. Never have those winds blown through me: I've always stood alone.

As I've watched the world unravel in front of me, I've come to learn one harrowing truth that, true to anything in time, all the things that make you and I real can wisp away into dust, then forgotten..

With you, I know that will never happen

As I've always been, the rock, who has stood tall and prominent, you shall be my weathering soul. As are you, the water - ever flowing, ever changing - you shall stay just as the oceans have existed through time. There never need be any worry when the place you come to rest would be my warm heart; the warm beach I've become for you.

I will be the sturdy shore your tides can come and lie upon, embracing every grain warmed by the sun that shines on us both; and as I would be your resting place to call home, so shall you be mine to call my own: Clear waters so cool and welcoming as the open soul you are. I will always be your safe harbor when the winds seethe storms upon the horizon.

In the end, we will always be two souls as one as it will only be my ocean - you - my sea of life that I will fade into. As wave by wave, by each passing day, sifts my sands, I will fade into you evermore and you shall embrace me - with that, we shall always be together, forever.
cir. 4/'11

patience for the one who deserved it, waiting a lifetime for the right moment.

That moment still eludes me..
Jun 2014 · 1.3k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
Hearts ecstatic
kindred spirits
thoughts elope

seas wash over like a blanket
warm and quiet words
silent hope

whispers of desire
mired with complexity
patience begetting tranquility

kindness derides fear
stifled anxious inquiry
fate sings eloquently

hand in hand with time defeated
smile to smile the gaze instills
the sun still rises even so

a kiss remembered
our time together
never once forgotten

beauty therein held deep
truly remarkable and unique
my eyes upon you effortlessly
happiness just in knowing

Jun 2014 · 339
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
Happiness in drought
Though the rain did not fall
from these eyes when you said
you were his

My heart was already yours

Meaning lost in mediocrity
A spark ignited from curious ardor
Excellence in eloquent discourse

My heart was still yours

Opon sultry lips, we met in the night
Did pale, sweet ignorance unite
two souls who ache for each others embrace
The song of heart's fealty to another
calling back to life what senses were relinquished
in our moment there

My heart is only yours

And so the mind now quivers
at the thought of needing me
So softly spoken from your tongue
"I do not want you to go away"
But the curiosity grows sour with defeat
wondering how it could not be only
my arms you seek
But my patience never rests for you

And my heart will always be yours
Jun 2014 · 11.6k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
hand in hand, the mind soars effortlessly
apart, the heart wilts with questions unanswered

and i merely seek for us to bloom, together
Jun 2014 · 2.4k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
you are the reason and I am the cause
together existing as a single tangible flaw
staring down fate with our hearts entwined
a bitter feud of passionate irrationality showing all the signs
adorned with a conscious need to seek more with time

no time left, the clock strikes midnight
and we go, we go; we keep going on
bringing our hands closer to what we want
pushing through unto dawn with this plight

solidarity benefits the purpose of why
separating all the words between meanings aligned
defining reason alone with blank canvas minds
ready and willing to satiate this place in space and time
decimating indecision with open eyes

combined efforts sought through curiosity
the blank pages wired down with what we know
but what we want has forsaken us without a means to write it all down
carried away with doubt and fear of being burned from the bright sun
still whispering lullabies that help us both stay in the fight

this helpless inspiration is determined by the stronger voice
I wont rest until I reverberate every breath of ours by choice
solemn hours of sleepless nights breaking the lines
between life and love and a scarred heart desperate to redefine
shores lie dormant, ready to drown us under its persistence

every provocation and implication suffers from empty lies
deceiving ourselves, trying to forget the lifetime of pain
deliverance lost in the darkness, seeking to make things right
and I just want to be the one to show you the light
Jun 2014 · 965
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
go ahead and take my voice for truth
lighthearted fantasies of what could be
scathe or vision with the empty touch of honesty
reaching out through emotion and words alone
never feeling so much of what we'd like to know is wanted

impossible to deny the interpretation
raw with passionate dissonance
and it is sought without moving
stagnant with patience
a belief that something more awaits if taken, the leap

and we speak in the night together, alone
we seek each other out time and time again
but logic has no home here
mired with a false fate but never empty with hope
something we see inside ourselves and each other
agonizing lust and passion creeping through the cold
trying to find a fire for the spark to ignite every intention
and the heart chokes on the meanings of it all

instead we settle to constantly move together
seething motivation through desire
the fear of regret thick in the blood
the heart pumps harder, quicker, hotter
treading on, constantly seeking, hearing, knowing

coloring empty pages of a book neither of us have read
with a sincerity we have no privilege to own yet
and our conversations flow like a stream of heart and mind
carrying us further past the point of no return

the waterfall echoing in the distance with raw reality
exuded from nowhere we expect to see ourselves
but the aching desire to embrace it all rocks me to the core
and I am ready to drown in it all
just to know exactly the meaning behind every word we share
Jun 2014 · 4.5k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
a flower I can not touch nor smell, or see.. or is there any flower at all?

and yet I am part of the soil sewn from which it blossoms. But when its petals bloom, I wonder if they shall be facing me or the sunset..
Jun 2014 · 227
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
I am tormented.
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
what drifts between the mired lines of fate and dreams sets free the sorrowed wakening of the harrowed heart.

in cold rapture, time stands still with every word exposed and seen through touching, gazing eyes

each moment gone before begets the forward, eternal march unto dawn

the good bestows lawful effortless bounty of what was always meant to be

two hearts beckon upon each other in torment and rapture, anxiously seething one another

patience values the faithful wrought with time and humbleness
Jun 2014 · 836
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
stifle quaint bitterness
superfluous objectivity
scant faces run dire with shame
anger, drilling deeper
resonance in faith; signs of release

chain the lion
thoughts faded into mystery
anesthetize burning eyes with compassion
locked in fate, mired with doubt
seethe life, breathe free

imprisonment forgotten
heart set free
dark sunset, rising grey with deceit
stolen mind, contemplative

foreign feelings
lost to hatred
found again
speak, child
share my heart with all the hurt
suffer no more

found shame
shared destiny
healing, hand in hand
provincial blessing in disguise
amend soiled plight with bold tongues
true words echoing hope

two, lost
both found
dead inside, no more
found home, heart to heart
dream with sleepless nights
awake, together

Jun 2014 · 744
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
on sacred shores, the patient await their answer. sometimes, that answer never comes.

and as we sit and wait, listening to the cool gentle breeze caressing our face, we like to think and hope that soft touch is the call we've wanted. the aching change in heart, the sound of destiny calling. we hope that once in our life, the emptiness of the room is the sound of the voices we wish and hope will call out our name.

sometimes, we know it's too late or it's too much that we're asking, but still we sit patiently, chanting songs of passionate desolation, hoping our sounds will be heard through these glass walls. fervently, we await, watching as fate passes us by, wondering what we did wrong or what we could have done to save ourselves the grief of never knowing true happiness. the faithless are always content with observing.

when the heart wishes for what's right, the weight of the world seems like nothing for the cost of romantic freedom. desperation lies cold and dead when the soul knows where it needs to go, intent on compromising naivety, showing spite for all things mediocre.

outside, the light shines bright, but inside it is always dark; and we seek warmth, forever. we await in anxiousness for the time we can feel that warmth once more. it is time to move forward.

privileged paranoia respites the remedy for cause and effect - no more
Jun 2014 · 5.1k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
hope and expectation are at war
eternal conflict, reverberating endlessly
the struggle to know and the desire to want
seething within
tension breaks at the first word

marred with patience
quiet, silent, waiting
compassion resonates
kindness wanders silently
i am here
Jun 2014 · 1.5k
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
candid malice, besieging
drained by lucrative ignorance
frustration staining teared windows
the hole leaks with pure essence
once where the heart stood, emptiness retains resolve
desolation sets in
she calls, in the mind..
passion begets strife
i walk on
May 2014 · 371
Axion Prelude May 2014
the sun sets with much disdain for the morrow; the wind, stale with defeat, whispers echoing clandestine guilt of things never meant to be.

the heart burrows deep unto solemn internal recourse, bound by flame and disgust, pleading to be set free and seen - to no avail

where does the mind go when the heart can't see? where do all the gentle words flee when there is no feeling left of hope or love?

to beseech is to abstain - they never listen. begotten by the ignorant, time seems lost in itself. where there was doubt, so came the demise of hope.

seek anew, rise above the pain. listen, speak, learn. the pale, sultry face of redemption is close. my savior and kindness. sweet humble voice of reason: save me from this doubt. your eyes speak to me and your mind drives the curiosity within wild with passionate conjecture.

you may be closer than you think
May 2014 · 605
Axion Prelude May 2014
Lucid dreams of what could have been; another world or time, the difference staggeringly saddening. The time to find the means to an end goes too fast to comprehend it all as it comes. It floods the brain, the mind and heart. Overwhelming circumstance: motivation lost. Exacerbation kills creativity altogether; and the cycle repeats. I’m lost.
May 2014 · 888
Axion Prelude May 2014
Amiss: the times forgotten; bestowed, a dark longing for power. Dried, empty and desolate. The past, a prelude of what is to come.

Desolation is misery's friend. But, the sun rises once more, as always. Complete, soft, warm; dependable, trusting, forgiving.

The light shines bright upon the horizon; and the subtle ache of needing more mires the necessity to beget what is wrought with strife and pale ignorance.

The red rose strives on, besieging my mind with agonizing desire to seed dissonance. Such kindness resonates within me. And the humble tone of honesty cascades a purer meaning.

She eludes me.

Paths cross but once in our lifetime. The choice is there, but the strength is not. The consequences are dire, rich with hate and loss and fear. The outcome? Always unknown.

The rewards? Eternal.

— The End —