you appreciate:
....distance...
more than I'd planned.
so how do I communicate
a need:
....to hold your hand....
                                         ?

its dragging my feet through the snow in an attempt to make the journey easier for those behind me.
not answering the hardest question because there is someone somewhere milling it over and will suddenly understand and bring joy.
about the late nights looking over balconies for the lady who i'm sure will one day look back and wave because she's lonely.

but i've never thought about such things.

instead the sun brings with it smiles and the clouds rain and scowls but come umbrella banter or parasol proddings the day has to pass.
it has to.
there's a beauty somewhere within your eyes and looking into them a little too long has left me with one of those purple rings that never want to stay in sight.
i guess you hide in them too.

which of course is fine. its a little lonely being the one who only looks.

come with me one day to the hill where the ground turns to the sky and the tree i fail to understand how it hasn't fallen.
come with me to the river that once i fell in and prayed for gills to swim away and find the sea.
come with me to my room where i can make you a bit more real.

you have given me your memory. i will take you with me.

Scratching these words out
drawing blood from stone,
Will you read 'em? No doubt
but you'd prefer to read alone.

My "a" s have gone gray
maybe a few times too many,
still I'd die to hear you say
you like these poems plenty.

I think you're annoyed,
told me so fair few times.
But you played and toyed,
let me commit a few crimes.

One day I'll look back.
With your face all non-seeing.
Knowing that look in fact,
was all due to my being.

                 You never really cared about friendship
                  really the opposite to me.
                   Guess your heart prevents it
                     Nothing taken personally.

What will I have of you
to show
Why I love you?
What, can I raise in my cold hands
to summon your warmth
back into my blood?
To speak of you, like snowflakes
in space,
to feel the shape of a name in my mouth?
What part of my heart
can I show, to make others understand?
To who can I hold like you did,
in my fever dreams,
to breathe in my whispers and lock them away for rainy days?
To who can I give these tears that betray my love?

Please. What can you leave for me
Before you have to leave me?

kiss me so the vines in my veins can snake out to hold you

i never could write in the sunshine, yet i had to.
and sometimes, the sky opens these memories
long, long locked away.
The parting of clouds, like that of eyes, of dreams.

of being 6 and crying tears of joy,
of being 12 and just crying,
the bite of bark against forearms,
the froth of a first beer,
and fires of first love,
and aches of growth,
seeing mirrors that never had a little boy smiling,
seeing horizons that never had an end.

sometimes, i think, the sky is like a mirror
reaching out across time.
and i think i could now dance carefree
with the snivelling younger me.

with all of that self-love,
seeing his future would be enough.

After, your heart
opens to me.
My mouth'll tumble out,
every single sweet story it knows.
Just so those eyes- ever gaze to mine.
I'll leave that ******* called time
To his own lover.

Melted cream kisses
that clot our nerves with a
sweetness so throat coatingly sugary.
******* caramel covered heart.
Keep me on you till we part;

We're a little "pick me up" kinda love.

i am living in

the gaps of your              sentences.
waiting on each
intake of                                 air
trying to figure out

the right time to                breathe.

Good morning all, this morning i awoke
and i wanted to say something.
I got dressed in fibers made in who knows where,
traveled on a train made of who knows what,
to speak to you fine people probably thinking
"Who the hell is this!?"
but i wanted to say something.
You see, i'm not the brightest kid in the club,
the sharpest neither-
can't make a universe with my words nor build a story with my soul.
i don't have that talent but
i wanted to say something.

There is no greater moment
than the moment just gone.
These words, fleeting like grains of sand from my mouth
i want them to take root in your hearts and build a thousand sandcastles, so i can proudly say i made a beach out of the intangible
and no amount of sea salty hatred can force it to
perish.
i wanted to say something. something you wouldn't forget and
something i wouldn't regret.

I wanted to say something.
so, good morning everyone
what kind of story shall i tell?

Cute.
Big man,
but bigger ego.
Stop grinning, cause soon-
All those pretty white teeth will
bend and bow
for me.

-bitten love;
tasting someone else
just to spit them
out.

I have a
disconcerting.... habit.
not drugs Mind you
or the like,
its a phrase- or more honestly a turn of one.
"Come Along."                                                          ­  Strangly simple right?
For the life of my life i don't know
WHY
I repeat it.

Am i perhaps
reMinding my Mind
"be Mindful of those landMines planted by that Mindless mad man"?!

in honesty,
i doubt it.

Egotistical.

Because your smile makes me.

Or.

Stereotypical.

Because your smile breaks me.

Today, you didn't appear.
For the life of me,
or death
I could not stand the fear.

You had staggered away.
Even after I may, or may not
have wanted you to stay.
Did my words wind up lost in translation,
still- I begged for swift emancipation.

Perhaps I fret too much.
"I" lacking your loving touch.
for we are not "We"
Just You an'                                                               Just me.

Today you didn't appear.

so i wound
whats left of my feeling
in copper wire.
The idea being;
any regretful shocks will
jumpstart-my heart-healing.

-a poets best and worst moment.

Distances uncovered by slow fingertips tracing arches of ligaments
rivers of veins
through mountains of bone
across lakes of pain.

Your body is a continent
and something compels me to explore,
(and as long as you allow it)
I'll keep searching till we're sore.

The Night
sparkles somewhere....far
lit only by
the tail of some falling star.
and under it
Two hearts expend,
all that they thought....
they thought their hearts could send.
and between them
The oaken child
who stares up at the sky
wishing to be wild.
and in his hand
a pen tightly held.
a caligraphical cage
another passion quelled
And Above Them All
     Snow.............. Slowly..... begins..... to.... fall.

“fear
he who reaches into
the core of a heart
and makes
its cavities
music.”

cutthroat bed-warmer
i warned you.
to underhandedly procure
the duvet
in a dubious midnight heist
is a violation
of the “Pillow-Talk Three Truce”.
there are no second chances
in this
quilted coalition you concocted.
by daybreak, after a night of unrepentant tickling, kissing, or any some such
sleep disturbancing,
perhaps my arms will be laid down
in a show of piety.

to be the
little spoon by the afternoon.

never have i begged
my legs to give way,
but i have begged
you to catch me.                              
            
                                        i may ask for your love
                                     **but i will never betray my own.

"Your true friends show themselves in the times of need."
-
So am i sick to
wish bad things
upon myself?
-
"No. But you are sick of loneliness."

I remember
even if I don't want too.
Seeing you climb over
obstacles of your own making
and jumping from post to post
with no other feeling
but a smile.

Its a still image

repeating again but different;
like waves that break
or waves that smother
or waves that never rise at all.
But it's better to break beautifully
than stagnate.

I didn't belong in someone else's heart

**That's what I believe.

Who am i kidding
no friendship
should taste this bitter.

Who am i kidding?
no poetry
can change this pain.

Who am i kidding!
no smile, shared suddenly
can make you love me!

No number of late nights
no number of long days
or number of friendly fights.

When we met you told me
your heart is non-reaching
and
i said mine's over reaching.

Who am i kidding..
this gap'll never be bridged
we're a lost cause.
                                                       so  I left my heart to die
                                                       when i spluttered out my goodbye.

if i wanted to hurt you
                        i would feed you my poetry,
                                                         then wean you off of it.
                                                  
                                         Out of spite.