For ten months I’ve watched you struggle,
And for ten months I’ve felt helpless.
First it was the percs,
I asked you why,
You said “boredom”
Next is was *******,
I asked you why,
You said “so I can get off the percs”
After that it was Xanax,
I asked you why,
“Because the coke ate a hole through my nose”

I just hope that we don’t have to dig a hole for you.
Instead of me shifting through your boxes desperately trying to find your stash,
You’ll be in the box, we’ll pour dirt over you, and our tears will never dry up.

Except today when your aunt asked you how you want us to arrange your funeral
You said you wanted to be cremated
So I guess you’ll just be dust.

I took apart your apartment, just to find your drugs. Now it’s as messy as you’ve become ,
I left your house feeling like I’ve already lost you,
Addiction has its greedy claws stuck in your skin, it’s made you unrecognizable.
We buried Kyle in August, cause he developed a habit and couldn’t shake it, Now I’m Afraid I’ll have to wear black for you soon too,
Please addiction, don’t take another friend from me. Give her back. Please give her back. I don’t have enough boxes to keep fitting their bodies.

You said “ I would follow you to hell”

What you didn’t know was that I was already there.

Life is but a blink of the eye,
Death is the real adventure.

You’re the beautiful lie
&
I’m the painful truth.

I won’t let your expectations suffocate me,
I won’t conform to this,

Like a caterpillar in a cocoon,
I’m going through a metamorphosis.

Today I poured a cup of whiskey for a man that’ll never drink it,
The bar tender said “where’s your friend”
“In heaven” I replied,

His face looked solemn,
And for a second I swear I saw him have a flash back in his eyes,
He poured another cup of whiskey,
“For the ones that left to early, this ones on the house”

And so the glasses stayed there,
Un-drank, all night.
When I went to leave they where still sitting, Lonely against the counter top.

I walked by in the morning, there was a police line by the door.
The bartender took a shot gun after closing and used it on himself.

Through the window I could still see the glasses of untouched whiskey,
But instead of two glasses there were three.

Most of us are just paper planes,
Trying to become origami cranes.

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,

My heads in the clouds but my body’s glued to the ground,
I’m in ecstasy, I know it’s just a fantasy,
But this highs got me dreaming of a better life,
These pills have me reaching for the light,
I don’t want to fight it, I want to give in,
So let’s smoke another little bit of sin,
Baby let’s get lost in it,
Baby let’s fall in love with it,
Everything will be okay as long as it’s lit,
Yeah we’ll be okay as long as it’s lit,

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,

I don’t feel anything, no nothing at all,
I want to forget so pass me the alcohol,
I’ve been searching for a solution, you’re the answer to all my problems,
I shoot you through my veins so I have the strength to fight my demons,
It’s got my fragile mind falling into pieces,
This addiction is a monster that needs me to feed it,
When did everything get so twisted,
**** how did I get so twisted,
The train back to sanity- yeah I must have missed it,

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,

You don’t take away my nightmares, your in them with me,
Instead of this empty shell, you give me hope of what I could be,
It’s a miracle I still exist,
Soon I’ll be making my exit,
By then I’ll be nothing but pieces,
I'll grind them up, rail lines of myself,
Is it to late to ask for help,
F*ck it, light it up,
Light me up,
Chase away the darkness,
I’m an addict, saving me is helpless,

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground.

Six feet under, I’m buried in the ground.

Cause f*cking up takes practice
&
I feel I’m well rehearsed

He gave me a gilded cage,
All I wanted was to fly.

I tried to die once,
I failed,
So instead I tried to live,
Here I am,

I said to death,
Come and get me,
But death didn’t want me,
So I said to life,
I am yours,
But life laughed,
You belong to time,

So I begged time to hold me,
But time said you can’t hold on to me,
So I held myself instead;

And I thought,
What’s missing,
It was love,
So I asked love to find me,
Instead I found him,
He gave me life,
He gave me time,
He gave me love,
But death,
Death took him.

So I begged death,
Take me with you,
He said,
It’s not your time yet.

So here I am.

Even though you’re  the reason behind my pain,

I want you by my side when the clouds come,

Because the hurt will hide the rain.

It was an endless November,
Turned into a cold December,
Let’s hope January is forgiving.

He
Broke my wings
So I couldn’t

Fly

So I stole his soul
So he couldn’t

Die

I
Said I’ll see
You tomorrow
But
For him
Tomorrow never
Came.

Life waits for no one,
& I’m late.

I can't explain my feelings to you they’re  a jumbled mess,
I'm confused , I'm scared , I can't connect , my sins i can’t confess,

In all honesty I wonder how you keep from shuddering when I'm around ,
I'm cold & Broken, I’m so lost I don’t want to be found,

I can't control this urge to run - to flee down this dirt track,
My foot prints stretching in one direction never looking back,

I'll leave a paper trail of folded love letters for you to read when I’m gone,
Cause I’m not brave enough to confess to you, I’m afraid you’ll see through this facade,

I won’t return,
Back here,
my dear,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

I haven't had the chance to touch the sky or even walk on clouds ,
Never been to Italy or to chicagos city crowds,

I’ve never been lost at sea or seen the northern lights,
But I’d rather wander aimlessly than stay here and fight,

I'm so far gone driving the wrong way down a one way street,
I might be behind the wheel but this cars controlling me,

If you told me to jump off a bridge id thank you for suggesting it,
Cause honestly most nights I’m just looking for an excuse to finally end it,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

Waking up to cigarette burns and half drank bottles of liquor,
Light shining through the blinds, my head burns,

The sun in my eyes is like a light houses beam,
A blinking beacon ment to guide me home from sea,

But I'm already lost in this ocean of tears ,
Stuck in the waves till the storm finally clears,

I don’t think the rain is going to go away today,
So I wash it down with gin and tonic,
& hope to god I don’t choke on my *****,

At least I’ve finally had a taste of the real world,
As bitter as it tastes I don’t think I can go back to being that old girl,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,


Only thing keeping me motivated to move on is an old photograph I have of a boy I once loved ,

Haven't stopped moving since I read his name off his headstone, I can't even remember the warmth of his hug,

Doesn't matter where I go I still see that concrete angle with his face,
Doesn't matter how far I run, how much alcohol I drink, I can’t forget his taste,

My memories are torture, I’m stuck in their chains,
Ive cried so many tears they’ve turned into a cloud of salted rain,

It stings my skin so sweetly I’m Afraid it’s my only escape ,
Can't turn back this ticking clock, life waits for no one and I’m late,

So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,

Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,

What do you think is tougher?
The human skull,
Or a revolver?

Tell my parents I won’t be coming home.

Autumn leaves blowing in the breeze,
Cool wind against my skin,
The seasons are changing as fast as I am,
So what does that mean for us?
Our summer romance is over,
Dry your tears before September turns them to dust,

Bundle up, wrap your arms in cotton,
Guard your heart against the winter chill that’s coming,
Build a fire to thaw your frigid limbs,
I can hear your bones crackling in the flames,

When spring arrives I hope some of our love survives,
These changing seasons,
as they flutter by,
Our skin once fresh and smooth,
Turned stiff and cracked like uncured   leather,

Where did the time go I wonder?
Our youth swallowed by time,
Taken in flashes of quickly aging months,
How many summers passed us by while our heads were in the clouds?

How long before we join the pebbles beneath our feet?
Will we get a chance to see one last season of bare trees,
A sea of red and orange littered upon the ground,
We are changing faster than the seasons.

He was an enigma machine,
he guarded his secrets with military precision,

She was an open book,
one that no one ever finishes,

They were tragic,
one said nothing, while the other said to much,

One stood tall and ramrod straight,
the other depended on a broken crutch,

Both were destitute,
One was loud, the other was mute,

He suffered in reticence,
she was filled with penitence,

They both left the world of their own accord,
They chose to fall upon their own swords,

They were heartbreaking until the very end.