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He said “let me ruin you”

So I let him, cause I knew I wasn’t whole to begin with.

I said “obliterate me”

And he scattered me into satisfying pieces.

He said “broken girls always taste the sweetest”

Like salt and cherry lip gloss.
It’s been a while
If you build a wall,
I’ll build a door,
I’ll knock until it opens,
And hope it never closes.
He said that I was a burden.
So I lit a cigarette and sobbed on my father’s couch, the tears dried up, but my heart never stopped crying.
I Can’t Rest In Peace,
So Instead,
I Stress In Pieces.
In 22 days it’ll be one year since you died.
How is it possible that the world kept turning while the space you existed in disappeared. Grief never leaves you, it catches you off guard. It’s in every photograph, every spot you use to fill, in the eyes of our friends, in my memories of you. It’s the building we worked in, it’s my backyard where you sat, and it’s everytime I see a blue rubber band. How can a wound tear open so many times without ever quite healing? How can it be that your gone but I still feel you in every room. The world kept turning without you, and that breaks my heart.
What if I’m not the good guy?
I’ve been thinking about this lately, because I don’t think anyone sees themselves as the bad guy, as the villain, but some of us definitely are.
Loving you ain’t easy,
Cause I had to learn to love myself,
When you said I was the one I wondered how,
Cause I was no ones anything until I became your something just now,
Loving you ain’t easy,
Cause I know it only takes a second to catch an eye,
But it takes so much longer to say goodbye,
Loving you ain’t easy,
Cause I’m afraid your feelings will fade,
It’s like your the sun and I’m the shade,
Yeah loving you ain’t easy,
Cause I had to learn to love myself,
And it’s so hard to trust but it’s so easy to doubt,
Yeah loving you ain’t easy,
Cause it’s hard to love myself.
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