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11.9k · Dec 2018
Immortal
He
Broke my wings
So I couldn’t

Fly

So I stole his soul
So he couldn’t

Die
6.4k · Dec 2018
Smart Mouth
I never did know when to shut my mouth,
So I guess it’s no shock to feel it smarting against your back handed swing,
But to be honest, I bet it hurt you more, does it sting?
Can you feel it in your bones ?
Copper taste against my tongue,
I’m choking on my own blood,
Does my manic laugh horrify you?
This Cheshire smile plastered across my face,
Do my cheekbones slice your knuckles?

That’s going to leave a bruise,
Not that you care,
Twisted my head back by my hair,
My body is peppered in greens, purples, blues,
But with the way you turn your head down you’d think I was the one abusing you,
When you wrap your meaty fingers around my windpipe does it give you pleasure?
What goes through your mind while your holding my life in your hands,
How many of my ribs have you cracked upon your feet,
Only to lick my thighs later like a treat,
One of these days it’ll be my fingers around your neck,
And I won’t stop squeezing till your dead,
Until then use my body to your hearts content,
This dangerous dance,
Like egg shells beneath my soles,
I’m waiting for you to slip on the blood you painstakingly draw from me blow by blow,
And in your own sick way you actually love me,
Convinced the only way to save me is to hurt me,
But I’m not that sick or twisted to believe the words you croke out,
One day very soon it’ll be you who shouts,
Ya I never did know when to shut my mouth,
So I guess it’s no shock to feel it smarting against your back handed swing.
If anyone was triggered by the nature of the poem , please accept my apology. Domestic abuse is very serious  and not something I take lightly.  

1 (888) 579-2888

Above is a Canadian victim services hotline.

If your in a bad situation please seek help.
2.6k · Dec 2018
Cigarette smoke
I’m trapped in a room where the door is open but I can’t get out,

I’m screaming my head off but no one can hear me shout,

I’m struggling to breathe but there’s plenty of oxygen,

I crave an escape from this concrete metropolitan,

Blinded by this plastic smile they can’t see I’m stuck in my own personal hell,

I’m walking around frantically trying to get someone to notice that I’m an empty shell,

Tragically, I’m physically heathy with food to eat and a family yet I can’t seem to stop thinking about ending myself,

What’s wrong me, that I can’t be happy when I literally have nothing to be sad about?

But that’s the thing the numbness, you can’t stop it, it doesn’t discriminate,

It doesn’t care whether your a man, a women, a criminal, or a saint,

It just wants to fill you up till you can’t get out of bed,

It makes you a prisoner inside your own head,

Who could I tell? How would I explain it so someone could understand when I don’t even understand,

When I’ve succumbed to the madness who will lend me their hand ?

So I don’t tell anyone & suffer in silence, when the thoughts start creeping up again,

I smother them in cigarette smoke wishing I had prescription for Xanax or Vicodin.
I use to have chronic depression and so I’d try and drown it out with substances except it never worked

I’m not depressed anymore but every now and then I’ll have that fleeting feeling where I can remember the numbness

Sometimes i think I was the most creative in the loneliness but I would never what to be in that dark place again
2.5k · Jan 2019
L L E H
You said “ I would follow you to hell”

What you didn’t know was that I was already there.
1.8k · Feb 2019
——
1.6k · Jan 2019
Three lonely whiskey glasses
Today I poured a cup of whiskey for a man that’ll never drink it,
The bar tender said “where’s your friend”
“In heaven” I replied,

His face looked solemn,
And for a second I swear I saw him have a flash back in his eyes,
He poured another cup of whiskey,
“For the ones that left to early, this ones on the house”

And so the glasses stayed there,
Un-drank, all night.
When I went to leave they where still sitting, Lonely against the counter top.

I walked by in the morning, there was a police line by the door.
The bartender took a shot gun after closing and used it on himself.

Through the window I could still see the glasses of untouched whiskey,
But instead of two glasses there were three.
1.5k · Dec 2018
*
*
He said he’d break me,
I said I didn’t mind.
And I didn’t.
1.5k · Dec 2018
Thick & Thin.
It was suppose to be
    
       Through thick and thin

But when things got

         Thick you became thin

& were gone with the wind.
A line I particularly like from my poem blinded.
1.4k · Jun 2021
⚠︎︎
ɪᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ sᴀᴅ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ
ɪᴍ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴘɪssᴇᴅ ☠︎︎
1.4k · Jan 2019
I don’t have enough boxes
For ten months I’ve watched you struggle,
And for ten months I’ve felt helpless.
First it was the percs,
I asked you why,
You said “boredom”
Next is was *******,
I asked you why,
You said “so I can get off the percs”
After that it was Xanax,
I asked you why,
“Because the coke ate a hole through my nose”

I just hope that we don’t have to dig a hole for you.
Instead of me shifting through your boxes desperately trying to find your stash,
You’ll be in the box, we’ll pour dirt over you, and our tears will never dry up.

Except today when your aunt asked you how you want us to arrange your funeral
You said you wanted to be cremated
So I guess you’ll just be dust.

I took apart your apartment, just to find your drugs. Now it’s as messy as you’ve become ,
I left your house feeling like I’ve already lost you,
Addiction has its greedy claws stuck in your skin, it’s made you unrecognizable.
We buried Kyle in August, cause he developed a habit and couldn’t shake it, Now I’m Afraid I’ll have to wear black for you soon too,
Please addiction, don’t take another friend from me. Give her back. Please give her back. I don’t have enough boxes to keep fitting their bodies.
Last August one of my friends died 12 hours after I last saw him of a drug over dose. Over the last ten months one of my best friends has also been struggling with drug addiction and I’m so afraid that I’ll be burying her next. Please if you’re currently addicted to something, seek help. Addiction doesn’t just take your life, it consumes the lives of everyone around you.
1.3k · Jul 2022
The Boy I Loved Before You
The boy I loved before you was so beautiful- but only on the outside,

A handsome face that hid a wicked grin,
He was a master of disguise,

The boy I loved before you swept me off my feet- but only for a little while,

He built me up and then he knocked me down,
And he did it with a smile,

The boy I loved before you destroyed me- but only for a little while,

He left my pieces broken, scattered,

But you fixed them,
And you did it with a smile.
1.1k · Dec 2018
August 25th
Ring... ring...

Pick up the phone,
Knees chattering,
Where’s my breath,
Oh god,
Ten minutes till my shift,
Kyles dead,
I just hugged him
12 hours prior,
I said goodnight,
I love you,
See you tomorrow,

But for him,
Tomorrow never came,
Why did I answer the phone,
How can I face the space
That you no longer occupy,
Why couldn’t you resist
That sweet high,
I miss you,

Another friend gone to early,
Every hit you took a gamble,
Your bed became your grave,
You sister just got married last
Week,
You were the best man,
This was suppose to be
The happiest time of her life,
Instead of planning her honey moon,
She’s planning your wake,

You never wore anything
Other than black,
Always dressed like
You were going to a funeral,
Now we’re at yours,
It’s a closed casket,
You sister is sobbing,
Your best friend is broken,
Your girlfriend lost her voice,
I’m hoping your body isn’t really
In that box,

You loved jack Daniels,
So that’s what we drank
Until the sun rose
For the first time
Without you,
It’s was August 25th,
I never did go back
For that last shift,
How could I without you?

It’s December now and it’ll
Be your mother’s first Christmas
Without her son,
Your sister has been taking
Care of your girlfriend,
They cling together
So that they don’t succumb
To the numb,
It’ll be the first time in three
Years I spend New Years
Without you,
Your best friend moved away,
It was too painful to stay,
Cause every place in town
Feels empty without you,

We don’t go to grand central anymore,
Cause it was your favorite bar,
And the memories are still too fresh,
God ****** Kyle,
Why didn’t you tell us you had an addiction,
God ******,
Why didn’t we notice
Until August 25th.
We miss you Kyle, more and more each day. Rest In Peace my friend, until we meet again someday.
1.1k · Jan 2019
Your eyes.
Your eyes never lied
Though your smile did;

Often.

Your upturned lips
A sordid grin
But your eyes;

Haunted.

Flashing teeth
Bright and white
But your eyes;

Cold.

Your eyes never lied
But your smile did;

Often.
999 · Feb 2019
Pill Popper.
Percocet
*******
Xanax
OxyNEO

And god knows what else.
You keep telling me “I’m not high I swear! I’m just tired”
But your lips are tinged blue, you have saliva in the creases of your mouth, your body is frail and sickly looking, your skin so white it’s almost transparent. Your eyes are swollen, glossy, and gaunt, your cheeks are sunken, your hair is tangled and unwashed.

“I’m not high I swear!”

But I don’t believe you. How many times have you said that to me only to confess later that you were, that you found a pill and didn’t have the self control not to take it.

“I’m not high I swear”

Yet you randomly smack your head, blurt out random words and nonsense, forget entire conversations, fall asleep mid sentence.

You said you were clean. But the very next day I get a call telling me that you’ve been arrested for a DUI, you had Xanax and Oxyneos in your toxicology report.

I’m afraid to answer my phone when it rings, I always fear it will be the call that tells me you’ve overdosed.

You said “I don’t need to go to rehab, I can quit myself”
But if that were true, you’d be clean by now. It’s been over a year since you told me you were addicted to pills.
At first it was just a perc or two, and now you are a full blown opioid abuser.

You’ve become the thing you hated most. An addict that can’t admit that they have a problem.

“Im not high I swear”

I can’t count how many times you’ve said that, how many times you lied to my face. So many times I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again.
But I know I will, and I know I’ll go home and cry after and pray to god you wake up tomorrow.

I just want my best friend back, the kind and honest loving girl you use to be.
I’m tired of the you you’ve become.
The girl that lies, that steals, that is wasting away.

If only you never took that first pill.
Addiction steals everything.
962 · Dec 2018
Empty Noose
It follows me where ever I go,
That empty noose,
It calls to me,
Begging to bite my slender neck,
To snap it,
To distort it,
To embrace it lovingly,

It’s always hanging over my head, waiting for me to stumble,
When I make mistakes it snickers,
My throat grows stiff,
I can’t speak up,
Cause when I do, that empty noose constricts with joy hoping to finally fill itself with me,
So I’m ridiculed for not making my presence known,
I’m told that if I can’t be a team player I’ll have to find another job,

They can’t see that empty noose that never leaves my side,
So they’re convinced I don’t corporate out of spite,
They don’t see the dangerous dance I do to stay alive,
They just see me leaving early without explanation,
So they cast me aside,

That empty noose waits patiently,
So quietly, for a moment I forget it’s even there,
A fatal mistake, one slip and it’s wrapped it’s arms around me,
Squeezing shut the screams in my windpipe,
My thrashing legs do not call attention to strangers,
To them it looks like suicide,
All they see is a lonely soul who let go,
Not someone who fought everyday of their life to escape that empty noose.
If you ever feel suicidal please reach out whether it’s too me or a friend or family member.

tel:+18002738255

Above is a Canadian suicide hotline, never hesitate to call.
961 · Jul 2022
Murder Suicide
I killed someone for you-
And you were glad I did

I killed someone for you-
So you sold my soul for the highest bid

I killed someone for you-
You said it’d set me free

I killed someone for you-
What  I didn’t know
Was that the one I killed
Was me.
952 · Jan 2019
••
Life is but a blink of the eye,
Death is the real adventure.
950 · Jan 2019
a l o n e
He asked me “aren’t you afraid of being alone?”

I said “how could I be? I’m not even alone inside my head”
938 · Dec 2018
Tick, Tock.
Life waits for no one,
& I’m late.
A line from my poem “Tell my parents”
912 · Sep 2020
Who knew two dimples could make my whole world stop~
897 · May 2019
What’s a bird to a worm?
I asked him, “what is a bird to a worm”

He looked at me and grinned “Food”

I wrinkled my nose,  “but worms don’t eat birds”

He laughed at my innocence and replied, “they do when they’re dead, and one day they’ll eat you too”
714 · Dec 2018
Seasons
Autumn leaves blowing in the breeze,
Cool wind against my skin,
The seasons are changing as fast as I am,
So what does that mean for us?
Our summer romance is over,
Dry your tears before September turns them to dust,

Bundle up, wrap your arms in cotton,
Guard your heart against the winter chill that’s coming,
Build a fire to thaw your frigid limbs,
I can hear your bones crackling in the flames,

When spring arrives I hope some of our love survives,
These changing seasons,
as they flutter by,
Our skin once fresh and smooth,
Turned stiff and cracked like uncured   leather,

Where did the time go I wonder?
Our youth swallowed by time,
Taken in flashes of quickly aging months,
How many summers passed us by while our heads were in the clouds?

How long before we join the pebbles beneath our feet?
Will we get a chance to see one last season of bare trees,
A sea of red and orange littered upon the ground,
We are changing faster than the seasons.
Youth is fleeting, enjoy it.
684 · Jan 2019
Please take me higher,
but don’t let me come crashing down,

Because I don’t know how long I’d last,
Once I hit the ground.

        
643 · Aug 2021
Keep your distance.
I keep making the same mistakes in love,
Hoping that one day it’ll be enough,
But every time I get close,
Someone reminds me why I shouldn’t,
Someone steals my hope.
☹︎
Idk why I always convince myself that “this time it will be different”
When I was four my brother use to catch me snakes, and my sister would buy me donuts, my dad would take me fishing, and my mom would sing to me.

When I was five, my brother could only call me to say he missed me, my sister would write me letters, my dad would drink until the wee hours of the morning,
And my mom was just gone.

I remember sitting in the court house wondering what was happening

“He can have her”

And that was the last time my family was together.

My dad raised me on his own.
A single alcoholic father, raising a little girl
Was not something people were use too.

We lived in a small town, and so they would whisper about the mother who left me behind, and the father that was always drunk.

But even at 5 years old I didn’t mind being alone. My father loved me with all he had, I knew that in my bones.

So the years passed, just the two of us, in a house with empty bedrooms but not empty hearts. I became accustomed to taking care of my fathers hangovers, and walked myself to school, and every Mother’s Day I made my dad a card and picked my neighbors flowers to put in a vase. Though I wondered where my mother was, and why my siblings lived somewhere else, I never once wished my life where different. It was all I knew.
I learned to catch my own snakes, and my dad would buy me donuts, and take me fishing, and sing for me.

From time to time I’d cry silently in my bedroom, wondering why they left. But as I got older I understood that not every family is meant to stay together, that not everyone who has kids is ready to raise them, and that people can fall out of love.

These were all hard lessons, and I learned them early on, but I wouldn’t change a thing, it made me who I am.

My father did finally get sober, and my mother came back into my life, my brother had children, they hang off my arms when I visit, my sister calls me every week, I even have a new brother who looks up to me.

The three paper routes I had as a kid to help my father pay the bills taught me the importance of hard work, the long nights my dad partied taught me to appreciate a good nights sleep, and my family’s separation taught me to cherish what you have.

Nothing’s promised, anything can be taken, so live your life without regrets.
And don’t forget to tell your dad you love them, tell your mother your forgive her, and hug your siblings as often as you can.
542 · Jan 2019
I’m A User
I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,

My heads in the clouds but my body’s glued to the ground,
I’m in ecstasy, I know it’s just a fantasy,
But this highs got me dreaming of a better life,
These pills have me reaching for the light,
I don’t want to fight it, I want to give in,
So let’s smoke another little bit of sin,
Baby let’s get lost in it,
Baby let’s fall in love with it,
Everything will be okay as long as it’s lit,
Yeah we’ll be okay as long as it’s lit,

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,

I don’t feel anything, no nothing at all,
I want to forget so pass me the alcohol,
I’ve been searching for a solution, you’re the answer to all my problems,
I shoot you through my veins so I have the strength to fight my demons,
It’s got my fragile mind falling into pieces,
This addiction is a monster that needs me to feed it,
When did everything get so twisted,
**** how did I get so twisted,
The train back to sanity- yeah I must have missed it,

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,

You don’t take away my nightmares, your in them with me,
Instead of this empty shell, you give me hope of what I could be,
It’s a miracle I still exist,
Soon I’ll be making my exit,
By then I’ll be nothing but pieces,
I'll grind them up, rail lines of myself,
Is it to late to ask for help,
F*ck it, light it up,
Light me up,
Chase away the darkness,
I’m an addict, saving me is helpless,

I’m a user cause when I’m high I can convince myself it’s the drugs,
My life gets better as soon as the smoke hits my lungs,
I need your love, even if you’re what’s killing me,
I need your touch, cause it’s your poison that’s keeps filing me,
They say I’m lost, but who says I want to be found,
Just let me fade away, just let me fall down,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground,
Don’t pick me up, just let me fall until I’m buried in the ground.

Six feet under, I’m buried in the ground.
534 · Dec 2018
I am the Boogeyman.
Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and seen nothing?
No remorse, no pain, no sympathy, no anything. Just a vast ocean of emptiness.
A black hole, gaping, stretching straight to hell?

The back of your neck prickles, hairs stand up straight against your skin.
The air feels cold, your breath catching in your throat.


If you’ve ever come across a person such as that, I bet you prayed to god you’d never cross paths again.

What if I told you I see that every time I look in the mirror?
We are our own worst nightmare, everyone of us.

You can’t hide under the covers from the boogeyman if the boogeyman’s already in bed with you.
522 · Jun 2021
Versed.
You can never tell at the start
Whether they’ll be your biggest joy
Or another lesson learned
I can tell you this
It’s been some time since I’ve been
Blessed with joy
But I’ve learned so many lessons
That soon I’ll be a master in broken hearts.
❣︎
It’s been a while
It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you, even longer since I’ve seen you,
And although I miss you I’m glad you’re not around,

I’m relieved my phones not ringing at three am, cause every time I thought it’d be someone telling me your body has been found,

My heart breaks every time I see a recent photo of you, the sunken cheeks, the dark circles under your eyes,
Every time I think of how you’ve hurt your body, with every pill that touched your mouth came another string of lies,

I can’t stand the person you’ve become,
I wonder how something so tiny could bring along so much pain,
What Id give to wash away all your sins with a little bit of rain,

The last time you were at my house you promised you were clean,
But your words were slurred, and I could tell reality was less serene,

You fell asleep on my bed within minutes of arriving, I desperately wanted to believe that you were just tired, that this was a result of a year long battle finally won,

I told you I was proud of you,that I loved you, sent you on your way, but in my heart I knew, this war wasn’t done,

Two days later your aunt flushed a bag of pills down the toilet while you cried in the garage,
She gave you your life savings and told you to get lost,
Not because she doesn’t love you, but because she’s tired of the lies,
She doesn’t want to see the child she raised, slowly die in front of her eyes,

That day I knew I’d truly lost my best friend,
You’re living on borrowed time,
I pray every day that you overcome this,
All while knowing it’s close to the end,
If only the judge had ordered you into rehab when you got that DUI,
Maybe then we’d be celebrating your 90 days,
Instead of drying our eyes,

Opioids stole our friendship,
Please don’t let it steal your life,
I don’t have room in my closet for another black dress,
I don’t have room in my heart to fit the grief of another overdosed friend,
Please if there is a god, send her a helping hand,
Because I’ve tried everything I can think of to keep her from ending up in your land,
And honestly I think you have enough angels right now,
don’t take her from us yet,
I promise we will make it up some how,
And lord if you can lend us strength while you’re at it I’d appreciate the gesture,
I don’t know if I can take another broken promise or another “ I don’t need to go to rehab lecture”,

If only getting clean was as easy popping pills,
If only loving someone with an addiction didn’t leave me with constant chills,
If you’d have told me that by my mid 20’s half my friends would be dead or dying,
I’d have rolled my eyes and told you to stop lying,
But I guess we are all dying- you’re just dying faster than I am.
loving people with addiction is hard.
495 · Oct 2021
☹︎
𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚.
491 · Dec 2018
Sheep
You can be anything, but not everything,
So why do we keep making people our everything’s when we are struggling to find that one thing that makes us, us ?

Why do we bend over backwards for love but don’t take the time to invest in ourselves ?

Instead of seeking validation from other people we should should be validating our own worth,

But of course we can’t seem to shake the addiction of gathering likes on social media so we show a little more skin and clamp our mouths shut since society doesn’t value opinions anymore.

We are sheep in a sea of vanity and political correctness. All clamoring over each other trying to come out on top.

No one wants to be unique anymore because you can’t trend individuality on Twitter. We are so dependent on instant gratification that we sleep with our phones Incase someone likes our posts at 3 am.

When’s the last time you saw a kid playing outside? These phone screens are like prison glass.


We are sheep in a sea of vanity and political correctness.
488 · Dec 2018
Lust Games
You use to sneer at me,
As if you were better than me,
You use to look down at me through soft lashes,
You smoked so you could slowly choke me with ashes,
You would say "Without ME you are NOTHING",

Well I might not be much, but I AM something,
I will not stand in your shadow, I'll cast my own,
I won't let your self loathing deliver me into an early grave stone,

Although I must admit I crave the feeling of your flesh upon mine,
I want to slide your taste over my lips like fine wine,
Im slightly disgusted by this need to satisfy this primal hunger inside  me,
My body betrays me while an unnatural lust brings me to my knees,
The only good thing about you was your ability to ******,
Only through carnal cravings could we call a truce,

You thought that if you could make my body feel good I would need you,
You would tell me that the only thing I was good at was laying beneath you,
You tried to dig me up so that I couldn't bloom where I was planted,
You thought those fevered desperate kisses would keep me enchanted,

I left because I got tired of your lust games,
we don't share anymore perverted love claims,
When I think of you now I snicker, too no one in particular,
I liked how you were twisted and ******,

But thats all I liked about you,
Its funny how I was so drawn but also so repulsed by you,
I guess that means that I'm a little sick too,
I don't regret it though, cause then I'd have to admit that a part of me cared,
Try not to mourn the wicked temptations that we shared,

I'm fine on my own, are you;
450 · Dec 2018
Clouds
Even though you’re  the reason behind my pain,

I want you by my side when the clouds come,

Because the hurt will hide the rain.
446 · Jan 2019
Proverb
“How come the saddest writes
Seem to get all the likes?”

There’s literally a proverb for that,
Misery loves company;

Even in the 21st century.
I was thinking about this the other day
428 · May 2019
Morbidly hilarious.
I got a tattoo for my best friend,
It’s a tombstone,
And every time someone sees it they tell me “I’m so sorry for your loss”

I say that’s okay, she’s alive, we just have a morbid sense of humor,
And they look at me strangely,
Like there’s something wrong with me,
And I always reply,
If I can’t laugh at death, how can I live without fear of dying?

We are not promised tomorrow,
There’s a chance this second could be our last,
My lungs could refuse to **** in air,
Your heartbeat could stutter out at any moment,

Why worry about that ticking tick?
Let me laugh about it now,
So when death does come for me, just like he will come for you,
I can greet him as an old friend,
Instead of the monster we all dream of.
Side note, she has a matching tombstone tattoo.
426 · May 2019
Cavities
Im sitting in the dentist office while the doctor drills my teeth,
I wonder if they realize I’m so full of holes
I might slide right through this seat,
They can fill my cavities,
But They’ll never make me whole,
Cause they can fix my teeth,
But they can’t fix my soul.
I’m actually at the dentist right now.
420 · Jan 2019
Butterfly.
I won’t let your expectations suffocate me,
I won’t conform to this,

Like a caterpillar in a cocoon,
I’m going through a metamorphosis.
412 · Jan 2019
Willingly Damned
I wish I believed in soul mates,
But that would require me to have a soul,

It’s not that I am cold or cruel,
It’s just if I believed souls were real;
Then i would also have to believe
In reincarnation,

And I’ll be ******
If I have to spend
Another
Lifetime
With
You.
403 · Jan 2019
Paper ✈️
Most of us are just paper planes,
Trying to become origami cranes.
389 · Dec 2018
You Left First.
I miss how it use to be,
The days of you and me,
Two halves that shaped one whole,
For you I sold my soul,
After a month without words
Things have changed,
And I long for those things
To be the same,
I had all I ever wanted
Until you broke me in two,
Why did you force me to
Live a life without you?

Three cold months have passed me by,
Just as I was ready to say goodbye,
You appeared in the dead of night
You asked “do you want me to stay?”
I answered honestly “ baby I can’t handle when your heartbreak comes back another day”

You said you were sorry for the pain and the tears,
But you can’t undo the rains and the fears,
It’s best that we set what we had once free,
We both know it wasn’t meant to be,
You left me waiting in the cold,
You expected me to put my life on hold,
Now I’m gone, and your standing where I stood,
Because you left first, like I always knew you would.
Updated version of a poem I wrote when I was 15
367 · Oct 2020
•|•
ɪ sᴀɪᴅ,
      
  "𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘶𝘴𝘵"

       . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . .   ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢʀɪɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ.
366 · May 2019
One Mans Trash
I should have paid more attention to the things you threw away;
If I had, maybe I’d still have my broken heart today.
331 · Apr 2019
~~~~~~~~
I see you drowning while I’m breathing,
Tell me how to save you,
I swear I’ll give you everything~
320 · Dec 2018
Blinded.
I feel myself wearing down like a wax candles melted flame,
Left all my bridges burned and I only have myself to blame,
They say love is blind, but how could I have been so blind if it wasn’t love?
Everything we had was a lie, everything I was just wasn’t enough,
Now I’m left bleeding in the dirt,
Because I couldn’t make it work,
Me and you, it should have been so easy,
But the equation got complicated as soon as we started adding other people to it,
Me and you, it should have been so easy,
But you weren’t loyal and I knew it,
I feel like Humpty Dumpty, you knocked me off the wall and left me to bleed,
So I’m left here in pieces, on a pair of broken knees,
Now all I know is pain,
All I feel is ice in my veins,
As I’m getting older, I’m getting colder,
And your whose to blame,
Your words never meant sh*t,
And every day if you silence keeps proving it,
I never wanted to watch you walk away,
If I made a move, would you have stayed?
I know your not suppose to ponder the past,
But I feel myself moving backwards just to make it last,
How is it possible to miss something we never had?
All the light in my eyes has faded, I’m alive but inside I feel dead,
I hate it when my heart refuses to listen to my head,
I’m left screaming at the skies because no one else will listen,
Loving you was a mission,
Well consider it aborted, just like the unborn child that was living in my stomach,
But you couldn’t stomach it, so I literally had to stomach it,
No support for you, you literally tried to run from it,
But you can’t run from responsibilities so I had to take care of it,
Cause I knew we couldn’t take care of it,
I wasn’t going to bring a baby into a world that couldn’t properly love it,
And now I have to live with it, I hope it’s on your conscience,
And you can’t sleep at night because of it,
It was supposed to be through thick and thin,
But when things got thick, you became thin and were gone with the wind,
Now I’m standing alone wondering how to cope,
So I turn to the dope, and hope this time it’s the end,
But I guess it’s never really the end,
So I hope when I get reincarnated I don’t meet you again.
I buried one friend last August,
I buried another one last month,
For a year I’ve struggled to help another friend over come addition and failed,
Another person: who kept me sane through my wild teenage years, buried his girlfriend recently, and in turn he buried his feelings with drugs and alcohol, we celebrated his one year of sobriety only a few months ago, no one ever mentioned how morbid your 20’s could be.

So inclusion I think pharmaceutical company’s should have to include “ heartbreak” on their labels, as a side effect too opioids.
I know death is just another part of life, but I never thought I’d have to deal with so much of it before I’d even lived a quarter of a century. Reality is a harsh mistress.
314 · Jan 2019
Truth hurts.
You’re the beautiful lie
&
I’m the painful truth.
309 · Jul 2019
-
-
What if I’m not the good guy?
I’ve been thinking about this lately, because I don’t think anyone sees themselves as the bad guy, as the villain, but some of us definitely are.
302 · Dec 2018
Miss you.
I
Said I’ll see
You tomorrow
But
For him
Tomorrow never
Came.
From my poem August 25
289 · Feb 2020
^^
^^
You must be the devil,
My head knows you’re bad news but my heart still skips for you,
I know every kiss is blasphemy,
Every touch leading me straight to hell,
But I can’t get enough of your poison,
Desperate to feel your eyes staring at my skin,
You must be the devil,
And I’ve welcomed you in.
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