Writing has been my means of expressing my thoughts. Writing has been my way of expressing what I feel, to burst out my emotions. In writing, no one will judge you personally, face to face. Because in writing, you are alone by yourself, just you.

I write because I'm happy.
I write because I'm sad.
I write because I'm in pain.
I write to express myself.

I write tonight.

Darkness,
you always surprises me
of your appearances.
Sometimes you would appear beautiful and nice.
Sometimes you would appear
scary and dreadful.

Darkness, would you find me
Someone who would make me friends with you?
Just by holding his hands
I won't be afraid of you.

12.13.14 this day, my day
I was given another year to live
Another year to grow
Another year to start a new

This day have made me realize
Realize that I have to let you go
Let go of the thoughts of you
Let go and never have to look back

I was then never remembered by you
I was never been special for you
I can say you were never mine
And I will never be yours

I have thought for days and hours
But you never remembered my day
As you have told me you would be
Would be there when it will come

They understand you.
They accept you.
They make fun of you.
They compliment you.
They are thankful for you.
They love you.
They are your friends.

Thoughts of you are killing me
I don't know how and why
This is just how you affect me
And I want this gone

Sometimes near
Sometimes far
You make me confused
On what we really are

I hate you for being like that
Don't know what you did
You have left with no goodbyes
But still haunting me with your mem'ries

If I told you I love you,
Would you save my heart and soul
From being broken?
Would you love me too?
Would you save me
And pick up these broken pieces
And put it together
To make me learn to love again?

I thought having this done would change me. But, all I have understood now is that I made a scar to myself, a scar that would always remind me that I was so deeply into someone and it was gone. I thought it would make a change in my life, a new beginning. Instead, I would always be reminded of what happened because of this. Thus, this would always be a part of my story, a story to be told to someone who would accept me and would wait for me whatever it takes to be by my side.

You are so friendly.
We get together easily.
Talked and laughed,
Teased and loved.

Something changed.
I needed space.
You understoood
And I left.

Years after, I was good.
I got back.
We were together again.
Still friends no matter what happened.

But now, I don't know.
Just recently you changed.
You were one of my most trusted friend.
But now all I could say is I don't know.
You've changed.

Slowly, night falls.
She remembers him.
The time where they constantly exchange words.
Words of life's experiences
Happiness or sadness, darkness or brightness.
But now, his gone.
Leaving the story line undone.

Experiences.
It's something undergone,
Planned and unexpectedly done.
Perhaps, an element of life.

Experiences.
Either positive or negative
It brings mistakes and lessons
Perhaps, an essence of life.

Experiences.
Shared or not
It shows the real you.
Perhaps, a story of your life.

Experiences.
It will always be a subject.
Undergone by all, all of ages.
Perhaps, the good thing 'bout life.

She is suffering.
Her energy is draining.
Day by day, little by little
Her thoughts are going deeper
Deeper and deeper as the oceans.
She is fighting within herself
But sadness always dominate.
Starting to isolate herself
Never going out with friends
Always have her own reasons not to
This and that, No because
Really isolating herself
Face always at the web
Posting and liking things
Things she wish to be glued
Glued to her mind and soul
But all she wants is someone
Someone to push her to encourage her
But no one sees it, no one feels it.
All of her thoughts
She is always fighting it
She knows she could make it
She knows she could change
But at this moment
She needs time, longer time
She wants to be alone
She wants to escape
She wants to sleep for a long time
She wants to cry
But time wouldn't allow her to
All she could do is to isolate herself
Isolate to protect herself
Isolate for her to be strong
Isolate for her to realize
Realize that to isolate herself is not the answer.
Never the answer.

How did I ever got this?
Is this the price of giving so much time for you?
I never imagined I could be sick of this.
I have lived my life healthy
But then it came
I lost an amount of it
I lost a lot of amount of it
I lost an amount of blood
Ohh that's why I'm getting dizzy easily
And now living life so badly
Can't imagine this happened because of sleepless nights
Can't imagine this happened because of you
Now, I lost myself because of you
Got ANEMIA as a result
Wishing to wake up with amnesia

She suffered the situation.
Sleepless nights
Empty wallet
Unfinished food
Undone homeworks
Confused mind
Broken friendship
Unworthy decisions
Physical tiredness
Disturbed emotions
She thought of it all.
Asked herself how the hell did this happen?
How did I let this happen?
Of all the things
It is all unworthy
It all happened
It will never be back
Pushing the thoughts away
Changing herself day by day
Always telling herself
It is all unworthy
Thus, allowing herself to hate
Hate of doing those
Hate of believing those
Nonetheless, it all boils done to one
*It is all unworthy

She risked on trying a new experience,
An experience that came without permission,
Permission if she would allow it at the moment.
But still, it didn't matter to her.

She was so into the situation,
Gave so much time and effort
Even if, her sleep would be disturbed.
But still, it didn't matter to her.

She invested so much of her emotions,
Gave much care and attention
Even if, she was not efforted back.
But still, it didn't matter to her.

She spoke about love and its emotions,
Asked and gave advices about it
Even if, she was doubtful about it.
But still, *it didn't matter to her.

How?
Your face keeps haunting me
The memories keeps on playing
Conversations are always repeating

How could I be able to forget you?

How?
I believed your promises
I was drowned with your words
I thought it was love

**How could I be able to forget you?

I wish to undo all the things I've done
To turn back time
I wish some things didn't happen
But,could I still rewind it and change?

There were things that made me happy
But, mostly were tragic and sad
It all happened unexpectedly
But, could I still rewind it and change?

There will always be situations in our life,
Situations we never thought could happen
But, still it happened to us.
But, could we still rewind it and change?

Truthfully, things done can't be undone.
We couldn't rewind it
But, we have the chance to change it.
*Change it and learn from it.

As the night grows deeper, I was wide awake.
Being alone and feeling cold, Situations I couldn't take.
Their is someone I'm waiting for
Wishing him to open the door.

They left me in this castle
To trap you and win the battle
But still, I know that you are strong
And winning wouldn't take you so long.

I will be here waiting for you.
Even if the red roses would turn to blue.
It is your name my heart is calling
And those promises are the one's I'm holding.

I remembered the time we made our promises,
In a place full of red roses,
You kissed me on my forehead
And "I Love You" was what you said.

You arrived when sunset came
And I was running shouting your name.
I was very happy and I hugged you so tight
But, a drop of blood came into my sight.

I begged you not to close your eyes
As I was very afraid like I have seen a mice.
But "I Love You" was all I heard.
Leaving me wounded and tired.

You're a man that is strong
And your patience is long.
Every work that you had,
You worked for it very glad.

I can see a man full of determination,
A man that always has his contribution
Cause i know that, affection,
Is always your intention.

You showed to us your love
That was given to you from heavens above.
Your love is very evident
That, it is a factor in our every achievement.

In every hard times you face,
Your emotions doesn't show in place.
Even if you doesn't show
In our hearts we always know.

Just remember that we are here
Ears open to hear
Hearts open to feel
And minds open to deal.