I am so close
to saying goodbye,
to being finished
because I can't
live anymore.

I walk about
with a smile on my face
while my insides are being
ripped apart,
with a mask so heavy
it encases my body
so densely and restricting
while withering away
whatever is left inside
slowly killing it.

As the stars shine in the dark night sky, my heart shines upon your soul.
The flame encases them, flowing through them, around them
Descending upon the earth they separate
Journeying to find each other again
I will never stop seeing you for what you are.

Her eyes are a fiery world of emotion, volcanic
The depth is endless, shaken from the reality of this world
Soft gentle skin, smooth, unseen perfection
Her mind an endless ocean of thought
She breathes, searching, for the flame that burns within

His mind battered from the constant misunderstanding
The past is over and his new beginning is overdue
Searching for the taste of all that he knows, Searching for the flame that burns within

The universe sets it’s plan in motion
It’s an inevitable fate
Two souls searching, working toward this certain conclusion.
The flame is cast, frequency’s align

Ascending far above the earth
The flames merge once again, bound by destiny
And again the flame encases them, following them into eternity
Forever searching for the merging of the twin flame.

Mania. Everything was good when you were with me.

I felt normal. The chains bolted to my eyelids where magically gone, like the money in your bank account after a heavy, drunken, stupor & forthright gambling spree.

The spear in my side that your twin brother, depression, threw inside me was no longer twisting up my insides. Thank you.

This feels like a goodbye letter but I'm actually trying to hold on to you. You give me life. Your twin takes it away and he rash-burns my face in it.

I was accomplishing all the things; skipping from one stone to the next without feat. "Flutter your wings and dance," is your motto.

But like all good things, you drive me away, knowing that I'll see you again.

Try as I might, I remain faithful to you, but you commit adultery every week.

Sometimes you demand my time, even when I'm low. I cry for hours with your natural dichotomy, not because I can't decide--I can--but because you and your twin rip me apart in twain, changing my reality as sure as the rain falls in the Amazon.

The demons call out to me, whispering evil into my mind. I believe every evil thing when I am not armed with your brilliance. I lose that perspective, every time, and sometimes immediately.

Your twin brother and cousin visit me early in the morning right before bed time. If my doubts and fears are real, then my mind's eye is experiencing a real reality, and thus I am as I feel, like a plastic bag tumbling in the wind.

Yet, everyone reminds me that I am but a joke and a comic, one which not even you can trust.

The biggest asset I lose when you choose to cheat on me is your energy--that precious flow that bears my creative passion.

But now I am barren, an unfit conduit that is incapable of maintaining that flow. The demon upon me powerfully weaves its tapestry of sludge that encases my mind.

My mind, it's the only thing I have left. And yet, I can never trust it.

You've lied to me before and you'll lie to me in the future.

But for now, I'll have to make do with your half-truths.

Until next time.

The black shawl-like quality
Of the nothingness
Wraps itself around everything.
A constant emptiness
That makes all full.
Its veins run blue
And gold and scarlet
And every hue between,
It dies as it arises.

The nothingness embraces all,
Easily, it encases me.
In everything and anything.
And that which I lack
I supplement with hope.
A chain mail lie linked
With fragile expectations
Of love and other drugs,
Other falsifications.


This tapestry holds whispers,
Secrets and blueprints
To all of creation.
Globes of dying light
That crash in the dark.
But alas I can see
Its stars are not cross'd
For me [cue tears],
I fear my script is lost.

Perhaps when the dopamine
Corrodes and rots my brain,
My soul will take the reins.
Connected to the cosmos
It tells me everything,
But yea, it shows me nothing
Except tantalising flashes
Of what could be,
In its swirls of red and azure.

The key to the lock
to the door to the room
with the chest that encases
your heart

is buried just off
the Nā Pali Coast
in the sands of the
Pacific.

To the first boy
Who broke my heart
Telling me that cheating
Is really no big deal.

"I forgive you."

To the person who
Wasn't paying attention,
Texting and driving,
Then colliding with me.

"I forgive you."

To the man who thought
It was a good idea
To break my heart,
And his fiancé's too.

"I forgive you."

To the one who said
He loved me,
Yet in public
Wouldn't touch me.

"I forgive you."

To the friend who
Wasn't really a friend,
Pushed himself into me
Without hearing my pleas.

"I forgive you."

To the man who decided
To have *** with her,
Resulting in a pregnancy
That ruined us.

"I forgive you."

To every person
Who has hurt me
In one way or another,
Small or great.

"I forgive you."

To the person who
Can't find it in themselves
To offer forgiveness
Due to overwhelming pain.

"I forgive them for you."

To those who decided
To give this poem a read,
Tell me now if you think
The world is a little brighter.

If not, "I forgive you."

If you cannot find
Love in you, know
"I forgive you"
For the hate in your heart;

For the cold that now
Encases you,
Not permitting that
Forgiveness to take hold;

To love those who
Have hurt us before,
To care because
We all have those days,

To smile and spread
The warmth of love,
To hold someone else
Because you know the ache.

"I forgive you"
For the hate.
"I forgive you"
For the anger.

"I forgive you"
For the lust.
"I forgive you"
For the danger.

Remember to forgive,
We are all the same
Sinners in this hell,
And living in pain.

– billiondays

your freshly kissed skin
smells of raindrops and thunder.

when you lie close to me at night,
i imagine we're in a storm
and the only thing left is
you and me.

when we are awaiting
the final drops
to wrench themselves loose
from the ever-greedy sky,

we lie together under the sheets.
skin to skin.
heart to heart.
soul against soul.

i love the feel of
your freshly kissed skin,
and i love the way you smell my hair.

i love the way your body
encases mine,
so close.

where does your skin begin?
where does mine end?

it makes it feel
perpetual.

the smell after the storm
that binds us closer
reminds me of you,

even when we are apart,
i think of you and me that day.

i love you.

xoxoxo

Night night
Sweet dreams
I doze
Until slumber encases my bones
and gentle rest befalls my eye
This time Nights my demise

I lay peaceful awake till I go
To the land of nod and below
From my mouth emits a yawn
The task will be complete before dawn

Sleep tight
Sleep well
Sleep
my love
Let only dreams flow above

So now shut your eyes
and think of blues skies
Night night
Sweetdreams
I doze.

A body encases a heart and a mind,
No simpler answer could you ever find,
Look deeper inside,
What lurks within,
Beneath a mantle of silken skin,
Skin with a face that sports a smile,
With eyes that twinkle, sparkles sprinkled,
Some have tresses that glow in the light,
Under the hair, the location of care,
The seat of emotions, locked up in a head,

A neck, slender supports along with a spine,
Arms to hold close, to cosset and care,
Rib cage encases the heart of poetic art,
The heart when she functions, is easily broken,
When love falls apart, it cuts through the heart,

A series of chemical interactions,
Disturbed a great deal by other's reactions,
Bodies are beautiful temples,
A place to retreat,
Bodies need pampering to keep them sweet,
So look after yours well,
Treat it kind,
Respect your body,
Respect your mind!

By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

as insanity depicts my pride,
I look at you in a way that I can't look at anyone else,
as you are constantly on my mind,
and the droplets fall in a way like never before.

you're heart encases me,
consuming everything I have within its arteries,
each thought becomes more liquefied,
as I try to stop the pain.

"she wouldn't want you doing this"

I tell myself time and time again,
yet still as the capsule slips past my lips,
I find some kind of release in the burning sensation,
that starts to simmer in my throat.

your eyes, I try to picture your eyes...
yet still you are not here for me to see them in flesh,
one look from you and I would stop,
but one look is something you will not give.

relapse...

a pain that cannot be fathomed by a blade,
as you drag it from your elbow to your wrist.
I was a month clean but I can't help it now,
my body is dead.

Pain is a placid thing,
yet somehow it holds a power over me,
but, when I am with you it seems...
... that the hold it has is simply gone.

I can't seem to rendeer the thoughts of my childhood,
as I continue to do the inevitable,
have I slipped back into my old ways...
... Have I gone too far to go back now.

Relapse...

Relapse...

Relapse...

I am sorry I have let you down,
I am sorry that my callous ways are somewhat spiteful,
I may not have much self esteem,
but I know that I am selfish...

was I selfish in my dealings with you?
in the way I handled your gorgeous smile.
not that I recall..
yet I feel as though I have somehow

left, not to be welcomed back,
into you're arms of grace that make me collapse...

drag me out of this pit
save me from this relapse.

Lighting a candle before my bedside,
I slip a small piece of my past
underneath the brass holder
to catch the waxy overflow.

A pink envelope addressed to
(my love)
encases the torn and tattered teardrop-filled
piece of stationery paper.

Your words mush together with the
slight scent of beeswax and sage
and my mind wanders off to an unknown place

3 am:
Awaking to the smell of
an almost-smoke
burning my nostrils

burning my curtains
Is this what it was like
loving me?

Loving you was an ongoing river
each rush getting away from me
the second I felt it
while the rocks, the biggest burdens,
stay in place,
unmoved, unsolved

The light of the candle flickers
as I watch the fiery masterpiece
flow over the room

I lit the candle before my bedside.
I knew the consequences,
repercussions
of loving you.

Rose as red
As the crimson
Blood within.
Petals fall
One by one.
Stem as bright
As a healthy
Green hill.
Thorn as sharp
As a razorblade.
Brown and yellow
Slowly encases
The one true
Rose.

I can          h ea r
a      dream,
( ( (vibrating) ) )
through my third e y e

      echoes   dan c e
from the walls,
a    l i g h t   passes
through   the prism
that         encases--
      the heart.

                              \i|o|u/
                            he tells me
                     yet I expect nothing.
                more of the same patterns

Every thing       is
a good omen,
so whispers the air
outside a bar of Narnia.

             The banana bread beer flows
              through
                      our glasses like an amber
                 whirlpool tsunami glistening in the afternoon light.
                  a pleased smile rests on a face,
             comfort,
        relaxation and a
      full mind.

Deep sleep
for a while.
Contentment is *exhaled.

Love is a cold war,
I'm a colder soldier.
My heart has become barren,
A frozen wasteland.
Cracked like the ice
That encases it.
Its been the target
Of many a snowball's chance.
So now I hold
Strong and cold
With weapons in hand
Prepared for this cold war
Which has made me
Even colder.

Two hearts encased,
chased by a full moon overlooking the black and lucid night.
Like a bright contrasting white light spotlight on things to be.
Mine to yours and yours to me.
Two hearts into one,  
the one moon spills a mana spell akin to an infinite, everlasting spoken rune over the ages.
Our stories into one,
Our hearts bond,
timeless...unsung,
It’s skips progressive stages,
beyond words on pages,
in this quiet moment past the reach of the Sun.
The fullest moon,
the furthest reach,
high in the sky contrasting the black lack of light,
night’s version of high noon.

Emboldened to fold into and hold onto you so often,
bending,
blending,
transcending so tight even our souls share light.
Eyes shut, sealed from light,
we feel and grasp and clasp and clinch at every body-inch,
sparking darkest days into brightest nights...
then, all over again, I see you, I pull you close,
and so it begins again this morning or this day or this night.

PART 2
The ****, salty taste of your waist encases a place in my brain forever.
You depart...we’re apart...
Miss you fiercely,
love you deeply,
to hold you near,
feel my fears leave me,
if only I could just see thee.
My next morning starts anew with more thoughts of you and how completely I see thee as part of the whole sum of who I suddenly aspire to be.

With every rolling tumble and sweet embrace,
with every chanced glance to give chase,
with every coy kissing peck on my neck,
with every wept tear of joy
with every breath or soulful laugh you employ,
I beseech you,
Mate to my soul,
woman to this man,
girl to this boy,
my heart,
my love,
my trust are yours to have,
to hold,
to embold...
laid bare to infirm or destroy.

By R. Craig David-Copyrighted 2017

Lies are used to Build Walls
Lies are used to Barcade our true selves in.
Lies are used to Hide what we think is wrong
Lies are used to Build a fase world that encases us and destroys our humanity.

The silence of the night
Encases you,
A dark, silky cocoon
That envelopes all
Feelings of ugliness
And insecurity,
You hang upside down,
Suspended in thought
As the respiration of nature
Breathes in the thick
Black air,
Then as the sun spills
Over the horizon
Like a volcano,
And the faint paint strokes
Of sunlight sets the cocoon
On fire,
All doubt melts away
And you realise
You are beautiful.
Wings spread wide,
A spectrum glimmering
Through each translucent
Fibre,
You take flight
And leave the remains
Of the shell you once were.

Claustrophobia sets in with the Sun in the West. Petrichor fills my lungs.
Not even the purifying winds of the Dawning Monsoon can erase the Blackness that has captured my thoughts.
The Sea so vast and blue, is nothing more than an Empty vessel of unending Misery. Grey. Grey everywhere.
The depth is Merciless, the Frothing waves; Crushing.
Swallowed. Eaten alive by my sorrow and that of the Worlds'.
The weight lies heavy on my Incapable shoulders.
I yearn to shed these Chains that bind me. But they bite too hard.
Pinching flesh. Drawing Blood.
I fall to my knees, Naked and Defenseless. Surrendering myself to their Mercy.
The cold wind encases me in its Shroud, leaving me Numb.
I can't breathe. Air. Air. So much of it, None for me.
Blood carpets the Cold marble floor.
Freckled with Red.
I can't scream. I am past fear.
Speed increases. Motions pass. The world dances.
Leaving me in its wake,
Drawing Blood.

i am

i. made of convergence of words, stems & ink.

never one to love geography but knowledgeable enough to know of the convergence of twenty six letters, wilted life givers and pigments that forms my skin. you can keep the feather light secrets resting on the petals―i only want the stem, the xylem, the phloem; to support my fragile state. you can be the pigment that stains my skin like the sun rise and sun sets i entrapped from Mother Nature. it is unfortunate the light has lost its way amongst the maze that is my veins, but i can be your light at the end of the tunnel if you don’t mind a flickering hesitant radiator. when you have mastered Taking Things Apart Without Killing, come to me and unpick the threads in my skin. maybe you’ll learn more about the words that latched upon me and if you’re lucky enough, you may uncover a raw portion i’ve hidden away. don’t forget the Lock N Lock container.

ii. held together by creaky cartilage

never one to study human anatomy but interested enough to read up and find out that i am held together by two hundred and six bones. the clavicle cradles liquefied pieces of you and the patella locks to allow the world to rest its burden on my shoulders. the sternum pieces itself and encases the lump of muscle that keeps me breathing, and cranium holds the Boss of my body. you can pick my spine and play it like a flute but please be careful for nothing resides in them. nothingness clots up my veins; nothingness fills the space between my bones; nothingness slowly taking over my senses. your October poetry piece stings me like the harsh winter wind, blows across the land and reduces my cartilage to dust. hold me like you would a newborn baby for i do not take supplement pills and i am the result of several fractured wrists & hips.

iii. harboring galaxies & objects inside

never one to take up Astronomy but aware that i harbor several milky ways and universes among the frantic chaos of every *****. flowers blossom in the crevices of my wrist bones and butterflies and birds of unnamed species flutter around in the comfort of my rib cage, just as pixies and sprites sleep and sing Church songs in the palms of my hands. sequinned galaxies swirl around in microscopic areas and i will expand until my seams burst only for me to bleed gold dust and crumpled stars. these tidal waves inside of my head won’t stop crashing until someone wakes me up to make sense of what i am and the meaning of lif

We learn from the time that we are fresh and impressionable like wet clay, that every morning when we wake up the first thing we do before we thank god we woke up at all, or before we groan and turn off the alarm, we don our safety goggles that shield our eyes from all the pain and suffering in front of us allows us to cope, blinds us to the truth and reality of the depravity that encases us, in addition these handy dandy safety goggles keep us complacent and resistant to change and improvement. As we go through life the lenses change, affected by the influences we fall under, sometimes a moment of understanding hits and we see it all...Pain, all consuming soul eating grief, mourning all that has been lost or has disappeared...But at that moment I think it is the only time the true beauty of the world can be appreciated, because without the pain the beauty fades to the background unnoticed unappreciated...So now all there is to do is to wake up every morning and see everything all at once and fight against the ingrained blindness and the delusional desire for "pure and simple happiness hold the reality please "

it's nice to know it's not for naught
there's value in what can't be bought
where my plans convene with thought
i invest different kind of plot

honeycomb are to the bees
as madness is to mysteries
and are polite priorities
nectar of insecurities?

the recounted sheep are bleating/(bleeding)
cry of wolf to deaf misleading
as i bray again repeating
every note so self-defeating

thrown about the limbs of trees
chaos with-in-discrepancies
that which we melt just to freeze
wring tangles such as these

my journey is while they sleep
shepherdess lost counted sheep
the edge, again, to fall or leap
for flight first failure grade so steep

My white whale wild in the seas
This ship no sail, nor north agrees
Ever-spurning taste of tease
I am ahabs intricacies

to illusion am i ******
eternally roaming the land
through burning thirst for empathy
-i'm plagued with insecurity

in an old biblical story
mortal glimpsed our father's glory
From that instant's blinding light
was driven mad took his own sight

if i could measure and define
truth and where it draws the line
which cliff faces only mine
encases truly, i am fine

chronic illness violently
supressing luminocity
onlookers hang silently
as ash consume ferocity

speed builds on tracks in my train
I know this is too fast, again
upon myself, 'you dare complain,
without reference to real pain?'
all avert their eyes, refrain
saying nothing is my bane
am i alone and insane?
this focus that i can't explain?
creating reason for my pain
purpose for and by diseased brain

I noticed the lack of a word!
Not everyone noticed.

It's but one word that it lacks.
A very special word...

It encases many different emotions.
It's an endearing and meaningful word.

It's also, the most over used word.
But, I see that it is as you intended.

a bit over a year of efforts, I
admirably

return your stubborn affections, directing romantic intentions towards you.

with your heart

Exalted in the remembrance of your existence, I

sigh towards the heavens,
the hells,
the Earth with her mountainous regions and varied terrains,

the sky and her innumerable
galaxies and novas should come hither and listen to the treasure of a lover. I

sigh

the miracle

of your name,

as though it were the answer to every question that has ever mattered.

I weep as the layers of my heart tighten at the sound of your sorrow, it constricts and feels to twist and rob me of senses and oxygen.

please smile and gift that treasured breath of air into my lungs.

should I now mention, that
for some inexplicable reason,

I love you?

Find comfort in my voice.
Feel free to unravel tears of the hardships endured in this life's trials, upon my shoulder

as I do my best to gently recover the fallen shards of every loss you've suffered, with my tender hands and your sharpened memories we'd find a way to salvage the most of these losses.

let me adorn your scar filled soul with a balm of my own making.

let me bring you
a sea of solace to delve into.

Would an infinite caress of kisses, a tsunami of age old yearnings and present desires satisfy your crave for love?

Would I need another person to fill the shoes you decorate the doorstep of my heart with?

With the place mat adorned with an intricately designed Persian rug which display a blooming garden of both our favourite flowers in a way that'd perfect the unusual combination of my tropical forests and your poetic love of romantic flora.

A sight, regardless of how many times seen encases the onlooker in a feeling of love and comfort.

It will say,

" Welcome home my love "

And there will be song birds in the trees,
there will be wind dancing with leaves,

On the eve of summer I will snuggle myself near you, to muster the courage to read you the poetry I'd written all before we'd made it known to those who mattered that we belonged to the other.

Friendly reminder that,

I love you.

And the answer to needing anyone aside from you?

The answer is no.

No one can amount to the endless stream of shooting stars you give me to wish upon, and for you to make a reality.

No one else,
can say my name with such reverence,

that to any who didn't know about us,

my name alone seemed to be one of the most holy and savored of things?

To whisper on a night of troubled sleep as your fingers weave their way to mine, interlocking and silently promise to never let go of this.

This overflowing love..

Why wouldn't I want to keep it?

Every emotion is clearly displayed
No matter how hard you try to mask it.
You don’t understand,
You can’t lie, and if you do,
Then why should I trust you.
Tell me why!
How long do you plan,
To lie to me?
keep secrets?
Play games?
How long will I put up with it all.
No more!
I’m done!
Please just leave me alone
Take your overwhelming force away.
If you come back, I swear,
There won’t be a cliff high enough for you to fall from,
To amount to the pain you have caused me.
Oh God help me,
I can’t stand her anymore!
She is the Devil,
That chose to hurt me.
Her secrets ****.
And I have never felt so betrayed
In my entire life.
In this web of lies
that encases this very companionship
that I have once felt,
and turns it into
a smoldering mess,
of secrets.
in their piles,
and piles,
of lies.

A young woman closing in on independence
Like it is a dreadful thing
Other young women
Excited, mesmerized, elated by the sense of freedom
She can taste the separation like food

Sadness permeates the flesh of youth
Spreads into the arteries of life
Almost a feeling of suffocation ensues
Others happiness caresses the flesh
Spreads into the arteries singing with fire
Unable to contain the elation!

Clouds form all around as separation is coming
A time of exploration and inhibitions weigh heavily
Loneliness, isolation, and unbearable anxiety overwhelm the brain
Happiness, exaltment, and a sense of power explode inside the other

The girl enjoyed life so much until now
Parents are much older than most
Fear encases the once boisterous heart
Everywhere talk of blossoming, answering to no one
Boundaries erased, getting older, wiser, excites

Dark thoughts of being alone fill her with anguish
Parents dying before she begins to live plays on her psyche
Children not knowing their grandparents, No! Turn back time
Please she cries!
The other cares not of these things only to get out
Into the world of money, jobs, romance, parties
Parents being a chore now just having to appease them
Loving them but finally FREEDOM!!!

One leaves home feeling weight of life crushing dreams
The other so happy to get away from meddling, curfews, and eager to carve her own mark.

Which will live the better life?
Who will be happy?
Free?
Love and be loved?
Will despair turn to death or endless fulfillment?
Will elation turn to destruction and loneliness?

Do you know which is a young woman you know?

Written by:  Jennifer Humphrey  10/12/2014 copyright 2014

This is mania.
This is so much buzzing in my brain I can't break free
This is writing poetry at 2 AM
(Bad poetry)
This is crying hysterically for no reason
This is hallucinating
(Or am I dreaming with my eyes open?)
This is...oh, look at the time...it's 4 AM already?
This is screaming and punching myself in the arm over trivial matters
This is talking to the ex boyfriend
This is sleeping with the ex boyfriend
This is sleeping with anyone who looks at you
This is not thinking about it twice
This is I'm not very productive
This is realizing I haven't slept an ounce
This is I'm even bad at being manic depressive.

This is depression.
This is pumping a gallon of caffeine into my bloodstream just to get out of bed
This is forcing a faux smile on my face day to day
This is wanting to reopen wounds on my wrists that have been healed for two years
This is wearing his agony and his guilt on my shoulders like a heavy book bag
This is everything hurts, can I go home and sleep yet?
(After all, I didn't sleep last night.)
This is no makeup, don't care
This is I'm ugly anyway
This is I don't care about school
This is I am too fearful about the future
This is I am too fearful about everything
This is the anxiety that encases my body
This is the dread that fills my lungs
This is every desire to relapse
This is no productivity
This is why am I so sad today?
(Yet I'm not sad enough for someone to notice.)
This is I'm even bad at being manic *depressive.

lost in my train of thought
music is guidin me
no signs of slowin down
snap me back to reality
cuz baby i'm cruzing
where i'll end only i will kno
unless we stay connected
follow me
intertwined with my mind, telepathy
see what i see
life movin fast
billboards displayin moments in the past
bluring out negativity
regret's a strong *******
its been holding on too long to me
a tear streaks down her face and it tears down another side of me
a shadow encases her whole and suddenly i can no longer see
i can her whisper the words
"please just stay away from me"
until she fades
moving on...
a young man approaches me
I shake his hand
finally ready to face the world he decides to turn his back on me
stunned i look on
until i realize he's no longer within my reach
another door closes...
another one opens and i'm blessed with a childs laughter
the silhouette struggles to stand trying to find balance
if only he could comprehend the lessons being taught to him
he falls and regardless he tries again to accomplish what he sees others have acheieved
determination...
I turn to find a wall
texture is rough but presense is familiar
strong and unbreakable
and yet i chip away at its will as the years fade
cold, no longer as strong as before
easily breakable
no longer can you defend us
stand behind me
let's see what i'm made of,
please let me try
I can't stand to see you fall and i know i never say it but
Mama you mean too much to me...
Found but still lost
a mirror in front of me
confused to discover
exactly whats become of me.

I had another nightmare
About my life and you
I know your ok
But this one its hard to forget

I make my way down a dark hall
My hands brush the sides so I dont fall
The walls feel wet
Is it paint or is it blood
Im afraid to find out

I make my way to a room
Lit by only candle glow
They lead me to the center
Where I see a young girl
Dressed in white

She is crying because boys hurt her
She screamed for help but noone came
I look around and see a coffin
Flag drapped over it
My heart races
Thinking it is you
Laying there.

With shakey hands I open the lid
I fall backwards and scoot back across the floor
It is my body....
But how....
Why...
Who did this...

Three hooded figures step
From deep inside the darkness
Each having a word across the chest
Past...
Present...
Future...

I pull the little girl close to me
Shielding her if they tried
The figures smile and raise a hand
Something happens
As if I was hit several times
But I didnt fall
I didnt move

As suddenly as they appeared
They disappeared
The little girl
Lay in my arms
Her blood
Bright crimson
Flowing upon the cold stone floor

She looks up and touches my face
I mentally break
I kept saying
Im sorry....
Im sorry...
She looks away from me as a white golden glow encases her
Small figure

She is taken from my arms by
A guardian angel
As he stands to leave
I simply ask
Who is she...
He stops
Turning to me
He speaks
"You know who she is...
She is you... At age 10...
The age you lost part of her...
Your innocence..."

I stare at the angel
"Then where were you...
Who are you..."

He smiled
"I was protecting you....
Though you did not see me...
You sensed me....
And you fought back...
You know who I am...
I will be watching and waiting...
And when your time is up...
I will come for you..."

I woke up in a cold sweat.
But the angels words echo
In my heart
"You know who I am...
When your time is up...
I will come for you...."

******* catastrophes
lifting me up and shoving me into the ground
just to show me how worthless I am
I am dirt, I am mud
I'm not the worm, but the slime that encases them

I need to find a way to fight the **** that falls into my mouth
creeping upward
seeping into my thoughts
with a disturbing promise of permanence
and a heavy heavy volume when it claws it's way back to the tip of my tongue
but only when I'm trying to respond to your stupid, misguided compliment.

If I was a fool,
I would believe that I was born to
Pull you from this cement cage
That encases you into perpetual stillness:
Static and untouched and yet so electric
That it pulls me to you with lightning-struck eyes,
As if it were fate,
(or destiny),
Or any of those other words that fools love to say

But who am I to decide if I am a fool
Or not?
It is a fool who presumes his own intelligence
And a fool who calls himself a fool

And it is true:
I would be a fool to love you
And yet I dig my nails into the concrete nonetheless
Clawing, pulling you out of this wall that stretches
East and west.

You fall onto me
In a cloud of grey dust, and your arms pull me up
And yet I’m not sure you’re real,
For shards of your wall-house linger on your skin,
Covering your face and hiding you from me

And still you touch and pull at me,
As if you were trying to pull me from a wall of my own.
Darling, with your concrete eyes,
How could the rest of your body be so alive?

Alive enough to run from me
After you were through with me
And you ran,
And you ran,
And I was a fool.