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Dull orbs of green
Stare back from reflective material
Once vibrant fire cascaded down
Now lackluster

Once carefree and bright smiles
Replaced by emptiness and frowns
Darkness lurking in recesses
Springs forth covering everything

Thoughts trapped behind shutters to the soul
As lids lift allowing a stagnant light to glimpse
Dark and cold are blankets of warmth
Vibrant color so drab

Voices, smiles, laughter, light
Silent, empty, tears, pain
Arms reach out
Attempting to break through

Feeling the vice grip
Slivers of feeling enter
Screams bounce off just below the skull
Anguish read in the sea of green

Wanting desperately to break free
She can feel the anguish smothering
Sleep the escape
Wakened to more agony

Pills said to be the answer
Day in day out
More added to the regimen
No change in the mirror

Dreams the escape
Life the prison
Tell me how you feel
Visions of blades gauging flesh

Red floods the scene
Such warmth surrounds briefly
Suddenly very cold
No one thought to understand

Pills withdrawn
Voices no more
Lying in the poppies
Eyes dull and lifeless

Feelings gone
Peaceful rest at last
The fight long gone
Stark white sheet beneath
the cold black bag
Written by: Niyah Love all rights reserved 2015
Delving into the psyche of the depressed.  Fiction
  Feb 2015 Jennifer Humphrey
my heart will cry for you
until tears turn to blood
until time stops and all the worlds stop spinning
until there is nothing left to love
still, my heart will cry for you
until all stars stop shining
until every living things stop breathing
and until all songs stop playing
my heart will always cry for you
forever does not exist
but my love for you is everlasting
you can break my heart
you can break everything
you can even break me, tear me into pieces
until all of me ceases to exist
until my calls stop reaching you
until my lungs stop breathing for you
you can take everything from me
you can even take away my sanity
but not until you make me stop loving you
not until then
will my heart stop crying for you
  Feb 2015 Jennifer Humphrey
I wake to find
An aching in the grey
My plans in disarray

My peace of mind
Shattered by the fray
A scene from yesterday

Callow and kind
Innocent and blind
Reason enough to stay

So far behind
Intention lost in time
Now too afraid to stray

Set me free - set me free
Set me free - set me free
been such a long time coming
I forgot that I've been running

Set me free - set me free
Set me free - set me free
I've no desire to stay
so i'm stepping out to find a better way

So sick and tired
Of all that is mundane
Numbing out my brain

Unable to explain
Confined to single lane
Borderline insane

I’ll shed my skin
stop sinking in the shame
of my alleged sin

so stretched and thin
can’t wait to leave
but where do I begin?

Set me free - set me free
Set me free - set me free
been such a long time coming
I forgot that I've been running

Set me free - set me free
Set me free - set me free
I've no desire to stay
so i'm stepping out to find a better way

A twinge of excitement, unfamiliar and queer
begins to escalate, and weaken my knees
I feel it spread beneath my bodies veneer
taking control like a delightful disease

Pretty soon I’m overcome by the feeling
of an electrifying sense of unease
with every sense within writhing and reeling
I get up and start to reach for my keys

My luck is changing, and its hard to explain
the little trickle is becoming a flood
I start to let go of the heartache and pain
The very thought begins to quicken my blood

No longer brittle, strong enough to spurn - my
loathsome memories evaporate fast
So with a smile upon my face I turn
and raise my finger in salute to the past

Set me free - set me free
Set me free - set me free
been such a long time coming
I forgot that I've been running

Set me free - set me free
Set me free - set me free
I've no desire to stay
so i'm stepping out to find a better way

(c) bazookio 2014
Have a listen to this wee tune for yourself -
(copy + paste link)
would love to hear what you think.

Sung by the ridiculously enchanting voice of Kelly Baigent.
Bass strings plucked by the very fingers of Garreth Smith himself.
One I trust
Apart from the rest
Held in esteem
Never uncomfortable

There is a type
I should have recognized
Acting like the elite
Oddly separated

Starts with help
Coming to you
As you expect
You knew I would

Quiet, that's me
Dependent on praise
Lifts up my day

Take it slow
Tickles your brain
Knowing to fast
Will show your hand

Praises daily
Addicting to me
Depending more
Using less of me

Influence is drastic
Friends try to intervene
Blow them off
Keep listening

Day after day
Time after time
I fall
You catch

Pace quicknes
Growing need
The opening arrives
Move in, breath held

Hair rises on nape of neck
Ignore it you croon
Immersed in your world now
Friends alienated

Classes missed
None notice
Weeks gone
Mail piles up

Semester ends
No sign I exist
Missing person
Name on a poster

Tears fall down cheeks
Eyes dull
Just what thrills you
Conquests, dolls

Poster fades
Rips and disappears
Trapped even now
So gullible

Tiring of the look
I cringe
Wondering at the days
Darkness blissful

Fresh posters hung
Face full of life
Whispers abundant
Body found, remember her

If only they had reported
Even now they are the key
He is a predator
The worst kind

My killer was my mentor
Friend to the School
The rich task master
Jollies in blood

A new poster
Hangs beside mine
Another is missing
Soon another body they will find

Teach your young early
Keep them vigilant
Make them depend on themselves
This kills his type

Written by Niyah Love
All rights reserved
To all those afraid to be themselves, those that felt that chilling unease and ignored it...wake up!
  Feb 2015 Jennifer Humphrey
If at first you don't succeed
Spill your tears on paper
Pour your lamenting soul into the universe
Take a deep breath
And try again
How do I go on?
You claimed to be my White Knight
Your words not mine
I felt a disconnect and knew you would break my heart
I tried to break it off

These words I said
I love you deeply
You my soul mate
The response was the same
Your words
You are my soul mate

We were so happy
Happily ever after type
You begged me not to leave
Called me your lifeline
I would have given up everything
Just to be in your arms

A picture of you
Shared only with me
So I thought
You said only me
Only me

We were a secret
You didn't want others jealous
But everyone knew
You get to the airport
Tell me it's just me, only me

My friend talked of you
I confided in her of Us
A letter arrives
You cut me to pieces for telling her
Telling her we were Us

You were my White Knight
I was your lifeline
Pulling you from the brink
Soul mates
Stars aligned

I will never know
You would never tell
The picture partly a clue
You sent it to her too
Dumped me for saying you loved me to her

She was our friend
Only a friend you said
Then why
why all this pain
I saved you

You almost killed me
I saved it all you know
Every word, phrase, poem
The pain unbearable
You had to know
I would try to end my life

Your lifeline would be dead
Nothing but silence from you
One day out of the blue you show again
Say you still love me
Still desire me

What were you thinking
After all that time
Just needed your lifeline again
Then what
Disappear after

What you did White Knight
Was inexcusable, cruel, vindictive
You swore you would be back
I would see you again
You might as well have been the knife

Sliding across my skin
This time you succeeded
Severing all ties
Bet you didn't think it would go this far

No longer your soul mate
Your lifeline gone
All because our friend's feelings were hurt
You could have done better
Should have done more

Now I am gone forever
They buried me today
Our friends were there
But not you
Not even then would you show
Written by Jennifer Humphrey. All rights reserved 1/31/15
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