"defused" poems
Worry a'creapin
Confusion sets
Nerves are startled
Fear Upsets
Minds a racin'
Thoughts implode
Face is flushed
Fear Explodes
Hearts a'flutter
Chest tightens up
Voices stutter
Fear Erupts
Hearts a'poundin
Sweat then rolls
Panic resounding
Fear unfolds
Deaths a'loomin
Dreads attack
All consuming
Fear is back
Peace a'buildin
Calm ensues
If Gods willing
Fear defused
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 21, 2020 at 5:35 PM UTC
**zero context shifts
*multitasking is multi~asking your brain
to do what does not come naturally,
the enthused poem starts up, lion roaring,
a muscle car, brain throbs organic pulses
semi~orgasmic of a near-completion in
your neuronic ***** exciting and ****
all you-writ so far is:
your name, some crazed, minimal
two fingers of words with
no context, no preconceived word lotion to
balm-spread over the enflamed areas of
your brain skin
except that it’s
6:47 am, coffee in hand,
your woman slumber rumbles a left over dream,
speechifying, and room, cool conditioned cold,
ignoring notifications of overnight elections,
and a reminder-by-photo where you were this
day seven years ago today, all put asided,
permission ungranted to any distractions,
there will be zero context shifts* til the
spillage of your morn squeaking meager is fully
pillage~d here, it be within my it-takes-no-
village,
@ 6:56 and Whitman is tsk-tsking at the low poetry of my scripting, Hafiz says “hey!
nothing about god or love, what good is that?”
but it’s ok for i’ve emptied the early morning
brain bowels,
defused fusses and asides, tossed asided & there is yet some coffee
remaining but the expiation for having been
reborn this newly birthed day has earned me atonement
for taking up space in this planet
and as of yet, I’ve not stated yet to any, no. all
humans, I hate you ~ but the day is infantile
and opportunity plentiful
@7:03AM
nyc
morning
Wed Nov 8,
in the year of hatred,
a/k/a twenty twenty three.
Nov 8, 2023
Nov 8, 2023 at 7:33 AM UTC
I always enjoy flying high, but many things bring me back down, so I grow a beard
I am up to see another adventure that I indulge as I shave.
My heart beat drops, of memory of you, and what should have become, so I grow a beard
I converse with new souls that pick me up , shall i shave.
As all things, life complicates and freedom of thinking is defused, so I grow a beard
I overcome the difficulties and see new opportunity, only to shave.
Once again the thought of you, and stress lowers me to a place where I grow a beard.
I only shaved a little as I know what means to me.
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 3:43 AM UTC
Liquid karma seeps into our cuts
The density of blood is defused by courage
The sun sets in our arteries
and the moon grows with each heartbeat
Sometimes I forget that no one has felt this before
That exploring the unknown comes with a price
And like a giant drowned in ant hills
I am lost in things too small to comprehend
A star lost amongst the infinite sky
A koi struggling against the never ending tide
You are the priest caught in a fight
finding your true self amongst unsuitable affairs
And all I want
is for you to know
I'll be by your side
Sep 1, 2012
Sep 1, 2012 at 12:43 AM UTC
you made my life vivid with music
now you don't n i lose it
you were my medicine when i got too sick
***** im the bomb n u defused it
my heart, you used it
**** your **** n i don't care if u excuse it
i don't give a **** nor two *****
****** blow me ***** n let my ooze spit
i ****** your mom for amusement. hehe
Jul 22, 2010
Jul 22, 2010 at 10:46 AM UTC
my eyes speak out a narrow street
notorious for fatal accidents
scorching everyone involved
leaving impertinent witnesses
hence silent gaze shies away
exposure, self-denied
to keep from harm
avoid collateral
and not just eyes but words
they slip they cost they hurt
the best the most
bitten tongue cannot dissolve
no, bitten lip cannot contain
boiling recklessness
come close meet walls
cruelly transparent
self-defused bomb
a self-contained woe
window shopping
a blink away from shattered showcase
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 11:34 PM UTC
A painting in black and white, red and gold.
I keep this image of you in my minds eye.
you where standing parallel to the orange tree of equal leaves. Your tight frame illuminated by defused clouds that rip across the pitched void of a starry sky. Drifting grass moves like a rhythmic stream of gold rolling over the tiny hill. Only you and the small tree quietly defy the long grasses movement. I can close my eyes and see your shadowed face there; Just taking the third pull off the 100 cigarette, exhaling slowly forming a thin chain of smoke.
All in black and white, red and gold.
Such is the painting I keep in the center of my mind. A painting I will always hold closest to my heart.
May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016 at 9:45 PM UTC
Down no plains of flowing grass
up no hills of trees that stand
what tips your hat?
where is your flaw?
disillusioned taste
defused for all, mimicked
in the voice of a flower
through hearts of trees, outstretching
complex, limbs hidden
simply facilitated
in common goal, conditioned
used for all;
how do you stand?
quite so tall
in divined obsession
it seems to find all
nurtured and withdrawn
concealed in fixation
no one finds your flaw
for there’s none at all
yet from deception, true love finds all
in this shambled; shrine,
not flawed in design
nurtured from unseen
confronted with existence.
Aug 1, 2016
Aug 1, 2016 at 3:20 AM UTC
Dear friends many of you have moved
from surroundings I knew and loved with you
but my memories of us have not defused
like clouds hanging dark but always new.
In old age it is the memories that flow
and make you present with hearts beating wildly
times we drank beer decrying the status quo
and when we celebrated little things like being Friday.
We celebrated a lot when life was so full
alive with discoveries, conflicts, and diversity
when our desires and thoughts pushed and pulled
and we felt pain and hope in multiplicity.
But now so many of you are gone
to places unknown: some to you and some to me
and together we won’t know joys of new dawns
we will deal with things like that **** aching knee.
For some of you your children are grown
for me poetry, love, and God enliven and wake me up
but nobody can take from me the bonds I have known
bonds cast with you in sharing, caring, and lifting life’s cup.
In long moments in a waiting room
trying to ignore the next challenge of my body
I’ll be grateful. I’ll not dwell in spaces of doom
I’ll remember those times of being good or naughty.
I’ll visit the rooms and the halls
where we gathered to learn and teach
in those precious moments of my recall
I’ll gather you together for the universes we’ve yet to reach.
Written 6-30-18
Jun 30, 2018
Jun 30, 2018 at 8:10 AM UTC
I'm so confused,
Like a ticking bomb,
I need to be defused
My feelings are jared up
Mixed emotions --
I do not know where to start
Met you in my worst,
And you stayed.
And that made it even worst
You make me feel less cynical,
Clearer than crystal,
Every move now is critical
What magic do you posses?
With one look everything is supressed,
Smile and the sleepless world is at rest
I want you,
I need you
But I can never have you.
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 3:02 AM UTC
A thought bubbles up from my mind
Cooperation, people working together
To revive their poisoned planet
Tanks dismantled, bombs defused
Grand parades celebrating the end of war
Brothers of different races
Arm-in-arm
Looking toward the future
Instead of dwelling on the past
Planting great gardens
Of red and gold and blue
Flowers the size of houses
Symphonies shouting the music of souls
Touching the hearts of millions
Sunny parks, green grass, tennis *****
Food enough for all who desire it
A blend of cuisines from across the globe
Gracing every plate
Children laughing
The bubble turns dark
Pop.
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 7, 2011 at 12:56 PM UTC
My limbs are gushing while I walk
down towards the seaside pier,
these endings and these beginnings
ascending again into mere cycles,
the rising and falling chest,
beating heart,
transcending
I walk
hand in hand with you, restated love,
the new and the old clothes we wear
wrapped around our breathless poses
our heads filled with thoughts
of rose ridden gardens, and of course
children dancing, playing games between
our spacious Pohutakawa branches
where you first taught me about romantics
without that rudimentary triteness
and you sitting, coffee in hand at the picnic table
swearing revolution is never possible
to I dancing, remarking
“you are such the cynic”
before grabbing you and twirling you
faster than the earth rotates
As we drift closer to the sea
the inconstant wind winds the clock to 10pm,
the minutes restoring those now withered days
of woollen coats, new music and Dunedin
I would stand behind you while you played the flute
thinking of that time
where we played in the rhododendrons
till dark; folding time folding into
my arms, the sky white and blue
juxtaposed against the trees
darkened spikes explore the sea
what was it? me, me, me,
of course, I see
and I
remember the melody
(lets go under the covers
we can play games in the dark
we could even try adding to
those stars on your ceiling)
so now, again, for a moment, we reappear
in this hour, this walk, this air
stilted, shaking
we resurface,
and soak in the watery soils of previous deluges
become something overwhelming,
something insoluble
here we are, on the Pier
at noon, dazed, defused
by a familiar grip on the fingers
index snug between the ring
“take me to the end”
“but darling,
we are going further than that”
before we jump
we tie our balloon to the pole
and promise to return, on horses
painted silver and brass
Hey, nice to see you here
come with me
lets watch the sunrise
from the beach,
I think I sense a revolution stirring
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 12:39 AM UTC
I am lost!
I have crossed a divide,
where I collide with the unrevealed.
I am thrown into swirling life
spinning amidst defused light;
a kaleidoscopic landscape of streaked memories.
Is the end of this tunnel, my future or past?
Is there any evidence that I'm getting closer, at last?
An illusory distant point - a distraction
from action that needs to materialize
before I realize that I am not strong,
and am wrong about where I want to be.
I attempt to grip the whirl of wind;
hands outstretched to slow the spin.
My feet have yet to find land.
My body plans for impact
a stuntman's tumble back into mid-life,
eluding strife or contention,
but not to mention,
the final and ultimate cost;
alongside bittersweet acceptance,
of knowing that
I am no longer lost.
Jun 2, 2021
Jun 2, 2021 at 7:09 PM UTC
~~~
someday soon gonna reread
the four figures of my
poems over lifetime inked,
divvy them up by what each is about,
assemblage of
the themes of me
review the who what when and weird
of this guy through his own eyes
multiplying confessions
of graces and disgraces
particular to recover,
desirous of collecting those poems that:
*valorize society’s strugglers
and stragglers...humans doing the work of living*^
don't know how many will be uncovered,
but here's hoping there are plenty,
needy of recovery and uncovering the poet
and worthy of pointing too,
valuation markers of a
decent human
strugglers, stragglers,
those from all over this world
and lives that can only visualize
no-horizon-in-sight oceans
sailors, from ports unvisited,
some even, still undiscovered,
working ****** and women,
not those,
don't owners
of fancy dress whites,
topped of by jaunty angelic-angled caps
the ones I sought and seek,
grime and coal dust etched into
every ****** crevice, ink under fingernails,
in obscurity, toil in windowless engine rooms,
in the nooks in libraries hiding,
satisfied with
a moment of glory,
and a lasting
hand upon
their wracked minds
these are my mates,
sharing fates
of woeful countenances
of bruised bodies,
recipients of hardest blows repetitious,
comrades in open arms
the unflavored, unfavored of
sons and daughters,
unblessed with sobs and smacks,
who rare lift the head in hope
the sufferers of ignominy
of the
prison of their existence,
for those I write,
have, will, and willing
to do it till I see a
chin rising, white of eyes gleaming,
a hand delisted,
arms defused of black weights
come to me,
words, encouragement, perspective,
that this too shall pass
believing ain't easy,
take it from one who couldn't see
happy endings, but had no choice but
to choose to,
now prepped, ready
for my arms to do some serious uplifting,
shoulders heavy-loaded and wide of loads,
eager for honest work,
aiding and abetting
the stragglers and and stragglers...
humans doing the work of living,
deserving for valuation,
awaiting their salutation,
and relief, even if,
tiny and small,
a slim volume of poems,
that but one
poet
provided
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 8:47 AM UTC
The yearning, the dreaming, the pain of wanting
My touch, my kiss, my warmth on your skin
My teasing had wheezing you couldn't keep up, so I slowed down
Now I am yearning, I am dreaming, I am feeling the sting of wanting
Your touch, your kiss, your warmth on my skin
The height of the passion defused by the conquered prize
Now there is no more yearning, no more dreaming, but there is pain...
Oh, there is pain, the pain of wanting you to want me the way that you used to want me.
The thrill of the chase, glittering gem on the horizon but as the horizon approaches its just rocks.
Just plain old rocks.
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 1:08 PM UTC
The world is at a stand still
Only I move
Land mines planted for me to step on defused
I've seen how I end
I conspired against the truth
Words from the TV brain washing my youth
A road already paved for me
But I choose a dusty trail
Off the map I track
My tale rewritten
Edited by the all mighty
In this moment I'm not alone
She walks beside me
My dusty trail is now her own
Conceived on the same day
Out of the cold Birth something warm
In this moment
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 8:34 PM UTC
I Think Ziggy’s playing guitar again.
And walking on the wild side.
I fancy a walk it’s a fine spring evening.
And I’ve kept my self busy with half arsed house cleaning.
Who knows what’s round the corner?
What tattered hymns are being hummed from the leopard skin trolley dollies?
Their kneeling for distraught drunken jockeys
Discussions which inevitably create fraught tension.
That which must be defused
Catch a break brother you’re casting successive **** storms.
Throw on the parker and thus to the shelter.
Thirty six and dour and positively *****
Few dollars in the bank.
Show patience and may receive what I deserve.
I lean and drool, the swagger of Liam Gallagher and clean my shiny Excalibur.
Indulge the kindness of strangers.
The merging of unstable behaviour.
Shake the snow globe and set tasers to stun
I talk to the luscious Lucia. Tell her to skip the small talk and let’s get to marinating the pork
Another dumb quirk, dumb dirt that comes from my cracked beak.
She considerers me flippant and freakish.
I am truly scrooge macduffed
She returns to her posh rugby fan with blonde locks and a chin that could hold six pints.
I lay this dog to die and meet some more familiar faces.
All the venues are familiar.
Avast the putrid fog of masculine sweat, the desperate air of ****** puns that drag and caress us in the arm pit of jacks sick giant.
None of our jokes make any sense and were ducking and diving into primitive offence.
The next few hours are unacceptable and the horror must have me in chained.
If I could describe the rest Charlie Bronson would light my ***
Woke up next day lying on the wing of a Heathrow aeroplane.
Without my trousers.
And several tubes in the near regions.
And now it come to this.
Prison showers and a Glaswegian mans kiss.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 11:03 AM UTC
*I cast a backward look—how the times changed
To the beautiful face in the stroller
She Smile, I smiled, the guardian frown
A child is not born to hate
Hate is taught:
Hate is the new formula in their supplements
home is where it multiply so easily:
Let not occupy kinship bias
Defused the bigots:
Save our innocent children:
No child is born to hate;
~~~~
*World's Wit and Wisdom
Children have never been good at
listening to their elders, but they
have never failed to imitate them.
James Baldwin, 1924 - 1987*
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 10:50 AM UTC
Les amours ne sont rien que de piètres adieux;
Rah, n’en sois pas si fâché.
Eh, mer! Tu n’es qu’un serpent amoureux,
Tes mots sont des vagues gachées.
*Love is nothing but needy goodbyes;
Rah, don’t act so angry about it.
Hey, sea! You’re nothing but a smitten snake,
Your words are wasted waves.*
Les amours ne sont rien que des brindilles sèches;
Rah, n’en sois pas si fâché.
Eh, mer! Tu n’es qu’une bombe sans mèche,
Tes mots sont des ailes arrachées.
*Love is nothing but brittle firewood;
Rah, don’t act so angry about it.
Hey, sea! You’re nothing but a defused bomb:
Your words are pluckèd wings.*
Les amours ne sont rien que des choses éphémères;
Rah, tu t’en remettras vite.
Eh, mer! Te lasses-tu parfois d’être mère?
Tes mots sont des eaux sans mérite.
*Love is nothing but an ephemeral thing;
Rah, you’ll get over it soon.
Hey, sea! Do you sometimes have enough of being a mother?
Your words are worthless waters.*
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 10:16 AM UTC
Defuse The Bombs
When the war was over there are many things left over
That never went bang and were there secretly hiding
The Germans defused them in many places
And were paid in food and reduced sentences
Some new types of British bomb had a tricky fuse
Hans lost two of his friends to these tricky things
The fuse diagrams were held up at the docks
Was this on purpose or simply bureaucratic bumbling?
From beach to hill to city nowhere was safe
Mortars and shells and bombs were everywhere
Just waiting to wake up and **** one or two or ten
Deadly seeds of mayhem born from carnage
Made in factories by old men and girls
To fight the biggest event in human history
Now it was over those evil creations needed to be cleared
Prisoners of War got the job and in return a lighter sentence
Only if they weren't proven party members Nazis members
Most were teenage soldiers who were green and scared
They cleared mines off Danish beaches and bombs in German cities
You'd think more didn't explode than did
A legacy that last to this day
The sad memory of war...
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 11:25 AM UTC
defused into dumbfounded speed kicked eternal dream
almost sleep state
we never took off.
stuck in rest.
i rub your head, you lay on my breast.
unrest.
brush away webs.
your skin, it's just fine.
It'll pass.
It does every time.
Hours upon hours
Our bubblegum brains, they turn sour.
We knew better
You relearned all your vowels, all your letters.
oh, but your jaw and your lips and the spin and that glass
oh the glass..
isnt worth it.
i can't believe we ever had the gumption.
please don't ask..
ill be vague and you make your assumptions.
this is not romantic.
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
Love is but the **** of two minds, yet what is joy?
Joy is but the slaughter of pain which is the reality
Life and death remain the duality but the contraction and the most real delusion all shall know
beyond logic is chaos but chaos is simply defused logic
Stare aimlessly into the nothing that is you and the nothing that is I
We are both the same person I am to you as you are to I
He is to she what she is to he
Our concepts are but smoke in the wind and signify nothing
Bloodshed is our purest form of expression a brutal honesty which is the only real part of our nature
but what is artifical?
The art of ignorance is the most difficult course to master taking generations to achieve
Intellect is the pillow that smothers you as a new born baby in your crib
All who want you hate you and all that Hate you love you with all the kindness in the world
Your weak and made to be destroyed but that is the greatest mercy all shall know
Decay further into nothing your true state and put behind the delusion of all that is knoweldge
You are nothing as am I
Nothing is everything even the flicker of a dying flame carried upon angels wings
A lucky bullet strikes the world at exactly midnight and all that is will be no more but a lingering shadow in a universe that doesn't exist
Every second that passes until the fatal blow is an eternity in the eyes of us mortals
What is mankind but a collection of bactieria inside of an amphibians pupil
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 1:30 PM UTC
Her mouth
Enveloped me
Saturated this intimate glow
Inside of me
Touched every corner
Traced the lines
That I let no one see
Her mouth kissed
The bruised
Bandaged the wires
Defused the misfired
Her lips
I stare
For hours
She was the missing piece
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 11:43 PM UTC
My words
Like knives
Cut deep into your bones
And I had the audacity
To blame you for bleeding
Like a coin
There are two sides to every story
But the facts will still be facts
Head or tails
The difference doesn't save it
from being a coin
So I admit my error
I accept my right to remain silent
But before that
I'd like to recall
The night we sat in the swings
And talked from our hearts
For the first time
I'd like to refrain
From forgetting
The roses you brought me
That morning in May
It rained the rest of the day
But none of it enough
To wash away my smile
Your name is permanently
Carved into the walls of my heart
But I've learned to love
The taste of memories
Like I've learned
to accept coffee
Warm and welcoming at first
But if forgotten, bitter and cold
Waves of fear no longer wash over me
I am a skilled sailor
In the oceans of regret
But I am a martyr
On the battle grounds of forgetting
The way you looked at me
And held me at my weakest
No amount of words
Can express
The love required to save
a condemned man
My heart was long gone
Before you came
And I blamed you for losing it
When your hands hadn't touched it
Though your voice left finger prints
The day you told me
you'd chosen me over the million
So I guess I'll sign off saying
The memory of you
Is not a bomb to be defused
It keeps me safe on nights
When hope is not around
My sincerest apologies
For not knowing how to
Apologize from my heart
Instead of my head
And my deepest gratitude
Goes to you
For dealing with the mess
I am
And for staying
I will not forget you
And, God forbid, regret you
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 7, 2015 at 11:37 PM UTC
*Don't try and help me, these ***** angels got a hold of me
A bottle of Old E to stay cold is all I need G*
**If you can reach me I need help, somebody please teach me
This motherfucker's like a leach and I can't hear them preach**
*Each day you stay away, I surface stronger to make you pay
Ain't no way to stray from this curse and it ain't no use to pray*
**These highs and lows got me ecstatic and feeling hollow
At times I wanna die, **** back and let the bullet follow**
*Why wallow in self-pity? embrace it and take the city
A man with **** to loose is a man who does as he chooses*
**I'm confused, It's like I'm walking in two different peoples shoes
One minute I'm about to blow, the next it seems I'm defused**
***** and liquor with marijuana to make me sicker
Chased by a swisher, I run up on you and squeeze the trigger*
**SOMEBODY STOP ME!! By now somebody should have shot me
Don't try and help me because now these ***** angels got me**
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 11:23 PM UTC