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It should have been a perfect day to be sitting up in heaven.
(The weather being decidedly vernal,)
To watch the local nine suit up
on the day hope springs eternal.

A gorgeous diamond, brown and green,
with DeGrom on the rubber,
Gives fair promise of a victory
on this day that’s like no other.

I can almost smell the dogs and brats;
I can almost taste the beer.
Alas, it’s just my memory, playing tricks,
Nobody else is here.

The fans are all in quarantine,
with many unemployed.
The team dispersed to warmer climes;
No ball game to be enjoyed.

They may be back eventually,
Some time in June I hear.
Just not until the third base coach
can touch nose mouth and ear.
03/26/2020 the Day that baseball failed to open
Pleasure is fleeting, but  enduring is my  pain.
I would that it were otherwise; but that is not the game.
Perhaps in a mirror Universe
they enjoy perpetual pleasure
and would not know what to make of pain
when they experience it never.
Now if such folk are curious
and fear they're missing out
I'd gladly take their Elysian state
and let them have the gout.
Here's a gentle reminder, in case you forgot.
Pajamas are forgiving but blue jeans are not!
It's hard to lose weight so please don't stuff your face
while you're wearing pajamas and sheltered in place
Schools and businesses closed by mandate of law!
Streets nearly empty, like in times of war.
The stock market crashed, and panic ensued
This old curmudgeon was not the least bit amused.

“In the land of the free and the home of the brave
We snivel like cowards hiding in our man caves.:
“We barter our freedom for a smidgen of safety,
And we’ll end up with nothing, so it seems to me!”

Now viral Pneumonia is no common cold,
It’s particularly dangerous for the feeble and old.
Shelter in place! Wash your hands they decree.
Those escaping infection now all have O.C.D.
To think this all started because some fool in Wuhan China thought bat soup would be delicious
They’re closing all the bars tonight!
At eight O’clock they all must close.
That’s not much time to tie one on,
Thou, for some, t’will do
I do suppose.

It hardly time enough for some
to obtain sufficient anodyne.
To insulate themselves from care
As viruses spread and stocks flat line.

I’m guessing some fights might ensue
As we all belly up to the bar.
Then stagger out in blue twilight
In a vain attempt to find our cars.

The plain girls I feel sorry for.
There’s insufficient time, I fear.
For their swains to have consumed enough
To make their inner beauty clear.
By closing all the NYC bars on the eve of saont Patrick's day that vindicive  scion of the mafia in Albany has cost honest barkeeps a fortune
Ooh I’m feeling sick, a little sick
Fevers up a tick
Are you gonna get me, you vile Corona?

Ooh you make my fever spike, fever spike
I cough and sneeze, I'm up all night
Nothing 's gonna make this right, Corona,

Is it ever gonna stop, full of snot, I kid you not
Fevers going up I got a touch of that vile Corona
That Vile, Vile, Vile Corona

Because I never wash my hands,, here I am
Staring death in the face was not my plan
Now I’m in a quarantine, quarantine
Delirious in this bad dream
You Vile Vile Vile Corona
Parody meant to be sung to the tune of "My Sharona"


I am, so far as I know, not actually  infected
There are unsmiling faces and bright plastic chains
And a wheel in perpetual motion
And they follow the races and pay out the gains
With no show of an outward emotion

And they think it will make their lives easier
For God knows up till now it's been hard
But the game never ends when your whole world depends
On the turn of a friendly card
No the game never ends when your whole world depends
On the turn of a friendly card

There's a sign in the desert that lies to the west
Where you can't tell the night from the sunrise
And not all the king's horses and all the king's men
Have prevented the fall of the unwise

For they think it will make their lives easier
And God knows up till now it's been hard
But the game never ends when your whole world depends
On the turn of a friendly card
No the game never ends when your whole world depends
On the turn of a friendly card
Alan Parsons Project   album "The Turn of a Friendly Card"
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