you might get something
if you put a price on it
but it won't be love

hands interlock
as hearts entwine
the way her body
fits with mine
no awkward moments
have we shared
our chemistry
beyond compare
a ring, a promise
I have made
because, you see
now we’re engaged

don't wait to donate
your soul needs good insurance
for what is to come

God is the rabbit
the dogs chase, and when they stop,
Satan, the excuse

have you ever heard it?

shallow,

rapid,

weak

have you ever felt it?

fleeting,

rattling,

in the chest

have you ever seen it?

nodding,

into the blankness

of the void

no

pulse,

so life-less, yet,

oddly,

peaceful

there's plenty of fish
but this one right here, is mine
don't f*ck with my fish

my life went smoother
when I reached the conclusion
that it's all *******

it's comfortable
fits like my favorite boots
I'll make you smell them

wrapped in a blanket
with all that I care about
and nothing to do

my body is spent
but my mind's still reeling
why can't I shake
this sinking feeling?

so
juicy
that I had
to wash both my elbows

where I am right now
is where I am meant to be
I'm firmly rooted

work out for hour?
eat healthy and meditate?
don't wanna "alive"

sadly, I'm sadder
in this moment than I was
just moments ago

surround myself with what I love
but sometimes it all gets too much
and when it does, I sneak up here
and all my problems disappear

upstairs I sneak a couple tokes
and send my worries up in smoke
or play guitar a little bit
and step away from all that ****

I'm not hurt and I'm not hating
but sometimes people drive me crazy
I need to take a step away
sometimes, I swear, I'm gonna break

but all my problems disappear
whenever I can sneak up here
just for awhile, to meditate
so I can keep my thinking straight

try to be productive, but it's
hard to come up with the energy when
the only gift I may possess, my
words cut like a razor's edge and
leave me bleeding

with every negative thought,
another laceration


worthless,

lazy

(my ears are ringing)

"but wait, there's more!"

now comes the replays,

all the times I wasn't there

when I was really needed

(legs feeling weak)

all the people that have left this world

their faces

( I want to curl up in a little ball)

the last time I saw them, and my

mind struggles with that, incessantly

(I no longer want to exist)

until i'm too shattered, too
weak
to drag my *** out of this
bed

the words flow in chunks
like bad milk from a gallon
right into your cup

feel the power surge come through my feet
as my body sways to an unheard beat
was feeling drained, forgot to charge it
something popped and someone farted

everywhere I go
every single thing I do
she's right there with me

she's my puzzle

all the pieces are there,
but the box is missing

she's my chalice

I only fill her
with the finest

she's my mirror

and I am growing fond
of my reflection

she's my sword

ready to cut a path
through those who stand in my way

she's my shield

always there for me
in the heat of battle

she's my Queen
and it is an honor
to serve her

and she's my religion

she gives me something
to believe in

cutest little claws,
soft fur, softer purr, and sweet
sandpaper kisses

traversing the fog
these colors look so vivid
in this smog I breathe

money,
love,
power,
fame

everybody is looking
for something

It shrinks
sometimes
It grows
from too much heat
or too much cold

sometimes
it’s hard
sometimes
it’s soft
sometimes
it wiggles
when I cough

sometimes
it’s new
sometimes
it’s old
sometimes
it’s shy
sometimes
it’s bold

don’t need a spare
but I have two
I don’t know what
they really do
I hate to say
I hate to mention
but sometimes they both crave attention
it’s not profound, or even trippy
I’m only talkin’ bout
my nippies

her eyes plucked chords

on my heartstrings

and my soul sang the chorus,

but I never bothered to write the words down

get mad if you like
sometimes I need a minute
sorry, not sorry

we just kept going
but the only thing I reached
was soreness and sweat

20 when I use the bathroom

and I drink lots of water

20 in the morning

and 20 before bed

I am at peace
I can finally say
there’s no more storm clouds
bound my way
my body’s sore,
my muscles ache
but I’m stronger now
than yesterday

an easy life
I’ll never find
but that’s okay
no, nevermind
it does no good
to ***** and whine
just take my days
one at a time

I’m getting stronger
every day
my muscles sore,
my body aches
but I’m prepared,
let come what may
I am complete, now
I can say

cute little furball
with twenty tiny daggers
big eyes and no tail

nobody wants to hear
how your life's so bad
and how you just can't take it

I know that life
is rarely nice, but
it's only what you make it

it's not like we're
all here by choice, but what else
can you do?
the way you feel about it
is entirely up to you

your age, your title
all these cease to matter when
we shed the casing

for reminding me
that no matter what happens,
I am always loved

*    
          *
there's something hanging in the air
it caught my senses unaware
you slip your way out of the room
something must've died in you

on the interwebs wanking

and looking for ***

you might get some love

if you put down the tech

I have been people-watching

and the things I observed,

have left me much more

than a little disturbed

our future is doomed

as the youth of our nation

lack basic skills,

like communication

clean their cars out

for Facebook

'cos they think that the world

gives a **** how their face looks

and they want their neighbors,

friends to see

their perfect,

plastic "family"

when maturity
is learning how not to hate
someone who's wronged you

raindrops crash across the tin roof

while her mouth issues sweet, soothing music

and the cars pass slowly

I’ve had this problem
since I was twelve
I never thought
that much of myself
you may not understand
a thing such as this
but life’s hard for a boy
when he thinks he’s got ****

he don’t sleep well at night
he dreads going to school
he stays out of the heat
and stays out of the pool
and it’s hard to find love
when he’s full of self-hate
and he can’t even tell
when he’s lost all that weight

when years later, he’s healthy
his memory sees
when he looks in the mirror
how he used to be
still he counts out the portions
he’s wasting away
though he’s 80 pounds lighter,
he still feels the same

I went down from 240
to 158
but i’m still that fat kid
that’s filled with self-hate
but I deal with it different
than I used to do
now i’m building lean muscle
at 172

I still have the same problem
I’m sick of this ****
when I look in the mirror
I’m still seeing ****
but I guess there’s not really
that much I can do
‘cos that kind of self-image
attaches to you

first you have to learn
to love
the
****
out of yourself

go somewhere quiet
and get yourself

u n ******* e d

fat
until I lost some weight
now people fear I’ll waste away
too quiet
‘til I speak my mind
now they’re all ******,
wish I would die
wear too much black
wear pink one day
now everyone assumes I’m gay
work out an hour,
now I’m crazy
I take a break
now i’m too lazy
the truths I tell
become a lie
all people do is criticize
too meek
too weak
an ***
too crass
It doesn’t change
until I die
nobody will be satisfied

by candlelight, I'm warmly dressed

my demons finally at rest

the trick, I guess, to get them ******

and they leave me the **** alone

no feeling less, not good enough

or what-ifs am I thinking of

so good to finally be at peace

i'm simply resting in my seat

anxiety and ADD

don't get the chance to **** with me

baby all I wanna do
is try and get along with you
why do we have to fuss and fight?
can't figure out, it's just not right

I know I slept in kinda late
I'm sorry, I don't feel so great
I'm trying to change the way I feel
but you just don't see the appeal

I can't be still, I can't be lazy
and you look at me  like I'm crazy
or worse, like it's some kind of crime
to build myself and **** some time

I'm sorry that I can't sit still
it's just the way I have to deal
I go too far, I get obsessed
but if I don't, I get depressed

at least, if I work out a bit
I won't feel like a *******
lie to myself, at least that way
I had a good, productive day

and if I went to meditate
at least, I got my thinking straight
but with all this, you're just annoyed
with everything that brings me joy

can we start over?
baby, please
I love you
I don't wanna leave
but when you
start to act this way
it really pushes me away

can't play guitar,
can't take a ***
without you finding fault with me
and that's just how
you make me feel
I gotta doubt if you're for real

so tell me, baby
what did I do?
I'm trying so hard to get along with you
don't wanna go,
I wanna stay,
but I feel like we need some space

to meditate,
to cook and clean,
to work off nervous energy
why does it have to cause a fight?
and cut into my sleep at night?

I
don't know
about that turkey
and that
ham is if-y, but
hell yeah, I'll have
a couple of those rolls
and those
mashed potatoes look kinda
decent

when i'm broken
she will take me, let me feast
in her sacred hall