what if all this studying
is for nothing?
what if i cant do it
i crack in the real thing
i just fall apart
how will i know?
i doubt everything
every little move
every little decision
what if it is not enough?
college is rough and im struggling
But do not think thy world is equally
Despite how thou work things out
You are no some superhero to change New York City
But you are some ice cream on a rough day to shout about.
my mind is a board game
my feelings are like the dice ready to be tossed
and in the end, i feel though i have lost
Faux happiness bursts
through my internal seams. The
truth will be revealed.
Better days are coming.
I woke up this morning.
Then I went back to sleep.
Twenty minutes past my alarm, I realized that public education has been ranked as something mildly important, so I got out of bed and dressed myself in the clothing that I had picked out the night before - varying shades of grey. Not fifty. I'd say about four.
English class is fun.
It always seems to happen at night.
It's been lingering around all day,
but no action was taken until tonight.
I could feel it creeping up the side of my bed,
cold and empty,
I felt it slowly take hold of me.
I could no longer breathe properly,
and my chest felt as if it was being crushed.
Tears found their way out of my eyes and down my face.
I knew there was nothing I could do.
There never is and there never has been.
This attack can't be stopped.
It could last for hours...
But I can't confess the stress it causes to anyone around me,
because to everyone else anxiety is just a made up mental issue.
They will never understand how physically suffocating it is.
I've been going through so much, but my family doesn't understand that I need help. They think I'm just immature and just over exaggerating. So I'm spending another night awake, while my chest feels like it's being crushed, my head is pounding, and it's extremely hard to breathe. I just wish they'd see how badly I'm suffering from this anxiety.
I can't do this anymore.
HELP! I'm falling apart on the floor.
Sleeping has become my only score.
I've can't even cry.
Must be strong for the poor.
I'm okay on the outside.
I'm crashing down in the core.
Tell me "It's okay."
Let me blindly love tomorrow's day.
I want to speak,
but sometimes, there's nothing left to say.
I want to smile..
I'm not okay.
I'll never admit it.
I fall apart everyday.
I was heading to "Out The Window",
but hit a *** hole on the way.
Am I even trying?
Why am I always lying-
..on this floor..
for more than I have the courage ..to ask for?..
comments? Give some hearts?
— The End —