Crashed down onto my bed I lay there Feeling slightly dead A million thoughts running around in my head What should I do? I’m afraid the monsters will break through my walls And chase me down the halls Or maybe they’ll come creeping out of the closet When I least expect it They’ll rip away my joy It’s happened all too many times before.
I woke up this morning. Then I went back to sleep. Twenty minutes past my alarm, I realized that public education has been ranked as something mildly important, so I got out of bed and dressed myself in the clothing that I had picked out the night before - varying shades of grey. Not fifty. I'd say about four.
It always seems to happen at night. It's been lingering around all day, but no action was taken until tonight. I could feel it creeping up the side of my bed, cold and empty, I felt it slowly take hold of me. I could no longer breathe properly, and my chest felt as if it was being crushed. Tears found their way out of my eyes and down my face. I knew there was nothing I could do. There never is and there never has been. This attack can't be stopped. It could last for hours... But I can't confess the stress it causes to anyone around me, because to everyone else anxiety is just a made up mental issue. They will never understand how physically suffocating it is.
I've been going through so much, but my family doesn't understand that I need help. They think I'm just immature and just over exaggerating. So I'm spending another night awake, while my chest feels like it's being crushed, my head is pounding, and it's extremely hard to breathe. I just wish they'd see how badly I'm suffering from this anxiety.