what if?
what if all this studying
crying
stressing
trying
is for nothing?

what if?
what if i cant do it
i crack in the real thing
i just fall apart
how will i know?

i doubt everything
every little move
every little decision
what if it is not enough?

oh
oh how far i have
let myself go

i have forgotten
how it feels
how the words
bleed.

no more
no,
writing.

i need to express
how i feel
and i have never learned
how to be vocal

just,
writing.

i sit in my room
unpacking everything of my winter clothes
to begin to move out of the dorms for summer
and i have to stop

you can go months in your house safe
but after so long
your parents have to put you down
they have to remind you
that they don't believe in you

i cant help you
and i sit in my floor
on the verge of tears
because all i want to do
is remove the toxins
from your life