She lost her grip
Heard a voice so familiar, she tripped
Over the 1000 promises that lay on the floor
1000 and 1…there’s hardly room for more
And everyone seems to know better
Everyone seems to understand so much…but forget her
Misplace the fact that she’s well aware
She knows every line, can count every hair
She’s a master at the game
And losing, no matter how many times done, is always the same
What if for once…she’s done with the romance
The kindness
What if for once…she just doesn’t want to dance
And would prefer to just sink into the darkness that his her room
Be that one rare flower that through adversity did bloom
The rare blossom that had no need for love…no need for sun
A trend in the making…a grand story is to come
From this porcelain masked mess
The infamous damsel in distress
A princess who traded in her dress
And gave no more attention to love, but sought something less
Something less likely to promise something more
For she had already 1000 on the floor

We have calcium in our bones
Iron in our veins
Carbon in our souls
And
Nitrogen in our brains
94.3 percent stardust
And
With souls made of flames
We are all just stars that have people names

Seventeen I Was ! Much  Stupid To Be Called Sane ! Yes like every other girl I too had a dream world where I was “Marzi Ki Mallika” the very thought of being matured haunted me & being a teenager you just can’t avoid the driving crazy adrenaline rush that you get when you fantasise stuff of being in love. My fantasies resulted in prettily adorable pieces of poems and bits of stories where A Boy fell in love with A Girl. I had dated my dreams since forever & it was amazing & what justifies this statement of mine is that they never disappoint ! talking to people knowing stories making new friends and sharing memories with old one’s that was indeed perfect to me ! I always tried to describe that perfectly adorable moment of falling in love in the best possible way I could fantasise ! Not too soon I realized that moment cannot be emphasised !

THAT MOMENT IS A CAPTURED MEMORY

Turned 23 Yay ! Loads Of Birthday Presents ! Wishes ! Hearty Felicitations ! etc etc 6 years passed since then & I remained the same still much stupid to be called sane ! Maa smiles while she still wakes me up in the morning saying Kobe Boro Hobi (when will you grow up). I giggle and hug her knowing not when !! I see the beautiful stock of my soft toys which helped me remain childish when suddenly my mirror reported about how messy my hair was ! OH GAWED maaa… my instant reaction was !

I was told love happens when matured ! I herd the same but fortunately dared not to believe ! Th0 I knowingly knew that dating a girl like me a guy will have to fall in love with my messed up stuff he needs to constantly date my love for 3a.m coffee & my craziness for maggi accompanied with coke ! My idiotic obsessions with vampire & songs of Nusrat & Kishore & perhaps tolerate the constant humming of those part of songs which I loved ! Questioned my self quiet frequently about will my love accompany me while I trek through the mighty mountains will he accompany me in my best moments of life will he even accept me the way I am !?? such questions did nothing but made me fall asleep which ended up in GOOD MORNINGS with Bournvita !

Usual mornings and unusual days thereafter ! mobile rings I ran to pick up the call it was none other than my beloved going to be husband AASHIQ

Good morning ! come lets plan out something crazy  ! Adrenaline rush  What About A Trek At Ladakh ! Readily agreeing to the proposal I said yes ! We drove together as I discovered his playlist matched mine ! with each passing moment I got the answers to much awaited stupid questions ! while I was unanswerable to his lone question why I had smiled while he drove ! We got down  amidst green surroundings   he picked up a piece of sugarcane and nervously began to chew on it as he was humming one of my favourite songs, He looked at me like I was the only **** thing that’ll ever matter to him looking constantly into my eyes he blurred out ILOVEYOU&WANTTOMARRYYOU;

I always valued crazy memories but this was the craziest one perhaps ! I started laughing unwantedly pointing at his face ! His front tooth had broken! He had been trying to be a stud only to impress me he tried to peel the sugarcane with his teeth & somehow ended up loosing the bottom part of his front incisor !

I Blushed later ! My face betrayed two expressions – Amusement & Shyness !

I Fell In Love Unknowingly Without A Parachute ! much madness was added when I couldn’t resist saying ILOVEYOU

His eyes met mine with a sparkle of mischief  AKHO AKHO ME PYAR HOGAYA

Committed !  Not Confused !

Start Of A New Journey Hands In Hands We Start Our Trek ! !

SIR APJ ABDUL KALAM KO SALAM !
VEH MARE NAHI HAI
VEH TO AMAAR HAI
UNKE UPDESH
UNKI SOCH
UNKA SAPNA
AMAAR HAI AUR HAMESHA RAHEGA !
VEH ZINDA HAI
HAMARE DILO ME
HAM SAB ME KALAM HAI !
I AM KALAM
YOU ARE KALM
WE ARE KALAM
VISION 2020 AB DOOR NAHI !

"Mother" is such a simple word,
But to me there’s meaning seldom heard.
For everything I am today,
My mother’s love showed me the way.

I’ll love my mother all my days,
For enriching my life in so many ways.
You're my cushion when I fall
You support me whenever I call.
You give guidance when I ask;
You're the master of every task.

You let me know you love me
In so many different ways.
You make me feel important
With encouragement and praise.
To comfort and to care
Your love follows me everywhere.

I learned about love from you,
Watching your caring ways.
I learned about joy from you
In fun-filled yesterdays.
From you I learned forgiving
Of faults both big and small.
I learned what I know about living
From you, as you gave life your all.
Mom, you’ve always been the best
A better mom than all the rest.
I’m thankful for all the things you do
I’m glad my mom is extra special you!
On Mother’s Day, I want you to know
You’re the greatest mom, and I love you so.
There’s one more thing I want to say:
I wish you Happy Mother’s Day!

The beauty of life is as bright as the Sun
I sit here thinking all the battles i won

the beauty of life is an extraordinary thing
all the joy that this beauty can bring

the beauty of life makes me stop and look over
how I got through has made my mind Hover

the beauty of life I'm thinking today
the life that I've lived I could be in my grave

the beauty of life has finally been good to me
and the beauty of God he has set me free

the beauty of life God has in his plan
for a woman to have a very good man

the beauty of life God send him to me
because for his purpose it was meant to be

the beauty of there is a beauty in you
the beauty of life there is beauty in me

the beauty of life combine both together
the beauty will show us being together forever

(Let them see the world)
Dekho Manhooos Paida Hui Hai
Sabke Chehere Pe Maatam Chaa Gaya
Aur Betii Bojh Ban Gayi

Bojh Shayad Kuch Kam Hua Tha
Jab Iskaa Ek Chotaa Bhaii Hua Tha

Par Shayad Kabse Sach Hua Tha
Simaat Gayi Akelepan Mein

Baith Baith Ke Sapne Bunti
Raat Ko Voh Taare Gintii

Gintii?
Gintii Toh Mujko Aati Nahi

Baabujii Ne School Nahi Bheja Mujko
Betii Hoon Naah? !!

Aaj Veera Aayega Toh Ussey Kahungi
Gintii Sikhaa De. :')
Taaare Ginne Hai Mujko

Betii Honaaa Paap Hai
Betii Toh Bojh Hotii Hai Naah
Papa Bhi Yahii Kehete Hai

Solaah (16) Saal Kii Umaar Me
Voh Laal Jodaa Mujhpe Bojh Ban Gaya
Aur Baabuji Kaa Bojh Shayad Kuch Halkaa ** Gaya
Ispe Kayi Sitaare Lage The
Aur Muje Abbhi Gintii Nai Aatii Thi

Dekho Manhoos Paida Hui Hai
Mai Manhoos Banke Reh Gayi
Sabke Chehere Pe Muskaan Thi Aaj
Aur Beti Bojh Banke Reh Gaayi.

I Love Feelings
I love it when excitement blesses me.
When my heart beats quickly
and I feel adrenaline flowing through me.
happy and sad !
at times beautifully mad
In love, oblivious
Confused and conspicuous.
How can this be?
What's happening inside of me?
I just want to feel completely free.
Questioned Again n' again !!!!
Oh I feel so ‪#‎Insane‬

Hello, how are you?
I am doing well, thank you.
I breathe fire,
but do not worry
I am dragon and I am invincible.
You look great, are you on a diet?
No, no, no,
I am not a fat little girl,
and I know I’ve gained some weight.
But you see,
I happen to like pinching the rolls on my abdomen,
you don’t have to lie to me to love me.
I can see that, what can you see?
I don’t like to look,
mirrors are just glass and
I am more than that.
Yes, you’re very beautiful, did you
know?
I have always known.
I just haven’t chosen the right time
to accept such beauty into my life.
I think it’d be rather inconvenient,
to have high expectations in staying beautiful.
Because the width of my legs should not matter and the color of my hair should not dictate what I can and cannot do in the world and the fact that I am a woman should not allow you to treat me like a doll.
Any signs of lingering depression?
Yes, Depression and Self-Hate braid each others hair and sometimes I let them brush mine.
I often stand in the shower and talk to God.
I don’t know if he ever listens
or if I even believe in him.
It gets better with time,
I’m just waiting for a full recovery.
(if that even exists)
Our time is up, but I’ll see you next week?
Maybe, I’ll need to check if I have plans.
Okay, call me and we can arrange a time if the usual doesn’t work out. And remember, broken isn’t bad or else puzzles wouldn’t sell.
I close the door, soft dies the light

I tried to find you in each drop of rain
I looked for you in wounded pain
I went through my lost smiles
looking for you i walked for miles
I tried to find you in blank pages
I searched for you since ages
I looked for you in the lying mirror
Oh I looked for you almost everywhere
Then Once for a while
I regained back my smile
I drowned in my heart
Finding you there I couldn't apart

Iss eid pe tujh ko main kya bhejoon,
koi jugnuu,
koi taara,
koi sapnaa bhejoon ?

Koi phool bhejoon ad’khilaa se,
koi umeed,
koi aas,
koi nazaara bhejoon ?

Chaand bhejoon tujhe is eid pr
ik khushbuu,
ik rang ka istaara bhejoon ?

Aye mere dost !
roshni ki rang ki muskaan bhejoon ?
ya apni likhi koi shayari  bhejoon ?

Apni aankh ka koi moti teri nazar karoon,
Ya hathon se maangi koi dua bhejoon ?

Phoolon se koi titlii ki mohabbat bhejoon,
kisi bhanwre ki lagan,
us ka tarrana bhejoon !

Kisi shamma ka jalta hua daaman bhejoon,
Ya baarish ki hasti hui boondain bhejoon ?

Mere hathon main ik aas, umeed aur dua hai,
iss eid pe main tujh ko bass itna keh doon,

ke tum jo chaho
Woh sitaara mil jaye,


Tujh ko iss eid pe
Koi tumhara mil jaye..

My world, a relic,
My hopes, unnavigated,
The sky transports my dreaminess
The wind wins me with drunken delight
Nothing actualized
From my deluge of desire,
Couldn't cast a soul
With my far aspirations.
I celebrate the vibrant joy
Of the cosmic poet,
Savoring every nuance of his love
I admire his formidable face
As a ruthless destroyer of wrong
I embrace his elixir -- love,
His death, suffering and solace--
Likewise.
I cherish his sparkling vigil,
His endless luminosity,
Then again
His opaque darkness
As appalling as that may be
I honor his luscious love
That mingles, matches, unites,
As well as the rifts
That rip up the heart

Dreams get the best upon me
if only i would open my eyes
to look upon the world of skies
Where no one knows such lies
A world with such a loving theme
Yet it is a longing deatination of dream !!!!!

Lust was selfish, Love selfless
Lust was in too much hurry,
Love could wait
Love You's lied in lust
&
Hate You'd lied in love
Cause love couldn't hate
Lust was about not being sure
Love is so true so pure
Until its lust's ghost
Love healed the most
We'll become One the day
Our Lust Gets Matured Into Love!

I am thinking of you right now
That's nothing special
I thought of you today
& That is nothing new
I thought of you yesterday
and days before that too
I think of you in silence
I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in frame
You are so dear that I cant apart
God has you in his arms &
I have you in my heart

He Said : Do you like me
I said : I love you !
He Said : I love you more than you !
I said : Would you walk with me for a while *
He said : (with a smile) for *miles & miles
I said : I Miss You !
He Said : I don't
He said : I won't
I said : WHY ?
He said : Please don't cry ,
I wept
He said : Cause I Couldn't Apart
                 Cause You Are My Heart
I said : I want to *meet *
He said : **Listen to your heart beat !!!!!

I'd rather be paper,
And I mean this with every word,
I know this sounds like a contrary,
But my decision is firm.

Because darling', people can write upon you,
Stories of pain and remorse they wish to let go,
You can be their solace in this dying breath,
Say, has not ever paper made you feel home?

Then somebody can play origami, you know,
They could turn me into a butterfly,
So before this paper girl flys away with the wind,
I'd have my wings to shoot across the sky.

And I'd rather have a paper heart,
I'd rather be fragile than strong,
Because darling', just listen to me once,
Aren't strong the people who've been hurting weak for so long?

Yes, I'd rather get hurt than hurt the millions,
Because if you didn't know and if you didn't see, fragile is how we start.
And fragile is beauty, beauty born from pain,
Just take my own and hand me over a paper heart.

you                 don't            know


my                    love!


it              doesn't    whisp­er,



or speaks quietly    in        traffic        


where   it               might            not              be         heard.


my         ­      love
                                  
                         ­             SCREAMS
                                            ­         LOUDLY even in the hush of the evening!



you            say               
                   ­you                 know me,
        
    
but                   you,              
                          you don't know me.


PASSION!


it's in my work
                                  it's in my love
                                                            ­       sometimes they are the same.


PASSION!
                            for whom I love
                                                            ­              it's in my kiss
                                                            ­                                            

let me
                                                  introduce     ­ you to bliss.


PASSION!  
                            if I am your friend
                                                          ­          you know it...YOU KNOW IT!


you will see it in my eyes
    
                                      a highway deep
                                                            ­                        

                                       ­                        
an EXplosiON inTENse!


PASSION!

if I love you,

             you know it,

                             I'll be your full moon every night!


you think you know me

                then call me by my name...


PASSION!
                          
                      when I write , it requires surgery


I have to split open the rib cage.
  

                           Break every bone.


It is the only way to get to the heart,



                                              then you have to remove it


expose it,
                          
                                   it s~q~u~i~r~m~s as it is pumping.


It leaves a mess
                                    

                       blood is spilled everywhere.


The bones heal
                           but
                                       you hear the sound of metal
                                                           ­                           on metal


the gate shuts behind you.
                                                      
    
­                                         There is a horrendous sound
                                    

it echoes in your skull,

                                     in your mind.

  
                                    There are sleepless nights.


There is a cost
    

                      a heavy cost.


PASSION!
                          
                   If you want to speak to me,


after your punctuation is in place,


                            once your meter is formed perfectly,


                                                   I mean I don't mind.

            BUT!

                  I want to see your heart,                        your love,


                                                       I want to see


PASSION!


You say you know me, then address me by my name...

Could you make pace with a poet's heartbeat?
Could you make pace with the unimaginable thoughts that she comes across even while she is asleep
Could you make pace with something that's not even constant
Could you make pace with the way she walks for miles just to collect a few stories of smiles?
Could you find her a reason for the way she talks or acts while she mad at her own self ?
Cause at that point even she can't make pace with her own self
A poet who can write about anything and everything that she comes across gets blank gets out of her wits to find words to describe what she wants to explain but oh! alas!
How can she explain something by whose presence she is blotted out by whose being she exists

It’s easy to forget what an amazing gift life really is.
Our lives are nothing but a cosmic blink.
Even our seemingly all-encompassing world is just tiny blue dot circling an average sized star spiraling around a galaxy of 200-400 billion stars, which itself is just one galaxy among billions more.
Yet for one brief moment, we get to experience the wonders of existence, of consciousness.
I stopped explaining myself
when i realized
we are forever trying to explain ourselves to the world
or the world to ourselves
don't explain
the one who explains lies
How can you describe the true form of something
in whose presence you are blotted out
and in whose being you still exist !

For The Late Night Chats
For HKS*
I Didn't Believe In Angels Until I Met Her
She Cleared The Blur
Baby I Promise You Us Forever
We Met & My Pain Was Understood
You Are Pretty Good
For You Cared
When I Feared
Your Warm Embracing Hugs Made Me Feel Home
You Be The Reason I Don't Feel Alone
For You Were There
When I Could Hardly Bear
Baby I Want You To Know
Each Passing Day My Love For You Shall Grow
People May Come & Go
But To You Sweetheart My Heart I Owe
Your Smile So Beautiful, True & Bright
My Life Has True Meaning When You Are At Sight
I'll Stay
Never Ever Leave You Away
Baby I'll Be You Happy Everyday
Your Words So Pure
I Love You More
Your Eyes So Kind
That I'll Never Leave You Behind
Strongest Bond We Do Share
Always Know I Do Care
You have Embraced Me, & Your Friendship Is True
I Know I'll Withstand Everything, Now That I Have You

Oh the weight of unrealized love,
The sun that pulls the heart,
The gravity that holds us under,
The rain that floods from eyes,
Only to fall on shores,
Returning us in thoughts,
To the start of love.

My heart runs the similar path of earth,
To escape from hands of light,
Only to find memories of moons,
Shimmering in waters of nights,
On oceans of eyes.

Colored dark but strangely calm,
Our restless waves of thoughts.
Conformed to matter not.
A loveless existence of breathless space,
And purposeless dimensions.

Oh The Weight Of Unrealised Love
Le me fall asleep to your voice & wake up to your breathing patterns

I wait for the rain
To wash away my pain

Yesterday, mom put me to bed
She told me a story, a new one, she said
Her beautiful story was a tasty bait
Yesterday, i was only eight
I woke up with throbs in my head
My pink curtains were so white, instead
But, my dolls still stared the same
They never told me whom to blame
Was it mom who wished i grow?
I saw her dandelions fly, as she used to blow
Or perhaps i have slept for too long
As she sang me my favorite song!
My hair's now longer, my nails are French
I saw the differences on every inch
But, as well as i can recall,
I've never wished for this, not at all!