Too many things
happened
within a
short period
of time
while the time itself
was caught by surprise
by its own nature
by its ability
by its tendency
of delivering
sucker punch
within a
short period
of time.

there is no limit
we live in the world of infinite
impossible is not a word
for any man
invisible at the heart
of a perfect plan
rock the chair of a child
and let them go wild
this world is meant
to be in chaos
and truth be told,
we are already in lost.

helplessly drowning in a rapid tide
let's indulge in this eternal wild ride.

I'm afraid,
afraid of something
something that feels like
tailing me,
but don't, don't
don't mistaken this
it doesn't follow me
neither haunts me,
out of necessity
it reflects of something
when I looked upon
the troubled water
from the unending bridge.

It hits me,
like a hanging skin being stitched.

there is
a hole
a space
an empty bracket
in me
waiting patiently
to be filled
like a junkyard
a ***** bottle
a sanitarium
a minute
after the minute
you read this
on every clock
and once it is filled
with all the particles
needed
I will rise
like a tiger
released from its cage
like a thunder
freed off the cloud
I won't even care
about the universe
because I decide how
the stars, the rocks
out of the black hole
collide and erupt
and nobody can
stop me from
breaking the lines
crashing the minds
of the constellation
to seek
something out of it
as it is just
a mere sign
that I looked
in solitude and
compassion.

There is a hole
that is
waiting patiently to be
filled in me,
there is.

I am an old-fashioned ****
that is trapped in a cyber,
instant millenial era
I want to profess my love
to you over the airwaves
sandwiched between
blue monday, common people
and have a picnic at the park
crisps, juices and dog barks
are the only precious things
that will lift our spirits on
every days that are like sundays
when peace has failed to fulfill
the entire notion of an idle landfill
I want to march against the tyrant
and be with Jeremy and Malcolm
at the front, resisting the Krokodils
and defend the wall in Berlin
from falling all over this sacred land.

But now here I am,

scrolling through all
the madness, loneliness
desperation of a generation
following through the routines
that will not fail to appear as
fake, ignorance,
foolish, blood smeared
and expressing my emotions
over it is the most that I can do
posting on what I believe
is the best that I can do.

We are all dead, buried
**** into the lively deathbed
and the funny part is
we are all livid and sad,

At the same time,
all at the same time.

I do not want to live
in fear anymore
I do not want to live
without desire anymore
I want to move to
a city where I know nobody
where I will have
a movie marathon alone
where I will have
a dinner at my own convenient
where I will have
the entire space to my own
where I will talk
to myself in front of the mirror
where I will suffer
alone from my crooked back
I am pretty sure it is
more meaningful than
to be greeted by
thoughtful strangers
to be harrassed by
vengeful neighbours.

sometimes, knowing that
you are loved from afar
will make you want to fish
for the sun from the star.

I wonder
how can you
be content
with a 10-inch horizontal screen or
42-inch rectangular box
that will only make you
fall deeper in the escapism
and forget about the whole sense of realism.

/I
do.not/adore!
-you./

Kehidupan
tak menjanjikan
harapan;

Kematian
tak menjanjikan
penyelesaian.

How similar
we are
antonym is
turned into
the antidote
to the decaying
synonym.

There are only
two outcomes
out of this similarity;

burst of the sun
or a flower off the gun.

A song starts, and it will end.

Eventually.

I will play your song all over again.
As the outside just started to rain,
and I light the joint to heal the pain.
All this time, even in the
tiniest, tightest lane,
I don't have to think, I always knew
the outcome.

And knowing that you have reached
the plateau, I feel numb.

My endorphins have never failed me.
Every time the tune crawled and bit my doldrums,
it did not fail me.

I feel fine, and everything shines.
I am done, and nothing put me off the lines.
I just had to, and it feels so true.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I miss you, and I wish that you knew.

25/2/2014

when you asked me
for the only direction
to the campsite of holy Aurora
I fed you with the temptation
and when you laid the blanket
I made you the bed instead.

I was already underneath the lake,
and I extended my hand to you,
waiting for you to realise
that there is nothing at stake,
and there is no wrong in being true.

when you talked to me
about the fiery, empty sunset
there were devils that linger and smile
I painted clouds and rainbows
for you to be sheltered from
partook in a deep sigh and grows.

you are awakened
by the smell of the brewed coffee
filled with our joy and contentment
you are no longer in a daze
forever buried in the strong aftertaste.

stay within my sight,
and touch me with all your might.

This is just
a waiting game
that needs nothing else
besides perseverance
and persistence
to make sense
of everything
that will succeed
in disappearing
completely,
on one fine day.

For more than a year
we never met each other
and nothing turns out any
better;

it is just an illusion of time that makes us suffer.

while I am busy
stitching up the patches
you are distracted by the
marching orders.
as every single particles
seem to be the same
there is nothing for us to
blame
the lilium has died
disgusted at the idea of
having it sprinkled
all over your dress
and those kids were never
born
shamed at the thought
of me lifting them all over my
face.
I think we are just too shy
to admit that we are
desperate
desperate enough to cover
up the memories
to run away from all the
reality
and to realize
that nothing ever change
since that day.

I did so many
foolish things
back when
I was young
but
loving you
is not
one of it.

setiap kota
takkan kekal abadi
dan yang ada
di dalamnya
hanyalah penghuni
yang kekal
selamanya ditemani
isi-isi
yang tak berisi
tiada puisi,
tiada seni
tanpa arah
tanpa erti
yang ada hanyalah
imbalan
dan keuntungan
yang berpuing
di udara kota
yang berlegar
di pengairan kota
segalanya
terasa muram
apa bezanya
hidup di dalam
lohong hitam?

He is immune to things that could shake him
for years and years
like the rohypnol, cotton bleach, light beam
more tears and tears
been shed upon the Christ's myth
and nothing could indulge in more width.

He can never lie in the bunk
throughout the summer, forever
a thousand of ships have allegedly sunk
into the oblivion, since we gather
in the acrimonious way in withholding
the frivolous conviction that we refused.

He missed thousands of roses, lilies, daisies
He stepped on it, he couldn't resist
when they arrived to announce the capture from the harem
he departed just to leave a terrifying mark all over them.

He dragged his soul through the abandoned street
street of hope and lie that forget to greet
tend to set ablaze any shape of territory
Inferno's fault is that it never told us the whole story.

He is now dancing alone on the sacred mountain
savoring the peace that he thought he could never obtain
horrendous mistake when they set him apart to be blamed
even Abraham made up something to take everyone's sight off the frame.

They shirk their responsibilities resulting in the furor
he wished that he can never be bothered anymore
for John, Donald, Henry are passersby in waiting
and the Sun now, seems to be brighter and deafening.

I etch your name
deep in my soul,
past the thickest
skin,
the toughest
bone,
and there is
no one
to be blamed
for that
except me.

Don't you
worry
I will be
just fine
but not like how
you want
me to be.

bahawasanya
semua binasa
angkara
nafsu
tinggal sisa-sisa
hayat angkasa
dan masa
semakin jauh
meninggalkan
manusia
dengan angka
dengan strata
hikayat termaktub
bermaharajalela.

We are all bizarre,
but that is not our deepest scar.

Remember what happened in that black 98
battered souls, bruised dignities, blackened eyes
fallacies, conspiracies
no apology, no sympathy
but this is David and Goliath
don't you remember,
like eighteen years ago
except for its atrocities
and ridiculosities.

Dad,
you inflicted this on me,
you should have known
that the wheel
doesn't stop rolling.

What I think
what I say
and what I do
shall not be a meal
that you can indulge in
before you digest
and criticize it.

This freedom
this tiny little space
that I am able to afford
is not for you to steal, rob or breach
and I have fought through
thousand of nights and days
with nobody but myself
to gain all this.

Therefore,
I shall refrain myself
from doing things
that will inflict the process
as there is enough barbarism
in this world
without my help.

And it might be useful
for you to know that
what you think
what you say
and what you do
is something that
I am not interested in
and not something
for me to have a hand in
unless it has something
to do with me but
as you might have known
there is nothing that I can do
about it.

So,
bon appetite!

I have no sorrow in my eyes
only life that I borrow before I die.

To know whether you are strong
or not,
break, break and
break everything
that you have
into bits and pieces.

Only then
you will know
whether you
deserve to be here,
or you should just
cease to exist.

Well, we are all going to diminish, eventually.

After all,
we are made from
nothing else but
bits and pieces
either it is
a dream
that you nurture
all this time or
a trait
that you pick up
from others or
a move
that you steal
from a movie.

Break it
for its strength
and invincibility
it will still survive
and kick everything
into life.

A puzzle
would never be
complete
on its own.

Too many times
in our life
we have
been given
the clue
and we should
have known
that it has
no other duty
besides that
it will build
us up
or break
us down.

There is nothing
much to worry
in this life
except for
our acts
and its
consequences.

antologi itu
adalah
aliran
air deras
dari puncak
gunung
manakala
puisi
adalah
anak-anak
alunan
buih lunak
di kaki
terjunan.

If life
is a collection
of chain reactions
I wonder
who started
the chaos
and
who are at
the bottom of
the receiving end
because if it
falls short at
being fair
then nothing here
is valid.

I heard that
you're coming back,
but don't ever be like lush,

when things turned black,
head went off in a rush.

no one is subscribing
to the universal affection
draining subconscious ailment
that needs no treatment
quaking with fear
shaking with revulsion
looking to prolong
an hour, a minute
stretching one second
into ten seconds
where are we going,
past the streetlights
the crossroads
the commotion
inside the canal boat
that surrounds and accompanies
this road -
will it ends one day,
sometimes, somewhere
and brings an end
to the entire's generation
guilt and disease?

It was once high up to the brim,
the storm, the wave, the breeze,
as we are carried to the middle
of the uncharted yet wild sea
and the sun about to rise
the dusk about to disappear
we let the rosy amethyst
came and became the catalyst
the catalyst of the uprising
and we are no longer undermined,
now the dam is no longer a dam too.

Death
knows no
victim
death
knows no
mind
death
knows no
regret
for everything
that death
has done
it is just
part and
parcel
of its
own
duty.

There is no passable route
to the eventual soulless rite
skidded floors,
frozen painted walls
enclosed in jupiter's rail
embossed in eyelids tail
contradictional theory
off the Savannah 101
piroutting our own soul
writing off our own role
state of devastation
lifted off the barley field
stuck in a time warp
the sky has been waiting
and turning and rolling
tired of never ending doubt
flung towards the soul
aghast with how it ends
the kingdom never arrives
but with face full of joy,
you rob everything off us.

So you want
to solve a mystery?
tell me, tell me
with all honesty

"Do you want to solve a mystery?"

I could tell you all the pain
darkness, sorrow, eruption
of eternal gloom
but we will become
nothing less than just
dust in this room
our souls will collide
as if there is no end to it
our bones will crumble
one by one,
shoulder to waist
waist to toe
oh, this is all just for a show!

the suffering, the awakening
give me a run for the money
rain on my parade
I know nothing but
we are all slowly sinking.

Mystery, mystery
what good will that bring?

So if I ask you,

"Do you still want to solve a mystery?"

What will you pry
out of your lovely cemetery?

There are so many things
that you can judge upon;

all I ask from you is to act as
if my soul has long since gone.

Every time
I look at you
I know it is
the worst ever
feeling to have
in this world.
It is worse than
having a tyre
punctured on
the road
in the middle of nowhere
and being kicked
out from the boat
in the middle of nowhere
you are stuck
in a glass box
you did not
built it
and someone else
who thinks
they are superior
built it for you.
I wish I could
hug you
kiss you
and bring
you somewhere
without further
ado.
All you can wish
is just to be free
not just another
commodity.
It is better to be dead
on a natural cause
outside
than being stuck
in somewhere and
feeling lost
inside.

Feline oh my feline.
Nothing wins, nothing ever wins.

the love

is for us to hold in high affinity,
and to be protected like our sanity.

C'est la vie they said, but every moment they departed with the beautiful, delightful phrases that has mysteriously managed to distance itself from the that is you, you have failed again to realize the potential in you. You placed the burden in your mind, in the isolated chamber of yours, as if it's possible for you to fill in every inch of your sullen skeleton, you would. You have come to expect something that is living beyond the border of reality and in order for that to take into effect, the neglection of the genesis behind the seed of our life has to take place. Reality and truth, are the two things that have always been abandoned by greed and dishonesty that have been infesting our minds ever since we are doomed to feel the wrath of karma. We are the author of our own destiny and if we want to be happy, we should take control of the ship and for that to happen, I need a company to face the music and you are the reason that the ship is still afloat as it takes two to balance it. Everything is absurd but love.

He
adores
the
idea
of
his
non-
existence.

not
tucking in
your bedsheet
every morning.

intentionally.

break a toilet
mirror
and
look at it.

indifferent.

cut
an apple
into few slices
and leave it
for days.

indecisive.

comb
your hair
everyday
after shower
before you head
outside.

irrelevant.

lock
the door
before
heading
out,
everytime.

innocuous.

spill
a glass
of water
on the floor,
quit staring
and leave it
as it is.

interdependent.

Time is slipping away
and we can't keep everything at bay.

But I can always feel you,
like how the leaf kisses the morning dew.

Kenapa harus kita
berlari dari
kenyataan
Kenyataan itu
melegakan
Kenyataan itu
mendewasakan
Kenyataan itu
memaknakan

Ayuh ke sini
kenyataan,
kuhidangkanmu
persoalan.

I am fixing the racetrack
where all the thoughts there
have turned black,

reclaiming my isolated dignity
retraining every part of thoughts
connecting every incomplete dots

which will lead me to the adjacent poles
that are satisfied with their own nature
science taught me nothing but
selective decision and sense of entrapment
whisper to your pillow before
every intentional breath

“am I just a vehicle to every unidentifiable selfishness or am I just living up to my own means?”

Flower dwindles
for another flower
Thunder strikes
for another thunder
Summer arrives
for another summer
but human left without
any shadow on sight
and they do not leave
for themselves
but the ego in them.

Nobody forced them
nobody stick a knife
at the back of their neck
if they are not willing,
the door is always open
commitment is crucial
presence is superficial
don't you dare tying
the undone shoelaces
when the sole is destined
for the sweet destruction.

Can't you see
that the fish was gasping for air?

For the sake of your lust,
wanting to have a triumphant end
to such a meaningless contest
you lure it from its world.

How could you inflicted that
on such innocent, lovely soul?
How could you treated its life
as if it is unworthy at all?
How could you even sleep
when you have wounded another soul?

Dead or alive,
you have no right
to irresponsibly acted in that way.

Ignorance, arrogance.

No regret, no guilt.


Yes, because you are all murderers!

we are like
a glass full
half of water
and most of us
want the other half
to be filled
for the feeling
of full, tight grip
breathtaking
drowning
because that
is what makes
this life complete
and for them
anything
that fills in
the vacant
empty space
it could be
apple cider
rice wine
maple syrup
rat’s blood
as long as
it fills
they are
content
and satisfied.
but for
some people
like me
the void
and cold nature
of the space
that has been
keeping us
alive
and
we cannot
be bothered
by it
at all.

The moment you depart
from the stagnant, terrifying pole
I can see it through the glassy eyes
that you picked up the shards,
and shades of all the energy in us
before putting it on the plane
oh sweet soul, sweet untold
but I can feel it, and you can't hold it.

You are the embodiment of truth
a destroyer of corroborated lies
the sun slips away, oh you make it stays
everything in place, oh sunny side days
I am amazed at how far I've went
without having you at the other end
you put the meaning in Ying Yang
gone are the days of firing blank.

The age of understatement passed
horizon hangs from dawn till dusk
enthusiasm for the solitary odeum
helianthus laid at the mausoleum
you killed the ever-present sadness
and the endless parallel to happiness,
the tomb has finally been breached
I'm dumbfounded, bewitched.

You right the wronged in me,
and the spectrum burst into something
unlike the Pandora's box
Magna Carta suffered, and love
is all that I've ever heard.