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Oct 7 · 32
Untitled
KM Hanslik Oct 7
Dreams can't die tonight
tonight the minutes are endless
tonight nobody has a death wish,
and there are so many stars in the sky tonight
a black room filled with twinkle lights
and I am only a character
just playing out my role
Sep 20 · 115
ventilation
KM Hanslik Sep 20
I need a yield sign; don't try to rewind
your drama on my time like a landmine
it's all fine when you unwind greasy fingers in my spine
don't cost you a dime
bang my line trying to choose sides
I'm a gold mine going half-blind and you're broke it's no joke
spitting up acid trying not to choke
your courtesy is a hoax, puffing smoke and pulling ropes
get to the point before the end of this joint
you're the king that I'd like to anoint
and I'm late to appoint better motive for your conscience
Petty thoughts and petty pensions
won't get you very far I'm not a martyr or a star
kicking rocks and stealing cars,
now you need a brace for lumbar support cuz your back is all wack from talking smack wrapped in bubble wrap
talking **** don't pay the rent that's money that could be better spent
and don't tell me that I'm heaven sent when I'm bruised and bent just as much as you
you can't tell me what is and isn't true
so don't treat me like a shiny toy
I don't need another reckless boy
shooting shots only to up and quit
when you miss the hit;
your words don't stick unless I want them to, cuz I'm not just a sad sack I know I've always got my own back
I'll stick to my word like glue until all the self fulfilled prophecies come true
and I'm up and coming hit the ground running; I know you want something,
but I want something too,
and no I don't need you I'm just trying to make it through
walk a couple steps in my shoes just to know
how heavy my feet drag to make it home
even though I'm not alone I still prefer some space to roam
you're looking for a clone looking like a homie,
feeling free and fly and foamy but you're just another phony
trying to make it out past 8 with no more incidents to date
but your apologies always arrive too late
get it straight, this isn't hate
there's just a lot filling up my plate
and yeah this might be blatant but your replies are always latent
and my days are better spent trying to climb a barbed wire fence or just getting my feet wet
below the bridge where we first met cuz I would rather talk than text and if you want to worry about what comes next,
just get it in your head there's always going to be a red light, an-i-can't-get-to-bed kind of night
but it's going to be alright I've still got a lot of fight
and I'll find new heights when your sanity strikes
a nerve, get a little anxious & swerve
avoiding conversation desperate for ventilation always
a fiend for escalation dip my toes in rash sensations still
searching for elation but there's patience in creation
there's always gonna be temptation, you've just gotta learn to face it;
if you find something good, don't waste it
my shower leaks into my basement
& sometimes you're so sad that I can taste it,
but that doesn't mean we aren't gonna make it
put my thoughts in a jar and shake it;
here's a penny for thoughts of annihilation
getting wasted in the parking lot of a vacant gas station;
here's to the nights of our youth spent sitting in booths,
it's a different game but the rules are the same
saying we've changed but we've still got our old names,
I've still got the time to tell you you're worth it,
don't worry so much about how everyone's words hit;

just tryna live for the ones who still sit behind bars,
at least I've still got the money to put gas in my car
and we've made it this far, despite this hungry desperation
despite the prices of inflation or the chaos in our nation
and even if this all spirals out of control I'll be up climbing the tightrope
mixing something less cutthroat just to bring you some slight hope
of a happy ending, when all else fails just keep pretending
cause you're gonna be okay, kid
you just gotta learn how to fake it.
Sep 20 · 34
bad seed
KM Hanslik Sep 20
It's 9:20 and my money
is on the fact that you don't give a ****,
guess I saw it coming but I'm tired of running
from everything that passes your lips
Fight-or-flight keeping me awake half the night
pay up or get out,
living in a state of constant drought
& listening to whatever ******* you're on about
slow work, waiting for grass to sprout,
but I guess we've had it handed to us, gotta reap what our ancestors have planted for us,
even if the seed is bad
can't be much worse than the days I've had.
Sep 20 · 25
Hypocrite
KM Hanslik Sep 20
"You just have different skills",
what, like fiending for pills
and running to the hills
every time my mother kisses my bruises because when I'm around her empathy loses
touch with reality I'm losing my accuracy
gravitating towards hypocrisy every time you try to bring out the best in me,
I think God had a blueprint for me but maybe I spilled too much tea
it got wiped out before I could see
and my errors only come in counts of three
because twice isn't enough to call my own bluff, I'm saying it's rough but really try to act tough
and I cry too much so I'm losing touch
searching for elation in a sense there's no relation
between innocence and patience
zero calorie sensations
curb my thirst and cut temptation
my flaw is I think everyone's amazing
pay no mind to the time they're wasting
don't give a **** about being lazy
leave me empty feeling crazy
Sep 20 · 31
road to riches
KM Hanslik Sep 20
Always getting me high on your own supply;
in this lighting, feels like a crime to cry
upturned palms, holding conversation with the sky
over & over we keep asking ourselves "why?"
Too damaged to give up, too tired to try
but on our worst days we still look each other in the eye
Don't worry, we aren't trying to die
And I tell you it's okay, you don't have to lie
anymore, even with your train en route to a dead-end drive-by,
you still light up my world every time we say goodbye;
still got 12 text messages failed to reply,
leave the situation on standby in case somebody's looking for a good time,
keep your shoulders high & expectations low;
when you rat me out, your lips move so slow
crash-n-burn cuz we've got all this time to **** & nowhere to go,
so why don't you turn me down low
burn through my feelings like cigarette holes
on your last good jacket & don't tell me no,
I'm not a ******* sunflower with only 6 weeks to grow,
I'm just trying to make it on my own time
feeling like a burden every time I ring your line,
getting real tired of all this petty crime
inhaling character flaws like they're coke lines,
asking me for a dollar when I ain't got a dime
tired of you acting like all the bad scenes are mine,
but thanks for giving a **** about how my accomplishments are measuring up,
on the road to riches but seems I've broke down stuck
watch me dig myself out as I listen to how bad
your life *****.
Sep 7 · 93
ego trip
KM Hanslik Sep 7
Lately, been on an ego trip
just trying not to flip my ****
or put my fists wherever they'll fit,
meet your skin and feel it rip
Been on a lifelong ego trip
telling myself just to go with it,
feeling lost and trying to sift
through all the *******, leaving matches lit
wherever I go, take a sip but swallow slow
feeling like I'm about to blow,
about to go off & I don't even know
how to make reparations
with all these half-strained relations,
half-numb sensations
eating away at my patience;
hit the ground running; touchdown on pavement
& you can ask me how my day went,
maybe you really do care
about global warming and solar flares,
but it's been rough even trying to comb my hair
hit me up like you've been there
or follow up with one of your blank stares,
but I'm good on that, I think I've had my share
trying not to go off in parking lots and coining insults on-the-spot
one-liner comebacks on-the-dot;

Been on a trip with my ego
just following wherever she goes
but she can take me down some dark roads,
I guess that's why I go with the flow
so much but I'm tryna break out of that
like trying not to swing when you're up to bat,
swimming in **** like a sewage rat,
Been riding my ego cause it gets me high
head in the gutter, middle fingers to the sky
leave my conscience on standby,
shooting shots like a drive-by,
ground zero and time to let these bullets fly
just another petty cry
for something we never knew was a lie
turns out we've been milking our will to live dry;
I think it's time to put our egos aside,
I think I wanna get off this ride.
KM Hanslik Sep 7
We only smoke when breathing feels too slow
The harder you build me up the worse the letdown goes,
& I've been back and forth between my anxiety and the truth
only swallowing the pieces that'll go down smooth
It's a slippery *****, trying to hold onto hope
maybe someday you'll find some self worth in the dark
stop lighting fires with everything that holds a spark;
I've been living too long at half mast
letting my hazards flash at half past
3 when the **** wears off and nightmares have passed
and sleep can cut you a break but even that doesn't last,
living good but we've been living fast
too fast to see liberty, too fast to find sympathy
I've been living with this raw regret
that I won't see tomorrow, yet
I've still got dreams they've just lost their gleam
sugar coat the way my heart tears at its seams
and getting lost is just another means
to find the right path
stake your claim wherever you think it might last;
empires were built and destroyed
long before atomic bombs were deployed,
long before the middle class became unemployed
so don't be acting like you've seen it all before
like you've knocked on every door
even though you've hit the floor, there's a lot more than pain in store
work through your thoughts before picking at others' locks
some things aren't what they seem and aren't meant to be seen
but I believe the truth will come
over you before all's said and done,
keep your head where you can find it
don't get your ego locked behind it.
Aug 30 · 91
daddy issues
KM Hanslik Aug 30
Daddy issues been hitting different in inclement weather,
when I think of you now it's always I can do better
'cause my skin tells too many stories I don't want you to know,
& I walk with your shadow seeing me home
just to make sure I get in without another incident,
lately breaking in just ain't really doing it;
& there's not enough oxygen in this car for me to breathe,
but your heavy silence used to keep me grounded in my seat
used to brake at every light, just to make it a longer night
out past 3 with nothing new to see but your lips and the stars
slowly forgetting who we are
but it's been getting kinda hard to squint through the storm
with only patchwork memories to keep me warm
we used to fit together like tight-knit sweaters, nobody could do it better

but these daddy issues really be hitting way different with you not around,
way too many side-eye measurements of roof-to-ground,
hitchhiking rides from one emotion to the next,
rest-stop feelings dragging around my neck
but hey, it's gonna be okay,
I've got a drawer full of rope and the perfect lack of hope, so play
your cards right for another chance at me tonight
I'll withdraw from you like I'm going broke, puff me into smoke and I'll
disappear, got a little magic up my sleeve
just enough to convince you to leave

& I've got
loose lips in my car but make sure to keep my voice low,
why you tryna see me without a safe place to go?
You know I only get worse the longer I'm on the road,
and it feels like I've been running on E for a while,
stall the engine to **** my denial;
but I'm gonna find something one of these nights
that looks like you but without the will to die,
someone better at lying when they look me in the eye
but hey, props to you, I mean keep doing what you do,
and I'ma keep on with my twisted self-care regimes
suicidal tendencies only gettin' the best of me for about half the week;
every Thursday & Sunday trying to find a new thing,
scrape up just enough to rent out a temporary set of wings,
tryna to start a Fight Club in a parking lot
just concussed enough to finally get it to stop;
I can only imagine you after the temperatures drop
I'll smoke whatever you've got burning just tryna warm up
hell, I'd even drink if you filled my cup
and I don't really do that much anymore, sometimes sleep on the floor
trying to feel grounded 'cause my head's too high
man, these daddy issues be making it harder to fly
harder to feel, harder to try
hell, I've got to peel an onion anymore just to make myself cry,
so if you gonna **** with me you'd better be for real,
or ready to peel away with my at your heel
cause I'll snap back like a rubber band
do you really wanna see me with my knife in hand?
& there ain't gonna be any pre-game this time
so grind me down like a diamond
hard enough to break glass when I cut past
**** hitting the brakes, ain't enough at stake
I'm swerving steady, feeling over-ready, so when I stop you better drop the petty
Aug 3 · 117
Tuesdays
KM Hanslik Aug 3
Dress to impress,
my heart pumps in excess
she doesn't know how to slow down;
it's okay, neither do I.
The fastest way to stop is to meet a wall at point-blank range
I keep dodging conversations to avoid your name
and usually, I'm only this petty on Tuesdays;
guess it's just a special occasion,
or maybe that time of the year
car-crash, head abrasion
might do me better at this point in life,
you couldn't get a clue if it crawled up your ***
& maybe this is too much to ask,
but could you try hitting head-on next time?
This clip-my-shoulder-as-you-pass,
this don't-let-the-door-smack-you-in-the-back
thing isn't really doing it for me,
But I guess you can just call it an accident
a passing miss, disastrous plot twist
but I'm numb in every place you kissed
do me like a hit & run
but I remember where you live;
good thing I'm only this petty on Tuesdays.
**** love
KM Hanslik Aug 3
There's a voice in my brain saying do it, do it
can't get it out of my head
drive with feet full of lead
learn to sleep like I'm dead
forget photographic memory, it's like a movie every time
I close my eyes
don't take my advice
I like to slip-n-slide
I guess life is just a ride
plunging straight out of the sky
I used to be afraid to die
now I just hope they'll make it quick
I mean, I'll go down swinging
just for the **** of it
but this dizzy drop makes me sick
Aug 3 · 663
bad at math
KM Hanslik Aug 3
Last time I tried this hard
to add things up was Algebra II
I still **** at math, so I'm working through
each problem one at a time
my therapist says I shouldn't do that to people,
packed into boxes, expected to do what they say
but here I am all the same
four blue lines around your name
I guess I should just be glad you came,
**** an afterthought, I'm the ******* train
thought you could stand on the tracks, white flag in your hand
like I've already signed off on a 12-month lease
well, this year doesn't belong to you
it's doing fine just on its own;
you always saw me as a rolling stone,
a little too loose in the heart or the head
guess I was just that good in bed,
but oh, you wouldn't know, right?
It's not like you spent every other night
******* me in and out of sleep,
my name on your lips along with my skin
& all that ******* about losing to win-
no wonder I'm ******* struggling
to calculate the weight of words
only significant in certain contexts.
150 pounds feels like less on the moon,
unless you're the ******* ground carrying it
(pain is relative)
so go ahead, walk all over me
I'm like carbonation, feeling gravity-free
as pliable as your plastic Wal-Mart bags,
but even those are meant to be used again-
I'm just waiting to find out where & when.
Aug 2 · 141
depression 101
KM Hanslik Aug 2
One for the road
isn't enough to dull the thirst anymore;
you feel it in your chest,
I feel it in the pains in my lower back
when I try to reach for my dignity
they always place it on the highest shelf
my self-esteem too low to reach
so I guess I'll resort to using my teeth.
KM Hanslik Aug 2
heavy-set in my ways
big ideas, small brains
prices down, running late
feels like the sun hasn't set for days but it's probably only been
like 16 hours since I last woke up
who knows
Aug 2 · 104
shallowww
KM Hanslik Aug 2
I could stick a knife
into the mud beneath the surface of your personality
(shallow)
And the depth of your promises
wouldn't even be enough to rust the blade,
so why does it feel like I'm drowning
when your words are so ******* empty
that I couldn't even wash my hands clean
whatever, the water looks ***** anyway.
Aug 2 · 59
animal
KM Hanslik Aug 2
Sometimes I'm really starting to feel it;
That's usually about the time it goes bad
I'm staring at the ground in a crowd, at the ceiling when I get home
locked doors but hey the windows are always open
it's like people put keys under the mat hoping someone will break in
hey, at least it would be something
have a conversation with me before you shoot me in the face
I'm down for whatever
just don't play my feelings
I'm not a slot machine
put in, put out
don't drag me around, attach me to your life like a sidecar
at least give me my own ****** leg room
I'm all for forgiving, but I don't do it because I want to
it's all I know how to
except myself, I don't ever learn
and I guess that's what ***** me over honestly
this **** is getting really heavy
good thing I'm built like an ox
beast of burden, quite literally
I can go for miles no shelter, no water
I don't know why I stay so loyal
guess it's just in my blood.
Jul 9 · 232
scales
KM Hanslik Jul 9
I used to be attracted to affection,
now I'm obsessed with the way your lips stutter
over certain words, like "fragile: do not open" is stuck
somewhere between your throat
and your teeth.
My heart is a fire extinguisher
"Break Glass In Case of Emergency"
but there have been enough 24 hour crisis lines
to keep us all alive
the only thing about it is
the number of times I've wanted to jump out onto the pavement,
the "too-close-for-comforts" started in the womb,
I was slow-milking my mother's blood,
every fist that flew too close,
every string she threaded through a bead
sequencing DNA
I guess I turned out alright,
if "alright" is a unit of measurement.
But our scales are all tailored
to fit our needs anyway.
Jul 9 · 52
boats
KM Hanslik Jul 9
Light tells all;
I am the cameraman,
the actors dance around me.
What they say is nonsensical,
two ways to tell a story:
Attached, or not.
I am a free-form lucid dream
I am cutting boats out to sea
you will find me there with the sun
and the tide
and become both.
You are afraid
steering your boat toward the nearest land mass,
I am the sand that leads
from shore to sea,
You only know you're alive in your head
sometimes, at best
come back out when you are ready.
Jul 9 · 150
late fee
KM Hanslik Jul 9
We read lips;
don't ask, but tell all
Walk like your heels are lit matches
(better just to stay away).
I never cross my arms when I'm out,
hands free, lungs exposed
I am writing to you about a late fee,
your conscience is 13 months overdue,
and I'm overdue in the bathroom
where I throw up behind your back,
where the sound of your voice outside the door
is all I need to take
to feel nothing.
Jul 3 · 40
pay up
KM Hanslik Jul 3
It was nice to have my favorite colors for a while,
until they weren't my favorite anymore.
I cant find a dead end anymore
seems like people keep forgetting to lock their doors
but resilience is not open-ended
I find a picture on a bookshelf and wonder whose it is,
thinking maybe I don't want to know
torture is a subjective concept
each of us use a different medium
lines are blurred; maybe it's my brain
I think the more I see the less I understand
and my strings aren't being pulled so much as guided now,
I sit on a hill and it feels like I am waiting
wind plunges from snow to rain
before I know it, I'll be getting paid again
Jul 3 · 62
bedrock
KM Hanslik Jul 3
I am only good at a few things
scraped knees, bruised knuckles, and apologizing
I am sorry if the latter means nothing to you
but I am trying to swim with a deadweight.
I am trying to dig through bedrock
And all I keep finding
is more and more ways
to be sorry.
Jun 20 · 90
numb
KM Hanslik Jun 20
This is a modern age of promises
don't want to say it too much in case I wear it out
my mother told me I was beautiful until I stopped believing her
my ex said he loved me as he jacked off blacked out
dark room smelling of sweat (I wanted to *****)
but laid there numb instead
I don't want you to stop believing me
I don't want to live in a dark room
but sometimes it just feels so familiar
and sometimes I want to love but it feels so numb
Jun 18 · 73
elusive
KM Hanslik Jun 18
folded hands.
preemptively apologetic.
Fruition is a mixed bag,
reality elusive.
Jun 15 · 54
Cycles: without end
KM Hanslik Jun 15
Exploration (comfort)
Demand (retreat)
Apologize (cry)
Begin a new world: "Are you sure you want to start over?"
Click "yes." Proceed.
Emptiness (creation)
Fear (challenge)
Discomfort (practice)
"Are you sure you want to exit this page? Your changes may not be saved."
Hit "exit." Determination.
Start over: NEW WORLD UNLOCKED.
Jun 14 · 130
semi comfortable
KM Hanslik Jun 14
Semi comfortable thing
Orange breast, black wings
She is my mother (I think)
The one who birthed me left a long time-ago
Protracted sunlight through the leaves
Oak, maple, sycamore
All the ones she told me about
And I am home in a basement
Concrete walls, concrete floor.
The air breathes sweat
Throwing damp into my nest

Styrofoam lungs
Starry fractal eyes
I can do anything, she says,
And falls to her knees
Semi-fragile thing
Assured by her head
Knowing better by heart

A window is broken
The house is silent but
She remembers exactly why
Exactly when
Hair chopped off a long time ago
I think my mother is coming home
Keys on the table
Sound of closing doors
Too soft but I can hear her footsteps
I am home in a basement
Concrete walls, concrete home
Conversation is on mute
But I hear everything.
Jun 7 · 56
Shade
KM Hanslik Jun 7
I think I'll understand you better when
the leaves fall off the trees
because everything looks different without
shadows.
You said that I was lost but
I did not believe you until
I was found
everything looks different without the shade.
KM Hanslik Jun 6
I'm free
cities glow and blur beneath my feet;
if I was your telescope, you'd watch
until the night took away your stars.
If you were free, the trees would be still but
tethered we are to the push and the pull
water in my lungs (wash me clean)
fill me with salt, I will erode into the sand

affect/effect

nothing goes before anything.
Tie my wrists to my ankles (untie my shoelaces)
the waves know something
(I don't)
the planets may be waiting us out
we are tethered like birds;
no freer nor more trapped than the sand
pulling away, drifting back
and back; and pulling back toward (away from?) something
somewhere,
someone is standing

alone/surrounded
existing/not

somewhere between thought and being;
I am a million flowers that bloom & die all at once;
the earth explodes, harvests, repeats
It is not a mistake.
It is not calculated.
"Definition. - undefined"
Darkness is not the mere absence of light,
but an entity in&of itself.
Jun 5 · 55
spaceship
KM Hanslik Jun 5
I spend too much time
on my spaceship these days
"come back down, we need you"
a conversation is good
for a good several hours, depending
on the quality
I am up in my spaceship
I will come down eventually,
just not yet, I still
have work to do.
Jun 5 · 409
airplane
KM Hanslik Jun 5
Spinning, spinning, I'm an airplane
I'm a pinch of table salt
time spends money --> money burns because
it moves too fast
like your Rolex, like your hobby
grew too tall, now it is burning
twin towers, deliberate chaos
chaos (chaos), nothing
spins the wheels,
spinning spinning spinning
look out the window (it's invisible)
I can't see with my eyes or my brain
dissect me, simplest form, put me back in the ground
I am the dirt
equations illuminate questions,
answers don't exist

I'll have what they're having.
Jun 5 · 227
Islands
KM Hanslik Jun 5
Don't dig in this ground
I grow sprouts (I grow sprouts)
I am not made of stone
I can grow, I can mould
pick me apart,
piece by p i e c e
I am not a window,
I am a tapestry

You will never know
(you will never know)
I am an island,
wreck your ships upon me
because islands can erode
back into the sea.
Jun 5 · 50
silent killers
KM Hanslik Jun 5
Slow-lethal:
black rust in my arteries
black air in my lungs
Instant-"harmless":
knife blade
empty stomach
heavy eyes
KM Hanslik May 4
I am giving myself over to her now
my wings blackened from the flight here
but she takes in all sorts of strays
they roll onto her doorstep like drunkards chasing dreams down the gutter,
warm embrace me now before it's too late
warm come-hold-my-hand-I-can't-do-this-alone
and she is always waiting
she is full of light and swaying over trees
she is heavy toppled over like a picket fence yet light as helium
and I want to know her
and I want to bask in her bed
and she is endless
and I will never know how many others have come before or how many my lineage will leave,
but I float away in time down a stream (so-narrow-tuck-my-limbs-in-scream)
at the edge of the bank,
my body shrinks and expands;
I am a crumbling masterpiece I am awaiting either 1) reconstruction, or 2) damnation
(reunification)
on a while, I ride my ego home
illusions are spellbinding in the jungle
she twists at my ankles, prickles under my skin
(am I in?) Who knows what kind of state this is
but through the wall, she calls to me
alone at last
we cease to be.
KM Hanslik May 4
If you could see me, I think you'd fail to say
that this is all just inappropriate;
my breaths more shallow than your threats,
I miss my mark with every stone.
Maybe I am learning, not in the collision
not in the aftermath,
but in the act of falling, maybe I can see
something there alone
I come across from time to time, each in
a different form, and never
with the same intentions.
Feb 28 · 409
knock-outs
KM Hanslik Feb 28
Baby blue
Standing there in your worn-out shoes
your fingers are gardeners
I am planted in your soil
and if the world is maybe 4.6 billion years
of re-twisting and retrying new sequences of DNA
then I think this is the end-all
200,000 years leading up to this,
200,000 years and I am standing in your light;
because you are the gardener and I am the flower
raise me kindly and I will grow back every year
tend me daily and I will bloom only for you
knock-outs, we're made strong
defy the odds
I will repeat your song
back to you
even when you have forgotten it
even when the cold surrounds you
I belong to you.
Jan 31 · 359
language barrier
KM Hanslik Jan 31
Maybe you don't know what I'm saying
maybe only I know
maybe we're stranded on a planet of monolingual people
all speaking in their native tongue
Jan 31 · 116
generator
KM Hanslik Jan 31
My heart's hooked up to a generator
the power went out a while ago
and I don't know
how it keeps pumping
but at least it looks like I am still here.
Jan 24 · 227
empathy: blessing/curse
KM Hanslik Jan 24
Based on things I can't predict,
our errors are not all-inclusive;
lines are not perfectly straight
and sometimes there's too much distance between us,
sometimes not enough.

Based on actions I don't yet understand,
survival becomes stalled into a thing called "existing"
I don't know what is flammable in here
but can feel the burning of my own skin,
I am ready to ignite;
some people are cold and that excites me
my secret weakness
I like to bring the warmth
but sometimes it is only enough
to bandage our own wounds;

The art of imitation is a slippery *****,
don't trust me with your secrets, they may too closely echo my own
and when you strike a nerve I might seek out refuge in your pain
I know I am not the first passenger to feel this way.

Based on things I haven't come to terms with yet,
I am beginning to realize the incalculability of our
so seemingly deliberate crossings;
so don't trust me with your secrets,
I apply a honey salve to everything that hurts
and I don't know if you are ready yet
to feel that sweet soothing burn.
Jan 23 · 124
one for the team;
KM Hanslik Jan 23
How do you treat an illness that's invisible,
how do you mend a would that won't heal?
Sanctify my in whatever way you find appropriate,
it's fine, I've always liked variety;
but these curtains are making it too dark in here,

and I could have anything I want;
raise the stakes, I enjoy a good challenge
but don't leave me with no light to go by
don't smile and kick my legs out from under me;
I try to root my bones deep inside my body
but my shell is too soft,
my skeleton wants to be on the outside.

The ground is shaking but I don't run;
for all of you, this one's on me;
I've always been a good sport,
and this time I'm taking
one for the team.
KM Hanslik Jan 23
we're hungry and we've come to collect
don't mind what's yours, mind what could be yours;
there's such a thing as "too sweet", and
i don't think i can stomach it anymore;
don't plant seeds in my lawn and call it your garden,
i make my own peace with what i grow.
You call it a catastrophe the way the world is always raining down on us,
i tell you to learn how to handle the blows.

We aren't crazy, just out of our heads a little
our bones aren't broken, just a bit brittle
I know you want to hold the world down with me,
we might even find a way to do it
but don't close doors on the things you've seen
I know you want this to be evergreen;
but nobody with clean hands has ever learned anything
about tending to their own soil.
KM Hanslik Jan 23
a crash course is the best way to learn;
describe the world in ways I cannot understand, and I
will do my best to undo the hinges underneath your skin.
chase the shadows until they leave you alone,
your heart skips like a record, off beat
stuck on a loop but let it rest a minute.
Don't **** my vibe this early in the night,
wait at least until my skin crawls and my shoulders cramp up in my sleep
test  me a few more times and I just might snap
my shell is only so thick;
you're cooking up a storm but I intend to stir the ***
if you find me on my knees, you'd best bet
i've got a knife up my sleeve
best to just leave it alone;
a rolling stone gathers more speed
the nearer it gets to its target.
Jan 23 · 217
i wish i could, though
KM Hanslik Jan 23
How long does it take
for the words to travel from your brain to your vocal cords?
How long does it take
before you realize scratching names into sidewalks
is not enough
the stone will wear away
and your fingernails are ******
and you are walking home alone
and you can't save anybody?
Jan 14 · 97
seedlings
KM Hanslik Jan 14
Clean air is hard to find these days
you said summer is over, but I still feel it in my body
tiny seedlings feeding off my oxygen
I fold over clean pages and mark down their corners
maybe this is the way things have always been,
I don't know too much about the way time passes
#time #seed #plant #tree #growth #life #planet #plans #change #new #oxygen
Jan 14 · 180
overflowing
KM Hanslik Jan 14
The glass is not half full today,
it is simply overflowing.
My pulse is not in my chest, it's in my ears
the sun is not in the sky, it's in my eyes
my eyes are pressing notes onto yellow rough pages,
fingers fumbling, occasionally misguided;
aimlessly scratching what I am
(what am I?),

but it's not just fluff and clouds here, there's a soft and shallow tune playing in the corners;
it follows my footsteps wherever I go and hides in my shadow, elusive, and I
have never heard of such a thing from any text or book,
but I am yearning now and I have come to believe in phantoms that lurk
in silence waiting for subtle signals,
things we may never identify
in neither origins or nature,
but we open our doors and our hearts to them anyway;
we feel their heavy tug under our skin and we are restless
but we must be patient;

This is me in the doorway,
waiting with my arms at my sides and my socks getting ***** from the dust on the floor,
this is me standing in the doorway
and the drink in my hand is not full, it is spilling
all over me like time in a bowl
like words in my throat;

and there is me, quietly,
tea stained wet socks, a bright smile
and there is me, patiently,
patiently waiting.
Jan 12 · 155
origami heart
KM Hanslik Jan 12
Everything through my eyes,
breathing slow through these
steady styrofoam lungs
origami heart, I fold like the paper that covers your skin
it rustles when you move,
barely a shield against a world of sharp teeth and daggers
but you tell me you're invincible out there
you tell me that armor is just another disguise
I disagree, but I guess that we
are all free to choose how and when we want to be bruised.
Jan 10 · 663
breaking in
KM Hanslik Jan 10
Try to eat up the sunshine
swallow it like your little white pills
if you don't mind me saying so, I think the clouds look quite lovely
with the shade of your eyes today
but you tell me otherwise
carbon footprints, we've definitely made
our mark on this world
trace our trails back until they separate,
call it fate
but I think you're right
all this commotion collides into odds
incalculable, call it the weather
but things are always changing on us
break out our sweaters and break them in
you know how much the cold used to bother me
but I barely notice it anymore.
Jan 8 · 123
time is endless
KM Hanslik Jan 8
Don't you know
these funny words fly from my lips
time is endless and I'm falling
we can't stay here forever
we can't always kiss away the pain
I stand in the doorway and wait for your footsteps to return
it feels like I'm always waiting
Maybe we don't know what's good for us in the end but I've always wanted to be alive
we don't get to bargain for more time
but I am going to spend it all
I am going to spend it all, and I promise

it will be worth it.
Jan 5 · 373
stick figures
KM Hanslik Jan 5
We break from these dreams without thought
"we can do anything," we cry
kicked in the back of the knees.
The bruises never show, but
we might hold out just a little bit more
might take things a little more slowly this time.

If all is well and calculated,
then aren't our errors just an altered path?
You see me as a stick figure,
another character that wanders by
familiar in my distance
safe in my unchanging rhythms.
But to each their own, I suppose;
we find meaning in whatever comfort we choose;
security blankets our minds and our homes
but I've run my fair number of red lights,
I've done things I'm not proud of.

You set straight lines around the things that I do and say;
when walls break down, you always ask why they failed,
never how to build them stronger.

And I am tired of this empty playdate
with the idea of "goodness" and "virtue"
I pick up the phone but your line is dead;
I continue to be a stick figure.
Dec 2018 · 256
canvas
KM Hanslik Dec 2018
I am a blank canvas
fill me with what you like
KM Hanslik Dec 2018
Almost everybody wants to be here;
I don't know if it's
the drugs or the choice in music,
but it's hard not to feel calm with your
big-voice-gotta-laugh-thing going on,
or someone else talking a mile a minute about
the best ways to **** time in the suburbs.
At least one night this week, it kind of feels like we've got it going for us.
Nov 2018 · 227
11:22
KM Hanslik Nov 2018
I am not as innocent as I look
I have craters in my bones
my blood flows too quickly and my heart is full of black dirt
but this soil is good for planting
so I told myself I'll be a garden
I tell myself it matters, when
it really, really doesn't
the black soil slips her fingers under my skin
and cradles my skull to her chest
we are flying, she says,
but it feels more like falling;
she is bottomless and I want to reach new depths.
Nov 2018 · 2.1k
back-track;
KM Hanslik Nov 2018
There are flowers springing from my bones
in places they were never planted
fracture my skull and call it apathy
I say pain is a better road than dying alone;
can't you see the way my vision is blurred,
squinted too long at the sun now I think I've done damage
burned holes in my corneas before the age of 21, but those are just
surface things, right?
the road feels a lot longer when the cold air hits all my soft spots, like my neck so I cover it up
pooling all my efforts into growing thicker blood that will keep my skin warm
;keep kissing bruises on my arms, thinking that love will heal each new halfhearted attempt at self-sabotage
or manage the leftover evidence;
did somebody forget their brakelights on?
I'm trying to figure out how to get these needles out of my head
rocket science, learning to reverse detonate what might be left
in my system
system check, leaving sticky residue
behind me in my heavy concave tracks
softly trailing back
gotta learn to do it right the first time before I backtrack
my ears ringing like a sound clap;
bringing up old war wounds like we've lost gives us some sense of entitlement
things we don't want to lack,
leave the last stack
where I can mull over the aftermath
digging graves for those who are still alive,
burn my skin tonight
burn it right off my bones so I'll know I'm alive
still kicking like the second round
the afterthought that realizes what went down the first time
don't let me out of the house tonight,
god knows what I might find.
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