jesse and i used to play games of fairies as children. i still have the drawing book which we gathered "facts" from. her crazy neighbor (with basically ten siblings.Mormons) played the games with us, but she too lived them. we put out "food" for them, ran from evil spirits, used powers to fuel the plot, ran through the trees and down hills, and used leaves, sticks, the weather, and even sounds in the wind to move the story. we grew to dismiss it as child's play (though i can't speak for the girl), but it was real. it was as real as anything, and affected us more than all else. our childhood was a fairy-tale it just didn't get a "happily ever after" in cursive at the bottom of the page. it was magic all the same.

It was quite a pickle,
I have to say.
It haunted me,
Both night and day.
You may believe
One's never scary-
But this pickle had me
Very wary.
My friends they said
"For HEAVEN'S sake,"
The pickle's only
A piece of cake!"
So they went ahead
And took a slice
Now they could see
It wasn't nice
A rather bitter taste
It did supply
A rather salty cake-
Their mouths were dry
And without water
(The pricy job,
Of digging a well)
They began to sob
See this did nothing
But deepen their thirst
This pickle of mine
Was one of the worst
They were awful busy,
They wouldn't chat
So I stayed to talk
To my hairless rat.
And it had me concerned
That the pickle had me beat
And would run off with my tongue
Down Mountainview Street
He said the pickle would make me
A fool in this town
This thing would convict me
So I swallowed it down.

7:30PM, October 9, 2015, 65*F, 10mph breeze, 5% humidity (somehow 10% where I was sitting), 50.0001% chance of rain, dark, cold, late, loud...I think that's enough. Alright! Spoiler alert, Birkston High won the game. If you simply have ears you've known that for a while (many of us who were at the game don't). All the people in Grenfolkshire were there, so there were some empty bleachers, but the Student section was full and lively, and did I say loud, because LOUD....! My ears were ringing (at a B8 note, for the musically overcurious people) for three days straight. I think it was a healthcare tactic, dare I say it. All those figurehead townspeople were there as well, like Mayor Arnofold Plattersbury with his orange jumpsuit, waving a pompom in the air like he just didn't care. Really, he didn't-I got whacked in the head with it eleven times. Recently, after taking a recent poll on the recent event, it was found that only about 35% of people really knew what happened, a number that has declined, recently. This very well is contributed to 1.) most of the people are there for the free food and don't exactly major in football 2.) teenagers are highly social creatures 3.) a bunch of hands in the air and six foot tall mammoths standing on the bleachers will tend to block the view of the people who are five foot small. The freshmen had a real problem on their heads. Nevertheless, the Wildcats found themselves with the bell for another year, whether they knew it or not. The Panthers found themselves nose-in-the-dirt, tail-dragging, while we found ourselves filing out like a herd of wild penguins onto the field.

Look, how darling!

Angels float above her bed.

Look closer though, darling?

Look at all that's in her head.



Look, how sweet!

Her eyes shine like stars.

Look closer though, sweet?

Look at her invisible scars.



Look, how precious!
Her actions are so kind.

Look closer though, precious?

Look at the pain in her mind.



Look, how cute,

She is just so innocent.

Look closer though, cute?

Look at who's paid rent.



Look, how adorable!

Her garden always grows.

Looker closer though, adorable?

Look at how much she knows.

Ed thought he was a cat
So he gave a rat
To his dearest friend Magee.
He didn't take it lightly..

The rancid little thing
That poor Ed did bring,
Fell from Magee's hand,
Into his frying pan.

The rat cooked in his dish
Among the chips and fish,
And neither of them knew
The rat had joined it too.

The men clambered, glorped, and glopped
Until the timer stopped.
So they put it on a plate,
And then it was too late.

The grimy paws dug in
As Ed's face begin to grin,
And Magee was most aware
Of some furry little hair.

Magee quickly threw it out
And hit Ed all about.
He shooed his pal away,
Soggy Ed was now a stray.

But Ed finished up the dinner,
Though felt a little thinner.
Now old Ed has fleas,
And will probably get rabies.

Winding through a forest

Is a path, with as many branches,

As the trees to either side,

And this one doesn't try to hide,

But has never been given many chances.



And on it walks one man,

Walking all alone,

His head held high and mighty,

Though his hair is colored lightly,

And he shows an unusual tone.



And he keeps walking,

Through the forest,

Gathering up the fallen leaves

And growing thousands of new trees,

Helping it to become its best.



Bald and evil vultures soar,

Flying above the one man's head,

Trying to stop the rising star,

From letting the world progress so far,

Because they live to feast on the dead.



And he keeps walking,

With little regard to his foes,

Writing the truth in the tree bark,

Doing his best to leave a mark,

That will guide those through their lows.



And the vultures carry

Onward, Upwards, feeding on dead

Following that guilty man,

I bet this end you didn't plan,

THEY TOOK OFF WITH HIS HEAD

I pay no mind to the man in the doorway
I've been learned that he will do no harm.
I diverge my attention from the knife in his hand,
Though I feel like calling out an alarm.
I pay no mind to what I hear inside
I've been learned that they don't mean a thing.
I keep the shriekings behind the bars of my cage
Though they often dance out when there's drinking
I pay no mind to deep grayscale urges.
I've been learned to work to give a ****.
I have a head who'd never lead me that way,
Though it's become harder to herd all the lamb.
I pay no mind to the changing of eyes
I've been learned that it's purely of face
I cover my own as I try to ignore them
Though they see how they're planning a race.
I pay no mind to the battles I witness
I've been learned to accept all our world.
I turn off the screen and cover my ears
Though the fists of my hands each have curled.

I watched you leave through the window.
Did you even think twice?
I bet not.

You used to be a sad, old thing,
Silent and fat, dangerously nice
Not even a clue.

But did you...did you know?
You certainly thought you knew me...
Mistake number 1.

But I, I made some terrible mistakes.
I needed you to see,
You became a friend...

And an odd friend at that!
Picking fights not meant for you-
Didn't help anyone.

And picking fights with me!
Until you knew what I'd do.
I thought it odd.

Polar opposites, but it worked alright.
The world seemed to move again.
Well, it was twirling down.

It was something that I'd never do,
Which is why you would begin.
Greedy, still, for a rich one.

You were told to close that window,
By maybe, your mother?
I know she hated me.

Or, just because you didn't need loyalty,
But numbers and numbers-another, another.
I wasn't going along!

You knew such, so you wanted me out.
I was the wrong one for that.
It tore me apart.

Simply, I was a gateway. A way
To become an insider...you rat!
Like all of the others.

I must say, rich-y, you fit well.
It's a blood-******* town.
We all hate each other.

But mostly, me, you see.
You didn't know I was down.
It's all happened before.

You knew that! I told you!
You just didn't have a heart.
I bet not.

Did you even think twice,
Before making a start?
I bet not!

Cars all driving off
To work in a rush,
For fear of missing the same
Old thing.

Wind is desperately
Trying to move me,
But it isn't going to do
A thing.

Things all running,
Rushing, flying out to see
New places, but never stay
So long to look.

We could all be
Going somewhere,
If we stayed
A while to look.

Look at the footprints,
Running through the
Grass, all so
Unaware.

Trying to mark
Something, somewhere.
But where? Well they're
Unaware.

Unaware of the world
Turning us where it
Disappears

Holding onto dandelions
Thinking maybe I could
Disappear

I told my soul I'd never grow
To fall into such a trap.
That promise I did keep, I sleep
A restless, teary nap.
Now it builds inside me wildly
And creeps out from my cap
Tell me how this happened
How it happened to me...

I told my heart never to start
To show my skin again
To lock myself inside and hide
Behind an ever jolly grin.
Do not go, I know, I know
And do not let them in.
Tell me how this happened
How it happened to me...

I warned my mind to bind
My heart inside my chest
The criticizing eyes, their lies
I see better than the rest.
All too blind and so unkind,
I will not pass their test
Tell me how this happened
How this happened to me...

I must hide, for I have tried
To reveal my soul
Oh how battered, I was shattered
Dig a corpse sized hole.
I'm still the same, but out of shame
I burnt outside to coal.
Tell me how this happened
How this happened to me.

i've really messed up
my whole life now f
                                    a
                         ­              l
                                         t
                                           e
                                             ring
slowly   each moment pushed
on my heart   a   l i t t l e  h e a v i e r

waiting for it to ...BURST...
and blow us all    p
                             U
                          ^^^^
i just don't know what could've been done+

preventing a storm :
only works when you know
it's going to come, coME, COME!
-not- when you're in the eye
•
tOo   tOnGuE     tIeD to speak
and just to hürt to try


ive gr0WN accustomed to
        u  m
the l        p    in the throat
the damming of ~water~ behind eyelids                                          f  c
the quivering of my reddened  a  e
and the knifē through the back to my heart

isn't it a shhhhhhame when pain is so common                         B O
and we learn HOW to T  T
                                        L  E   it up       y
and where to store it so                      a
nobody se•es                                    w
                 only   ..   to be hiding it a
from those who gave you heartbreak
                         $         !
and still they act surprised,
                   and condemn you
                   *  *   *   *             tops
when you    POP    off the ^^^
and DrrrüNK enLY g..g..guzzled them all

walking rounds in wilson ave.
its such a sight to see
the looks that all the people give
to my dog Richaro and me

its like they have never seen
a poodle with a man
have they never been to
the show in Birmingham

perhaps it is the haircut
that grows unevenly
covering the head and tail
but none of the body

or perhaps it is the little shoes
with itty bitty bows
funny, maybe, to wear such things
without baby toes

i could be wrong, for it may
the amount of attitude
turning up a tail to strangers
not really in the mood

so many problems there may be
from bad breath to muddy paws
the nasty things left on the streets
"you know that there are laws..."

but truly the pair of us
are not such a shame to see
you have not met Richaro yet
you have met only me

Can I just ******* bury my head in the sand?
Go out and cry in the rain?
Stay until I or the world passes by
And washes away all the pain?
Could I just ******* belong to this world of ours
Without changing my soul?
There's nowhere for me,
I'm dying to see.
Frankly I'm out of control.

Today
-Clear skies. No pigs. (Sorry kid)
-Dry. No cats and dogs. (Sorry kid)
-Windy. 30mph gusts. (Sorry Gramps)

There's a pit where my heart should be
And it'd **** me if you found out,
But I suppose there's no reason you could,
Not when the writing's this ugly.
I don't even have a doubt.

The marks that I got were accepted,
Except for the "two" in my scripting
"Untidy and dull. Short and fat,"
She wrote in perfect penman's art.
Well I didn't care too much for that.

And I watched them pass under the scope,
Fluttering dove feathers with delicate designs,
Learning what they meant, not what was drawn
In bronze or cream or scarlet masks,
Where all traces of blank spaces were gone.

But the mind learns what wasn't taught
And then the eyes can't help but see
The pretty slants of every letter and
The smooth curves between the words
That draw in the reader oh-so lustfully.

Without a care to what was written,
The mind befalls upon the neat,
Tidy, perfect, intricacy of handwriting.
And I could soon see for myself
That I lacked this very crucial feat.

And all my work became so obsolete.
My stories offered so much more, but THEY,
They had the notebooks with the colored cover.
The pages wrought to dust inside
But people tend to push that all away.

So my silken words in their ugly ink
Fell into the shelves without a trace.
All they wanted was to be seen
From inside, but now they're too ashamed
To begin the story with such a rotten face.

You know you drive me crazy.
Quite truthfully, doubly,
Because you drove me off the road,
Literally, and figuratively.

I've normally embraced that,
Not literally, because it's abstract,
But this craziness is mad,
In a double meaning.

We were never attached,
Physically or emotionally.
So I'm not sure why I'm so hurt
On the inside, not the outside (for I know)

So I'm guessing something's hidden
In the world and in my soul,
Because I'm not sad that you left
Me and not your own blind ego.

They pulled me into darkness that night.
I had no reason to believe it wasn't light .
I had no reason to believe it wasn't right.

They told me that he loved me and I believed.
My friends, I called them such unknowingly.
I never thought I needed time to see.

They put me up in shackles that midday.
It was part of a game that we always used to play.
We'd all try to escape is what they'd say.

They went off on their separate ways to start.
All part of the play, I knew the part.
Magic was always at play in the dark.

They never knew how deep the game reached me.
Since they never really saw what I could see.
So I was quite already reaching my crazy.

They left me longer in the room that time.
The ramblings in my head began to rhyme,
As my feelings all began to disalign.

They all were soon through, and watching me.
Throwing stones and lines while on my knees.
Then they turned around regardless of my pleas.

They lied to say they ever really cared.
I cried for all the times I ever dared.
Never have I ever felt so scared.

But since that day, I now can see
Just how wrong I was to believe
That all it really was was just a dream.

At River End
Or at the chop block,
Any old place-
It's still better than what I've got

When I see you
Out with her
And the jewels you give her
I Can't help but see they look better

On her skin and oh
How I get jealous
And how I wish
I Were all she is to you

Then maybe I'd have you
And not the lock
You put over my heart
When you left but threw out the key

And I'm sure
It's at the bottom
Of the sea
Nowhere to be found

Oh lucky me
Cursed soul of mine
I still have a heart
But it's not worth any mans time