Dit is leegte
Voelbaar, aanwijsbaar
Zwaar op het hart
Zwart

To smile
Not knowing
Whether you mean it
It hurts

When ink fades
Stories live
And colour the world
Forever

It's 4 A.M., you're on your afternoon coffee
The fuel you drink as black as my night
Still you'll be sleeping long before I will
When this 4 A.M. will have stolen your daylight

By now your tomorrow has taken my weary
This witch hour feels like eternal remorse
A limbo between our past and my future
This night's silence drowning out yours

Are you counting the hours from you to where I am?
Assuming your waking equals my yawn?
Will dreams come to me with this AM turned PM?
Will you love me again when your dusk meets my dawn?

A breeze seizes me
Leaves fall like make believe, I
Find my peace in grief

Every day when I wake it’s that daze that gives me
The choice to be lost or rejoice in the moment
That begins and convinces the rest of the day
To be irreversibly  just as he was

You left me…
Almost speechless
Like when everything you want to say actually shuts you up
There were flashes of discourses by the greatest men ever
Lyrics to the songs that you never understood
But also there was silence that you would not have respected
Mixed in with a whisper just not loud enough to hear
Ironic how three words, you deemed suited for this moment
Spurred such a stream of simultaneous shush and scream
That gave me both the will to ignore your words forever
As it did the urge to tell you everything to your face

The belief your life is over
With nothing to be done
Its last part in isolation
Waiting
For the pain to become too much
The pain, the pain
Staring at the same walls
Forty-six days in a row
Never knowing whether
Tomorrow you’ll wake up
And if there is, if you’ll survive
A future left in store
Delirium, depression
A hole left in your soul
Then coming out on the other side
Only to realize
Everyone has moved on

Then who are you to utter these three words to my face
Who are you to dictate how my life after that should change
The words you chose so carelessly, I will take to the heart
Just not to leave the past behind but to make a brand new start
I’ll look you in the eye and use your words  against you
When I tell you how I am about to
“Get over it”

She kissed him
Like New York was the city she lived in
Like Manhattan was her home
When she laid her fingers against the window
She felt it
His heartbeat
Warm flesh through cold glass
Her reflection mirroring his
While she looked out on skyscrapers
Empire State, she
Saw him across the room
In the silence of the empty penthouse
Louder than the racket of
The city buzz below
She heard him
His whisper
Telling her he loved her, how beautiful she was
She kissed him
Like New York was the city she lived in
While never having left the Europe that is home

“I’m gonna die”
The tear in my mother’s eye
Was enough
For my mind to start writing my will
Was convincing
Me that living would soon be done
In a month or two
“I can scream, I can cry
but that won’t change nothing”
Wondered by my own leap
To that conclusion
Shocked by the suddenly short
Life expectation of an 11-year old
Holding on to the pavement
Delaying the point
Of no return to a careless life

When it comes down to it
At the elemental level
Of this reality
There’s me and there’s you
The anti-me
Perfectly symmetrical, but anti-
Me
Linked so closely
Yet
Ill-fated to be
Upon collision
Destined for annihilation
Leaving only traces
Of the energy that bound us
From opposite sides of the charge
Of the mystery

Yet this, here, you and I, we
Matter
Separated by the fundamental differences
In our nature
Still, both, tethered
To the laws of physicality
The laws of motion that are woven
Into the fabric
Of this galaxy
This universe
That sees us
That sees you
Unversed in the ways of being part of someone’s world
A rare but precious sight
And me,
Beyond any particular probability
Afraid of what could be
Of the decimation that would ensue
Upon our union,
Opting out of the us, the me and you,
Instead to be
The anti
You

These hands
Written on by life
Will write
With only my words
This death I’ve died
A thousand times
Is mine alone

This skin
That stood out in fields
Alone
That has drowned in  sees
Alone
That has scarred from
Words and glances

These veins
Pumping through
This life force
The blood that brought
The marrow to the bone
That brought a life
That was never mine
Into the fabric of this body
Into the struggle, the effort
The wisdom, the peace

The day I was launched off my feet
Sleep crawling
To side lines
That I might never leave
The debris
Has scattered into memories
Forgotten
Even by themselves

These lungs
Have whispered prayers
Bellowed poems
And swallowed pride
Choking on the ghost of death
One last time

These bones have set
In crooked ways
A skeleton
That’s lost
The art of support
Stiffened from
Bracing for impact

From the very day
That I decided
That if I can’t shine
I’ll slay
Support myself in every which way
Support this weight
That I’ve hoisted on my shoulders
These boulders
That I’ll stand up

These feet
Leaving no trace
But the distance between us,
Will go
Where no-one will find me
Will dance through ditches
Curve into corners
Coast out of questions
Throttle and choke
The fear

Atomic, we are
She and I,
And all of us
Covalently co-valiant
Exchanging energies
Between us
Building a bond
That’ll keep us entangled
Our essences
Bursting out of shells
That’ll no longer define
Our properties
We change states
As we do shapes
Solidly condensed, we are
No longer ephemeral
Feminine, maybe
But on our own terms
Strongly nuclear
In our common core

The wind lifts the leaves from the ground
And takes along my thoughts on a flee
They’re up in the air and so far out
Able to conquer the world without me

I sit on the park bench staring
At my own ability to fly
Holding myself back to follow
My dreams as they reach for the sky

Hoping that one day autumn will
Join forces with what I want to be
Pushing the leaves back to the ground
To unite and form a pair of wings for me

Winds march over boulevards
As winding as his wanderings
Leafs leave branches barren
To make the grey skies seen
Clouds cry bitter raindrops
Soaking sour solitude
The puddles promise solace
To drown in to his waist
Torso left to nature’s whims
And storms to wear him out
Car alarms laugh in his face
Howling mockeries his way
Loudly, thunders call him
To give in to the fogs and mist
Life was never as redundant
As in autumn’s heady lists

The boulevard knows I don’t care
My hair’s messed up sometimes
These cobble stones remind me
That roughness has its charm

I turn a corner, find myself
In a whole new street of dreams
The fountain whispers to the wind
That nothing stays the same

As I wander unknown alleys
Each junction poses questions
Every showcase I walk by
Displays what life could be

Each passerby’s a promise
A sample story to be lived
The hilltop view reveals all
Of the possible paths to take

Strolling squares and avenues
I am searching to get lost
To find what I could never find
Where shortcuts are the norm

The cathedral proves to be the x
On my worn-out treasure map
The stained glass lays a mosaic
Of nuances on my heart

The arches paint perspective
Into my constricted reference
Their majesty lifts up my head
Compels an upward glance

The wideness resonates a truth
That shakes me to my core
The carillon sings an anthem
That accompanies new strides

Het hart is
Een bodemloze put
Elke schreeuw echoot
De leegte groot als
Het gevuld wordt met het
Woord dat de holte
Doet klinken zonder
Het te vullen met
Levend water

Hold your breath, forget
Which bridge to cross is about
What to leave behind

Halfway into solid soils,
These roots have changed their minds
Fractures welcomed quickly
For a chance at new sustenence
Broken, they are, still,
Open to a fresh start

A shard has found its way,
Its place, its role,
Its eternal purpose
Part of a whole as broken as he is
Still, life, painted out of imperfections
Only cracks and stains
Form patterns that mean anything

The waves roll in
Broken against rocks, cliffs,
Heady as the lists they offer their battles to
Never stilling the insatiable thirst for living
Yet always enough
To toil, turmoil, retreat
And re-emerge

The crystal starts its free fall
Darting down in ominous torments
Forlorn hope of wholeness
Only to be broken into molecules
Shattered by its very nature
Melted into volatility
Still permanent like the sky it came from

The earth trembles me every time,
Fragile, into hiding
This world, broken, new grounds opened
Mountains crumbled, veil torn
Still I am, unstirred
As the dawn dissolves all darkness
Every time heaven opens
I am merged into peace

Als de dag je brengt
Waar je zelf nooit zou komen
En de nacht je geeft
Wat je nog nooit is gebeurd
Als je weg zich mengt
Met verzwegen dromen
Voel je dat je leeft
En buiten de lijntjes kleurt

By now,
The seasons don't remember
Why now is not the time
For snowfall, in August
But August started it all

By now, all things are expected
But nothing is foreseen
Would I feel more affected
If the sidelines hadn't taken me in?

I hear you like a white noise
I feel you like a flatline
'Why' is a question I'll ask anytime
But 'what' is not worthwhile

Roots tangled firm as an oak tree
Wings like an eagle spread wide
Life never answered in full
Stops
Lost as it was in the extra time

By now the tingles are changing
The summer breeze freezes sensation to stone
Extremities breaking away from the anchor
The long August chill
Is bringing me home

Coffee meats my weariness in
All-out open battle
Plays at swords with drowsy dreams
Preying on fatigue
Under foamy life traps
Caffeine lurks ahead
Closing in on oblivious bliss
It pulls me back to consciousness
Now my only hope for sleep is
On spiking my cappuccino

Weightlessly
Whole-heartedly
Dripping emotions
Eloquently evoking
Subtly stating art
Gracing gifts


           Beauty
   And            bliss
In                   every
Big breath bringing
Life                       on
The                    floor


Pure                        in
­Passion                   of
Existence expanding
As                  eternity
Is                        lived
Out                     loud


         When the
  Music         swells
And
The                    
   Beat           grows
          Stronger    


The world fades into
The
Movement
That
Seizes
Silently tells a story

Morgen is de minste zorg
Zonder waterval aan vragen
Waarom? Wat? *** wil je dat ik dat doe?
Nu
Is altijd meer dan honger,
Gisteren nooit minder dan spijt

Het leven leest voor uit de legende
Maar leeft die niet
Nog steeds roepen de weken om stilstand
De uren om snelheid
De seconden om jou

En dus geef ik mij over
Aan de afkeer, de omkeer, de terugkeer, de wederkeer
Wederom went de nieuwe start
Tot elke gedachte versmelt tot vervreemding
Van voordeur, gewoonte en de geur van dat huis

Waar ooit thuis was is nu een regel,
Een vooroordeel dat schreeuwt 'nooit meer'
Een wereld te leren leidt altijd tot anders
Maar het keerpunt komt,
Onherroepelijk
Zoals geen dag zó steekt dat hij nooit stopt

Zo is morgen de minste zorg
En jij het verschiet dat elk keerpunt doet lonken

If my mirror would listen I’d tell her to stand
Out in the rain, with her hands
Turned up and her fingers spread
To feel the drops that resemble the pain
Seep through but never form
A sea that will, when it storms
Bring back all the hurt to the shore

If my mirror would listen I’d tell her to stay
Just where she is ‘cause it is ok
To gaze out of the window and wait
For the sun to rise and make
The rain that brought in all the mourn
Dry up and leave the soil
Ready for a new flower to be born

If my mirror would listen I’d tell her to raise
Her head up to the sun that
Shines on her face and feel sad
Because light is not all there will be
And clouds will come once again
To give her the chance to stand
Out in the rain with her hands

Maybe there won’t be a
Last drop
To run over the cup
Maybe everything is just
One more drop
To fill the ocean up

De zon gaat langzaam onder
En zakt weg in de oceaan
Hier aan de rand van de wereld
Voelt alles zwaarder aan

Of ik nu fluister, bid of schreeuw
Alleen is hier pas echt alleen
De leegte van de horizon,
Slechts de golven om me heen

Ik weet niet waar het water stopt
En waar de lucht begint
De kleuren smelten samen
Mijn blik wazig in de wind

En met de zon daalt het besef
Het leven is als een oceaan
Golven en storm zijn relatief
Als je op het strand blijft staan

Ik weet niet waar het heden stopt
En de toekomst beginnen gaat
Zelfs als alles anders wordt
Is dat vaak te weinig, te laat

Maar als de zon haar licht onttrekt
Aan de branding van mijn bestaan
Verlicht ineens van achter mij
Het schijnsel van de maan

Zo leert een lege horizon dat
De hemel de verste zee verlicht
Zelfs in het donker van de nacht
Biedt U mij helder zicht

El muro me das
Sin mostrarme la puerta
Huérfano soy, de alma y pie
Limites pintas
En colores de retos
La pintura me vendes a cambio de paz
Libertad tomas
La conviertes en miedo
Con sangre escribes mi nueva canción
Promesas me haces
De pasión y impacto
Los confundes con lucha y labor
Me haces creer que
Deseo rodera
Sentirme segura y en comodidad
Me robas del nuevo,
Ser aventurero
Mis sueños ahogas en ayer

Blank heart, blank life
Your pen leaves ink stains,
Black rivers
That seep into my palms
Drip down my hands
Stain my fingerprints
With traces of you
I sit here,
On the edge of mystery,
A thriller, open-ended
Jibberish wishes that
Stumble off my lips and listen
Only to where your music flows
Beats, blows through unsteady determination
Plaster falling from walls as
Shels from eyes
Fresco revelation

The light in your eyes
Prolongs every day
And each time makes way
For the joy of the moment
So simple and pure
Your words are a path
And each time you let
Me grow a bit more
And although I know
That this will once end
I know I will spend
Forever with you

I sit down and smell innocence
Sunday afternoon, playing
Hide-and-seek on bikes,
Climbing over heaps and piles
Of extended-backyard-adventures
My friend looks at me scared
Worried about crashing mid-air
I only think of home
Sticky black poison that
Almost strangled me to death
Once, when life was simpler
Despite all that I smile
At diesel and benzene
Exhaust smog and fumes
Turn blue skies even brighter
High on childhood dreams
If only I inhale, deep enough
A scent that takes me back
Over miles of detachment
And oceans of growing up
A memory fuming of
Family and safety,
Only needing a engine
To move forward in life

Het geluk dat stuk viel
Op de vloer van deze wereld
Had gevangen kunnen worden
Door een uitgestrekte hand
Uitgestrekt over grenzen
Met de wens om een mens te
Raken en in liefde te delen
Van het gevangen geluk

Vechtend voor een verloren zaak
Doorboort ze maar al te vaak
Haar eigen hart

Voert ze steeds dezelfde strijd
Maar heelt de tijd
Geen wonden

Verschuift met elke stap op haar pad
Het doel dat ze had
Zich verder weg

Toch maakt ze tegen beter weten in
Steeds een nieuw begin
Aan de reis

Pakt ze steeds haar wapens op
IJdel hopend op
De zege

He nodded, hardly looking up
As if they didn’t share same blood
As if she hadn’t been gone for weeks
As if he didn’t care
He hurt her, hardly looking up
Like many times before
Like in condescending looks
Like in stinging words
He knew not, hardly looking up
Nothing of her burning tears
Nothing of her growing thought of
‘Nothing to come home for’

This sign on the road sets me still ‘fore I go
Tells me to glance at the map just once more
Tells me to look in the rearview mirror
Before I go

The glass wall before me refuses to break
Instead it reflects what I left and it shows
The path, when it cracks, I’ll be able to take
But it won’t

The landscape stretches as far as the eye
Can see the view of the future
But the cliff at my feet will just lead me
Nowhere

Als een zoeklicht, opgericht
Naar een hemel vol sterren
Kruist ze lichtstralen, verhalen
En schiet verder in de nacht
Voor één moment, onbekend
Voor de lege eenzaamheid
Dan weer eindeloos, zwart

Een knipperlichtrelatie
Met de glinsterende maan
Stralend middelpunt
Van de nacht die zij zelf
Slechts bliksemsnel verlichten mag

Zij, kortstondig als de dag
En voor de maan niet anders
Dan de sterren
Die hij lichtjaren eerder
Al doven zag

De afstand onoverbrugbaar
Tussen haar en het donkerste licht
Vindt ze zichzelf
In het laatste kwartier
Terug aan de kust

De enige plek waar zijn vingers haar beroeren
Waar zijn passie in de golven
Haar op haar knieën dwingt
Waar de zwarte eenzaamheid
Haar niet langer van hem *******br>Daar waar de maan
Het tij steeds weer keert

She picks up her glass
Puts it back down
Listening to the sound
Of his comfortable breathing

He leans over, a smile
Confident and clean
‘It has been a while,
You should go, you should sleep’

Looks away, just in time
To miss her hesitation
She stands up, looks around
For a subject for conversation

‘I had fun, tonight’
His back doesn’t answer
Nor does it see
The tear falling down

She wipes it away
With her expectations
And follows him down
The path of no return

‘I’ll see you around’
While he reaches the front door
She checks her step
Feels his warmth when she passes

‘Text me when you’re home safe’
His deep but careless voice
A gleam of hope looks back to see
Just how he closes the door

And to the fading drums of
His receding footsteps
She sinks unto the sidewalk
Whispers ‘You are my home safe’

Tonight is the hypothesis
Predicting possibility
Molding what we are
Into mathematical equations
You + I = the great unknown

If I were a word, you’d be pronunciation
You'd make me, break me, just with how you say me
And tell me how to sound
I’d have a different meaning when you mumble in the morning
In your daytime dazzling
Or when you shout at night
My existence right is with the emphasis you put on me
And silently I die out when I’m the sound you swallow,
Still
Still I am,
When I fall out of slang, replaced by another that sounds just like you want
Still I stand, in your old dictionary
That you haven’t used since you strike the right tone
Not alone, I stand, as you stand beside me
Even when you think you left to sing another tune
You spell me, explain me
In little scribbles right behind me that no one understands
Thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t sound the way I do
But it’s time now to leave you, leave you to die
As you won’t live without me, but on paper
I revive

Ik blijf zitten door kanker
Het anker om mijn enkel wenkt me
Terug
Naar het donker
Kon ik het maar laten
Voor wat het was
Dat het was
Maar het is niet
Afgesloten met genezing
Deze schemering sluimert
Blijft zitten
Met mij

Pitch black storylines
Ink painted former forest
Fire wrote a book here

The light shines so bright
She can feel it with closed eyes
Scared of sudden splendour
Unsure if she can handle
So she blinks just once but thinks twice
Keeps her eyes closed and instead
Waits for the brightness to fade
Into something she’s used to
She knows she can handle
Comfortably numb she waits
For her eyes to adjust to
What they only had a glimpse of
What she thinks she can’t face
With the naked eye
If she would just catch sight and see
That there won’t be a different light
That those eyes will only really see
When wide open to soak up
The radiance surrounding her
Blurring the fear of ever really looking
As far as the eye can see

The clouds fall
I rise above them
Emerge from the haze uneasily clear
With heaven still miles and miles above me
But the soothing sedation belittled below
I wish I could
Go back to denial
Head in the clouds, lost in a daze
With a chance of returning back to a purpose,
The possible prospect of being rained down

Where to go
No-one knows
The horizon seems so far
Unreachable
Indefinable
Voices in my head are at war
Truths that whisper
Lies that scream
And a mind misled by doubt
Stuck in a maze
Lost in a daze
Searching for the only way out

When push comes to pull, we
We're electromagnetic
I, the static
You, the current
Drifting through circuits
Conducting
Affected as ever
The force field wielding its powers
Laying out the potentiality
Of energy
However relative
Charged with the burden of proof
The vector pointing at you
Radiating truth
Yet, whether we attract or repel
Is just a matter of reference

Ze kijkt op
Alleen haar ogen verraden
Dat niets is wat het lijkt
Dat van alle woorden die ze spreken
Alleen die ene haar bereikt

En ze huilt
Zonder snikken, zonder tranen
Maar met wanhoop in haar blik
Omdat tussen al die mensen
Eenzaamheid haar verstikt

En ze zwijgt
En met gebalde vuisten
Verbijt ze al de pijn
En vraagt zich af *** het
Zonder haar zou zijn

The way you hold me is the thing
That I miss most about you
The way it makes me feel when
You surround me whole
That long before our eyes meet
Your life is just like mine
Woven to be different
So that ours could intertwine
I miss the way you know me
Better than I do myself
I miss the way you look at me
The way I look at you
I long for every moment
You hear me in the silence
I miss the person that you
Help me to become
Yet missing you is not a
Loss like if you would've left
The things I miss are only
Reasons to rejoice

*because what I miss will not be missed again when we'll have met

Her smooth skin
The night caresses
The wind carelessly
Tosses her hair
To where it went when
She blew caution
To wind that tickles
The soft light of
The moon that
Sparkles her eyes
And the wide
Waters sing
A melody of
Love, life and
Reckless abandon

Away she stepped and looked at the mess
And all this while, time stood still

The words an echo, shattered glass
She walked away, as time stood still

Hours past, in a different world
But where she ran, time stood still

As she stopped and turned around she saw
The sun went down, but time stood still

She gathered every shred of courage
All through the night, as time stood still

As a new day dawned and light crept in
She took one step back as time stood still

She set out on the way back wondering
If life had changed while time stood still

She reached a past in screes and shatters
A broken mirror, as time stood still

Unmendable it seemed to be when
She stepped back in and time stood still

Then morning sun lit up the shards
She sat down, still, and time stepped on

Ik meet mijn leven in gemiste kansen
Weet steeds weer te berekenen
*** anders de ander, *** anders ik anders
Was geweest
Verleden verandert het heden het meeste
Als de reden het verklaren wil
Achteraf is altijd makkelijk leren
*** je vroegere zelf je jeugd heeft verspild
Miste ik meer dan ik had mogen meemaken
Of was er toch al weinig weggelegd?
Met elke dag wordt het wachten minder
Dwingend, minder resultaatgericht
Lichtelijk verlaten kijkt de klok me weg van toen
Het leven me nog aan de voeten lag
Maar de rijkdom van de tijd
Aan mij niet was besteed
Vergeten blijft altijd een keuze van onwetendheid