Watching the waves come in.
Feeling the wind blow over my skin
as the sun sits high in the sky and clouds roll by, just trying to stay connected.

So many dimensions, so much going on. Just trying to remain calm and keep my eyes wide, to keep from being pulled under and drowned by the high tide of the current tensions and emotions.

To be detached and not react, they'll say that you must not care.
It's such a balancing act so I do my best to pick and choose my words with care.
In the end it's all spiritual.
Trapped in this temporary physical skin, still I must be aware because they never fail to forget in letting you know of which body you reside in.
So it's a balance
of speaking up and traveling in and out of worlds,
all while trying to keep my feet planted so that I don't lose my mind.
So I find solace in the wind that blows over my skin, and within these rays of sunshine.

Oh, what chapter shall I call this?
The mergdging of the days move in slow-mo as I glide through on autopilot, stuck in a haze.
Just a few hours of shut eye, then it's back to the every day demands of life.
To process these emotions, I haven't got the time.
It is what it is for now; somebody pray because I sent a few off on the wings of crows, but that was weeks ago and I don't think he heard me.
Not losing faith, just losing strength during this transition, fighting to stay aware of what's going on in all of the haze.
Not sure if I'm sleeping, feels like I'm dreaming because I haven't been feeling wide awake.

You say I'm too cold.
Well I guess I'll be no use to you in winter when it comes.
Saying my responses are short if I respond at all, and its as if I've gone completely numb.
Oh, but I assure you that's not true, I don't even feel right being this way,
but it's all about protecting my heart at the end of the day.
Who but me is with himself twenty-four hours, three hundred and sixty-five?
I gotta take care of self, and keep a healthy state of mind.
And truth is you've become a broken glass in my eyes; so hard putting you back to the way I thought you were, I've cut myself a million times.
Once the trust is gone my whole world was torn like a punctured canvas of a beautiful masterpiece;
I've been doing my best in still trying to find the beauty that I once seen.
We get so use to things
until we're no longer true to things.
We even abandon wedding rings and forget all our vows,
but even when its falling down I'm Still the only one standing 'round,
getting hit by bricks when I thought we built such a strong wall.
The more we let things inside, the truth uncovered the lies in our eyes.
We were no longer who we were
so I keep silent cuz I've got nothing else to say,
and you do your best to let me know I'm still apart of your soul, in your half-*** ways of reaching out to me.
I guess it's the pride in you, so great that I hope one day it doesn't turn to hate
cuz I still got love for you and I know you know it's true.
But I'm protecting my heart now...
So if you dont come with truth and love, then don't ever come back around...

You've been up,
you've been down,
you've been left and you've been right.
So familiar are you with the outside world,
but how much time have you spent inside?
To be aware of the world around you, from within let the waters flow.
For what is it to breathe if you don't feel alive from your head down to your toes?
Staying aware of even the subtle things, of which the eyes tend to miss but the mind always reads; the signs and symbols that speak louder than any word off the tongues of men.
You think you can't train it but you can, and if you don't someone else will always be in control,
separating you further from mother earth, dimming the light of your soul.
So wherever you are right now, close your eyes and breathe,
and imagine you're the wind blowing through the trees, flowing in and out as you remain mindful of how you're connected to everything.

Would you have ever wanted to have said one last word if you heard that I moved on?
Out of this flesh, laid it to rest and passed on through the sun.
Why do we hold so much inside our hearts when we know there's much peace to be made? Still in love with those we haven't talked to because it feels like so much has changed.
And I know I'm not perfect, you can put some of the blame on me because I've been walking around acting like a blind man when I can actually see.
Something's wrong here, we used to be so strong and never let anything come in between,
now we let little **** get in the way of maintaining a bond that took forever to create.
But there's still love. I could never have any hate,
you should know my heart could never carry that, I'd be dead within a few days.
Yet still I know I need to let a lot more go
because some people who've been there for me made me the man I am today, so if their reading this just don't take it personal, I've just been dealing with so much pain.
It's just hard to talk sometimes when your the only one living with your mind and no one can understand your brain.
So I've been keeping my distance, but I've been feeling it from those who've kept their distance too, and then it hit me and I said 'if you died tomorrow I'd never be able to say these things to you.'
So I'm coming back around, I swear it...and just wanted you to to know I never stopped loving you.

You tell me to get out of my feelings
and so I let them out.
Tell me, who are you to tell me how to deal with this heart?
There's no way you could see within its dark, there's no way you could perceive so just read and don't try and pick it apart.
I feel it all, and with this pen as my sword I fight through the night, writing till I defeat these demons, until I reach morning light.
I won't ask for your forgiveness if you think it's best I keep some **** to myself.
I'm going to keep working this pen out to maintain my mental health.
We all have our stories and we've all been through some things,
I'm just trying to leave this earth with a lighter heart so I can gain my wings.
So I leave it on the lines, yes I leave it all to cleanse the mind,
for all this heart holds is ink as black as coal, and this diamond of a mind is what makes these words shine.
So just leave me be as I mix my ink with the sands of time, leaving it all here on earth because we can't take anything with us when we die.

I had a dream about you last night; so glad that you came through.
Dreamed I went swimming inside your ocean blue eyes, backstroking and staring up at the moon.
Then the waters started raging as your eyelids began closing. I was frightened by the rapid movement of your eyes. Tried to swim out but my body became so heavy.
I didn't know what you were going through but I found myself drowning in the darkest blue ocean of subconcious thoughts you thought you were hiding.
Streaks of light like lightening in the night helped give clarity and I caught glimpses of you and I. I was holding you in my arms and you were laying your head on my chest with water in your eyes.
Sinking and thinking to myself, 'what the hell has gone wrong?' In reality it's much different than what I'm seeing, because we are still going strong.
There was another streak of light and thunder followed behind it, and in this scene it was still of you and me but this time I was leaving.
My hands slid out of yours until the tip of our fingers barely touched, and I walked away while looking back and said, "I still love you so much."
Oxygen's getting low as I sink deeper into your head. Still wondering what the hell has gone wrong, I closed my eyes as water filled my lungs then woke up gasping for air in my bed.
I must have fell asleep and fallen too deep, until I woke up to a nightmare inside your head.