Is it possible that if I shout any louder
You will finally hear me?
I can’t hear myself
There’s an overcoming white noise
A polished blade slicing through tension
I’m staggering in your direction
An outstretched hand, waiting
Longing for your comfort
Pleading for some saving
It’s a choking anxiety
Closing in around me
A paralyzing infection moving in
Cornered, beaten, and confused
Begging and pleading, always repeating
Please…
What will it take to finally be seen
I don’t know how much louder I can scream
Losing all confidence in strength
Fighting to stay conscious
Behind this defying smile
And invisible scars

Can we just pretend?
Nothing’s broken.
Just sit back down and tell me it’s all-right,
Forget everything that lead to this.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
Everything is okay
And you’re still breathing,
Still fighting to hold on.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
Like everything’s the same
That there’s no one left to blame.
You’re still right here next to me,
Untouched and unphased
By those long and painful days.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
No one can take away
All the times you looked at me this way.
You’re full and alive,
With a smiled plastered across your face.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
It’s all been just a twisted lie,
That you’ll stay here by my side.
Through the thunderous rage
Burning the night sky,
A promising glint in your eye.
That nothing’s broken.


Can we just pretend?
You never left me behind,
Down on my knees
Always asking how and why.
And forget what it means to actually die.
That nothing’s broken.


Can we just pretend?
My heart isn't aching,
While the world around me is shaking.
That I will see you again
Even when it feels like the end.
That I’m not breaking.

Can we just pretend?
Everything is silent
Even when I’m screaming your name where
Ferocity is blurred with rage,
Rattling the bars of this god-forsaken cage.
That I’m not breaking.

Can we just pretend?
That I’m not broken.

The realization that you had gone
Hit me harder than ever before
Pulling the air from my lungs
As if I had just taken a vicious blow
Every muscle in my body froze
Nothing had the desire to move
For fear that I'd slip even farther
Tumbling down this dark path
I pressed pause, looking for rewind
But life doesn't operate that way
A desperate cry for help escaped
As violent rivets cycling through
This broken and unwilling soul
Searching endlessly for someone, anyone
It was then that I sadly realized
No one was ever truly there

I remember clearly
Whispering as the stars aligned
Those three empowering words
Before the world exploded

I remember clearly
The sincerity in your voice
When you promised the very same
Before the world changed

I remember clearly
As you leaned in to kiss me
How our breaths became one
Before our worlds intertwined

I remember clearly
Every single sensation within
That rendered me numb
As we created our own world

A second chance?
You shouldn’t have messed up
The first time
But I’ll be understanding this time
I’m human, just like you
Don’t let me down
A second time

It may be the simplistic idea of remembering something you wish to forever forget
Or realizing the well known unimaginable as a futuristic reality
Perhaps the sad final solution to your seemingly endless suffering
Could it be the fact that what once was there is everything less than dust?
I am unable to fathom what it truly feels like
Due to registering only my own emotions and mental infatuations
So, let me describe a stilled serene place in time
Where through overwhelming tension and all that disregards any sparks of hope and happiness
​A smile is enough to hold a thousand defined words
Words that tell stories of anything that could and could not be
The deranged evil and the vicarious good
Which smile you wear is that of your choosing

It began as disbelief
Slowly contaminating the air around me
Choking me from the inside
Losing sight of you as I see behind blind eyes
Coming to my senses, trying to stand
But it’s all so futile
Falling back down
Dropping to the cold, hard ground
Piece by piece
Shock numbs everything within
As it attacks from multiple directions
Leaving no room for mercy
Muted screams pour from my soul
While my heart bleeds words I can no longer say
Pushed down to my knees by your cruel hand
Kicking endlessly when I’m already down
Bruises bloom across my being
Attempting to build walls that never come
It’s too late now
You have me cornered
Back against the world I used to know
Broken terror rips through my body in waves
A burning sensation lingers in these lungs
Making it impossible to breathe
If I leave now, maybe he’ll stop… Please…
These voices grow louder by the second
It hurts more than I could have possibly imagined
The severing of these bonds we created
Has never felt so real

My dreams won’t burn in vain
Not this time, my darling
Because I have you
These infectious nightmares will cease
And you will not
From the base of my soul
To the scarred fabric of my heart
I want you
These profound emotions and desires
This surging powerful drive
Slowly leading to my own impending insanity
Old inferior emotions and self-inflicted torture
Rapidly torn down by the new
Overwhelmed with a sudden selflessness
Yet, at the same time, I’m just as selfish
Melodies course through my veins
Electricity pulses in my fingertips
As I greedily touch you in all the right places
Relentless acts of pleasure
Movement and motion will speak tonight
For there will never be enough words
Because you are mine
Where I am yours

Brought down to my knees
Face to face with the dirt
And all that lies beneath
Thinking over again
Piecing it all together
Asking the same question
Wanting to understand
Why we’re here
When it all feels the same
The same pain
Of a different caliber

No, wait
Don't leave yet
It can still be like it was
The last time
Before you broke away
Just a few more moments
One more kiss
Embrace
Unspoken, "I love you"
That's all I need
Baby, please

Maybe it’s the simple idea of being trapped in my own mind
Of being encased in this ****** square box
Where all my voice does it echo
Echo... Echo…
Bouncing off these metallic confining barriers
And there’s not a single thing anyone can do
Unless you’re able to scale walls
While defying any logic that comes in to play
Maybe that’s possible
… Only maybe.