you're the kind of guy
who always thinks that
it was only natural for me
to stand by your side
but I'm the kind of girl
who finally realizes that
she is so much worth
than just another plan
for you to delay

The lipstick I am wearing
misses the way you ruin it
until it paints the depth of love
I feel for you on your lips
and it marks the truth that
I am solely meant for you

I wish I had been kinder to him
I wish he realizes how devastating I am feeling
I wish I was more careful
I wish he left me earlier than he should be
I wish I can actually stop thinking about him
I wish he didn't take me for granted
I wish I am worth his fight and effort
I wish he would stop treating me like trash
I wish I can stop treating myself like trash
I wish he respects the love I gave him
I wish I can laugh wholeheartedly
I wish he can laugh wholeheartedly
I wish I can understand what's on his mind
I wish he gave me more chances and time
I wish I can find a reason to hate him
I wish he's in love with me

I wish wishes do come true

Hey, I'm here
Bleeding in the deepest space of your heart
Can you feel me?
Here, come closer
let me whisper you a secret
You see, time doesn't fly in my galaxy
it's frozen after you left me
guess you've cast a charmed
to keep my open flesh unarmed

two pairs of our ebony eyes
are locking deeply
and in that frozen time
I can feel the L word is ready
to jump out of our mouths
so I shut them up
by kissing him
many times

there is a world I knew
where time stood still
with the happiness
I built with you

"I like another girl,
you have to let me go"

using a simple line last night
you destroyed that world
until there is no more light

Be a Queen
Marry a King
Build your empire
Together

I wonder if there will come a time
when you finally aware of what you make me feel
how I always consider myself as a fool for you
and the way you twist your words hurts my bones

do you even hear my tears dropping down my cheeks?
do you even see the frown I make beneath my smile?
do you even want to know?
do you even care to ask?

but when that moment arrived,
I swear it will be too late
I will be walking away too far
and you won't be able to even grasp my shadow

My loving heaven,

If there is a way for me to explain
who I am now to you, I will say;
I am half of your retrograde,
the slowest rotation on your earth
that is wrong enough to be right
and half of your marquis diamond,
the most expensive shape
that lingers best around you

Your devoted Angel,
A

Boneless tongue might say things we don't mean
cause both you and I cursed each other like nemesis
yet my arms stay circling around your neck
and yours on my hips when we share a long kiss

But the moment you tell me that you love me
and I say it back to you
Every syllable just feels so right in my eardrums
and my sieve heart absorbs those words completely
and the motion of our lips looks strangely sweet
they tempt us to lock them together slowly

At times when he says "Iloveyou"
I'd reply with "welcome home"
cause to love and be loved by him
is to be home

I could
Gather the whole stars
And reassemble them
Yet
It wouldn't be enough
To describe
How impeccable you are
In my eyes

Cause you
Are the kind of man
Who keeps me fall in love
With just breathing
Who has the brightest eyes
That make me couldn't turn away
Who own the ability
To make me cry of laughter
With just one word

And you are the love
Of my deepest heart
That I fall for
So deeply

I switch off the light
Trying to sleep off my tired heart
I listen to the same song
Over and over again
As if I'd play it on my death bed

And you
You're merely an illusion
Cause I have authentic proves.
A moving pictures.
That contains your laughs and
That you were happy
With me

Were

Then what happened?
You lost yourself
Why lost me too?

You said I deserve something
No, I deserve you

And I never, not even once
Ever asked you to love me
The way I love you
Cause I'm aware that it's impossible
For you to do so

My love for you has no limit

Why pushed me away?
Let me in
Ask me to stay

Can you hear me weeping?
Both my eyes are swollen by now

Darling,
Be cautious cause
If you continue
To keep me in the distance
I might as well
Be overly comfortable there

Please,
Grab me by the hand
Cause my feet is on the doorstep
Ready to take off

"Baby, I can't take this no more, I'm leaving"
she stuttered, crying
"But, Darling, I love you, I swear I'll change"
he replied, begging

she knows him well
and he does aswell
he's lying
as she's staying
swallowing his lies

Hello Mr. Moon
Ah, you're out of my reach
Yet I'm glad to know
That you're burning up
Above me, watching me
Tho the clouds sometimes
Overshine your light
But will you kiss me
A secret about
How to stop
Counting teardrops
When you're high?

I thank God
For leading your footsteps
Crossing mine
For every road He chose
Guiding you to me
For making such beautiful
Combination of a human
For the family
That raised you
For your wishes
That came true
For your pains
That lessened you
And
For letting you reach
Your 26th years
Happy birthday, Fj
For everyday
And every pray
For you, always

To see their lips in unison
is to scream my lungs out
with silence as the witness
because whenever I close
both my eyelids
it becomes the only scene
my heart plays on repeat

2 years
Yet the thorn kept me bleeding
The storm screaming still
The hollow remains

I speak,
I laugh,

But I'm empty

Can't you see?
I am not me
I'm just an illusion
Of who you want me to be
A lovely girlfriend
A bestfriend
A girl who's drunk
In her roles

And talking to a tomb
Is keeping me sober
Cause who's in the ground
Is an angel
Called
*My mother

There are no word I can spell
To show you how deep I have fell
Only my bursting eyes can tell
I love you with my every cell
But time passes and so does your heart
Only it never changes mine
I really wish it did
Right the moment when
You stopped being sweet
Well, I should have known better
My mistake, I was hallucinating
To even trust your twist and turn words
Cause you were too perfect to be true
Guess I am not the perfect one for you
But hear this;
Do call me, find me
When you're not busy thinking about
Your pride or your ego
For I am always near
Make amends and I will forgive you
Make amends and I will take you back

the void in my heart
glows as if fireflies are dancing
along with how you sing me
all the things I want to hear

You told me
"I miss your lips,
Touching mine"
Then you confirmed
When I randomly said
That I've got into your heart
You told me
If I stay, you stay
Now, by all means
Explain to me
Which part
Of your words
That you can deny
Even your hands
Cannot be kept
Too far from mine

Every single night
I sleep wearing the black t-shirt
or the other shirts that you left
and wrapping my neck
with your favorite scarf

somehow the convinced me
that you will come around
and your heart is very near to mine

Your chat room

it's amazing to know that
he is in the same space as i am

because whenever he's near
all of my doubts disappear
and the air around me glows
as if all the stars gather their lights
pointing at him creating rainbow

and when he pulls me closer
I can feel his love spoiled out from his fingers
he is the only man who makes me tremble
trembling out of happiness and laughter

you would have been holding me
to sleep tonight in your orange room
if what Jeremy Passion said in his song
were truly meant for me

Wouldn't it be nice
to feel your hot breathing
on my cold neck right now
and to smile is as easy
as turning my body to yours?

cause it's 2.44am
where I woke up
finding myself alone
—trembling with the need
to run so fast to where you are

when I know
you're sleeping with someone else

I live, I breathe
I laugh everyday
but I cry each night
with the hope to return
to the almighty God
and I wake up each morning
with the realization that
I have no capability to see
my beloved mum, dad
and my kind brother
and I walk around
seeing the sun and the moon
switch places as always
with the fear at some point
the people whom I love
so very much stop inhaling
the air forever, again

there's a room I left empty
but full of your memory
in that room I see a door
it's unlock but what for?
I'm imprisoned for life
a prisoner of your love

I'm on my knees begging to God not to cross my footsteps to yours ever again
And I'm asking for His forgiveness and thanking Him because He showed me my own karma—you
Lesson learned and very well noted
You are the best and the worst person I have ever met
And though I meant absolutely nothing to you but you meant the world for me
Iloveyou
I still do
But you destroyed me—big time
All the kisses and the laughs
Our memories and songs
I'm ashamed
Turned out I was just another shirt you're changing
Still
I love you with such respect and honesty
I love you with a big amount of trust and support
And everything that you did
Every single drop of kindness that you did
Was a big fat lie
Therefore the only thing left you can do is to disappear into thin air
You are not allowed to call me
Erase my number and my pictures on your phone
I forbid you to even say that you've ever known me
Don't you dare say hi if we ever meet on a street
I am neither your fans nor your ex not even close to a friend for you
I am nobody—like I have always been
Your existence is invalid for me
Vice versa
You are a very great karma on which I promise myself not to make the same terrible mistake like I did before you
You are the only good in goodbye
I hope not to see you again

Once or twice of a mistake is humane
The third mistake is probably dumb
but the fourth mistake? Oh baby
trust me, that's your choice
Therefore, you have used
every straw I gave you
Now, leave

love is a myth, love is an illusion
love in the air creates pollution
I want to stop loving—I have to
cause everything I've ever loved left
just like you

with him, I can see the end when we begin
with him, I have no attachment, just comfort
with him, I am able to go on my own and grow
with him, I learn how to love me more
with him, I know it's okay to be honest
with him, I feel possible to take chances
with him, maybe, just maybe
I can find the road to love again

it's true that my lungs tightened up
filled with butterflies and flowers
when you put a perfect curve on your lips
and you know, you know I'm in love
but what you don't know is;
I've been in love just like this before
and before, he crushed me
cause he knocked and I let him in
now
now it won't happen again
I will never let you in

Here we are
on the same date
the same celebration
the same wish for you
in front of the candle
the same promise I made
to have this day spent
and for the rest of
the same date
that there are

only each time
we will spend it
with deeper love
than it's ever before

I don't want to speak
Nor to be alone
Therefore, I will sit
Amidst the crowd
Enjoying their laugh
Mixed with the blaring sound
From my playlist
Smelling the scent of coffee
And my earl grey tea

That way
Only that way, I'd be able
To hold the tears
From my aching heart
*That you caused

Unlike Bonnie and Clyde,
Our devils could dance together in sight
Unlike Jack and Sally,
We'll create nightmare on Christmas party
Unlike Orpheus and Eurydice,
Our yearning soul will never dies
Unlike Napoleon and Josephine,
We'll embrace each flaw on our skins

They might have loved so keen
But they all have their parting scene
Now, Darling, trust me this;
Our love is greater than they've ever been

Maybe we both are cursed
By the mistaken time
Who cast a spell
And made us fell

In between the high grass
And the tall trees,
The love we share
Is a myth of unfair

Recall the sunrise
You brought for a gift
It's filling my eyes
With sunset adrift

I want you and
You want me
But that reason is never
Good enough to make us be

Stop tearing up my heart
you live inside there, remember?

I'll tell you what's funny
it is when you look at me
and have no idea whatsoever
that you put my heart on a race
where it keeps pulsing restlessly
but never reach the first place

truth to be told, my heart been wondering
are you happier now that I'm no longer there?
for me, everything in me feels strange
how's the girl you're clinging to now?
I bet her heart is kind, unlike mine
should you know I remember you
in too many ways I can count
like when I eat that spicy food you love
or whenever I pass on a very tall guy
I wonder how you remember me now
how you remember me at all
but mostly I wonder
if you ever think of coming home to me

he said, "let's keep this between us"
while pulling my hair, kissing my tired lips
both my eyesight and judgment are clouded
by his handsome look, facing one breathe away
but the night is changing, so does his mind
when the morning knocks, I was alone
laying on my bed, missing his gentle hug
with our secret Sunday

'Note this, my favorite gal is you'

And I know if I fall for your line
I will only create another big mistake
but who cares?
if it is a mistake then you'll be my mistake
so basically, you're mine in that state

her sanity lingers
cause she pours her insanity
by tainting her fingers
with ink and poetry

One hit followed by the other
Stop crying, you sang
A *****, that's my nickname
Love is your shield
Then
Forgive me, you plead
But
No more,
No more decorating
Our exclusive hell
No more bridges
You've burned them
When you choked me
And when you...
You
Hurt me,
Paint my face
With black and purple,
You
Throw me,
Into an endless pain

Now I can dance
Atop your fake apologies
And laugh at
Your abyss of misery
Cause I know
You are NOTHING
Without me

Because I am madly in love
with the angel I found
within his **demon

but the closer we are
the more I want you
the more I want to own you

bit by bit my determination
to run away, to let you go
disappears to thin air

both my eyes freezes
like they are stuck on you
hypnotized by your gentle smile

and my consciousness knows
that if we ever move our feet
forward to each other

you will only make me cry
a deeper painful tears
than any I have ever cried before

there are a few specifications I need
to make all the things in my life working
like a pair of hands to do stuffs
a pair of feet to move to places
a pair of eyes to see both sides
a pair of ears to listen to advice
one mouth to speak my mind
one nose to savor the air
and one heart to keep me alive
I need those
specifically yours

Can you sense
The longing I endure
Underneath the trees
Or starlights
You're passing by?
Do you understand
How vulnerable
I become
Not breathing you?
Will you be convinced
By the amount
Of love I pass on
To God
In every pray
About you?

close your eyes, breathe slowly
imagine me whenever you're lonely
I'm always here in your daylight
cuddling your soul every midnight

close your eyes, wipe your tears
don't you hear me crying too, dear?
please move on, so I can move on too
though forever my heart belongs to you

the only thing I keep losing
because I'm in love with you

his face is sulking
through the foliage
under that big tree
where I lit my cigarette
—avoiding eye contact
as I turned down
the confession
of the love he made
especially for me
simply because
it's too heavy
for me to carry