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460 · Aug 2016
Breakdown
Phia Aug 2016
And suddenly
I was on the verge of
Breaking down for
No reason
At all.
459 · Sep 2016
The Storm
Phia Sep 2016
Oh honey,
you're not strong enough
to handle me.
459 · Aug 2016
You told me
Phia Aug 2016
You told me that you loved the rain
I should've known it was a lie
When you realized I am a hurricane
You quickly said goodbye
Phia Sep 2016
Life is a locked door,
but somebody stole my key
labeled "happiness".
They say happiness is the key to life, but I can't find my key.
457 · Oct 2016
Dancing with her
Phia Oct 2016
As I saw you there,
Dancing with her,
I felt as if what was left of my heart
Was ripped out
And smashed into a thousand pieces.
456 · Aug 2016
Eggshells
Phia Aug 2016
Will my feet ever touch solid ground?
Or will I be walking on eggshells
For the rest of my life.
455 · Jul 2016
Outer space
Phia Jul 2016
The wind in her hair
And the sun on her face
She closes her eyes
And dreams of outer space
452 · Aug 2016
Thoughts on Racism
Phia Aug 2016
So where are you from?
The teacher asked me,
No greeting,
Nothing.
Just those five words.
As I stared blankly, shocked.
Are you Korean or Japanese?
Do you speak chinese?
You must be really good at math.
It's majority rules not minority rules.
Go back to where you came from.

I am from china.
I do not speak the language.
I ******* **** at math,
I was adopted.
And Im right where I'm supposed
To be.
I face these things everyday. Racism hurts. This "poem" doesn't begin to describe it. Be careful of the words you use.
449 · Sep 2016
Dance in the rain
Phia Sep 2016
I needed a little rain
So that I could dance,
But now I'm drowning in it.
442 · Aug 2016
Song bird
Phia Aug 2016
That sad moment
When a song bird
Loses her voice.
I love to sing. But lately I've had no desire to.
440 · Jul 2024
The way I feel
Phia Jul 2024
I hate that I’m not stronger
I hate that I’m so scared
I hate the control that you still have
I hate that I still care
I hate that I can’t cut you off
That my lips can’t say goodbye
I hate that you still make me laugh
I hate that you still make me cry.
I hate that the only time I write
Is when I’m writing about you
That after everything that’s happened
Your love is still my muse.  
I hate the fact that I still love you
Even if it’s not the same
I hate that we’re in this ******* mess
And I’m the one to blame.
But mostly I wish I hated you
As much as I hate me
Cause maybe then I would be happier
Maybe then I’d finally feel free.
440 · Aug 2016
House of cards
Phia Aug 2016
And it's been proven once again
That this house of cards
Was not meant to stand
I ******* destroyed everything
437 · Jun 2016
Life is short
Phia Jun 2016
Life is too short
To hold your breath.
437 · Jul 2016
If i had a dollar
Phia Jul 2016
If I had a dollar
For all the times I
Cried myself to sleep
This month.
I'd buy a movie ticket
To the movie we were
Supposed to see together.
433 · Aug 2016
The gifts you gave
Phia Aug 2016
You gave him entire galaxies
But in his mind
All he saw was a single planet.
431 · Sep 2016
Lonely places
Phia Sep 2016
As I walk these crowded halls
getting lost in the sea of people around me,
You are gone
and I have never felt so lonely.
Jack is gone, I have never felt more alone. I feel like a part of me is missing.
424 · Sep 2016
Break my heart
Phia Sep 2016
Who would've thought
That the person to break my heart into
Thousands of pieces would be
Me.
420 · Aug 2016
Gasoline
Phia Aug 2016
He was like fire
And she was like gasoline.
He consumed her only to make himself
Stronger.
409 · Aug 2016
Ask
Phia Aug 2016
Ask
Ask for a planet I'll give you a galaxy.
Ask for a word I'll write you a poem.
I will do anything to see you happy.
409 · Sep 2016
Not alone
Phia Sep 2016
And it was then,
talking to you,
tears streaming down my face,
that I realized maybe I'm not completely
alone.
407 · May 9
I hate my words
Phia May 9
Desperation leaks from my words
As I beg the universe for life
Happiness
And you
404 · Jun 2016
Life Raft
Phia Jun 2016
In this storm I have become a raft.
I just go with the flow,
here to save you from drowning
when it becomes too hard to swim.
400 · Aug 2016
Beaux Rêves
Phia Aug 2016
Je vous souhaite de beaux rêves et les moyens pour les atteindre
I wish you beautiful dreams and the means to achieve them.
399 · Aug 2016
What will happen?
Phia Aug 2016
So tell me,
Where are we going this time?
Are we both going to fall?
Be madly in love?
Or are you going to be
Just another person
Passing by
With no intention to stay?
398 · Feb 15
My BPD lunchbox
Phia Feb 15
I have this part of me,
A glaringly large part of me,
That I must hide from the world.
Symptoms, thoughts, feelings, and emotions
that I have to cram into a little lunchbox.
By the end of the day this little box weighs
a hundred pounds,
And I alone unpack it's contents
every night.

It's exhausting.
And I'm tired.
When I was 17 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My symptoms were so bad and pervasive that they diagnosed me before the age of 18. I have spent the majority of my 25 years in therapy. The sadness, loneliness, and wishes to end my life often overwhelm me. I feel like I can't keep friends. I feel completely alone while I battle this disorder. No one knows about it except for a select few. I feel like I'm lying to everyone. But BPD is so stigmatized that I think most people won't try to understand before they judge me and turn their image of me into my diagnosis. It's exhausting, and I'm tired and I just want to feel normal.
396 · May 2016
Lies
Phia May 2016
Perfect lips
speak perfect lies
that paint
perfect pictures
of
perfect lives.
395 · Oct 2016
Lovely.
Phia Oct 2016
You shine brighter than all the stars that I've seen
Believe me when I say that you're lovely.
394 · Oct 2024
I love you
Phia Oct 2024
When I say "I love you"
what I meant was,
I have never felt so at home
anywhere
or with anyone.
My mind,
my soul,
my heart,
has never felt such peace.
sorry i'm word dumping. Also I hate titles.
393 · Oct 2024
My garden and you
Phia Oct 2024
As I look around
my poorly grown flowers,
Sparse,
and half dying,
you're the only one who has ever
sat in my garden
and told me how beautiful it was.
392 · Jul 2016
Shattered
Phia Jul 2016
My heart has been shattered into a million pieces
And I'm still looking for the piece
That has your name written on it
391 · Sep 2016
In my 17 years
Phia Sep 2016
In 17 years of mistakes
And regrets,
Wrong turns and
Bad decisions,
You are the first thing
To feel right.
390 · Aug 2016
Rain
Phia Aug 2016
Rain is proof that
Sometimes even the strongest things
Need to let things go.
382 · Sep 2016
Understand
Phia Sep 2016
If they don't ******* understand,
Make them ******* understand
So sick of being misunderstood
379 · Sep 2016
Break me
Phia Sep 2016
With each passing day,
You slip a little further away from me.
So as I sit here in the nights alone,
I do everything I can
To keep you in my mind
Because losing you would not only
Break my heart,
It would break me.
377 · Oct 2016
Falling for you.
Phia Oct 2016
Somebody help me 'cause I cannot breathe
falling for you knocked the wind out of me.
376 · Jul 2024
8-words
Phia Jul 2024
I could’ve spent the rest of my life with you
376 · Sep 2016
Some nights
Phia Sep 2016
Some nights I'll need you
To hold me a little tighter.
For those are the nights that
My world shakes, and I might
Break apart.

Some nights you'll need me
To hold you a little tighter,
And I may not be very strong,
But on those nights,
I will hold you like you are the only thing
I have to hold on to.
376 · May 2016
Memory Hiccup
Phia May 2016
The other day
my mind had a hiccup
Memories of you
flashed before my eyes
And then vanished.
Barely there
But noticeable enough
To make my heart ache.
It's bad, right now I'm just trying to write
375 · Oct 2024
To love him
Phia Oct 2024
Loving you is like being awake
But falling into the sweetest dream.
375 · Sep 2016
Untitled 13
Phia Sep 2016
There are days when it will be hard,
Getting out of bed will seem impossible,
Breathing will seem like a battle,
You'll want to just curl up and die.
On those days, you must remember
How far you've come.
How much further you have to go,
And all of the people that will love you
In between
373 · Oct 2016
Right Write
Phia Oct 2016
If only I could find the right words
To write the right poem.
372 · Jul 2016
Deep blue sea
Phia Jul 2016
Deep blue sea
What have you done to me?
372 · Feb 12
Rainy days
Phia Feb 12
I love rainy days.
I feel like it’s the earths way
Of reminding us
That it’s okay to slow down
371 · Sep 2016
Love yourself
Phia Sep 2016
Love yourself
And everything else will
Fall into place.
369 · Jul 2016
How you take breath away
Phia Jul 2016
How do I start
What do I say
To explain how you
Take my breath away?
Do I start with your smile?
The way it lights up your eyes
And how that alone turns stormy weather
Into clear blue skies.
I really love it when we talk
And you say always
I don't know why but hearing it
Always makes my day
Do I tell you how I love it,
The way you always seem to care
And how it feels like no matter what
You will be there
I love the way you see through me
And you don't let me be alone
But it's hard because I don't know what to do
Since loneliness is all I've ever known
I love how you don't believe me
When I say that I'm okay
And no matter how hard I push
You don't seem to stay away
You make me feel like I matter
And when I'm with you I can be me
You put up with my stubbornness
And all my insecurities
You remind me what butterflies feel like
And what it's like to believe
That maybe, just maybe
Fairytale can exist for a girl like me.
I wrote this for my friend. Soon I'm hoping we will be more than friends
368 · Aug 2016
10 things i love about you
Phia Aug 2016
There are so many things
That I love about you
It will take too long to name them all
So I'll name just a few.
The first thing I love about you
Is the way you smile
It makes me feel at peace and such
I haven't felt that for a while.
The second thing that I love
Is the way you're always there
I can text you about the dumbest things
Like how I cut my hair.
The third thing that I love about you
Is that you make me feel strong
When I talk to you the endless nights
Never seem as long.
The fourth thing that I love about you
Is the way you say oh my
I don't know why but seeing that
Makes me want to fly.
The fifth thing that I love about you
Is the way you hold me in your arms
When you wrap them tight around me
I feel protected from all harm
The sixth thing that I love about you
Are the faces that you make
I'll do anything to see them again
I don't care what it takes.
The seventh thing I love about you
Is that you're gentle but you're strong
My life is a raging storm
But with you it seems calm.
The eighth thing I love about you
Is that you're really funny
You may not know it but you always
Make my days nice and sunny.
The ninth thing o love about you
Is that you never go away
But don't feel like you're stuck here
You're free to leave or stay.
The tenth thing that I love about you
Is I don't feel so alone
You gave me hope when I lost it all
That my heart can find a home.
That's ten things that I love about you,
But there are many more,
You don't have to do this alone
Of this I am sure.
For you
366 · Jul 2024
PRH
Phia Jul 2024
PRH
The same lonely walls
Sterile rooms
And dead eyes
366 · Aug 2016
Thoughts
Phia Aug 2016
Why do we expect love to make us whole
When more often than not
It leaves us more broken than before
363 · Jul 2016
Whatever it takes
Phia Jul 2016
You were one of the best things,
And I ****** it up.
So I'll numb my mind,
With whatever it takes.
Even if it kills me.
361 · May 2016
A fight
Phia May 2016
No this isn't what I pictured
When I talked to you last night
But it seems that I've lost everything
Because one single stupid fight.
Too many things were left unspoken
To many questions Floating in the air
Now there's so much damage
I don't think it can be repaired
Since then the clouds have rolled over
And with them comes the rain
And I'm hopeful that when it cleanses the earth
It will also cleanse me of my pain
And the rain may cleanse me of the blood
But the stab marks are still there
You took a knife to my chest
And you didn't even care
But I guess it's not only your fault
It is mine too
I knew in my head how this would end
I just hoped it wasn't true
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