As the sound of the fireworks
Signaled celebration for the rest
As the night sky lit up with lights
It was the beginning of a test

Fireworks echoed the end
It was similar to the sound
Of breaking and collapsing
Of everything crashing down

The more the twists and turns
The more worth and excitement
The more the trials challenges
The more resistance to torment

As fireworks exploded in the sky
As fire rained downed onto earth
As the end echoed from the flames
A beacon of hope was given birth

A beacon enveloped in flames
Which tried to exterminate
An embodiment of strength
Which can never depreciate

Wrapped in burning flames
Which tried so ever
To turn it to nothing
But it didn't surrender

A Phoenix born from the ashes
A beacon that would not surrender
A Phoenix that lit up in darkness
A Phoenix that only gets stronger

A Phoenix that's brighter
Than anything ever seen
Born from fire that burned it
And stronger than what it's been

When there is nothing more but ash
And when it seems hopeless
Be your own Phoenix
And illuminate in darkness

So that everyone in doubt
And all of the hindrances
Will be in awe and no longer deny
Your immeasurable unwavering resilience

A Phoenix that wouldn't allow
The same flame, to burn it down
A Phoenix that turns fire
Into its glorious gown

A Phoenix that turns the end
Into a magnificent enviable crown
A Phoenix, even in a sea of fire
Wouldn't dare burn or drown

From the fire and ashes, it has risen
Unwavering strength and unyielding flame
Spreading its wings to soar once again
I am still me but no longer the same

Xenophile not xenophobic
The strange attraction to
Foreign people or culture
Something or someone new

Unordinary experiences
Different emotions
New everything and
Unusual expressions

I've been introduced to
A different way of living
I'm now attracted to
This kind of loving

So much has changed
Ever since you came
Thanks to you
I'm no longer the same

My fetish isn't generally
For everything foreign or new
My strange attraction is for
Everything about you

You've made experience
Things that I never knew
Everything about you
Is refreshing and new

Your stare, your words
Your laughter, your smile
Your touch, your everything
Turned me into a xenophile

The sound of alarm starting the day
The feeling of the morning breeze
The smell of freshly made coffee
The taste of toasted bread and cheese

The pitter-patter of raindrops
The cozy and slow afternoons
The noontime TV programs
The dancing to our own tune

The painting of the clouds
Dyeing them red then blue
With us together under moonlight
Whispering goodnight and I love you

I remember yesterday's daybreak
You and I, under the same sun
Now, I awake to today's daylight
Facing the day, knowing you're gone

I tried to break away
To break free
I really did.
I flew, only if you could've seen me.

We were definitely something
We are this unlabeled and undefined mess
We had a relationship worth dreaming
There was no 'us' but we had realness

What we had was called almost
We shared what people desire
We tried to last with our outmost
But distance extinguished the fire

We had what some envied
We were perfectly unlabeled and unknown
We were bulletproof but we still bleed
I wasn't yours and I couldn't call you my own

What do I call you, how do I explain us?
You're my ex something, my ex almost, my ex unstable
My ex unnamed, my ex unknown, my ex anonymous
To put it simply, since we are undefined, you are my "x variable"

You were broken
I was shattered
We were bits and pieces
That didn't fit together

But we tried
To staple, glue and control
The remains of what has been
Of what was previously whole

A lot of pieces are missing
Some where stolen or given away
Some are nothing more than ash
Some forgotten and some are here to stay

We tried to stitch up each other
But we ran out of thread
What started out as a way to recover
Now brings about dread

Fearing to hurt or be hurt
We arrived with the decision
That we should grow wings
Instead of rebuilding our prison

Instead of forcing to be whole
And forcing to fill in the gaps
Instead of risking to fall into the abyss
We should create our own map

If we can't fix what broke
If we can't restore what was lost
If we ran out of thread, staples and glue
Then lets go beyond the uncrossed

If we can't make the ash whole
Then lets build something new
If we can't go back to what has been
Then lets start with today, me and you

Instead of glue, staples and thread
Instead of living in fear and ache
Instead of breathing doubts and dread
Let us be abstract, let's be a mosaic

She was exhausted but continued.
As she battled her demons
She suffered like an aurora
Brightening the coldest of regions

Unwarm and surrounded by ice
Her overpowering resilience resonates
And while immersed in shadows
Her unyielding strength illuminates

She was scarred and bruised
Overwhelmed by her darkness
She was a cold and painful sight
But beautiful nonetheless

Every time, my eyes becomes aware
Of your existence, whenever you're there
I get flashbacks, I faintly remember
Our precious love, our faded ember

I recall the bittersweet laughter
I reminisce the times we're together
But let me correct those false thoughts
There is no dramatic rekindling onslaught

It's not that I still love you
It's that you remind me of what's true
It's not because I'm dwelling in the past
It's because I feel like my own outcast

The sight of you reminds me of back then
You trigger memories of me when
I could still love wholeheartedly
I remember the past loving me

Every time I see you, I recall who I was
I get flashbacks of this person of the past
The me back then who knew of love
The me before who could still love

The me who could love without worries
Without doubts and cannot be seized
The me who's unafraid of being hurt
The me who has nothing to avert

The me who loved you wholeheartedly
The me who I remember whenever it's you I see
I no longer love you but I love the me who previously could
I love the me that gets reminded by  who turned me to couldn't

Our time in a daze, heated in ice
Unheated but warm as our hands intertwined
Uncovering paradox from those eyes
Hypnotized by what's momentarily mine

Paused in our own time, frozen in heat
In the cold and wrapped in your embrace
Presence of victory but a hint of defeat
I saw shadows faintly dance on your face

All the stars and moon soon out of sight
The singing of clouds, the crying sun
Painted and decorated by morning light
Not losing what was already gone

And while the foggy morning sky
Enveloped and dyed the entire room blue
Along with our false belief and pretentious lie
We had a solid and unpaintable scarlet hue

How odd is it?
That I feel like the universe's center
Whenever we're together

Isn't it unusual?
How I feel completely grand
Whenever you clasp my hand

I find it too peculiar
How you manage to make me feel spectacular
And it's too extraordinary
Just how much you make me happy

But strange doesn't even begin to cover
How much I feel like I don't matter
Whenever we aren't together

I am addicted to your warmness
Mesmerized by your tenderness
I am simply attracted to your being
But my heart is hindered by something

You show me two different faces
That tears my decision to pieces
What should I really feel?
Which side of you is real?
The one you show when it's just us two
Or when people surround you
The one who pacifies my nightmares and demons
Or my every doubt and every fear's manifestation

Am I just a distraction?
A source of attention?
Do I matter?
Or do you only think of me when we're together?
Do you only remember me when you crave for comfort?
When you're lonely, in need of love and support?
Does it even matter who gives you warmth?

Answer me truthfully...
Do you really love me?
Honestly...
What do you think of me?

I do not love you
Nor am I in love with you
I honestly have no feelings for you
Yet...

But what will happen?
Once I've completely fallen?
How will you act? Which face would you show?
Who the person is and which is the mask, let me know
Tell me the truth about the face behind
It doesn't matter how nice or unkind
I need to know which is real
I need to sort out how I feel
I want you all for myself
But I don't think you even know your true self
So for now please stay away from me
Because I'm on the verge of falling completely

Our accidental encounter
That inserted your life in my existence as if its the most natural thing in the wold

I should have stayed unknown
And
You should have remained anonymous

Sitting on the bathroom floor
Getting drizzled by a substitute for rain
I'm scrubbing my unclean wounds
In the hope of washing away the pain

Finally leaving the lavatory
I felt the electronically generated frosted air
I turned on the lights
No one was there

I moved to the bed
Where the pillows lie
As I tuck myself to sleep
I started to wonder why

Caressing my face
With a damp cloth
No tears fell
But who would have thought

As I learned the meaning of
The word treachery
In the dark
You abandoned me

I can't believe that it's you whom I used to write for
And if ever you knew
Of the countless words and that I'm still writing more
What would you do?

If given a choice, I would decide
To go along for the ride
As long as you're with me
I'm willing to bet on the uncertainty
Of that so called infinity
And sought after eternity
Transport to a world of color
With the touch of our lasting ardor
I offer you this life and forever
Whichever would last longer

A flare too risky to hold
A flame too hot for the coldest of the cold
A blaze unable to be glanced upon
A ludicrous conflagration
A spark too absurd to illuminate
A burn too dangerous to reciprocate
An ignited too deadly too recall
An incineration that ends all
An inflamed too painful to understand
An inferno too impossible to withstand
A meaningless and lifeless torch
A hopelessly cold and unfeeling scorch
Those are all the fires I knew
Then I encountered a fire that's true
I got too used to heat that I forgot
The difference between warmth and hot
You introduced a fiery fervor
I learned of a feverish ardor
Now that I have fallen in love so selfishly
To use your fire fueled by ardency
To warm up my heart that's burned and icy
Will you allow me?

You trustworthy fox
You sly paradox
Cunning enough to commit thievery
Stealing something that I couldn't even see

I willingly gave it without consent
Through an act that I thought was pretend
You've gotten what was hidden so secure
You've stolen what I consider a great treasure

You've attained what has never been procured
You've taken it, now you're my cynosure
You crafty and honest vulpine
You've easily swiped what was mine

You've gained something which I was unaware of
You've captured my heart and obtained my love

The man who can never be mine


And


The girl left behind

The windows of her soul can
Vanish all the galaxies known to man
Her enticing windows are
The envy of all the stars
The birthplace of dreams
The comforter of screams
Hers are windows that captures
All of the moon's glow and raptures
Containing both shadows and daylight
Illuminating the darkest of midnight
More alluring than a sky unexplored
But at that night, the sky it poured

You wholeheartedly say
Come what may
Vowing to stay
You left anyway

One word, a single syllable
Five letters, short but powerful
Simple definitions
With hidden connotations
Carrying multiple meanings
A word, secretly beautiful and beguiling
It may pertain to static photographs
Allotted for promotional stuff
It can refer to a purification machine or distillery
It may indicate silence, calmness and serenity
It’s commonly described as to devoid from motion
Abstaining from movement or action
But the definition I most love
Is “IN SPITE OF”
“Existing before and continuing into the present”
Stillness oozes with something desirable and pleasant
There is no complete explanation
It should be used to describe devotion
It is a concrete representation
Of one’s love and passion

In spite of everything that has been and will
*I still…