I’ve made a playlist for my funeral, guess I’m bound to die.
Don’t know when, but I know one day my home will be the sky.
I hide my hurt behind a smile, a well-rehearsed disguise,
But deep inside, I’m bracing for the last goodbye.

A Garden of Peace
How to Disappear Completely
Leave Out All The Rest

The black rose, your favorite
The rose symbolizes love, the black, the withered and non-existent,
We watched it fade and called it fate,
the bloom went dark beneath love’s weight,
a black rose turned red on my part much too late

Don’t move on rage, don’t vow on highs,
Feelings fade, and truth never lies.
We rushed through moments, thought they’d last,
But now all we’re left with is a broken past.

Unclimatized from years in an emotional cell,
Now aching for freedom, where peace dares to dwell.
Each breath is a question, each step feels unsure,
As I relearn a world that once felt like a blur

Love wrote the highs, loss read the byes.
Now silence pens the chapters where your voice once replied

No reaction to action
Left baffled by the way you were acting
From lovers to strangers, now barely reacting
Love you forever to cold replies — no reenactment
Yelling instead of talking, now silence is our last interaction

I misheard your emotions, I misheard your needs,
I misheard my own heart, now regret counts the beats.
I misheard your plans and acted like I didn’t care,
Now that I’m without you, your absence is all I hear

When you’ve done enough
The sorrow will fade in the lack of clear thoughts and the beats of a broken heart will eventually stop

******* on a gun

Left side:

I hate myself,
I hate the life I live
Who I’ve become
And how little recognition that I get
How much the world took and how much to the world I give
Now all that is left is the urge to **** on a gun
So that’s what my old self did

Right side:

You don’t always heal.
Sometimes,
you execute the version of yourself
that kept you breathing
but not living.

You press the barrel to your mouth —
not to die,
but to speak
a final truth
through clenched teeth.

To say:
You failed me.
To say:
You kept me small.
To say:
You let the world hollow me out
and still begged for more.

And then —
you pull the trigger.
You feel the echo,
not in blood,
but in silence.

The silence of
not hating yourself anymore.
Of not needing to be
the same person
just because they survived.

You don’t die.
You don’t run.
You just leave behind
a version of you
that had nothing left.

And that, too,
is a kind of living

A combination of two individuals coming together to form something bigger and better for ourselves
We quickly realized a new direction would get us through every storm and take us to heavens instead of living hells
I invested in you and you invested in me
We became richer as the stock grew—before we inevitable had to sell

You stood beneath the station light,
the kind that softens into blue.
Your hair was damp from rising rain,
your hands unsure of what to do.

I watched you move but not let go,
a breath away, yet far from home.
There’s something cruel in parting slow—
we lost the words, we left alone.

The train exhaled, the silence stayed,
You turned your face, but you never waved