A rip off
To people like me
Who just lost
Someone
But it is the best guarantee
For those who are suffering
From lack of freedom
Or if the are suffering greatly physically
Call it want you want
But death is a great promise
Though a pain in ****

As I sit
And write this poem
The full moon
Of yesterday Is cutting
Through the darkness
Like a a disc
This is
My comfort

I really can't stay
Baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go on
Baby, it's cold outside
This  was shure hell
Hoping that you'd drop a message
So, very nice
I'll hold your heart, it's just like ice

My mother will start to worry
Beautiful, what's your hurry?
My father will be pacing the floor
Listen to that heart beat
So, really I'd better worry
Beautiful, please don't hurry
But maybe just a hald a drink more
I'll put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think
Buts, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink?
No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how
Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell

I'll take your hat, your hair looks like hell

I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cold outside

Ugh, you're very pushy, you know?
I'd like to think of it as opportunistic

I simply must go
Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is, "No"
But, baby, it's cold outside
The welcome has been
How lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm
Look out the window at that storm

My sister will be suspicious
Gosh, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door
Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
Gosh, your lips are delicious
But maybe just cigarette more
Never such a blizzard before

I've got to get home
Baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb?
It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand
I thrill when I touch your hand
But don't you see?
How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Think of my life-long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied
If you got pneumonia and died
I really can't stay
Get over that hold out
Baby, it's cold
Baby, it's cold outside

Okay, fine, just another drink
That took a lot of convincing

I was five and she was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
She wore black and I wore white
She would always win the fight

Bang bang, she shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my friend shot me down

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up I tried to forgive
She would always laugh and say
Remember when we used to play

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down

Music played and people sang
Just for me the church bells rang

Now she’s betrayed me I don't know why
Until this day, sometimes I cry
She didn't even say why
She didn't take the time to lie

Bang bang, she shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my friend shot me crushed my dreams

As I was walking out if my place if employment
I saw what looked
Like a coyote
Shape shift
To a wolf
and then from wolf to
Human to crow
In the dead of night
As I see this
My breathe is taken away
As if the wind was knocked out if
Me

I want to believe
For real

The Big Dipper
A sign that something
Or someone made and created
Our fare universe
And the planet with in it
As I look up at the Big Dipper
I see a chance to pray
A chance to worship
But I believe this asterism
Is a piece of simple art,
Perfect and delicate
That even tattoo artists cannot recreate
But do we have to give this entity:
A book, and a place to worship!
No?!  For it is nature

As I walk to the mail box
In the late evening I see
That it’s the  twilight
hour!  I look up to
See the new moon
But only to see that
It was eclipsed  
How do you like those
Apples

The microcosms of the brain
Something that is beyond belief
Something that is beacons comprehension
You can be a psychiatrist
You can be psychologist
But it will still bell
The hell out of you
God’s biggest wonders
Of the world

There are memories that I have
Some I like some I would rather
Forget.  But the ones I want to remember
That make me. ….me !  Are the a
T
  A
       M
            O
                G
                    O
                        T
                           C
                               H
                                    I
Fall leaves as my niece and nephew played in them
The sight of a jack o lantern
These are the memories that made me
This is my brain finger print of the past
Now
O
      N
To the future

And so this person complains to
My video about how they hate
Mentally Ill people
I was floored as I saw my
Soul poor out of me
I was amusing my self with
Music
Actual music but then  comment
Remains
Causing me  to think am I
The only one with a brain
Lord only knows what crap the listen
To

Caffeine
I cannot live with it
Nor
I cannot  with out it
For I turn into a troll
At the  strike
9 am

As I see the Christmas
Tree, with all the lights
On it
I see many psychedelic
Colours
Colours I love to
See
Every year
Why do people do drugs
When the can get high
Off life!
As I see the Christmas light
Blue
I feel an new!

My first experience
With clairvoyance
Was nit a good experience
I walked into a house
This house had
Negative energy
As if some wanted to attack me
But it was the energy at the time
Then my sister told
Me this that
Some worm killed his family
And him self in the exact
House I was staying
Oh the terror I felt

Depression is a struggle
A struggle that is not just
Emotional and mental
But also physical
As that you find  that
You will will not be able to
Make a definitive
Decision
This indecision
Is more intense
The gaping sadness
That it depression
This struggle is real
The struggle is permanently
Scarring
not just to you
But your friends

We make believe  about monsters
Cryptids, spirits and demons
To help explain
Away the evil in the world
Make up these stories
To help us cope with
Hard time
Be it as a collective
Or personal

13
Was the most unlucky year
Of the life
From the get go
I was skinnier
And more paranoid than
Dale Gribble
Helllo this day I still believe in aliens

Dear Netflix
(F)uck you

As I see my self as a fourteen year old
I see that she was week of heart beaten
Like a dogs as I see her try to fight back
Not just for her dignity but also her dream
She finds her self getting into trouble
Her dreams crushed by bullying
As I try to talk to my younger self
I will have to tell them that it will get
Worse before it even gets better
It brakes my heart but then
I say it will get better sooner
Then later…..but she does not believe
Me but I can not push her to believe
She will have to experience the goodness at
Some point in life

Hello Elena how are you doing
I must say that those idiots got to you
As you are not FBI as I hoped to be
But instead an artist and writer
Bold choice!  This right now is the pits for
Me.   School they don’t accept me and they
Make me look crazy! Instead of someone
Who wants to make a difference.   Can you try
To be a polygraph examiner, but I you want to
Be creative I understand as that the bullying is intense.
You say it will get better, I hope it will
I am writing this as I am crying my self to sleep
I believe it will get worse before it gets if any better
So many psychopaths that I have to deal with
It is sai to be honest.   Will I ever have friends
Or will I disappear!    I hope I don’t, please learn
From me!

Me as a fourteen y/o

As I drive along the country side
I see that everything when white
And then the days are short
It’s 2 pm….but the sun is setting
Soon it will be night and in that dismal
Sunset
I see a silhouette of farming  equipment
It remained me of my ancestral homeland
The vast and dismal wastes of siberia
And Central Asia!
For know I am in the land of the dead!

I am not religious  
I don't believe on the devil
Nor
I believe in demons
For we make our own
But this I will say
I believe the evils of man
I am just a suthsay
Ie. 9/11

The  idea of  selling
Friendship
But true friendship
Could not be sold or
Bought
It is like the air

I don’t fear the supernatural
But I am fearful of things
Unnatural to me this concept
Of marriage is worse than the
Hellfire, the qazim I can
Not face this fear for it is the
Fear of lying, covering up
Who I really am the person
That god intended me to be
So I rather just be spiritual
And happy to be lying to
People that I should care about

February baby
Amythest baby
For our stone
Means intelligent
And wisdom
But they also calm
And help others sleep
It’s strange to be an amythest
Baby

As the the thin crescent , a scythe
Cuts through the darkness
So was also the screams of
Achilles’ army
Being whiped out but the amazons
In the night
Who am I
But woman
Am I

You doing now what
Freedom is until
You flee a war torn country
You will never no the need to
Eat unless you’ve been in famine
You don’t know what’s
Sick
Unless you’ve been in see the human soul
And what is pure good too

You probable hear a lot of this
F word from Hank hill
But that f word is freedom
That word happened today
When
A sad Assad regime
Tooled for the last time
Let’s pray for more friend
And joy and peace this winter season

A frozen river
Still and glass like showing
Nature's reflection

Full-moon light
Can create
Frightening and
Disturbing shadows that seem
To shape-shifting at a wim
As I walk the halls to get the bathroom
The full-moon exposes
The darkness of the corners
But yet the corners of our minds too
As I see these shape shifting
Shadows turn from evil
To horrific
I wish I stayed in my room

I am a ginger not the drink
But I am who i am
Take it out leave it
But this I will say
That you will pay the price for
You abscennce and abuse
By having my snap
Oh ginger snapps
Oh ginger snapps
But it will be justified
For who you treated me

There once was a fish named Deb.
Who lived in a nice simple fish bowl of water.
She enjoyed her decorations and swim happily but didn't know
if she was hurting the humans around her with water. As she grew and grew the more panicked people got
and soon they had to switch Fish bowls to
the aquariums to the point where they could no longer afford them
soon the fish died because it grew In unsanitary conditions.
Poor deb.

Yes I am goth
That doesn't makes me
The big-bad wolf
I am just trying
To live like everyone
Else
Despite my scary
Clothing and make-up
It's just that clothing
And makeup as well
Music ; it does not
Have baring
On how I act

Grounding  is like putting your self on a charger
Grounding is connecting back to nature
Grounding going back on line with the spirit world
You see
We are not all different from
Our electronics

I walk the streets
Looking for friends
I walk the streets in
The middle of the night
As I am in search of
Of friend life forms
But only to
Be met with hate
Only to be ridiculed
Only to be
Forced to fit in

I was given at age thirty
Many vision
Many messages
Of the world to come
The first the pandemic
The war in Ukraine
And something much worse
I was also sent to tour hell
As I went through with
The protection of an arch angel
I see that gory scenes of just 3 circle and 9 sub circles
And a poison desert
For the worst of humans

If I could I would deal with my fathers death more

Easily then I am

If I could I would deal with

This ******* confusion with out

The confusion of others

If I could there would be no winter

As I hate having S.A.D.

if I could I would press the reboot button on my life

For where did I go wrong

Grade 8??!!

I walk the line between life and death
This apple's rotten, rotten to the core
Get up, get up, off your knees
Get down, get down, on the floor!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
My business is a little clock and scythe
I drink so much I don't walk I merely stagger!
No you wouldn't listen & I don't blame you
No I don't blame ya!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
My rent is 30 a day
I can't move
You know that's the price you pay
Is life all in vain?
Starts off in my arm
Opens up my brain
I'm already in the gutter -
Next stop is the morgue!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
Live fast, die old
Live fast, die old
I walk the line
Death
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
While others have been thinking about it - I've been there and back
Hall and here
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death

One persons can be called crazy
For their observations on society
When other people conform to
It
At the risk of selling their souls

This I would read
As it was up to my speed
At recess while the other kids were
Beating eachother up
And torment one and other
While I was when one the beaten
And tormented
I took to studying law
During recess in
Avoidance of the bullies
This.... this was
My mother's idea

What would happen
If I were
To strap my heart
To a polygraph test
Would it stay true for you
Would it just lie to me again

Years of being bullied
Being called all sorts of
Of names
Getting in all sorts of fights
Pulling all sorts of pranks
On my torturers
The grim *******
Alex, Karen and jennifer
Has nearly lead to
Me dead on day
In Guantanamo Bay
I wish I lie
But that was what I was threatened
With
Given the choice of life or death
I chose life and became a yakuza
It was only for my only safety
But I learned some lessons on the way
The hard way

When I think of the book box
I think if not just material
Items.  But things that give you
Joy and happiness as well as
Intelligence.    To be honest
When I crack open the fruits of
This box!  I see that I am smiling
As I am learning
And being happy
Visit one of these box’s one day
I swear you won’t regret it

This is a memoir

Of how my thoughts

Are so film noir

These thoughts both

Beautiful and horrific

The idea of being human

Is to overcome it all in the end

Both the beautiful and the horrific

Think about that

As the vampires dance in the night

They sing a tune and that tune

Rock lobster, rock lobster

The chant until the night is done

And the belly’s full of blood

Rock lobster, motion of the oceans

He was in a Jamin a giant clam

They sing hoping to attract more

And fresher meat!

Boooooooooooooooooooo!

The memories I had of my father are
The following as I look at the night sky
And the Big Dipper, I remember my father
Teaching me about the constellations,
Planets and other things in the night sky
As I read a book I remember him
Teaching me  to read though Stephen King’s
The stand, and goosebumps
As I watch tv or a movie
I remember him teaching me
About the appreciation of the
Performing arts
This are lessons I will never forget
As he is in the spirit world!
Thank you Peter Melanson

I must say
Though I am
Just a suthsayer
Not supersain
But this I say here
With a beer (non alcoholic)
In my hand
There are to
Types of memories
Milfs :
Memories I’d like to forget
And then there
Are glimmers:
The real good stuff
That you should remember
But I am just saying
Human to human
As a starseed
Not a supersayen

I am a misfit since age 14
I used to have friends before then
But they all turned out to be fake
I was a misfit since age 14
But that don’t mean broken
Crayons can not colour
Of  I am a misfit….
Not dead
I have  been a misfit age 14
Being misunderstood  for
Everything and everything
But this I will say now I am
36 and I am no longer a
Misfit
I am a someone who matters
With I fit in or not

I am multi coloured
As in multiethnic
For I am arab,
Chechen, Roma,
And central Asian
Himalayan and Uighur
But that has been me since
I always all over the ****
      M
                       A
  P
That is my DNA
Hence I am multicoloured

As I feel asleep
After a stressful
Coffee feel day
I find that I see mushroom clouds in the distance
An omen of
What is  going on
This impending war
This impending hatred towards our fellow man
This empending genocide
This I will not stand for
I have has these prophecies
Of this
Since age 14
Now it 13 years later
Or so i still
Receive
Mushroom clouds in the distance
Like evil psychedelic shrooms that
Are from hell!
What we need is more security
More love for each other