A true testament of gods power
This this look up and find it
What do you see the Big Dipper
Good!!!
That simple
Asterism is the only proof
That something
Bigger then us is around
Something that want peace for all
Man kind
The Big Dipper
You should look at it
One time

There are stark similarities
To the amount of color
In both
And I say both Christmas and
Pride
As the have thr same colors
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Indigo
Pink
Alas one is in the day
The other lights up the night

You doing now what
Freedom is until
You flee a war torn country
You will never no the need to
Eat unless you’ve been in famine
You don’t know what’s
Sick
Unless you’ve been in see the human soul
And what is pure good too

This is a memoir

Of how my thoughts

Are so film noir

These thoughts both

Beautiful and horrific

The idea of being human

Is to overcome it all in the end

Both the beautiful and the horrific

Think about that

The  idea of  selling
Friendship
But true friendship
Could not be sold or
Bought
It is like the air

I don’t fear the supernatural
But I am fearful of things
Unnatural to me this concept
Of marriage is worse than the
Hellfire, the qazim I can
Not face this fear for it is the
Fear of lying, covering up
Who I really am the person
That god intended me to be
So I rather just be spiritual
And happy to be lying to
People that I should care about

Years of being bullied
Being called all sorts of
Of names
Getting in all sorts of fights
Pulling all sorts of pranks
On my torturers
The grim *******
Alex, Karen and jennifer
Has nearly lead to
Me dead on day
In Guantanamo Bay
I wish I lie
But that was what I was threatened
With
Given the choice of life or death
I chose life and became a yakuza
It was only for my only safety
But I learned some lessons on the way
The hard way

When inwas in High-school
My mom compared my
Writing to Virginia Wolf
For I was alover the place


When I was in high school
I got a taste of the Sims 4
I did not like that game
The green diamond ****** me off


When I was in high school
I was given the first hint
About my Asian
Ancestry by my father

A lot has happened when I was In highschool

As the the thin crescent , a scythe
Cuts through the darkness
So was also the screams of
Achilles’ army
Being whiped out but the amazons
In the night
Who am I
But woman
Am I

As I kid
My mom would like to me
To her work
At this time was at the Supreme Court
Of Canada
There I was exposed to the legal
Knowledge  that I would knew
And claim interest in
Those summers
We're the best summers

What a nickel to spend 

At the recycling centre

But I rather keep this coin

I name it Nikki 

As I found these 

Are getting rarer and rare 

By the day

 As I find that

It makes me more 

Insecure about society

To live in glee
January 31, 1935
Ottawa…..
To rest in peace
October 15, 2024
Ottawa

People don't understand me
For I have been to the spirit
World and back

People don't understand me
For I see ghosts
From the other side

People don't understand
The fact that I am sensitive
The call me names


Insane
******
And spazz

Don't the lyrics know their words hurt

A rip off
To people like me
Who just lost
Someone
But it is the best guarantee
For those who are suffering
From lack of freedom
Or if the are suffering greatly physically
Call it want you want
But death is a great promise
Though a pain in ****

As I spill my ink
I feel like an octopus
Ink every where
But I still have to design that
Tattoo
And write this poem
Though painful at times
Emotionally
It will be well with
The spilled ink

We make believe  about monsters
Cryptids, spirits and demons
To help explain
Away the evil in the world
Make up these stories
To help us cope with
Hard time
Be it as a collective
Or personal

As the vampires dance in the night

They sing a tune and that tune

Rock lobster, rock lobster

The chant until the night is done

And the belly’s full of blood

Rock lobster, motion of the oceans

He was in a Jamin a giant clam

They sing hoping to attract more

And fresher meat!

Boooooooooooooooooooo!

The Big Dipper
A sign that something
Or someone made and created
Our fare universe
And the planet with in it
As I look up at the Big Dipper
I see a chance to pray
A chance to worship
But I believe this asterism
Is a piece of simple art,
Perfect and delicate
That even tattoo artists cannot recreate
But do we have to give this entity:
A book, and a place to worship!
No?!  For it is nature

I am always all over the emotion
Wheel when I am creating
And spilling ink
As I feel the full scope of the
Emotions
Like carrying a child to term
It is joyous and painful
And yet I do it every **** day

As I drive along the country side
I see that everything when white
And then the days are short
It’s 2 pm….but the sun is setting
Soon it will be night and in that dismal
Sunset
I see a silhouette of farming  equipment
It remained me of my ancestral homeland
The vast and dismal wastes of siberia
And Central Asia!
For know I am in the land of the dead!

What say you
Give me crystals instead of
Pill
What say you
Give me rings instead of
Money
What say you
Help me be a better person
What say you

This I say on friendship
That the only down side to friendship
Is that when will the betray you
Is that when do the break your
Heart
For this is the springer show
Note the dope show as
There will be trauma
And drama

Thank you Santa for the handpan
I did not know
That it was there
Under the tree waiting for me
Thank you Santa for the handpan
It was very shocking to see
And surprising to
I want know what else you have
Instore for me
On this Christmas Day coming up
:)

Yes, shamanism involves the belief that a shaman's soul multiplies after death, with each disembodied spirit carrying the shaman's soul image:
After death: When a shaman dies, their personal spirits disperse back into the forest and on the mountaintops.
Soul multiplicity: Each disembodied spirit becomes a carrier of the shaman's soul image.
Shamanism is a religious practice that's often associated with Indigenous and tribal societies. Shamans are believed to have a connection to the otherworld and the power to: heal the sick, communicate with spirits, and escort souls of the dead to the afterlife.
Shamans are also believed to have the ability to: foretell the future, advise on the whereabouts of game animals, predict impending catastrophes, and control the forces of nature.

Leanna Hirstwood
I remember not fondly
For she started as  friend
The became an enemy
With a few words said
The black mailing started
To hurt me
But my friends the most
Only to find out
That she was supposed to be
Of integrity
Little of that she had

I walk the line between life and death
This apple's rotten, rotten to the core
Get up, get up, off your knees
Get down, get down, on the floor!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
My business is a little clock and scythe
I drink so much I don't walk I merely stagger!
No you wouldn't listen & I don't blame you
No I don't blame ya!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
My rent is 30 a day
I can't move
You know that's the price you pay
Is life all in vain?
Starts off in my arm
Opens up my brain
I'm already in the gutter -
Next stop is the morgue!
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
Live fast, die old
Live fast, die old
I walk the line
Death
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death
While others have been thinking about it - I've been there and back
Hall and here
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
I walk the line
Between life and death

Form my father I learned about the night sky
But alas I did not
Think that learning from the nights sky about life
The stars are always there
Hidden by the day
The moon shows that we can have phases
The sun
Ups and downs in life
And that to find your way home
The Big Dipper
Will point you the right way!
This is not what I expected to learn from the night sky
The idea of being human

The sky
Either friendly
Or hostile
As the weather changes
Like our personality
We change for the better
And sometimes the worse
But in nature she
Shape shifter for sure
Ever so changing

You probable hear a lot of this
F word from Hank hill
But that f word is freedom
That word happened today
When
A sad Assad regime
Tooled for the last time
Let’s pray for more friend
And joy and peace this winter season

I must say
Though I am
Just a suthsayer
Not supersain
But this I say here
With a beer (non alcoholic)
In my hand
There are to
Types of memories
Milfs :
Memories I’d like to forget
And then there
Are glimmers:
The real good stuff
That you should remember
But I am just saying
Human to human
As a starseed
Not a supersayen

If I could I would deal with my fathers death more

Easily then I am

If I could I would deal with

This ******* confusion with out

The confusion of others

If I could there would be no winter

As I hate having S.A.D.

if I could I would press the reboot button on my life

For where did I go wrong

Grade 8??!!

When I sleep I
Enter a mysterious world
That is closed off to most
Of the living
You could call it a dream
Nit a dream its not
It's the spirit world
There I have done more
Benefit the negativity
There in this haunting
World is of
Great beauty
Great pain
And surreal

As I walk to the mail box
In the late evening I see
That it’s the  twilight
hour!  I look up to
See the new moon
But only to see that
It was eclipsed  
How do you like those
Apples

13
Was the most unlucky year
Of the life
From the get go
I was skinnier
And more paranoid than
Dale Gribble
Helllo this day I still believe in aliens

Oh I am just an x-file
A freak of nature
Oh I am a girl
Oh I am a girl
But no one gives a ****

So I am just an x-file
Haunting the streets
Hoping for the best
Oh I am just a girl
Oh I am just a girl
But no one care

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
I am just an x-file
Just hanging out
Hoping to be the next punk
Oh I am just a girl
Oh I am just a girl
But no one cares
One one cares

During the bone moon
The people start to turn on each other
Killing each other
To feed off their bones
During the dead of winter the
Survivors of the bone moon
Will fall prey
To the wendigo
As the soon waste away
Winter is a dangerous time of year

These are the words that I despise
I shall not tell you
What words
Nor why I hate these words
For they are
Hateful
Evil
And
Just plain stupid
To say
Why do people say offensive
Slurs
I will never know

As I was walking out if my place if employment
I saw what looked
Like a coyote
Shape shift
To a wolf
and then from wolf to
Human to crow
In the dead of night
As I see this
My breathe is taken away
As if the wind was knocked out if
Me

I was going to the high computer literacy class
A class that I despise
A class that I dread
I go and sit but .....
It was the last time I sit for all of eternity
As I sit  out taking a breath
I don't feel my heart beat
I was sitting lifeless  in my chair
Some of the students noticed that I was not doing
Anything
The teacher was calling 911 as he noticed that I was not breathing as I just sit there limp
It feels like I was locked in my dead body, my soul that was!
I cannot enter the spirit world and as I try to enter. The realm
I am just at the borderlands
I wish I could move but I could not
Soon they realized what I already know
That I was dead and in limbo!  As they realized this they call
The medical examiner instead
Because I ain't breathing
Then I was taking to the morgue
As the drive I scream
"It's the ******* classes that caused my death
The ******* stress and boredom
The fact that I was deciding to break free!"
But what the does the driver say nothing  as I try to be heard!
I am processed and borough in for autopsy
The medical examiner said this ....
"Who do we have here today!"
She looks at my papers and said my full name
Elena Melanson
Before she could get the scalpel I tell physically make sounds
Telling her he exact cause of death
"It was that ******* computer lit class
That killed me, it borded and
Stressed me to death!"  
She finds this remarkable that I would be able to talk with
My own voice
Then for the last time my soul hits the boarder lands
And goes right to the spirit world
And that was when my body went limp for the last time
Had I found peace? 
I am from dearh's cold grip and I find that I am
In a perpetual summer with
Wild followers all over the place
It seems peaceful and I go to the light
I am at peace!"

When I was going for a drive
Well being driven when
I realized that I did not have
My phone nor iPad
Were with me
The same thing with Sirenhead
I was not able to picture
The
Discs of light
Flying through the night sky
UFOs I saw
But I never thought to take a picture
But this I say
I believe

The ghost or a demon
From the blasts of hell
Will you trick me not
But I will lead my self to
Salvation
For I am only human

I am tired of feeling with this
You are ruining my life
Why can you go to hell
It would be really swell
But then I have deal with jackassory
I am not accessory
Why can you move
The (f)uck on
But your fixated
Thinking that I will comeback
Take a (f)ucking pill
Or chill
In the hell fire
For I have no room
For your tomfoolery
The next time you do this
I shall report
(A)sshole

Grounding  is like putting your self on a charger
Grounding is connecting back to nature
Grounding going back on line with the spirit world
You see
We are not all different from
Our electronics

To say this I must say proudly
I am who I am and I will be
A human being as well as
A starseed
For that Is what I am
I am who I am I say
Take it or leave it
But to sat thru I must say Proudly
I am a good person through and through
Isn’t that what matters

Let me send (d)ick picks
Let me send (d)ick picks
Let me send (d)ick picks

Or


Send me new(des)
Send me new(des)
Send me new(des)



Does this annoy you
If so report some who says this **** To you!

As I see my self as a fourteen year old
I see that she was week of heart beaten
Like a dogs as I see her try to fight back
Not just for her dignity but also her dream
She finds her self getting into trouble
Her dreams crushed by bullying
As I try to talk to my younger self
I will have to tell them that it will get
Worse before it even gets better
It brakes my heart but then
I say it will get better sooner
Then later…..but she does not believe
Me but I can not push her to believe
She will have to experience the goodness at
Some point in life

As  I am writing in my diary
I would say how my day
Is going
As I am writing in my diary
I write about a
Good song
I heard
As I am writing in my diary
The first entry I would
Write the
Good the bad and the ugly

As I write in my diary

Pain is unpleasant
Pain is what you feel
When something is
Not voting your way
But also pain is a sign that your alive
Be great full
For I am dead

As I write 

I am not going to lie

As I have

Being suffering 

Since October 15, 2024

If wasn’t it just me that suffered

But everything in my life 

At that

The pain I am going through is similar to 

Rendition 

Guantanamo 

Or Abu giahib 

I am wish I was laying as this 

Is what grief will do to you 

Emotionally detain and torture you!

There once was a fish named Deb.
Who lived in a nice simple fish bowl of water.
She enjoyed her decorations and swim happily but didn't know
if she was hurting the humans around her with water. As she grew and grew the more panicked people got
and soon they had to switch Fish bowls to
the aquariums to the point where they could no longer afford them
soon the fish died because it grew In unsanitary conditions.
Poor deb.