Am I enough
Surely I ponder
It doesn't seem to be
Another layer of makeup applied
Another drink from the bottle
Different relationship this week
Drowning my troubles in things
All of this I ponder down to the depths
Am I enough?
I don't rightly know
I look up at the woman
Ma'am I don't know

beautiful darling i know its hard
to have your scattered dreams and hopes thrown around
but tomorrow you need to get up
and fix your crown
don't let him have that power over you
because that my dear
is letting him win
so get up beautiful
and stand tall and smile
because today is your day
with your crown

All I see is blue
Through my eyes
Tears clouding my vision
I miss seeing the sunrise
Do you remember what it looks like ?
I certainly dont
Do you mind describing it to me
So I can know once again
I cant see anything through my eyes
They are clouded with tears and ugly little lies
Society has placed on ME
Without even ASKING
My vision is fading
Along with the sunrise
I know this is true
But I cant see you
I wish I could more than anything else
But here I am
Blind to everything else

we are expected to be held
to a certain standard of living
in which we maintain our facades
and navigate the web of lies
the society has trained us to say
in certain situations that call for them
at what point did we decide
to care about what society thinks
who decided that skinny was good?
and blond hair and blue eyes was perfect
and a dark tan meant good health
that certain brands meant you were a high-roller
at what point did we start giving a ****
about what the worlds standards were
at what point did we lose ourselves
and become tiny pieces of each other
at what point did we become pieces of everybody else
its sad to see we are made of pieces of others
at what point did we lose ourselves
and forget who we really are
i forgot who i was finally
staring into the glare
of a fiery future of people
who are mindless drones
of society

I feel like the sky
I want to see the sunrise
Yet I fall everytime

i open my eyes
hopefully to see the moon
all i see is dark

i close my eyes
because my heart seems to ache
with a feeling i cannot place

moral of the story
is in the end
what destroys me ?
you
destroy me
and enjoy
watching me burn
as you throw
more propane
on the fire
and laugh
as you walk
away

my thoughts are endless
but quick clear
but sometimes my dear
I think in color
vivid blues and greens and blinding yellows you see
but lately all I've come to know
is the darkness of black and blue
and all it holds
but the beautiful golds and pinks
that streak the sky
that is the sight worth
living
for

you knew my biggest insecurity
and you used it against me
i was like the pawn
in your little game
checkmate...

i lost 5 pounds,  am i skinny enough yet?
i used that lipstick you told me to use, does it look good?

i bought those new clothes everyone wears,  do i look cool enough?
i join the cheer team to fit in more, do they like me yet?

i had *** with that popular guy, am i breaching my adolescence
i started smoking ***, am i a cool enough stoner yet?

i started wear a full-face of makeup, am i attractive enough yet?
i shrunk my waist 5 inches, am i more desired now?

i started skipping school, am i fitting in with the status quo?
i started sneaking out, am i risky enough?

i got my nose pierced , is it edgy enough?
i dyed my hair to the blonde white you have it. so we can match?

i keyed that girls car who's such a freak, is that more acceptable
i bullied that girl and she killed herself, wasn't she such a freak?
__________________­_

im in the hospital now i lost too much weight
i ended up failing school for so much
im in debt for all the clothes i bought

the popular guy ended up getting me pregnant
i got arrested for keying her car and threatening her
my hair ended up falling out from all the bleach

my organs are shutting down from all the weight loss
i ended up addicted to drugs
my face now breakouts from all the products i used

i ruined my parents marriage by sneaking out and lying
i joined the cheer team and ended up trying to fit in
im currently dying ,  do i fit in enough yet?

I've reached the edge and now it's time to say goodbye
but it's not really goodbye it's just another start
another reality in time
I love you darling
Goodbye

I've reached the edge and now it's time to say goodbye
but it's not really goodbye forever just for now
I love you my darling
Goodbye

the boy
stole
the girls
heart
and they
both
died in
the
end
he refused
to
give it
back

i keep
getting dragged
back out to sea
by the restless waves
that he created
so i can't escape
its his sick games
to keep me coming back to him
every
single
time

you knew how much i was hurt in my past
you told me you wouldn't hurt me like they did
you told me you loved me
that i was pretty
that i was kind
that i was  everything
everything to you
i gave you my soul
i opened up to you
i trusted you
i loved you
i fell for you
i laughed with you
i cried with you
i comforted you
i gave you everything
and one day
i ask why are you being so cold?
i ask when did you stop loving me
your reply "now"...i think that truly broke me