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"thinness" poems
They are always with us, the thin people Meager of dimension as the gray people On a movie-screen. They Are unreal, we say: It was only in a movie, it was only In a war making evil headlines when we Were small that they famished and Grew so lean and would not round Out their stalky limbs again though peace Plumped the bellies of the mice Under the meanest table. It was during the long hunger-battle They found their talent to persevere In thinness, to come, later, Into our bad dreams, their menace Not guns, not abuses, But a thin silence. Wrapped in flea-ridded donkey skins, Empty of complaint, forever Drinking vinegar from tin cups: they wore The insufferable nimbus of the lot-drawn Scapegoat. But so thin, So weedy a race could not remain in dreams, Could not remain outlandish victims In the contracted country of the head Any more than the old woman in her mud hut could Keep from cutting fat meat Out of the side of the generous moon when it Set foot nightly in her yard Until her knife had pared The moon to a rind of little light. Now the thin people do not obliterate Themselves as the dawn Grayness blues, reddens, and the outline Of the world comes clear and fills with color. They persist in the sunlit room: the wallpaper Frieze of cabbage-roses and cornflowers pales Under their thin-lipped smiles, Their withering kingship. How they prop each other up! We own no wilderness rich and deep enough For stronghold against their stiff Battalions. See, how the tree boles flatten And lose their good browns If the thin people simply stand in the forest, Making the world go thin as a wasp's nest And grayer; not even moving their bones.
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23.6k
The Thin People
They are always with us, the thin people Meager of dimension as the gray people On a movie-screen. They Are unreal, we say: It was only in a movie, it was only In a war making evil headlines when we Were small that they famished and Grew so lean and would not round Out their stalky limbs again though peace Plumped the bellies of the mice Under the meanest table. It was during the long hunger-battle They found their talent to persevere In thinness, to come, later, Into our bad dreams, their menace Not guns, not abuses, But a thin silence. Wrapped in flea-ridded donkey skins, Empty of complaint, forever Drinking vinegar from tin cups: they wore The insufferable nimbus of the lot-drawn Scapegoat. But so thin, So weedy a race could not remain in dreams, Could not remain outlandish victims In the contracted country of the head Any more than the old woman in her mud hut could Keep from cutting fat meat Out of the side of the generous moon when it Set foot nightly in her yard Until her knife had pared The moon to a rind of little light. Now the thin people do not obliterate Themselves as the dawn Grayness blues, reddens, and the outline Of the world comes clear and fills with color. They persist in the sunlit room: the wallpaper Frieze of cabbage-roses and cornflowers pales Under their thin-lipped smiles, Their withering kingship. How they prop each other up! We own no wilderness rich and deep enough For stronghold against their stiff Battalions. See, how the tree boles flatten And lose their good browns If the thin people simply stand in the forest, Making the world go thin as a wasp's nest And grayer; not even moving their bones.
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47
You say stroll down memory lane, I say revisiting the house of horrors. To you, a simple memory. To me, my worst nightmare. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, I'm still scared out of my mind. It is currently 2:47 A.M and all I can think of is your smile. Your straight and partially stained teeth have tainted my mind. The way your appearance has changed over the years baffles me. You used to be handsome, strong, and so caring. Now, you've grown too thin along with your hair. You went from bad to worse with the substance that took everything from you. I hear you laugh from the good times we had. I hear you scream from the bad times we had. They both echo endlessly through my mind. Is it bad that I can't tell which one I try to avoid more? I miss the good times between us. I used to cherish hearing you say you loved me. Only because it was such a rare thing. I can't remember what it sounds like coming from your throat. What is a child supposed to do without a father? You were my everything, but it seems I was not yours. For you, your everything is the thing that'll end you. I tried to save you but it seems you didn't want to be saved. I fear that one day I'll forget the thinness of your hair and frame, Too late for the feeling of your arms during an embrace. Was it too much for you to hug me. The eyes that I feared so much are now burned into the back of my mind. How the whites of your eyes became more yellow each day. How the once brown eyes are now an ugly greenish blue. How the skin around them has sunken in. Was I not enough? What did I do wrong? Was I not the daughter you wanted? What did I do to make you treat me like that? You act as if I hate you but that's not true. In fact, it's the opposite, I love you. I love you more than anything. That's why I left, I gave up everything for you in hopes you would get better. I guess it wasn't enough. Nothing ever was. Not even my scars. I'll always love you, but I can't promise that I'll ever call you my dad again.
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Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 9:46 PM UTC
Stroll Down Memory Lane
You say stroll down memory lane, I say revisiting the house of horrors. To you, a simple memory. To me, my worst nightmare. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, I'm still scared out of my mind. It is currently 2:47 A.M and all I can think of is your smile. Your straight and partially stained teeth have tainted my mind. The way your appearance has changed over the years baffles me. You used to be handsome, strong, and so caring. Now, you've grown too thin along with your hair. You went from bad to worse with the substance that took everything from you. I hear you laugh from the good times we had. I hear you scream from the bad times we had. They both echo endlessly through my mind. Is it bad that I can't tell which one I try to avoid more? I miss the good times between us. I used to cherish hearing you say you loved me. Only because it was such a rare thing. I can't remember what it sounds like coming from your throat. What is a child supposed to do without a father? You were my everything, but it seems I was not yours. For you, your everything is the thing that'll end you. I tried to save you but it seems you didn't want to be saved. I fear that one day I'll forget the thinness of your hair and frame, Too late for the feeling of your arms during an embrace. Was it too much for you to hug me. The eyes that I feared so much are now burned into the back of my mind. How the whites of your eyes became more yellow each day. How the once brown eyes are now an ugly greenish blue. How the skin around them has sunken in. Was I not enough? What did I do wrong? Was I not the daughter you wanted? What did I do to make you treat me like that? You act as if I hate you but that's not true. In fact, it's the opposite, I love you. I love you more than anything. That's why I left, I gave up everything for you in hopes you would get better. I guess it wasn't enough. Nothing ever was. Not even my scars. I'll always love you, but I can't promise that I'll ever call you my dad again.
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43
Trying to feel the thinness of air, Running through your fingers like silk Gently pushing around you in a soft embrace Intangible tendrils wisping around your face Ever present, And forgotten
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Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 12:28 PM UTC
Air
Push back that limp piece of hair behind the thinness of your ears and look at yourself full on, no make-up, or mask, or paint or picture just DNA, yours. I see waves of songs and lyrics attached to flesh, can you hear it? That transcendental vocal like a babies cry and a mother tender eye, a demise too immortal for human opinion. But I know you hear it too, the other sound of lies that are inescapable and so pungent it turns milk sour and crushes noses you take small bites, and pretend to dance as you listen to that melody as if it was truth but darling its not truth, for the acne scars, and full lips, the birthmarks and stolen hips, flat chest, and dent of skin, is beautiful to me cause I see what's flowing from within
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Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 9:06 AM UTC
Body distortion
Tall men think of robust ladies Shorter ladies dream of length, Toothless people fantasize Of mandibles of white, bright strength. Porcine women lust for thinness Breast less girlies long for ***** Dissatisfaction fills the air It's greener grass or down the tubes. Black man hopes for pale complexion White girls bake to raise a tan, Brown eyed lassie's envy blue-ness, ***** lesbian's, a man. The wealthy want the easy life Beggars yearn for cash, Dissatisfaction's in the air And mirrors are so trash. Across the human spectrum far Mankind wants for more, The grass is always greener Looking through another door. It's bigger, better, brighter, best The quest is always there Relentlessly pursued with glee, Bright eyes and bushy hair. Results are mixed and varied here Some reach the holy grail To watch it slip beyond their grasp Then founder, fall and fail. Some teeter on a platform, Some grasp the prize and run, Some hit their stride at bounding pace To see the contest won. But by and large there's misery Few climb the road to joy, Frustration be my brother Dissatisfaction be my ploy. Limitation is our lot in life. Our secret to success Is to love the mirror warts and all All other **** ...repress !! MERRY CHRISTMAS Marshalg @theBach Mangere Bridge 23 December 2009 www.worthyofpublishing.com
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Dec 22, 2009
Dec 22, 2009 at 6:15 PM UTC
Love the Mirror
As virtuous men pass mildly away, And whisper to their souls to go, Whilst some of their sad friends do say The breath goes now, and some say, No: So let us melt, and make no noise, No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move, ’Twere profanation of our joys To tell the laity our love. Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears, Men reckon what it did and meant, But trepidation of the spheres, Though greater far, is innocent. Dull sublunary lovers’ love (Whose soul is sense) cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove Those things which elemented it. But we by a love so much refined That our selves know not what it is, Inter-assurèd of the mind, Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss. Our two souls therefore, which are one, Though I must go, endure not yet A breach, but an expansion, Like gold to aery thinness beat. If they be two, they are two so As stiff twin compasses are two; Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show To move, but doth, if th’ other do. And though it in the centre sit, Yet when the other far doth roam, It leans and hearkens after it, And grows ***** as that comes home. Such wilt thou be to me, who must Like th’ other foot, obliquely run; Thy firmness makes my circle just, And makes me end where I begun.
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2.7k
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
I sit by myself My feet fit in the space behind the rows my boots feeling the stick of leftover pop residue of someone else's night out. when the blue and black of this giant space comes up and the sound invades the air around my shoulders I settle and let the thinness of fake light triumphant music and the emotions of beautiful sociopathic creatures fix and fill the holes and crannies in the road of my lonesome soul.
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Mar 1, 2011
Mar 1, 2011 at 3:51 PM UTC
Twelve Dollars
My Welsh is just not good enough for verse. My dw i'n hoffi coffi's lacking fizz; cynghanedd is pedestrian or worse; I wish it wasn't so, but there it is. My struggle's still to learn, as yours to teach, and so my englyn's still in English sung, and aching awdls cower out of reach, and English shows the thinness of the tongue. But here's my goal: some month the Gorsedd meet so many miles ahead— I may be there to share my bitter words, my verses sweet, at common table. Never mind the chair. But that's a dream, and not what's on the card, and much as I might dream— for now— I'm barred.
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May 22, 2010
May 22, 2010 at 9:12 PM UTC
On being incompetent in Welsh poetry
One day I sat down in my bathroom, Might be because of the cold wall behind me Or maybe because what I just saw in the mirror "the new me". I saw a deep skinny girl apparently me The thinness of the neckline scared my soul, The pale color covered my whole, Lips were darkened, Eyes were dull, Face looked like almost dead, That day I felt the most lethal fear of mine. Commonly named as BODY SHAMING.
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Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 7:53 AM UTC
#BODYSHAMING
Nobody respects a liar. I just want to know if they chose, or just learned to cool down quicker than me. Im not learning anything about the riddles I gave myself years ago. Cardboard sleeves and my truth explodes When I fall like the last leaf. What is one thing I have always been? I have always been an apologist. What else? because everyone, you already know that. I hate female vocalists. unless they sound like they cant stand themselves. Unless they sound as disinterested in their own voice as I am in mine, I cant stand them. I only respect female singers who play their own **** instruments. And I will never have the guts to ask if you're wearing your heart on your sleeve Or if it's just me and my wearing my heart as my sleeve. Sometime ago I asked myself if I could see ahead, and I laughed, and hit my **** Ive suffered, and Ive sang it off. Even when I couldnt sing a note to save my pathetic life. No one respects a liar. im not a liar. Im not different at all. In fact, im exactly what I've been grown around. Im half alive and I'm nothing but sacrifice and I feel worthy when my worth is measured in something else. There is not one thing I can stand less than people who do not underdstand their own language. for gods sake, it's they're, not there. it's here. not heir. it's i BEFORE e. but im a hypocrite, because half the time...most the time i dont capitalize any I's that i'm using to explain about myself. i think it's because it's not worth the stretch to hit the shift bar. for myself I'm lazy. I have an eleven key hand span on the piano, and i cannot even type properly. thats an octave and a half almost. I was born to be a woman that pays her taxes and has a checking account. And a four door sedan with two carseats. And a ring around my finger, a two bedroom house and bedtime stories all over the bookshelves. I want to teach my partner how to play the ukulele, i want to show my children that faith is real, even if god isnt. I want a family that will have me for the rest of their lives, through good or bad. Through tradgedy, illness, thinness, gain, loss, stress, sobriety, through debt and through retirement. I was made to give, and I feel selfish for writing this. Because its all about me. I want to give myself to something. I want to be the best fiance I can be. I want to be the best student I can be. The best daughter. The best owner to my pets. The best aunt, neice, cousin. I want to the best wife and mother I can be. I'm not lying.
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Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013 at 7:22 PM UTC
refill
Nobody respects a liar. I just want to know if they chose, or just learned to cool down quicker than me. Im not learning anything about the riddles I gave myself years ago. Cardboard sleeves and my truth explodes When I fall like the last leaf. What is one thing I have always been? I have always been an apologist. What else? because everyone, you already know that. I hate female vocalists. unless they sound like they cant stand themselves. Unless they sound as disinterested in their own voice as I am in mine, I cant stand them. I only respect female singers who play their own **** instruments. And I will never have the guts to ask if you're wearing your heart on your sleeve Or if it's just me and my wearing my heart as my sleeve. Sometime ago I asked myself if I could see ahead, and I laughed, and hit my **** Ive suffered, and Ive sang it off. Even when I couldnt sing a note to save my pathetic life. No one respects a liar. im not a liar. Im not different at all. In fact, im exactly what I've been grown around. Im half alive and I'm nothing but sacrifice and I feel worthy when my worth is measured in something else. There is not one thing I can stand less than people who do not underdstand their own language. for gods sake, it's they're, not there. it's here. not heir. it's i BEFORE e. but im a hypocrite, because half the time...most the time i dont capitalize any I's that i'm using to explain about myself. i think it's because it's not worth the stretch to hit the shift bar. for myself I'm lazy. I have an eleven key hand span on the piano, and i cannot even type properly. thats an octave and a half almost. I was born to be a woman that pays her taxes and has a checking account. And a four door sedan with two carseats. And a ring around my finger, a two bedroom house and bedtime stories all over the bookshelves. I want to teach my partner how to play the ukulele, i want to show my children that faith is real, even if god isnt. I want a family that will have me for the rest of their lives, through good or bad. Through tradgedy, illness, thinness, gain, loss, stress, sobriety, through debt and through retirement. I was made to give, and I feel selfish for writing this. Because its all about me. I want to give myself to something. I want to be the best fiance I can be. I want to be the best student I can be. The best daughter. The best owner to my pets. The best aunt, neice, cousin. I want to the best wife and mother I can be. I'm not lying.
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55
O my delectable magnificent! Thou art so subtle and, in truth, divine; Thy taste doth merely whisper peppermint As it consumes my body and my mind. Thou dost imposeth here upon my core, With such a minty thinness that doth quell, The softness of a glutton and yet more, Though rampant want within my gut still dwells. But whilst, at first, thou hast great quantity And flaunt thyself to me as decadent, In but two bites, thou hast abandoned me And left me naught such goods as Heaven sent. Until bereft I find the box so nice, Which cost my purse a total dollar thrice.
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Nov 3, 2010
Nov 3, 2010 at 3:34 PM UTC
O My Delectable Magnificent!
He stands awkwardly Barefoot on snow-packed sheets After shuffling side to side Beside his penguin bride Across thick panes of ice, Against the blowing snow... Hesitates... Suddenly he dives. Wings spreading now, He flies, awareness full The sense of skimming beneath Deep waves, unsinkable, The call to move gracefully at will Pulls the penguin down to dive Through thick ice holes He lives as though immortal: No fear of sinking Of freezing nor of dying... Only the ecstasy of flying. Floating above sea-graves deep; Flying below the thinness of air, This visitor to depths of blue, Creature of air and light, Escapes the wind and cold above To fly in water.
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Dec 20, 2011
Dec 20, 2011 at 9:24 PM UTC
Penguin's Flight
Tall men think of robust ladies Shorter ladies dream of length, Toothless people fantasize Of mandibles of white, bright strength. Porcine women lust for thinness Breast less girlies long for ***** Dissatisfaction fills the air It's greener grass or down the tubes. Black man hopes for pale complexion White girls bake to raise a tan, Brown eyed lassie's envy blue-ness, ***** lesbian's, a man. The wealthy want the easy life Beggars yearn for cash, Dissatisfaction's in the air And mirrors are so trash. Across the human spectrum far Mankind wants for more, The grass is always greener Looking through another door. It's bigger, better, brighter, best The quest is always there Relentlessly pursued with glee, Bright eyes and bushy hair. Results are mixed and varied here Some reach the holy grail To watch it slip beyond their grasp Then founder, fall and fail. Some teeter on a platform, Some grasp the prize and run, Some hit their stride at bounding pace To see the contest won. But by and large there's misery Few climb the road to joy, Frustration be my brother Dissatisfaction be my ploy. Limitation is our lot in life. Our secret to success Is to love the mirror warts and all All other **** ...suppress !! M.
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Aug 25, 2014
Aug 25, 2014 at 6:30 AM UTC
Love the Mirror
Watch The snowflakes fall hard Strip until You are naked Step outside You feel nothing The cold lives Inside you Your hips sway Your eyes close Your arms above your head Reaching Into the silence Until you feel The thinness You Are Lost Disappearing into The frozen wind
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Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012 at 7:20 PM UTC
Quietly
I'm thinking of you in warmer weather I still like your thinness somehow lack of substance never compared to your company I remember a night we fell asleep looking at each other and you were just so tired I tie my hands in knots and throw fits waiting for that to happen once more
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Mar 4, 2016
Mar 4, 2016 at 2:46 AM UTC
a love song I think
I saw it a few days ago I chanced a glance into the void The place in which all emotions fall and seclude themselves The place where there are no stars and there is nothing but loud space She'd just tore away from me A small tear in the muslin But she pulled and pulled Until the void was exposed in my shredded star chart That subtle darkness in the undertones undulating thickly Turbulent waves beneath the glorified surface thinness And behind the closed door it- It was just a second really And the hopeless scientist behind me The dark and big and pragmatic and meek He didn't see But he knew And he wanted it back And again She left me frayed In another winter Before I could look to the skies and find meaning When our world was lit only by the fires of forthcoming fears and futile flickers What clouded the far-off pinpricks, the soft pinching of reality knocking at my door? It was her straight-edge fragility And her straight-edge solution Now her world is lit by a different kind of fire A fire that numbs So she said A fire that heals So she claims A flickering flame that destroys every membrane of my being And binds my hands to my feet And shoots wildly across the sky So I cry And I weep And I, a universe of atoms feel like a lost atom in her universe I safely encased in my crinkled paper, but Hot holes slowly eat their way through No maps or constellations face any competition before her But all she sees is a world of comets and fire My short fuse is wilted So she unzips her skin with a zippo And she freezes time And she runs across my horizon Bright, beautiful, blazing She is forever above my hands Her path unseen and unforseeable A spectators daydream The astrologists' nightmare
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Aug 12, 2013
Aug 12, 2013 at 12:04 AM UTC
The Astrologist's Nightmare
I saw it a few days ago I chanced a glance into the void The place in which all emotions fall and seclude themselves The place where there are no stars and there is nothing but loud space She'd just tore away from me A small tear in the muslin But she pulled and pulled Until the void was exposed in my shredded star chart That subtle darkness in the undertones undulating thickly Turbulent waves beneath the glorified surface thinness And behind the closed door it- It was just a second really And the hopeless scientist behind me The dark and big and pragmatic and meek He didn't see But he knew And he wanted it back And again She left me frayed In another winter Before I could look to the skies and find meaning When our world was lit only by the fires of forthcoming fears and futile flickers What clouded the far-off pinpricks, the soft pinching of reality knocking at my door? It was her straight-edge fragility And her straight-edge solution Now her world is lit by a different kind of fire A fire that numbs So she said A fire that heals So she claims A flickering flame that destroys every membrane of my being And binds my hands to my feet And shoots wildly across the sky So I cry And I weep And I, a universe of atoms feel like a lost atom in her universe I safely encased in my crinkled paper, but Hot holes slowly eat their way through No maps or constellations face any competition before her But all she sees is a world of comets and fire My short fuse is wilted So she unzips her skin with a zippo And she freezes time And she runs across my horizon Bright, beautiful, blazing She is forever above my hands Her path unseen and unforseeable A spectators daydream The astrologists' nightmare
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50
We would **** for the things we don’t have Even if it meant hurting ourselves And yet We hate many of the things That we already have. Killing for thinness Even if it means starving ourselves Just to satisfy society. But what does it mean In the grand scheme of things? Nothing, nothing at all. Society burns us like the devil Weighs and holds us down as an anchor. All the things we do Just to satisfy society. But why? It means absolutely nothing. Nothing to ourselves. And only concerns those closest to us. We only do it for one reason alone, To satisfy society. But in reality What does society matter Besides trying to ruin the lives of others. Shouldn’t being happy with ourselves be enough Or must we pacify those we don’t Nor will we ever know. Society burns like the devil And weighs us down like an anchor And yet not a single person Believes in their own self.
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Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012 at 9:26 AM UTC
Society
oh sure, they'll tell you in passing "expect a few sideffects, headaches, nausea, suicidal thoughts, increased urination. nothing too worrisome." what they don't stress is the thinness that those headaches stretch your mind out to. or that they never go away. that you're running to the bathroom twice every ten minutes, once to *** and once for the need to almost ***** but these are whiny words in a pharmaceutical world. even i can see that. **** bathroom break.
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Nov 11, 2011
Nov 11, 2011 at 3:50 AM UTC
sideffects they dont advertise
we were laying on the floor talking about your perpetually ***** hands, stained from rusty machinery, and I got to thinking that they looked an awful lot like terra sigillata, or marmalade or yams or tulip poplar honey-- waxy, with a glazed finish you brush your left thumb down my pinky and comment on the thinness of my skin (unsurprisingly) I mean, look at my hands! you say and I do and you're right, your hands are like slabs of green wood--in fact your whole body seems like some sort of pliable tree trunk but I don't say this because we've lapsed into a silence or an otherwise conveniently synchronized thought that has billowed up around our hips until our arms are overlapped and extended like a petiole of our bodies with my palm cradled in yours like some aeriform body, birdlike and gentle. You're tracing those lines like they mean something. Like they mean something to you. you have to understand that I am too often inside myself, awash on a shore, grown into the sand like a clam, experiencing solitude through a shell, keeping at bay on the bay sending prayers up like signal flares pumped up into the sky, silent on the horizon, loud from in here, so when I tentatively thread my fingers through your hair, know that I do so in supreme intimacy because words supposedly say the most (depending on who you're talking to) but my hands are a different language a different place, a different time a company of dissarranged thoughts and emotions, rippling and swelling trying to make sense of being touched so softly
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Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 8:27 PM UTC
Swedish Stroke & Venation Patterns: Act II, Scene ii
we were laying on the floor talking about your perpetually ***** hands, stained from rusty machinery, and I got to thinking that they looked an awful lot like terra sigillata, or marmalade or yams or tulip poplar honey-- waxy, with a glazed finish you brush your left thumb down my pinky and comment on the thinness of my skin (unsurprisingly) I mean, look at my hands! you say and I do and you're right, your hands are like slabs of green wood--in fact your whole body seems like some sort of pliable tree trunk but I don't say this because we've lapsed into a silence or an otherwise conveniently synchronized thought that has billowed up around our hips until our arms are overlapped and extended like a petiole of our bodies with my palm cradled in yours like some aeriform body, birdlike and gentle. You're tracing those lines like they mean something. Like they mean something to you. you have to understand that I am too often inside myself, awash on a shore, grown into the sand like a clam, experiencing solitude through a shell, keeping at bay on the bay sending prayers up like signal flares pumped up into the sky, silent on the horizon, loud from in here, so when I tentatively thread my fingers through your hair, know that I do so in supreme intimacy because words supposedly say the most (depending on who you're talking to) but my hands are a different language a different place, a different time a company of dissarranged thoughts and emotions, rippling and swelling trying to make sense of being touched so softly
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44
It only took a few days for you to seep into my mind and reside in the darkest parts. But once I knew you were there, I didn't try to rid of you. No, you gave yourself to me and I accepted you with open arms and an empty stomach. Like a parasite you ****** the life out of me. You wore me down to where I napped three times a day. My stomach never satisfied; either empty or stuffed. My period stopped for five months. Stomach pains worse than any pain I’ve experienced before. Living in a constant fear that my stomach acid would burn a hole through my esophagus. But you didn’t let any of these ailments stop us. You taught me to embrace them, they needed to happen. You convinced me to enjoy the pain I inflicted to myself. Just collateral damage to the ultimate goal of thinness. You pushed me so far deep inside my head, I was separated from the shell of my body. I couldn't recognize myself, I deserved to be nobody. But I didn’t know that then, you told me that was exactly who I was supposed to be, the real me. And I believed you.
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May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 6:29 PM UTC
Look What You Did to Me, Bulimia.
I touch death everywhere. It is pleasant sometimes. It is shooting upright stone forever up. It is cold metal blue, wind moving rushes, holding on to a snag as smooth as couch chamois. It is feeling wooden table bones, random spontaneous tapestries, my skin, your skin, my clothes wet with substance, drawn through mass downwards, on to you. I would let them go through me, if I could, like smoke, like talk, I feel (deaf, mute) the smoke inside from the drug inside. It would be outlawed if they could reach inside, visible words of hair-lit thinness on what is sought, reflections appearing on the beyond side of ordinary surfaces, tasting like salmon. I saw the glinting salmon meaning in a poem, Jorie. It was like when the sun came out with her, predictably, and I thought to trust it, perhaps this once, for hurt can’t last without the good also lasting. Maybe I just wasn’t listening right, this potential human being, this possibility, this normal occurrence, mundane, talked and scribbled dismissively as a dejected thought of dejection about dejection about what it is all about. Write it down, it’s a crossword, long as the climbing steps around the earth, senseless as black. white. There could be much in nothing, but it’s everywhere outside, and there are just a few stars, really. The billions are few in the outward sinking sky. See, I touch death, colorlessness, everything, sitting on ledges, feet dangling, today as yesterday as tomorrow, trying to stop this thinking habit, trying to be a Buddha about it, but the wind is cold this time, and there are too many of you. Maybe next time something will appear here, in soaking colors and ever pulsing acceptance, understanding blood, moving, living, meaning from beyond here, tomorrow or yesterday, but I hope today, before I am touched by it, and realize nothing.
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Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 8:00 PM UTC
Everywhere
I touch death everywhere. It is pleasant sometimes. It is shooting upright stone forever up. It is cold metal blue, wind moving rushes, holding on to a snag as smooth as couch chamois. It is feeling wooden table bones, random spontaneous tapestries, my skin, your skin, my clothes wet with substance, drawn through mass downwards, on to you. I would let them go through me, if I could, like smoke, like talk, I feel (deaf, mute) the smoke inside from the drug inside. It would be outlawed if they could reach inside, visible words of hair-lit thinness on what is sought, reflections appearing on the beyond side of ordinary surfaces, tasting like salmon. I saw the glinting salmon meaning in a poem, Jorie. It was like when the sun came out with her, predictably, and I thought to trust it, perhaps this once, for hurt can’t last without the good also lasting. Maybe I just wasn’t listening right, this potential human being, this possibility, this normal occurrence, mundane, talked and scribbled dismissively as a dejected thought of dejection about dejection about what it is all about. Write it down, it’s a crossword, long as the climbing steps around the earth, senseless as black. white. There could be much in nothing, but it’s everywhere outside, and there are just a few stars, really. The billions are few in the outward sinking sky. See, I touch death, colorlessness, everything, sitting on ledges, feet dangling, today as yesterday as tomorrow, trying to stop this thinking habit, trying to be a Buddha about it, but the wind is cold this time, and there are too many of you. Maybe next time something will appear here, in soaking colors and ever pulsing acceptance, understanding blood, moving, living, meaning from beyond here, tomorrow or yesterday, but I hope today, before I am touched by it, and realize nothing.
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64
Steps for Life: 1. Wake up and brush your teeth twice and use mouthwash.     Make sure your teeth are pearly white.     Floss so your teeth don't rot with grim. 2. Drop in some eyedrops,     so no one can see that you cried. 3. Choose your clothes.     Don't choose something that isn't name brand.     Don't choose something that's ugly or unflattering.     Wear your waist trainer so that your waist can be thin and your     stomach is flat. 4. Get your makeup together.     Wear the right color eyeshadow, make sure your lashes long enough,     make sure you choose the right color to match your outfit. 5. Pick the right shoes.     Choose the heels that are in season.     It doesn't matter if they aren't comfortable you have to wear them to     be cool. 6. Go to school     Go to school and suffer.     Hang out with the popular kids.     Be rude to other girls and criticize them for not having the money to     afford clothes like yours. 7. Come home.     Lift a few weights to keep your arms thin.     Swallow a nasty concoction and have dinner so you can rid of it. 8. Repeat for the rest of your life because you won't ever be good enough. To a girl, why is life about the size of your thighs? The thinness of your waist. The color of your eyes, The color of your skin. The flatness of your stomach The shape of your jaw. The length of your legs. The way you walk and whether or not you fall. They hid the pain. Because pain is beauty. And beauty was all that matters. The biggest goal is to be popular but to be popular you have to be liked. No one likes an unattractive girl. No one likes a girl who isn't pretty. To be popular, to awesome to other people, to be cool, You have to make yourself suffer from the pain that is beauty. You can't eat anything you want if you do you'll gain weight and you'll be fat. You can't eat all 3 meals because you'll get fat. Instead, you have to eat a bit for some energy but then force it all back up because too much food will ruin your flat stomach and no one likes a girl who's fat. You can't eat certain foods because it's messy and people see your face being a mess than say goodbye to your popularity because no one likes a messy girl. You can't join certain clubs and you can't get straight A's. This is because no one likes a brainiac girl or all the other fantastic words. You can't wear sweatpants if you aren't required too. Sweatpants aren't flattering and if no one likes you then neither should you. You will suffer in silence Because everyone thinks that you're fine. You have to follow a strict diet or else your popularity will die. No will see the cuts on your thighs because that's the only place they won't show. You can cut your shoulders, your wrist or stomach but people will see and think of you as a depressed emo and no one wants to be seen with that freak. Society has girls be trapped in a box where they follow the same horrible routine. Inspirational people say that the box is paper and you can just break it to be free. If the box is paper why am I so weak? Why can't I break it? Those inspirational people are wrong. The box isn't paper. It's stone.
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Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 4:00 PM UTC
Why is This Life to a Girl?
Steps for Life: 1. Wake up and brush your teeth twice and use mouthwash.     Make sure your teeth are pearly white.     Floss so your teeth don't rot with grim. 2. Drop in some eyedrops,     so no one can see that you cried. 3. Choose your clothes.     Don't choose something that isn't name brand.     Don't choose something that's ugly or unflattering.     Wear your waist trainer so that your waist can be thin and your     stomach is flat. 4. Get your makeup together.     Wear the right color eyeshadow, make sure your lashes long enough,     make sure you choose the right color to match your outfit. 5. Pick the right shoes.     Choose the heels that are in season.     It doesn't matter if they aren't comfortable you have to wear them to     be cool. 6. Go to school     Go to school and suffer.     Hang out with the popular kids.     Be rude to other girls and criticize them for not having the money to     afford clothes like yours. 7. Come home.     Lift a few weights to keep your arms thin.     Swallow a nasty concoction and have dinner so you can rid of it. 8. Repeat for the rest of your life because you won't ever be good enough. To a girl, why is life about the size of your thighs? The thinness of your waist. The color of your eyes, The color of your skin. The flatness of your stomach The shape of your jaw. The length of your legs. The way you walk and whether or not you fall. They hid the pain. Because pain is beauty. And beauty was all that matters. The biggest goal is to be popular but to be popular you have to be liked. No one likes an unattractive girl. No one likes a girl who isn't pretty. To be popular, to awesome to other people, to be cool, You have to make yourself suffer from the pain that is beauty. You can't eat anything you want if you do you'll gain weight and you'll be fat. You can't eat all 3 meals because you'll get fat. Instead, you have to eat a bit for some energy but then force it all back up because too much food will ruin your flat stomach and no one likes a girl who's fat. You can't eat certain foods because it's messy and people see your face being a mess than say goodbye to your popularity because no one likes a messy girl. You can't join certain clubs and you can't get straight A's. This is because no one likes a brainiac girl or all the other fantastic words. You can't wear sweatpants if you aren't required too. Sweatpants aren't flattering and if no one likes you then neither should you. You will suffer in silence Because everyone thinks that you're fine. You have to follow a strict diet or else your popularity will die. No will see the cuts on your thighs because that's the only place they won't show. You can cut your shoulders, your wrist or stomach but people will see and think of you as a depressed emo and no one wants to be seen with that freak. Society has girls be trapped in a box where they follow the same horrible routine. Inspirational people say that the box is paper and you can just break it to be free. If the box is paper why am I so weak? Why can't I break it? Those inspirational people are wrong. The box isn't paper. It's stone.
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60
I love the feeling of emptiness in my belly as I walk the streets hungry Stomach ****** in tight Ribcage exposed as I force my shoulders back My breathing strategic Thinness is all I’ve ever really wanted I crave it
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Mar 7, 2024
Mar 7, 2024 at 11:42 PM UTC
Hunger makes me happy
Let us pretend, beloved, that this is the skin you wore yesterday. Allow me to lick the salt from your lips and I’ll ignore the black dog who at night, stalks my fire escape and feasts upon the lull of a sleepless—sleep. The dog who drags me back from the cliffs of a steady breath and bites salt from my lips. I want to take this dog. I want to see her —your her— knot her fingers in its shabby fur, and flail beneath its jaw. So I can see the inside of her body— all thinness—a red delicacy. I want to see which vein you loved, so I can know for sure that you have been there: the muscle —a tendon— the tightening of how you were inside her. But I feel the bloom of your iris steal into the pound of my chest, so I forgive how these hands —broken hands— never tore through my hair. My pupils just fill with bowed heads and pleading wrists while the dog gnaws at the break of my ankles. And in this little moan of bloodied floor and sodden wood, the kiss of your mouth grazes my neck’s snap— your fingers trickle up my thigh into a little pool of Never Enough. You had tried to warn me about the time the power line snapped while all the birds were asleep— but the dog had torn my ears from me by then.
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Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013 at 12:15 PM UTC
I Am That Bird
The flight of life is so brief fragile vulnerable incredible The goldilocks zone so eloquently positioned, is her porridge to thick or thin? Hot or cold? It is this thickness and thinness that permits our being. Viscosity surrounds us with its turbulent beauty. Flight is everywhere. In the skies, in the seas. The fish fly gracefully climbing and diving swooping from side to side Our hearts squeeze and throb, ebbing blood as periodic as the planets Air floods our lungs, although sustaining binds us to such a small rock in such a large world The gravity of this holds us together while we struggle to fly beyond our bounds. -AM
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Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 1:09 AM UTC
Viscosity