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Chris Ott Dec 2011
i stopped in the crosswalk to light a cigarette
then continued on my way down the street
the cars were of no threat to running me over;
they've been still in the streets all day, a traffic
blockade of holiday proportions

and as i stare through every windshield into the
warmth and luxury of the car's interior, I see nothing
but looks of misery, boredom, a sense of stagnant souls

and i began to laugh and smile like it's my ******* birthday
and i smoke my cigarette and become the only thing traveling
down this four way mall highway full of automobiles and people

they roll down their tinted windows and pelt me with their trash,
their negativity, their wasted times, their  immobility and weight
and i begin to laugh harder, my smile lines stretching towards heaven.

merry christmas, shoppers!
merry christmas, chumps!
Chris Ott Dec 2011
intoxicated again.
holding in alcohol.
vomiting words.

we'll die from the medication.
i'm following your footsteps.
running the race you've already
won by five years, easy.

alcohol again.
vomiting intoxication.
holding in words.
Chris Ott Dec 2011
this will sound more offensive than I mean it.
knowing that, read at your own risk.

I do not need a big brother as
witness to my life from the sky.
I do not need a ominous figure
watching my every movement.
I am not vain enough to care
about some deity watching me
like a television set, like a rat in
a cage with three trillion others.
I do not need to feel connected to
something higher than myself,
something higher than you, love.
I do not need to shake hands with God,
for I have met love in all her forms.
and in that, I found my religion.
Chris Ott Dec 2011
keep reading those cue cards governor
keep living in your fake theatrical world
keep your facade of cleanliness and trust
keep SHOUTING your plastic christian ethics

just keep the last cowboy president in mind
the weak always prefer to live on in infamy anyways
Chris Ott Dec 2011
but, the fact that police are now
kicking, beating, arresting and bullying
american citizens who wish to make a
change only strengthens the fact that we
really need a ******* change, doesn't it?

or am i the only sane one left?
because that's a scarier thought.
Chris Ott Dec 2011
i'll wait for you in libraries
hiding out with all the other
dead romantic writers and
their sorrowful, longing words

i'll wait for you in the night
wandering the dark streets
looking though empty avenues
for any glimpse of your soul

i'll wait for you in a flower shop
in the middle of downtown Portland
where you pick out any combination
of flowers, and still be more pleasant

where do you wait for me, love?
Chris Ott Dec 2011
My most monstrous fear that eats at me
(like a mechanic devours his rare, ****** steak)
is that one day I'll wake up and be normal
(normal as mothers publicly yelling at ADD sons)
that I'll lose my gifts, or any real form of expression
(like the misguided lawyer working on Thanksgiving)
that I'll be another faceless statistic in a fat, thick crowd
(normal as ignoring the gifts we've each inherited)
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