John Edward Smallshaw

John Edward Smallshaw 29m

'turned out nice again'
a catchphrase back in the days when catchphrases made you laugh.

George Formby
he with the ukelele
or to be more accurate
the banjolele
was a daily tonic
and much better for you
than going back to the quack
to pay your five shillings
for some useless pills.

I'm guessing he's still leaning on a lamppost
somewhere
outside a Chinese Laundry
chatting with Mr Wu.

John Edward Smallshaw 21h

Untitled

Slippers, a pair of socks, and a fukin KitKat for gawds sake.

Happy Father's Day to me.
haha

Hoping you have better luck when out shoplifting.

Note: This is not an invitation to break the law; we leave that up to the politicians.

John Edward Smallshaw 1d

Previously

Sunday flies in on a broomstick
ready to pick a fight
and I'm in the thick of it
getting pig sick of it
what the hell happened
last night?

There's mail for the present incumbent
known to be rather a dumb gent
he just sent for security
and they aim to get rid of me

they'll probably hit my ear

hah.

John Edward Smallshaw 1d

Twisted

Hey you,
Yeah you,
corkscrew,

you don't need missiles
to go ballistic.

I think those boys just like the noise
when things go bang.

It's the Devil and his designs
a sign of the times
and of things to come
and Kingdom Come has been and gone to a planet far away and seen it all before anyway,

on our ownsome
like dogs with a bone
and some
with a glacial stare

we wanted a peace pipe
they sent us a standpipe

it's the Devil and his designs
turns a war into rhymes
and sets fire to the night.

I might not sleep
but I think that I'll live.

John Edward Smallshaw 1d

Shower time

There's a lot to be said
about
not saying a lot.

Oxymoron
washes whiter
makes loose tongues
a little tighter.

Keeping your own counsel
is far better than keeping
that lazy lot in the local
council.

Can't smash a burger
or an egg
because
that's considered violent
behaviour,
so now
we must stroke the yolk
and pat the burger

and is hair conditioner
only conditioning your hair
or is your mind at risk?

Jeezus
very soon
we won't be able to ****
without first
sending out a weather warning
and then
they'll tax us for adding to
global warming.

We are done for
but the lunatics will
always run for
Prime Minister or
President

I guess it's meant to be.

John Edward Smallshaw 2d

Puffing Billy

Bed at ten
woke at two
wondering who
was tapping on the window
luckily for them
it was only the rain
again,

welcome to the Summer.

Feeling a bit ropey
some may say *****
but no
definitely ropey
and
I didn't even have a drink
unless H2O counts

She says,
it does,
look at your bank balance
at the end of the month
Thames Water takes a healthy chunk.

At times, it could be cheaper to get
drunk,

the tap
is but another trap from which there is
no escape.

Not being negative and only being positive
I crackle with electricity,

Saturday may drain me
working
oh poor me
but surely
tomorrow
I'll be off?

not a chance.

2d

The last Poet

If it were us

If it were us we'd be screaming and crying
Helpless and afraid, alone barely surviving

We would be screaming and crying, our children are dying

Helpless and afraid, our homes now our graves
No aid on its way because of the blockades

If it were us we'd be screaming and crying
Our children are dying
Our children are dying...

They say they'd get help if they had white skin and blue eyes
But they don't so they're dying

Yet they carry on smiling, hope in their eyes

Aid is on it way but it's not enough
A group of 12 so brave, so tough
Made of the best of us
but it's not enough

If it were us we would be screaming, we would be crying

Our children are dying

If it were us would we still be smiling?

Free Palestine 🇵🇸 📢 ⛵

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