I want to leave who I was behind
Free from my solitary achievement
The only story you care about
The thing on your mind while you look me up and down
My pain is the object of your attention
I will never tell you all my secrets
You’ve never deserved to know and it’s far too late for you to change
I want the peace I am owed
I want the silence I crave
I want the freedom you’ve taken for granted
I want to leave who I was behind and step into a new chapter
A story known only to me
Unread by outsiders
Unedited by critics
I will never tell you all my secrets but I will tell you this
One day I will leave you behind
My solitary achievement.
Do not underestimate my loyalty
I will defend proudly
I will protect fiercely
I will love dearly
I will honour tenderly
I will cherish joyfully
I will appreciate always
I will hold tightly
I will listen carefully
I will care for
I will celebrate
Do not underestimate these words
When the pin dropped in our little glass house, all the walls shattered around us spilling secrets.
The end came one step closer.
You were the pin
I was the house
I am shattered.
The end is one step closer
Bones b e n d at my will
Today I will create the most powerful
Unstoppably brave truly wise creature the world has ever had the privilege to gaze upon.
I will call it
T H E Y
A tailspin of chaos
I am always in motion
Whirling so fast my bones leap and bound
I have no interest in stopping
One must be quick if one wants to expand like I do
I hope you never read anything I’ve written.
Strangers reading my thoughts is one thing but you reading my heart is another,
Talking about you comes as easy to me as breathing.
That scares me.
I’m not sure if there’s a way to say go away without you leaving.
I just need you out of my head for a little while.
I thought tonight would be a good time to tell you that I’m queer.
I’m not really sure quite yet but I’m sure about how I feel so that’s cool.
I’m telling you this because it’s been on my mind a lot,
hopefully this is all temporary because constantly turning around to find a new question makes me dizzy and you know I don’t fall gracefully.
I feel like I'm living life in the absolute middle.
Like seeing the life you dream of living from the backseat but not being sure how to take the wheel
You know what I mean?
Would I feel more alive without the heaviness that hangs off my chest or is life about staying weighted to the ground?
If I could see into the future I’d peek at who I am in a year.
I think that would be fun,
Maybe I would have things figured out then.
Do you remember asking me about who I’m attracted to that one time in the car?
I still can't answer that.
I can’t even figure out if I was born in the right body most of the time so how am I to know who I’m attracted to if I can’t even see what’s in the mirror?
How am I supposed to figure any of this out?
I feel like a walking question mark.
Anyways I'll be home in a bit
Call me back
I love you.