"apologise" poems
I feel the need to apologise for the way that I am.
I have no control, as if I was a computer programme.
I’m sorry that the slightest thing can shift my mood,
I’m sorry I can be impulsive and have a bad attitude.
This inappropriate anger is not intentional
and I swear to god
I know it’s unacceptable.
My friendships are a rollercoaster,
it’s practically bipolar.
One second I’m all lovey dovey
and the other second it will be as if you were never my buddy.
This is who I am and I hate it.
I’m sorry I’m like this,
I’m sorry I see no bliss.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 12:54 PM UTC
Don't think to control me
I dare you, think again
You want a gentle lover?
I'm sorry, I am the fury
Never attempt to tame me
Because my flames will burn
I'll strip away at your soul
Careful for what you yearn
I'm no gentleman from books
This beast will tear you apart
This lust can never be stopped
Because it will take you, hard
If you're looking for sweet love
I apologise, that's not what I give
For my punishment will be harsh
I'll give you a lesson, on how to live
Don't think to control me
I dare you, think again
You want a gentle lover?
I'm sorry, I am the fury
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 3:55 PM UTC
it's cold and dark and calm outside
so you make sure that i'm tucked up tight
but i need fresh air so the window is open ajar
whilst there in the corner lays a battered guitar
i'm high as hell so you carried me home
and wrapped me up into a bed of your own
you throw a lumpy mattress by the guitar on your floor
and apologise in advance for the fact that you snore
because i can't even remember my name
may give the green light to most, to see me as 'fair game'
my hair is a mess and my clothes are askew
but that doesn't seem to matter to you
i'm taken aback as you toss me a shirt
you try to stifle your laugh but i catch you smirk
as i try to escape from the clutch of my dress
i hear a laugh which you fail to suppress
i wrestle your shirt with my limbs in a tangle
you yank it over my head, for which i am thankful
i wriggle free from the blanket and sit up cross legged
as you fling yourself down at the foot of your bed
you tell me you've just got a text from my mother
who says she trusts me with you and no other
and that you are under very strict instructions
to keep me away from all teenage destruction
it's 1.30am and my thoughts are cotton wool
but our bottle of ***** is still three quarters full
my eyes spy the battered guitar in the room
and i beg you to play me my favourite tune
an undeniably slow start as you mess up the chords
and ramble on about how i'm probably bored
but my eyes fix on yours with an encouraging grin
and as you continue to play, goosebumps rise on my skin
and as you place the battered guitar back down
you sarcastically ask whether i'm happy now
the buzz of my body and the smile on my face
shows that here, happiness is truly the case
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 6:17 PM UTC
It's funny how you apologise for slight and minimal accidents,
but you don't give a **** about creating explosions of Hell.
You're so ironic that your names could be the definition.
I'd rather you'd have accidently nudged me
than destroy my every thought.
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 5:09 PM UTC
Don't look at me that way
You can't always have your way
No I'm not someone you slay
And no you can't ask how much I weigh
Don't say the place where I belong is the kitchen
Just because I am a woman.
Don't stare at me secretly from the window
Don't think you can impress me you ******
Don't think you could ever be my shadow
Always behind me trying to follow
Don't think my courage can't be summoned
Just because I am a woman.
Don't think you can sit in the empty seat next to me in the bus
What , do you think I can't create a fuss ?
Don't think you can just touch me and run
It shows you're scared and what makes you think you have won?
Don't you think it's unfair to continue female foeticide
What makes you think you're the one to decide?
How is it an honour, when it is honour killing ?
Why can't you be the one to understand her feelings?
No , I don't think you can treat me like vermin
Just because I am a woman.
So how about you show us some respect
And your actions , you began to inspect
And how about you treat us as your equal
I'm pretty sure that is legal
So how about you apologise honestly, it will be forgiven
Oh yeah, that's because I am a woman.
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 15, 2016 at 7:14 AM UTC
I am so sorry.
For every time I hurt you..
For every cruel word I’ve ever said to you..
For not seeing what you needed most..
For not being kind to you as much as everyone else..
For every tear you have wasted..
For every time I stepped on your heart..
For every time I didn’t believe in you..
For every time I didn’t listen to you.
I am so sorry.
For ripping you apart..
For destroying the beautiful things in you..
For always making you pay the price..
And I apologise for all the wrongdoings I caused you!
Forgive this fallible human that is you.
I am so sorry.
Sep 21, 2019
Sep 21, 2019 at 8:21 PM UTC
First things first
I'd like to apologise
I'm sorry I'm not the good Indian girl I was bred to be
I'm sorry I don't make round rotis
I'm sorry that the tongue I use to speak punjabi is broken and hides in my mouth unused until desperately needed
I'm sorry that I don't cook and clean efficiently enough to be wifey material
Sorry that I love who I love and don't hate who I was told to
Sorry that I can't follow gods blindly and not try to sneak back stage to see their shining gold adornments and blue body paints and multiple arms in full and bare glory and scandal
I'm sorry that I'm actually not sorry for any of this
I'm sorry that these are false and empty apologies
I am unapologetically whole
A human not just a race
A female not a trust fund or business transaction
I filter out the good parts of the culture I'm from and the ones I identify with
I'll wear docs under my saari no apologies
I'll grind on dancefloors and do the best Bhangra dance you'll ever see unashamedly
Hareems and hoodies
Bindies and pin up eyeliner
Hedonism and head in the clouds
My ambition is Ambedkar untouchable
My drive is a salt march surging silently non violently through cities
My hometown pride is built in concrete and rickshaw dust,
Prejudice and Bollywood lust
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 1:25 PM UTC
I know today the world celebrates you
But in my heart, your festival plays all season
To craft songs in your praise is honour
And this wordsmith is honorable aplenty
I know I'll never know the pain
The way societies have pushed you when
You blinded them with your radiance
Now enlightened they can only apologise
Justice is the cry!
Tell me it is not my lone heart
I do not strive to appease,
it is just what every woman deserves
Even if I lend my hand to
just the ones close to my heart
They say intelligence comes from one's experience,
and wisdom from those of others'
Wise I have become,
so I pledge to be better than my fathers
Mar 8, 2019
Mar 8, 2019 at 8:29 AM UTC
Why are my heroes less real than yours? I'm so **** sick of that stupid cliche "cops and soldiers, and firefighters up up and away." None of them were there for me in any way.
I don't give a crap if you won't follow or if I never see a "like" or a "favorite" again.
God almighty couldn't stop my pen.
So why are my heroes less real then yours?
Isn't god just as real as mine?
So shut the hell up and get back in line.
you know who was there the day I couldn't stand.
Not your heroes playing wars in the sand.
Not your cops, who were off killing kids.
No fire here, turn a deaf ear.
The ones who were there for me on that day. Was a hero in red with horns on his head. A man all in black who dressed like a bat. A solider that stood for what a nation aspires. And a immigrant from who knows where.
They taught me my morals from birth this I swear. They taught me right. They taught me wrong. I don't give a **** if you think I'm wrong.
I will write comics as bright as the sun. I will save worlds with words. I won't apologise, don't insult the fire in my eyes.
I've never questioned to what you aspired. I never met your heroes before but I respect the story's of yours in the war. Of cops who helped kids who didn't have a dime, of firefighters saving people in time.
so leave mine alone they saved plenty they have. Even if its only the life of a depressed lonely lad.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 8:49 PM UTC
My mind is full of tirades
A tempest fills my brain
I've lost a part of myself in love before
How gullible I've been.
Would you rather I pour my heart out?
Spill my passion let me bleed?
I apologise. **** myself in front of your eyes.
Take off my mask so you can see where my vulnerability lies.
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 7:29 PM UTC
I want to apologise.
Broken relationships, I shall eulogise.
To those I know (or, knew);
Forgive my absence when you needed a warm caress and a hug,
But instead got frostbite, a torrent of snow or dew.
I am sorry for drawing a sword
When you were hoping for an olive branch;
I can be as thorny as an all-knowing lord.
I wish my heart was limitless,
And my kindness infinite –
I dream of love that is fearless,
And of joyousness completely exquisite.
Yet, that is not who I am –
I can be a calm ocean or a tempest,
A total commotion, or peacefully at rest.
I can be enigmatic and reserved,
Or, I can be charismatic, if the mood is reversed.
We are not good or bad;
We can be lewd and strikingly mad,
Or cunningly shrewd, or maybe sad.
We are the yin and the yang;
We all tend to sin, to our demons we hang.
We are objects of pure fascination,
In constant fluctuation,
A recalcitrant reconciliation.
So, I will say it one more time –
Look into my eyes, see through my guise.
I apologise to those who had no shoulder to cry on
And sought mine, when I was not there.
I hope you’re fine, and that someone showered you with care.
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 10:25 AM UTC
To live is the rarest thing in the world. I agree with that statement. To live means to have life or to be alive, but how many people actually do that?
"Life is a crazy ride and nothing is guaranteed.", said Eminem. So many people in today's day and age have gone through situations, and almost always unexpectedly. The impact of the situation has left many of them with no zest for life, and they end up simply existing. Its pretty sad if you think about it though. Where some of us are living a zealous life, amped with motivation, others are like clouds, just drifting by, day after day.
Well, I think that's the problem, I think that is to blame for so many things. People who only exist have no goals for their lives, they become negative and have no hope whatsoever. They become so pessimistic that they sometimes get the better of the optimistic. That shouldn't be happening. I can confidently say that those who live to just exist, are the most negative in our population. Everybody suffers and everybody hurts but some of us have acknowledged the fact that circumstances are temporary, so why should we let it get the better of us.
Life is way too short to just go by existing. Doing that is like making food that won't get eaten or buying a phone that you won't use, its pointless. Existing instead of living is almost insulting your creator. Each of us were created for a special purpose, and merely existing is not one of those. I believe that just existing is a waste. So many of us have lost friends and Family members, that we would give anything to see again. You have a life, they don't. Make use of it.
Remember that you were only give one life to live, but if you do it right, once is enough. Also, always know that if you love life, it will love you back. Living your life to the best of your ability can only ever have a positive effect on your life. You were given this life because you're strong enough to live it.
Take chances. Tell the truth. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone randomn. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologise. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Regret nothing. Most importantly, live life.
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 25, 2013 at 12:55 AM UTC
This is our blitz, puppydog, I said,
dragging him away from the whizzbangs
echoing green and purple off shopfronts.
My Chuchundra scuttled ground-bellied
from fallen ******* bags spilling guts
like casualties of war
and hoodlums tremendous in commando gear
who set off peonies and chrysanthemums
before charging triumphant down alleyways.
We go home. I’m happy to leave these heroes
the soda from the Catherine wheels,
and the drizzle, for which London has yet to apologise.
Oct 22, 2011
Oct 22, 2011 at 6:51 AM UTC
i wonder if you sometimes think of me - not the way i think of you,
i know that you don't see me the way that i see you
(like you're my sun and like you hung the stars,
like you're the most beautiful thing i have ever seen)
but i sometimes wonder if i sometimes cross your mind,
i wonder if my face pops up behind your eyes,
and if you wonder if that is because I've thought of you
(if that saying was true, you would only be seeing me);
i wonder if what you see me as, and if you know that
every time i look at you, my heart wants to run away from me,
i wonder if you can see it in my blush, or if my friends have told you.
i wonder if you've ever thought what it would be like
to be in love with me. it's all i do every day, after all,
(or rather every night) to think about what we could be,
when i know, deep within me, that we never could.
i wonder if you sometimes think of me, or if
i am as far from your mind as that one boy was from mine,
the one who told me that he loved me, the one i told
that you cannot love someone from afar, not truly.
i have tried to apologise to him, but he has moved away,
and now i am him and you are me, except you are
so much more perfect than anything that i could ever be.
i know you'll never think of me the way i think of you,
i know that you could never love me the way that i do you,
i know that you could never look at me like i am
the most beautiful thing this planet has ever seen,
and i know that you are an unrequited dream.
but i wonder if you sometimes think of me - not the way i think of you,
but just at all. for all the hope i don't allow myself, i still hope you do.
cs
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 6:19 PM UTC
ᗩIᑎᕼᗩᖇᗩ
~ ⚪♫⚪ ~
Ainhara is standing in her Queen's room,
staring at the door that leads to
her chamber
'My Lady...' she thinks worried before
looking at her reflection. Her mistress had
surprised her a gift of a finely made dress
of rose-silk, making her a flowing vision
in blue.
~ ⚪♫⚪ ~
The dress is suitable for the bright and
hot morning, light, airy and delicate
with one shoulder that is heavily beaded
with peacock feathers; the slit reveals
her slender legs, the hip appliqued with
the white lilies of her Queen's Kingdom,
and simple flat shoes.
~ ⚪♫⚪ ~
Her fiery locks are pinned into her usual
bun. It is then that she hears a gentle
knock on the door which she approaches
and opens.
"Did you not hear the command of the
Queen Mother?" Ainhara gently hisses,
"Queen Lyn is not to be disturbe-"
"I know, Lady Ainhara, I apologise,"
a guard whispers as Ainhara stands in
the hallway.
~ ⚪♫⚪ ~
"How is Queen Lyn?"
*'Drained and exhausted. She has not slept
well in three days...* "The Queen is very busy.
She is determined to complete the tasks set to
her." Ainhara sighs. "Esshi is overseeing her
meals currently. Did her mother not say all
matters of state should be brought to her?"
"Yes she did, but the shipments are set
to arrive today. And she said that once
they arrive, I am to notify you.
They have made way to the Western
Entrance."
~ ⚪♫⚪ ~
"I see. Well, let us see to it."
"Yes," The guard bows and leads the
way with Ainhara at his heels.
As she passes the open stain-glassed
windows, the cool breeze hit her,
making her dress flutter behind her
and the beadery shine and glitter.
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 4:47 PM UTC
They say pride comes before a fall
Which I do not believe at all,
For how would we progress unless
We can take pride in our success?
'Tis pride in success I believe
That motivates us to achieve.
So whether they be big or small
Celebrate your achievements all!
Take pride in any job well done
And apologise to no one!
Nov 17, 2016
Nov 17, 2016 at 6:42 AM UTC
I had told her about my pin badges -
It was that kind of intimacy.
I had written poems about her -
It was that kind of intimacy.
She returns with another present,
In fact, more than one,
Despite being a woman scorned -
It was that kind of intimacy.
One, a postcard, to return my gesture,
A memory we shared together -
It was that kind of intimacy.
Two, a pin, she travelled to find,
Searching to fix something that
Was never broken.
To her, this was a failure,
To me, it was
Our kind of intimacy.
And three, a notebook,
Because she knows what I love,
And that words lie deep inside of me,
Screaming to come out.
I write this to her to apologise
For being a fool, and to thank her
For her undying encouragement
And her endless inspiration
And her kind, warm words -
A beautiful friendship married
By the endless embers of
Written words -
Our kind of intimacy.
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016 at 6:37 AM UTC
I don't get it
What the actual **** you want from me
Talk! Say it!
You don't have to ignore me
You don't have to talk sarcasticly
Be true! Make it clear!
So I do understand
The actual thing you want from me
If I did wrong so I can apologise
If I am behaving bad so I can improvise
But don't ignore me
Dont make me feel useless
I have heart too
I have feelings
But sometimes this silly mind of mine can be tactless
It can be hard for me to catch up on things if you did't tell
Because what seems right to me might seems wrong to you
So say it! Talk!
I am a human too
I am not perfect.
Aug 9, 2014
Aug 9, 2014 at 8:56 AM UTC
these songs are dedicated to those hours late into the night; when the sky gravitates towards the end of the colour spectrum, in which the hues collide, to create an illusion as mesmerising as the look in her eyes when he smiles. because the way the notes grazed her ear drums, as they lift themselves hazily off of the sheet, is one way to describe how it feels when she hears his voice; his laugh encompassing her whole being, enclosing her in a tight embrace.
i sincerely apologise to all the songs i've ruined and stained with the ****** memory of you.
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 3:48 PM UTC
So as much as this Drama does persist
Your Prisoned Warning tugs at my Cool Shirt
Asking me to take Prudence and desist
In bashing Silence to where it would hurt
Now engraved in Copper I will make Clear:
For all my Writ Plagues I Apologise,
Deep in use plug Buds to that Trumpet's Ear
If Empathy a Letter in disguise
This my Friend's Spy; Deploy to high pursuit
Waving that Placard in belated claim
Which tastes folly less on a nutty boot
And Reprimand stamped on his just Remain.
Such I learned that Friendship's Best takes no Force
I Follow my Heart; Now you Follow yours.
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013 at 2:04 AM UTC
Press,
Hammer,
String,
Vibrate,
Hear,
Press again,
Wait for mistake,
Prepare for complaints,
Apologise,
Apply mute,
Press softer,
Hammer,
String,
Vibrations muffled,
No resonance,
No sustain,
The keys just as solid,
Still heavy,
Less inviting,
Forced away,
Stand,
Close lid,
Turn,
Leave.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 2:21 AM UTC
i write about you
but you do not exist
or maybe you do;
maybe you do and i'm just talking to myself
maybe you're just another part of me that i hate so much
i have to talk to you,
i have to
punish you
because i know i shouldn't like the way it feels-
and i don't; but i keep coming back for more anyway
i amend: i know i shouldn't be addicted to this hatred
you tear me open and pull at my frayed edges
so that i split apart and lose my functionality - and i let you
then i let you thread me back together once more
you build my body with thicker wool each time, hoping that
one day
i'll be warmer, and harder to unravel
and you sew my edges with fragile promises of a better future
as breakable as the metal pin that bends between your crafty fingers
the materials started off so colourful at first, like rainbows
maybe that's why i'm so queer
though over time you started toning down my personality.
as my depression embroidered me, my sexuality dulled
purple and black and white and grey
you manipulate my patterns.
some nights i sleep through, others i don't sleep at all
and some nights my strings are stretched so taut across the nightmares
that one small pull will undo me
i am ripped apart then made into patchwork;
there are white seams over my arms
you call me a work in progress, damaged goods
to be fixed, to be mended:
you can't afford replacements
that doesn't stop you from looking
wishing you could upgrade me into something more,
something better
and every time i fall apart again
i'm left itching with apologies
but never to you; i never say sorry for hurting you
my only regrets are to those who become collateral damage.
i do not apologise to you
because you are me, and i am you
you are a part of me
and i hate you as much as i hate myself.
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 3:39 PM UTC
My worst enemy and tireless companion
finally came to my door last night.
As I slept away the time of day
And killed my poor friend Time
He traveled closer to my home.
As I slowly cowered in the face of fear
And realized my mistake too late
As I chose to make a silly choice
He quietly opened the door.
Shame came in but didn't stop
And with every tear that welled up inside
He crawled in hot into my cheeks.
As the salty drops burned away my skin
He then moved on down to my throat
And choked me up till air was gone.
I gagged and shook, begging him to go
Openly admitting my sin
But Shame knew he could do more
And as I watched my world crumble
He eagerly attacked my heart.
As he dripped down to the hearth
He triumphed with his final mutation.
The pain of Shame is nothing
Next to that of his brother Humiliation.
There, in the privacy of my soul
He slaughtered my Pride with a blunted blade
As Sloth cowered in the corner.
When the room was red he finally paused
With a smile on his face at the lesson he left.
As he exited Responsibility came in instead
And from the door watched with sad eyes
Waiting for me to rise and finally apologise.
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 12:34 PM UTC