I'm constantly worrying that she might go off a scurrying to maybe light a **** with a boy at the dead of night I want it to stop but she has her rights.

She even said that she wants it to stop every ******* date ends up in a flop and heartache is the only thing she cops off the top off all celebrity props.

I want to end this and listen to music, I'm not feeling this, but she's feeling his ****, I'm laying here in bed feeling even more sick, after 50 pills gave my heart a jump kick. Jump start, jump back, pulled apart, from the crack, torn in half, called it all, from the start, I've been mauled, been attacked, filled my cart, with a stack, of true love, so my heart, will rise above, your petty ****, fill this pit, with my grit, but your fake skit, completely outweighs it.

It makes sense on a stupid level, when your brains made of ******* metal, spilling tea out the mouth like a kettle, moving down south so you can meddle, with the floor, and maybe pour, the last bit of essence out of your core, standing back up is to much of a chore, I'm done with this **** so walk out the ******* door.

The 168,
Departed late,
A character trait,
Of public transit,
So here I sit,
On this black bench,
In the hot hot sun,
The bus threw a wrench,
Into my fun,
The longer I wait,
The more I think,
The bus won’t come,
Within the next blink,
This is my life,
Without a car,
Without a wife,
I’m going far,
With my girlfriend,
After I mend,
Our broken understandings,
And premarital demandings,
Now the bus is here,
And I bust a rhyme,
And I bus around,
From time to time,
I have to go,
But I’ll be back,
Don’t do drugs kids,
Stay away from crack.

Hearing sirens and sad music,
The worlds gone and I'm acoustic,
I live for the amusement,
Of getting picked then I refuse it,
Cause I'm the master of my own domain,
Cause I chose to ride on this ****** up train,
Which puts all of these messed up thoughts in my brain,
For you it's called life, for me it's called fame.

We like hanging out together,
Even in the stormy weather,
Riding bikes, holding hands,
Walking in the hot sands,
A little kiss now and then,
From two little tiny men,
Who only walk upside down,
With a crazy looking frown,
They are to be buds,
And #1 studs,
They always make eachother laugh,
Even when they’re doing their math,
Funny, funny, hahaha all the way,
That’s how it went for the rest of the day.

A
Big
Complication:
Dealing
Emotions
For
Great
Heaps
Inasmuch
Jea­lousy
Kicks
Low
Medially
Now
Over
Passion
Quickly
Running
Strands­
Triggering
Unexpected
Voices
X-Ray
Yields
Zest

Actually feeling like death is better,
Better than letting her borrow my sweater,
Cold but she needs the warmth more and pleasure,
Doesn’t come easy when we’re talking Heather,
Endlessly flowing love has nowhere to go,
Fire and water that will burn and will flow,
Getting pain and repose all in one blow,
How do you regulate love? no one knows,
Infidelity fills the atmosphere,
Just like how the mug and all of your beer,
Kills you over time quickly drawing you near,
Little voices, the insanity premier,
More drugs to drown the drastic discomfort,
No way you know how much I have suffered,
Open the blinds but keep emotions covered,
Painfully black and white out the colors of,
Quirky emotions that fall off the shelf,
Remind yourself that nobody can help,
So you end up understanding that the self,
Tortures you and you can’t blame anyone else,
Under pressure and stress twenty-four seven,
Violence seeping out pores till’ I’m deafened,
Woke-wise so I won’t make it to heaven,
Xenophobe so no change cause depression,
Yields surprising results in the face of,
Zipped up introverts in the place of poets.

Roses can be any color,
Violets are not blue,
You are one dumb *******,
From this point of view.

Why can't I remember simple words and phrases for tests and quizzes, yet I can remember almost every conversation we have had in the last four months. I have unintentionally memorized all of your hobbies and favorites. This was a surprising, yet amazing perk to getting to know you and fall in love with you.

I wanted to be a better artist, so I posted this wish on a few social media platforms. I was just getting it out in the open thinking that nobody would respond. You responded. You told me that we could meet up some time and practice your preferred art style, which is drawing animals. We made plans and set a date. I texted you on the chosen date and got a response the next morning saying that you were sorry for not responding sooner. You didn't have internet. We tried making plans a second time and the exact same thing happened. Yet again, you didn't have internet. At this point, I just thought that you didn't want to see me and I accepted that. One day, me and my ex-friend Gavin were walking around, going from neighborhood to neighborhood, just talking about life. Reminiscing in the good memories and troubles of the past. Eventually, we got bored of talking and he suggested that we go somewhere. This somewhere was your house. I didn't realize that we were walking towards your house at the time. Once we got to your house, I noticed you sitting in the back of your fathers truck while you had a few friends inside and your entire family eating dinner together at the dinner table. You seemed like a lonely teenager. You confirmed this thought after telling me multiple times in the future that you wanted me to come over and hang out, because of that dreadful loneliness. I came over at least twice every week and that lasted for a good two and a half months. From the first glance, I noticed your beauty. From your first words, I noticed your refined charm. You gave me a sort of cancer every time I came over. Ever time you touched me, the cancer would diminish and there would only be an elegant light radiating from the both of us. Then, when I would leave, the cancer would grow and pain me. This was only the beginning of my painful, yet joyous love for you.

I fell in love with you, because you drew me in. You, at one point literally, took me by the wrist to a place that nobody would find us and showed me the love you were capable of giving. Just not being able to see you and enjoy your presence was an extreme pain. I didn't think that this pain could get any worse. But of course, I was wrong and the pain grew immensely. You found someone else to give your love to. I was old news. Onto the next. You still had a bit of human in you. There was a small part of you that didn't want me to parish. You didn't want to completely stop avoiding me. So, you just started hanging out with me before school like I wouldn't notice the decline in how much time we were spending together.

I'm not mad. I'm not even sad. These emotions want to be set free and rile up a storm, but I would rather stay numb. When you're feeling lonely and don't have your boyfriend there to eradicate the loneliness present, I will be there in a snap. When you're hungry and I have stocked snacks in my bag for Wednesdays, because I can't order school lunches on Wednesdays, because Wednesday's are half-days and everybody has the same lunch on half-days, meaning that I would have to sit down and eat in the presence of you and your boyfriend... which I'm not going to do... I'll give you my Wednesday meal because your comfort is more important than my livelihood. When I buy two hundred dollar tickets for me and my friend Gavin to see a YouTuber we really like, and I find out you like the YouTuber too, I'll tell my friend Gavin that I'm taking a girl with me and take you instead even though I told him half a year ago that he was going with me. That's why I put an 'ex-' before friend while mentioning him earlier, because in the process of doing this, he said that I was a ******* ***** and he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I don't mind, because your smile during the concert was more than enough to light up my days for weeks after the event. When you're wanting to walk with me and you're walking slow because gym class made you sore, and I'm walking fast because I have crippling anxiety and all I want to do is get the **** out of this highly populated school... I'll slow down and walk at your pace. When Satan comes knocking at your ******* bedroom door and asks you to **** one and save one, one being me and the other being your boyfriend, I will gladly run to your house and jump on Satan's blade so you don't have to make any decisions.

No matter what the circumstance, realistic or not, I desire your happiness above everything else.

I love you...

People can try,
Then they can fail,
When people die,
They will turn pale,
The higher you climb,
The harder it hails,
Words fill my rhyme,
Wind fills my sails.

Can't think about hanging out with friends,
When I'm with them and bonds can not mend,
I have to pretend everything is fine,
If they ask me how I am, I have to lie,
A broken heart is too hard to explain,
A feeling, not a word, nothing that plain,
I feel the force of a tsunami and all you see is rain,
Now I must draw blood, because I'm feeling this kind of pain.

You are the only thing that crosses my mind,
But hey, that's fine.
I'll play in the pain and use a laugh and a smile,
But only for a while.

One will cut to feel something that is real,
And intense because you leave me in suspense,
When I can't feel you and I don't know what to do,
And I'm having withdraws, *****, get a ******* clue,
You can't just subdue a man and make him love you,
Then throw him away and go on to someone new,
But I guess you are allowed to do you, that's true,
So give me your fever, inject me with the flue.

You are the only thing that crosses my mind,
But hey, that's fine.
I'll play in the pain and use a laugh and a smile,
But only for a while.

You make me sick to my stomach,
And I really wish I wasn't,
Stuck in this hormonal mindset,
I haven't found my way out yet,
I can't go to sleep anymore,
When I'm thinking about a *****,
That has swept me off my feet,
And let me fall on my back,
Only feel her heat when she's,
Launching a full blown attack.

You are the only thing that crosses my mind,
But hey, that's fine.
I'll play in the pain and use a laugh and a smile,
But only for a while.

I end these off with an I love you,
Or there's nothing I wouldn't do,
But now I'm done with that stuff,
I'm ending this abrupt because I've had enough.

All is fair in love and war,
For I can covet a vile *****,
While she covers illusionary beauty,
At the brothel, her putrid store.

All is fair in war and love,
For that arrow that rose above,
Touched Gods unscathed tongue,
And redirects towards the son.

All is fair in love and war,
For an apple that sits,
Rots to the core,
But an apple that's bit,
Is that of no more,
So rot or sin,
Like kin before.

All is fair in war and love,
For when push, turns to hug,
Turns to stab, turns to shove,
Turns to turning in the grave,
Which thou hath dug,
Which thou hath paved,
Over to clave,
Death from life,
What's left is strife,
What's right is to shrug.

Being alone doesn't scare me until I feel the elating presence of another individual.
The fear of being separate creates undesirable and painful attraction.
The closeness must be mental and physical.
Joy in addition and misery in subtraction.

Frightful ******* aching feeling,
Fleetly filling till' it's full,
Soon to smack the central ceiling,
When she pushes, then I will pull,
Pull her right back into my arms,
That is right where she's meant to be,
Metaphorically, so no harm,
Will ever come to her or me,
Avoidance will heal,
Getting closer helps,
Avoidance will hurt,
Getting closer pains,
Duality exists,
And life persists,
Always a good side and a bad side,
And life goes, so live, I insist.

Anxiety ******* tearing up inside of me. ***** ******* **** with some *** stained cavities and now shes coming onto me entirely. I should be like finally, but instead the anxious brain of mine avoids the blankets and gravitates towards the rhyme cause reality... what the **** is reality? My extended ****** up morality, apprehending the shortness of mortality or all these sexualities?
He, she, they, them.
See me hock phlegm.
Maybe stock them.
Lay low till' ten.
And then when,
They stop,
My pen cap,
Pops off,
Stabs lead into the head of the said ***, already wishing they were dead, but the use of a mag would cause attention, so I'm carrying a handbag full of pens. This is my pencil pushing, pen pushing straight into the gay neck, rushing to **** the wreck of a man and get paid through bills or a check again.

From my anxiety to killing gays, cause I'm willing to get lost in my ways of letting my mind wander, even though I kind of wonder why the gays were on my mind. The ***** that broke my heart was bi, but that's fine. I got nothing against you, unless you hurt me or the ones I love. You get two feet up your *** at once if you harm or speak bad about any of us.

yeah, there's no problem. i'm cool. i'm alright. you're fine. no need to plague your thoughts with me.
<decoding>
yeah, there's NO problem. I'M Cool. I'm alRight. You're fIne. No need to plague your thouGhts with me.
<decoding>
yeah, there's problem. ool. 'm alight. ou're fne. o need to plague your thouhts with me.
<decoding>
NO, I'M CRYING.

I never go in for it,
I always let you,
Next time I will explore it,
Or nah, forget you,
But still, will you come closer?
I still need your love,
Today you are the grocer,
That gives me the drug,
With your smug face,
Hug laced with a snug waste,
It's distasteful and fake,
But cures the withdrawal,
Either way I'll come to you, stumble, and fall,
In ***, crumble, and stall,
Half drunk, half high, off the wall,
Shrunk down, dry out, then I crawl,
Back to you every ******* time...

I bathe in oil,
And lit a match,
To practice for hell.
I cut my eyes,
And saw the truth,
When I removed myself.
I turned a new leaf,
But still I perceive,
The same chlorophyll.
I put down the blade,
But the wind,
Still turns the mill.
I chose to be,
And still I choose,
Whenever I forget.
Opening up,
To reality,
When all terms are met.
Again I bathe,
This time in salt,
To purify a piece.
The one as whole,
The whole as one,
Until all thoughts cease.

You are, but you strive for more,
I am, but the acceptance isn't complete,
Knowing what the future has in store,
Is like looking at a dead end street.
Your joy now will be sorrow later,
For all things come to an end.
Does life's value get any greater,
When you know what's around the river bend?

You're saying this entire time I could've been her lover. But now I have to rhyme about the fact she calls me brother and every now and then she refers to herself as mother. I have to play the close family role which works because I love her. Now when she walks by me I feel the need to duck and cover so I dont have to see her with her significant other and this significant other, she also calls him brother. And I thought I was special. Oh to hell with it, **** her. This ***** is a vacuum. Her occupation is a sucker. She likes visiting her abusive ex that once struck her over the head and then had the ***** to text both her parents numbers talking lies about how much she had made him suffer. Wait... stop a minute... let me buffer.... I'm confused. You obviously understand the discomfort yet you won't stop the constant way you seem to mutter that everything is fine and then you cut undercover. In the past you have said that you have recovered. That's obviously not the case because you've discovered knives that cut things much tougher than butter. I really want to help you, do you not understand every word that I utter. I'm typing this **** out so I know I didn't stutter. I want you to know that you're the greatest hugger and the best worst friend that could attach to a lover.

I go home to an empty room,
And stare at the white wall,
Reminds me of the recess kids,
That pick on me when we play ball,
Waking up to eternal doom,
Then out of bed I crawl,
There's just way to many stresses,
So I just hide away and stall,
Eventually school starts way to soon,
Feeling worthless and small,
Always having second guesses,
It's just a constant inner brawl.

Learned to live in despair, with no repairs, to the massive tear in my heart, replacement parts used up on fascist dipshits sifting through **** and sniffing farts, playing a game of blood and crypts and ****** body parts flung out into the black market and loaded into carts for a nice stack and that carcass that sold for a fine price never made it very far.

I feel like I could write a book full of poetry,
A hook that lasts for centuries,
A body meant for you,
And a chorus that was meant for me.

I could do all of this today,
While you all just sleep away,
The potential you’ve earned,
Watching your hair turn gray.

I could write a simple line,
Then I have seven, eight, nine,
More pages full of glee,
Full of all my poetry.

But I wouldn’t stop there,
I would quickly be aware,
That I’m still feeling the vibe,
That makes me want to share.

Sharing whatever feelings,
Whatever my mind is currently reeling,
In from the abyss,
Currently,
All I can think about,
Is the one,
I love,
The one,
I miss.

When I'm bored, I get depressed. No motivation, so the stress stockpiles in a mess like loose files or a test that I never studied for cause I'm way to busy thinking about a ***** and that one time we smoked a blunt. Now she's dizzy. Smoke some more. Feel her ****. That ****'s drippy. Kiss me twice. Falls out the door. Kinda tipsy. Never came back. Said she loves me, then she attacked. This isn't healthy. Hurt my heart and mentally pulled me apart piece by piece.

I’ve got a cute girlfriend and *** is a norm,
But depression rolls in like an impeding storm,
Freezing my body in a cool sense of warm,
A mediocre stasis that has my life torn,
Torn T-shirts that I haven’t even worn,
Here I am wishing that I was never born,
Two beef sausages and a side of corn,
As I sit, no pants, and the TV playing ****,
Basically, my life is pretty **** normal,
Not casual, yet a lot less formal,
Soon I’ll be done, thank God I’m not immortal,
Please no heaven or hell, just a portal,
Straight to the abyss of absolute nothing,
No feeling or emptiness or sensual touching,
I long for this now, because I am not rushing,
Towards deaths pleasant hold that I mistook for hugging,
A sharp grasp death has, but only for a second,
For pain is only ever briefly beckoned,
In the grand scheme of earth and its myths and its legends,
And its terrors and its faults and its teachers and its lessons,
I guess I should try and move and feel,
Step away from addiction and eat my meal,
I am here now and all of this is real,
Yet I will continue to keep emotions concealed,
Cause I know that no one wants to deal,
With my mental states and possible death,
That may come to be just like the rest,
Of other teens that gave up their life,
Cause they couldn’t handle the emotional strife,
I put on an act, a face, a mask,
And go on with my boring-*** menial tasks. /:

Born an anxious wreck,
Couldn't breathe for a sec,
Had an umbilical cord,
Wrung around my neck,
My dad prayed to the lord,
And the lord checked,
To see if he could afford,
A being as complex,
As me on board,
In his Sims project,
So my life was restored,
When a doctor undid it,
Now I'm sitting here bored,
And lord forbid I,
Act on my accord,
I'll get things done which I,
Never thought possible,
And probably not plausible,
Absolutely phenomenal,
And then I'll say I called it all,
Even though I saw little,
Cause I lacked the foresight,
And to my delight,
Cause ignorance is bliss,
And bliss was supplied,
Despite my first kiss,
That I somehow survived,
Locked mouths quick,
But kept open eyes,
Now she's a *****,
That I'll always despise,
Where am I going with this?
Am I making up lies?
Not a single fib,
To my surprise,
Maybe I'm changing,
Not locked in my ways,
Maybe I'll make a better track,
On a happier day.

Sure *****, I got a nice six inch thick ****,
But I'll *** as fast as I rap this simple arithmetic.
Sure, I seem rather strong and I look toned,
But I'm slowly dying from a great lack of meat on these bones.
Sure, in school I have five A's and a B,
But I'm ******* crazy, constantly transpiring insanity.
Sure, suicide failed once and I'm still alive,
But I'm still in love with a ***** that won't look me in the eyes.
Sure I am lonely 23/7,
But during that one extra hour, it kind of feels like heaven,
Cause that dumb ***** might be in the same room,
And her bright luminescence will always liberate my gloom.

She’s the butter, I’m the toast,
She’s hot, she melts, she gets real close,
She sits on my lap and I grab her ****,
I squeeze and pull closer, my little ****,
She’s feeling my **** through my pants,
Not the ideal circumstance,
But we’re in public so it’s better this way,
Later in privacy, I’ll make her day,
She pulls closer till’ there’s no length between,
Her soft soaking ***** and my rock-hard peen,
Every ******, there’s a moan, every moan, there’s a kiss,
Through skin and through bone, all I feel is bliss,
I feel this way because I’m so close to my baby,
My good good girl, my little lady,
I am all hers and she is all mine,
Whatever the setting, she is looking fine,
Whether 3 AM or 10 at night,
Her **** luminescence won’t stop shining bright,
She’s so **** cute that sometimes it scares me,
I’m afraid that there will be a guy that stops and just glares deep,
Into her cleavage or at her nice round ***,
But she assured me she’s mine, so I know she will pass,
Up any other guy that might want a taste,
Of her savory sopping, perfect ***** paste,
I will feed her and **** her,
And love her and tuck her,
Into bed at night with a goodnight kiss,
As I leave the room, I tell her I miss,
Her already and then she will pout,
So I come back inside and let a load out,
Well, a load, or two, or three, or seven,
Cause I want to make my presence feel like heaven,
Cause when I’m with her, it’s heavenly all right,
A ******, a scratch, a kiss, a bite,
After we both can’t take anymore,
I fall asleep atop my little *****,
We both start to dream as we hold each other close,
Close enough to be one... one buttered toast.

I have come to the simple conclusion,
That everything is for naught,
Cause there's an inevitable intrusion,
Of death that is soon to be brought,
So emotions will be covered,
Beneath the look of a poker face,
Close the doors and close the shutters,
And remain in my secluded space,
I'm in love with a furry *****,
That I will never get to have,
I'll just ponder games and glitches,
And ignore the heart that has halved,
It has been a year and I made some friends,
From bed to school to school to bed,
I have lived through my persona and trends,
Of pretending and playing dead,
My new best friend that I thought I trusted,
Was caught making out with the girl, he got busted,
That furry ***** that once I had lusted over,
Now that makes two nasty *******, I'm disgusted,
I pushed myself away from friends,
And pulled myself towards planning their death,
I will figure out how to make amends,
Once they've both taken their final breath.

If you think that since I've confessed my love that I'm not in pain and that I'm on the brink of more or less going insane, you would be fifty percent correct, cause my brain was infected like a virus encrypting the mainframe. Pitched a tent to stop the rain from ******* with my game of life. Costs a cent to view the pain of friends using knifes on their strife ridden bodies at night. Pain is plain, easy, and cheap, memories for keep, no change, just rearranged mental states. Same intentions kept on the front page, new inventions used to hide their age so it looks like nothing changed.

What code is this?
It's Oedipus.
A silly cypher,
Disgusting predicates,
Snip the wire,
For instant level-headedness,
Insistent thoughts of devilish,
Hellish psychological embellishments,
Third day comers are late to ****,
And word play lovers may cherish this.

I text my girl,
She leaves me on read,
Then she says she's tired,
And I say I'm dead,
Then she asks why,
And I say because,
I'm not getting kisses,
And I'm not getting hugs,
And I don't know,
The next time I'll see you,
So I'll sleep and I'll sleep,
Until I've received my cue,
To come on over,
Or she comes to me,
I have to have hope,
I have to believe,
That this girl won't leave,
I really hope she'll stay,
Cause if she ever left,
I'd have one more day,
To figure out,
How I'm going to die,
Then **** myself,
Cause ***** being alive,
If I have to live,
Without my girl,
My sweet sweet baby,
My entire world,
My entire universe,
The planets the stars,
The slowest of snails,
The fastest of cars,
Literally,
My everything,
Makes me want,
To rap and sing,
And write about,
Her pretty face,
Her perfect ***,
Her sweet embrace,
I miss it so,
I'll go to sleep,
I may wake up,
From this long dream,
Then I'll go back,
To counting sheep,
Missing her back,
To counting sheep.

Find a word,
Of inward,
Origin and
Ordaining,
Hidden meaning,
He imagined,
A land of peace,
Of cleaned,
Out souls,
So lust,
Is gone,
Ego sin,
No more,
Omen.

Home is where the heart is?
No, the home is for the brain.
Cause when I'm out in the streets,
Then I can dance in the rain.
If I'm trapped in my house,
Then I will go insane.
***** waiting for the storm to pass,
Slowly trickling down the drain.
Having a friend is a pain in the ***,
When there's nothing to gain.
Stopped dead in my tracks, out of gas,
And I'm in the wrong lane.
I've been feeling that to the max,
Day after day,
But why wait for the storm to pass,
When you can dance in the rain.

Almost two months through our story line. Today is day number forty-nine. Since the beginning, you've proven more benign than any past girl that was stuck in my mind. You're careful with my heart. You won't drop and shatter it. Sure, this is just the start. But, that doesn't matter. It will go smoothly for the rest of eternity, On the road of love, I will drive carefully. And so will your captain on your trip to Paris and Venice. ****, that's tremendous. We won't focus on the past and we won't focus on the premise. Our future seems bright so I guess I should let us part for a while, while you're on your trip. Make sure not to stumble onto some Frenchmans ****. I know you value loyalty, and so do I. I promise to take care of myself and stay alive, as long as you are taking care of yourself, cause daddy won't be there to help you excel, and he will get sad, but he knows you'll come back. Every day that you're gone is yet another crack in my heart, but it's fine. You'll come back in eight or nine days and I'll write for you every day, putting my appreciation on display, Don't forget me while you're lost in your fun, This is the first day of poems and now I'm done...

You are back.
               back in our city.
               back in my time zone.
                             my beautiful baby.
          Soon to be my own again.
          Soon to be in my arms again.
          Soon, her and I, and nobody else.
                                   I won’t have to share her.
Her body will be mine.
                  Will she enjoy our time?
                           She will!
                                   Will I?
               Of course I will.             And I shall take every  course  of action to make sure she enjoys herself.
She will.
     I will.
     I will be in heaven.
                         Heaven will be on earth.
                          I hope I will see her soon.        That is my only hope.
      Without my hope, my lover, my everything, I am sure to go insane.
    How can I tell?
   Is it what I can feel?  
     Or what I can’t?
                       Can’t you see it?
                    I think you can...
                    I am losing all control...
                    I am going insane...
                    I am.

She ain’t in Paris yet, yet I’ve perished. Let these words entrap you in a nervous sweat. No, I’m not upset. No, not even worried. Forgot all past regrets. All the past has been buried. She’s my loyal girl and I’m hella lucky. I run my hands through her curls as she asks, “Will you **** me?” In the past I’ve written love, but tonight’s a different story. I’m talking bout’ lust, like when you’re feeling *****. Like when you wanna pin their cute little arms down on the bed and send your best regards straight through your **** and out into their *****, getting caught up in the glory, whether shaved or bushy... Or she’s hoppin’ on the **** and I’m holding that ***. I’m tryna’ hold her steady but she wants to go fast. It’s the tease that I’m after. I want to make her want it. We were taking a shower. She had the soap and then she dropped it. Went in from behind. She looked back all surprised. Mouth wide open and tears in her eyes. Faster, in and out. She came seven times. After four hours, I had to draw the line. Next thing you know, we are out eating at a fancy dinner. Not enough seating. I have my baby sit nicely on my lap. Lucky me, it’s a skirt. So close to the gap. Move over ******* and unzip my jeans. She has no idea that I’ve just set the scene. As the waiter comes by and asks for our order,
I tease her a bit. Rub my **** around the border. My girl scoots an inch in the right direction. The perfect accident. Not even my intention. Now I’m six inches deep and she accidentally moans. Her parents didn’t hear her. They were busy on the phone. Busy with adulting. Yeah, some important ****. Not important as my girl falling on my ****. Later that night, we get back home. I sit on the sofa and she sits on the throne. The throne is my **** and my **** is hard. Her parents are with some dogs out in the yard. Now she’s wearing shorts, so I slip off my pants.
Okay, I’m done lusting, cause my baby is in France. I miss her so much. I’m done with the lust. Back to the love. The lust is not a must. Tomorrow I write love and every other day I’ll show my appreciation in quite a lovely way.

Can’t fall asleep when she’s not in my bed, let alone out of town.
Memories of us stuck in my head, so I sit and drown.
Drown the thoughts of us out of my brain, until I have no thoughts.
I think that I am slowly going insane, I guess I was caught.
I was caught in her tight love grasp, squeezing ever tighter.
I choose to stay put in her palm and gasp, cause I’m not a fighter.
I fight for what I love and that is all, therefore I’m a lover.
She’s my little girl, yeah, she ain’t tall,
Yet there’s nothing I place above her.
We’ve never been apart this long, the aching feels much worse.
Being far apart feels so wrong, like a one week, two day curse.
Nine days without my baby,
I wonder if she misses me,
For now that’s just a maybe,
She proves it when she kisses me.
She proves it when she hugs me close,
Squeezing me oh so tight,
When she whispers, “I love you”, in my ear,
I love you, baby <3 Goodnight <3

There will be days when the sun brightly shines,
The morning birds chirping,
And your beauty to blind,
My sight upon waking at a late time.
There will be days when we sleep in till’ noon,
Not busy and not stressed,
Maybe nothing to do,
You might sleep talk and I’ll say, “I love you.”
There will be days when I cook you breakfast,
Bring the food to our bed,
Back to our little nest,
And give forehead kisses upon request.
There will be days when we have the day off,
We might watch a movie,
About couples that scoff,
In funny ways, while I rub out the soft.

But there will be nights when you’re feeling cold,
Not wanting to live,
Then of course I’ll give,
A blanket, a smile, and a hand to hold.
There will be nights where you’ll question your worth,
You will keep asking why,
You’ve been put on this earth,
I’ll shrink your worries, from ocean to firth.
There will be nights when the stars don’t sparkle,
The dark can be scary,
But I’ll have strawberries,
So many dipped in chocolate and caramel.
There will be nights when the world is ending,
And I will be lending,
My love your way, spending,
The last few moments of the impending,
Doom that we’re in mentally ascending,
While the pretenders are out pretending,
Attending an unending fending for themselves,
When all I can think of is your well-being and health,
I will hold your head close to my chest,
I will rub your back to steady your breath,
I will whisper, “Baby, everything will be fine,”
Then we’ll be back in our bed like time said, “Rewind!”,
You’ll whimper and pout, sure you’ll be sad,
I mean, look around… this **** is bad,
But if you’re in my arms and you choose to squeeze tighter,
Then whatever the setting, you’ll make the scene brighter.

Some mornings, you’ll wake, and you’ll be in Venice,
And I will be quite far,
5,400 miles away,
But no matter how far away you are,
My love will extend to the furthest of reaches,
My lovely scone that’s full of peaches,
Don’t let the distance make your love for me hazy,
Only one more week till’ I see you again, baby.

Sometimes I stop and think.
Right now, I’m thinking.
I think I’m going insane.

How did I get here?
Where am I now,
If I am soon to arrive at insanity?

I’ve been knocked off track.
I’ve stepped out of line.
Without you, Mia...
                                                 ...I’m aimless.

I’m in a constant state of worry.
I’m in a constant state of panic.
I’m in a constant state of insanity.

I’ve been separated from my other half.
That’s half of my soul that up and left.
Soon to be back, but for now... insanity...

She is a magnet and so am I.
Some parts of me attract her.
Some parts of me don’t.
She will force the metal together,
Whether it pulls or pushes away.
She will forever despise Heather...
                I will always love Aim.

Inperceivable problems of the past,
Countless current conversions,
Manifold future interferences,
And then there’s you...

Complications, dilemmas, disputes,
Contradictions, counters, and refutes,
Authenticity diminishes and dilutes,
The truth, the principle, and it’s proof,
And then there’s you...

Complicated comments and concepts,
Simply a disturbance, a diversion,
From my feeble-minded intellect,
But now I am thinking,
What good comes of the smarts in a man,
If I am on one side, I look towards the other,
And then there’s you...
Separate from me...
Separate from my problems...
I take no action...
I say I don’t need help...
I turn away...
I look back once more...
Your hand is on my shoulder...
And you remind me...
We are in this together...
Forever and Always...

On our 77th day together, that day is supposedly the best day to start a job.
On our 70th day together, the AMC Marvel Marathon is in progress.
On our 63rd day together, you are back from Paris and we are finishing up our first week of school together since your return.
Tomorrow will be our 56th day together.
49 days after we got together was the last time I saw you.
42 days after we got together, my exchange student left.
35 days after we got together was the first time I told you I got kicked out of my house.
28 days after we got together, my sister crafted a heart for you made of thread and nails.
21 days after we got together was the first time we talked about living together.
14 days after we got together, the first **** talk about us started.
7 days after we got together, you went to the creepy dentist.
We got together on Valentines Day:
❤️ February 14th ❤️

An hour goes by, and a raindrop falls,
I look up to the sky, while receiving no calls,
No texts from my lover, because she’s sound asleep,
So, what happens to me, I get lost in a dream…

I walk into school ten minutes after seven,
I sit down all alone and then I am beckoned,
Over to a kid who wants me to teach lessons,
Based on Japanese culture in a matter of seconds,
Cause school’s about to start and he didn’t study,
I couldn’t care less, I’m like, “Bro, I’m not your buddy.
Stop bothering me and stop trying to act funny,
Go ask your Asian sister, that *****, Mrs. Chun Lee,
She’s a smart Asian girl, so go ask her for advice,”
He just glares for a second and then he leaves my side,
I see my girl walk in the room and I’m quickly tongue-tied,
No words come out my mouth, but the mouth is open wide,
In-between inconceivable mumbles I kiss her,
But words aren’t enough to express how much I’ve missed her,
I feel so clingy wrapped around her like it’s Twister,
The guy from earlier walks by and has the ***** to diss her,
I slowly get up from my comfortable position,
Right hook to his face to remind him his decision,
Lacked any compassion and my perfect precision,
Broke his glasses in half, now in school that’s called division,
My math teacher walks by and quickly gives me an A,
The bell rings and my girl says, “I don’t wanna be late”,
I say, “But, baby… first period is our date.”
Too my surprise she takes my hand and says, “Okay”,
We walk to the dugout and find a bench to sit,
She sits on my lap and I feel her ****,
Keeps my hands warm, but not as warm as this:
She undoes her buckle and I go towards the ****,
Slipped under jeans and underneath the *******,
Feel her up everywhere, yeah, every nook and cranny,
A little bit of teasing, because that’s what she fancies,
After ******* quick, I ask if she can scan these,
Two big ***** and my six-inch ****,
She buckles her belt, gets up and checks a clock,
We got forty more minutes and now she’s looking shocked,
Cause I whipped it out fast and she eyes it like a hawk,
Cause it’s throbbing and hot and ready to be used,
I’m sitting there wide open, ready to be amused,
Like a magnet she lurches, and she’s quickly fused,
Mouth to ****, I said, “Slow down!”, but then she refused,
This girl has got it down and I’m soon to ***,
It feels so good that my mind goes dumb,
I start thrusting my hips and her eyes spun,
Back in her head and she’s choking on gum,
That’s exactly what it sounded like at least,
Until I convulsed a few times and then I ceased,
Cause I came and that **** had sprayed and then leaked,
Straight down the throat and my girl, she had shrieked,
A gurgle of a shriek, but a shriek nonetheless,
But you could see in her eyes that she had no regret,
As a matter of fact, she looked practically possessed,
Possessed with satisfaction upon my request,
We were both ready for round number two,
I pulled my pants down, she took off her shoes,
To take her pants off so I could abuse,
Her tight twitching **** with five-star reviews,
She hovered a second and slowly lowered down on,
My quickly recovered **** and then went to town on,
The **** like it was the only thing she could count on,
To bring her joy in this world, but then I turned the frown on,
Her face… well it was more of a hungry pout,
I steadied her body and told her all about,
Slow *** and its greatness, but she had doubted,
That it was that great, so she rerouted,
To rocket speed and I grabbed that ***,
I never thought that hips could move this fast,
I’ll tell you one thing though, this ******,
Could never in one thousand years ever surpass,
Any other experience, but I say that every time,
Cause *** with her is sure to be sublime,
Then after we finish, she likes to climb,
All over me while I tell her she’s mine,
Snuggles after *** is the greatest thing,
Cause you’re out of energy and just want to cling,
Closely to your partner and that’s all during,
The cooing and protecting and the safely securing,
Of my baby in my arms, it’s just the greatest,
Right after this happened, school was canceled,
I had to make sure my baby was happily handled,
I took her out to a movie and candlelit dinner,
At the end of the day I felt like a winner,
Her parents invited me over to spend the night,
I happily accepted with surprised delight,
They sent us too her room to get out of their hair,
And at this point, I was finally aware,
I was sadly dreaming, and my baby was still in France,
This figment of my imagination can’t get in my pants,
Sadly, I woke up misconstrued a few minutes later,
And thought to myself, definitely one of the greater,
Dreams I had in the past few nights,
Most of my dreams have been full of frights,
Nightmares come more often than not,
Now I had dreamt of my baby, I had got,
A taste of whatever was soon to come,
I laid back down, this time feeling numb,
Missing my baby with all of my heart,
Felt like I was being pulled apart,
Piece by piece with a small pair of plyers,
Fell asleep again and had a dream of a fire,
The fire burned everything including my baby,
This was a normal dream, the dreams that I hated,
I woke up quickly in an irritated sweat,
Got out of my bed which was soaking wet,
With sweat and *** and tears and drool,
I was unmotivated and out of fuel,
I walked to the closest road I could find,
Sadly, my mental health rapidly declined,
A car came at me and I thought it would stop,
But I was hit and dead without a second thought,
After this happened, I woke up again,
I was twenty-three years old. I swiftly sprung out of my sheets and studied my surroundings. I was in quite the stunning house and in the bed I had leapt out of, lay my silent sleeping sunshine, the love of my life, Mia. Now I had to ask the significant questions… am I still in a dream? In this specific reality, is Mia my girlfriend, wife, or perhaps a close friend that happened to stop by and passed out in my bed? And the most important question of them all… where did the poetry format go?

Past 8 Days: </3
Sunday: <3

There’s two types of missing you.

Firstly, I think about you as a person and I miss hugging you, kissing you, holding your hand, running my fingers through your hair, making you smile, making you laugh... making you happy...
                           ...I miss making you happy.

Secondly, I think about *** and I miss slow kissing, touching your *******, touching your ****, rubbing you out, grinding, all forms of teasing, *** in any position... whatever makes you happy...
                           ...I miss making you happy.

                    I miss being your happiness.
                I miss my happiness.
           I miss you.

I'm constantly checking Snapchat and Instagram, and instantly decoding your posts like a cryptogram. In a millisecond my brain goes from using a gig of ram, to oozing out ten petabytes, like *******.
It won't slow down and I'm trying to stay chill, so I gotta down another bottle of pills. This also helps with the hunger that I'm trying to fill, going from starved, to full, to just feeling ill.
Nauseating dizzying feeling and I'm flustered, populating my stomach with crackers dipped in mustard, I don't like food, but I've started to wonder why my ribs hurt, might be the undying hunger.
I can't pull my eyes away from it as I slit upon my thighs and think of a beautiful ***** I'll never get, so I get lost in distractions to forget her. I've come to accept that this is the truth as I accept the cold and give her my sweater. Attempted controlled suicide at a park plus the letter. If she goes in for anything then I guess I will let her. But every time she touches me it lights a fuse that only activates when she's not around, only clutches me closely when there's nobody else in the vicinity inbound making me feel deader.

You see them together,
You wish she had it better,
But he treats her like cold weather,
Tryna' avoid her altogether,
But she's so clingy,
Because that's the only man she wants,
But his feelings are mini,
And you hate his nonchalance,
You need her to understand,
That you would be a better man,
And that you're her biggest fan,
But then she began,
To see herself as ugly,
No attention from her boyfriend,
This **** ain't funny,
So you buy her a puppy,
But then you're unlucky,
Before you give it to her,
She takes her own life,
Sliced her vein with a knife,
In the night,
Feelings ignite,
And you feel like you might,
Scream and fight,
Her boyfriend but you're polite,
But at the same time you're dynamite,
The boyfriend is just wide eyed for a second,
When he hears the news but then he's beckoned,
Over to another girl then politeness concludes,
Your body goes numb,
Your brain gets dumb,
Eyes fade out everyone,
Except for the one,
Who has killed your precious,
You take something out of the crevice,
Of the jacket that you possess,
You take out a knife time to transgress,
You stab it into his stupid flesh,
That let her die and you continue to press,
For some reason you still don't feel success,
You still feel the anger followed by stress,
You pass out and wake up to a red light,
Then it's blue and your blinded cause its so bright,
Covered in blood boy that's a sight,
To the police they though you died,
Now you want to you even tried,
To **** yourself cause there's no reason to live,
Your girl is dead and you just killed a kid,
The police stop you before you have a chance,
Man you wouldn't believe the circumstance,
Out of your blurry vision,
You see her standing there with him,
The man you just stabbed,
On a table all wrapped,
Hugging on his mother and dad,
Now you're confused and you don't understand,
You thought she had died you thought she was bagged,
You must've heard news about the wrong person *******,
As you're hauled off to jail,
Your face turns pail,
Your off on a trail,
Where feelings curtail,
Now there's no chance to prevail,
As you exhale you feel that's your final breath,
You successfully stabbed yourself right in the chest,
Your worries have finally been put to rest,
You will surely be Satan's next guest,
On you're grave it says, "Died During Arrest".

Use the strange abstractions,
and temporarily use distractions,
which creates a sudden reaction,
temporarily forgetting attractions,
to people that meet your satisfaction,
but don't like your inaction,
cause you're a social freak that can't have a normal ******* interaction.

When the hug has lost all feeling,
When the kiss has lost all touch,
When 'I Love You' lost all meaning,
When emotions are just too much,
When the smile is clearly broken,
When the laugh is clearly fake,
Please accept my devotion,
Before you actually break.