the sea rises and falls
in rhythm with the moon

my soul ebbs and flows
in  rhythm of our love

this hum drum existence we live
working ourselves to the bone to have the bills paid
clock in, clock out
repeat

sometimes each momemt feels magical,
each one wrapped with infinite possibility

some days, life feels like utter futility
a grind till I get to the leisure or buy the next thing
I am supposed to work myself for

I am a clog in the machine of captilism,
but I know something that makes all this
futile monotony not lead to slow death of my soul

the secret I treasure in my heart is that my worth does not lie
in my production or function.

I have value, because I have the breadth of life flowing in me.
and when my heart connects to the bredth of life in you,
then two hearts transform futility into beauty
I realize for a moment I am not alone,
that a meeting of hearts sparked hope
and transformed each other from dehumanized
objects into persons

your light brings
joy on a summer's night
playfully dancing in the dark

I am saddened by
your dimming light
as you approach eternal night

your life is finite
but the joy your light has brought
will burn through eternity

the crisp morning air
embraces my skin
greeting each pore
with a welcome
to wake up

my mind is a wasteland of negative thoughts
self-pity, resentment, and fear-- they bury themselves
deep in my mind slowly decomposing, but sometimes are
reborn when I feed them

I would be consumed by dark self destructive thoughts
that would eat me away from the inside, if it was not for my heart sorting and purifying my negative thoughts into good intentions that grow into thoughtful actions to help others

I always thought I could think my way out from the hell I created, but what really freed me is allowing my heart to sing

I needed the help of others who survived their own wastelands
to believe my song was worth singing, their voices carried me
until I found my own melody bubbling inside of me

my heart sings to remember not to loose hope, and reach out to others

may your song break through
the darkness of the night
and welcome the dawn

may your song give hopeless hearts
a taste of wondrous beauty
that touches even darkened souls

sipping my morning coffee
as you gently slumber in our bed
with life growing inside of you

we have a home with one another,
which is something I never dreamed of.

this sense of peace started with me asking help out of great silence, so I could awaken to your love

to trend or not to trend?
who know why poems trend,
and why announcements that are not poems
end up on daily poems.

my validation and hope comes from connecting
to myself, God and others through the art of language.
I hope those who walk the lines of desperation as I have,
find some peace in reading the words of others who
have made it to the other side.

life is not all sunshine and rainbows,
but I definitely don't wake up each day
wishing I was dead like I used to.

there is hope and it all started with me admitting
my way was not working.

i am grateful today to be alive and to find hope and strength
in all of you, who are also trying find meaning and purpose
through creative expression of the written word.

thank you. love you.

there are days where I feel pointless,
even a bit sad that my poems are
merely a drop in a vast ocean of
thoughts and expressions

why bother writing and sharing?

I sometimes feel insignificant,
and compare myself to others
and feel like I fall short.

there will always be people who write more clearly,
more beautifully with clear imagery,
but none writes like me.
I write, because I must.
sometimes the words build up inside of me,
and if I don't let it out it will slowly eat me up from the inside.

I write and share, because even though my words are like a drop
in a vast sea, at least like water I am connected to others by sharing a little snap shot of my life, thoughts and feelings.

I write, because it reminds me that I am worthy and loved enough to allow the beautiful act of creation to work within
me.  

I am part of the process of life, I am part of the whole, I am part of the "We."  

I am not alone.

my mind is in a fog
your love is the breeze that
clears it away

Buddhists say that each breath brings us closer to death
the saying is not a morbid desire for death, but a reminder to wake up now

I know the big sleep is coming, and some days knowing I will die motivates me to be fully present to today, but somedays the knowledge I will die makes me want to withdraw and do nothing

I don't want to run from death, or embrace death to run from life

no matter how fast i go,
i never seem to be able to outrun time
my actions catch up with me,
then i can either run or face the music

recently i have found a third way to live,
i can flow with the stream of life
and be guided by the natural rhythm and harmony
of a Loving Force Greater than me
I just have to "relax and take it easy."

my soul was hibernating
until gently roused by Your love

my life changed in a moment
I stopped trying to play God
I just didn't know it yet,
till I walked further along the way
and shared my experience with someone else

emptying out boxes
discarding things I no longer need
rediscovering treasures
I had frgotten I had

as I break down each empty box,
I feel a little lighter, more free
soon the things I have been hoarding
are all gone, and I can't rember why held on so long

one room down, few more to go
I wouldn't miss it for the world

my thought are fragmented,
so they grow in number
filling my head with
wreckage of the future

I know I cannot control the future,
yet my fear of the unknown makes
me obsess about things that might or might not happen.
I am grateful I have prayer to help me "let go and let God"

Sometimes simply putting my fears out on paper,
and literally getting it out of my head helps.  
then I ask a loving Power that's not me remove it,
and ask what it would have me be.

A loving God does not want me be locked inside of myself
with fears about things I cannot control.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will not mine be done. Amen."

the summer rain washes
my blues away

makes everything new

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong

Nothing compares
Nothing Compares to you

I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor and guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl you better try to have fun
No matter what you do
But he's a fool

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

anxiety is another form of fear
that keeps me frozen

sometimes my feet feel so heavy
I want to give up,
then someone walks from behind
and I realize I am not walking this path alone.
somehow, I feel a little bit lighter and filled with purpose
in my step, and I catch up to the next guy and help him
get up and walk the path together.

Beloved, you were waiting in
the veins of my soul to provide
sweet water to quench my
spiritual thirst

no person, *****, or acclimations
relieved my desperate thirst

Today, I am a channel of your life giving water that
I freely share, and in return I am given the gift of
peace and serenity in my soul

1.  I am grateful for having the freedom to share my thoughts freely without censorship.

2. Grateful for my wife and our daughter growing inside of her.

3.  I am grateful for something greater than me keeping me alive multiple times, when I tried to take my life multiple times in a dark period that almost lasted a decade.  

4.  I am grateful today that I can start the day free and at peace with my life, and not drown out the voices with substances or compulsive behavior.

5.  I am thankful I can breathe, and be in touch with my heart.

6.  I am grateful for Hello Poetry , my online community of poets that I can share my experiences and learn from others to continue living with hope.

I remember when I was lost in depression and self-loathing,
how alone I felt.

Even when I was surrounded by people, who I loved and loved me, I felt disconnected and numb.

This poem is a small message to all of you who felt and feel this way that you are not alone.

No suggestions or advice.  Often the friends and strangers that helped me the most when I was really lost in myself were the ones who drew near and were just with me.

A silent loving presence means a lot when you feel numb to life.  A simple tender touch might not break through the walls of depression in the moment, but I remember those warm touches in hind sight.  

Loving presence were subtle lamp posts that guided me out of the darkness of depression, resentments, self-pity, and hate.

All I have are these words as totems of a loving presence given to me by others that reminded me that I am not alone.  A gentle touch, a silent smile, or just hearing the breath of a loved one sitting quietly next to you.

we live lives so close together and yet so far away.
moving metal boxes give us the illusion of separation,
and our houses set the boundary of privacy.

In the end, the great equalizer brings us all back to the soil.
We are united in death to be connected again to the earth,
but some of us want to be separate even in death and
decompose privately in a metal box.  

What are the boundaries that separate me from you?  
for a brief instant our lives touch as your eyes read my words,
and my heart touches your heart.  In that moment of connection,
we become little more free of the apathy and disconnection
that's all around us.

the journey home is difficult ,
but worth every moment of struggle
to be at my father's celebration of my return.

1

Time erupts into infinity
a moment turns into eternity
as we exchange glances

2

Love bursts into happiness
a promise turns into a vow
as we begin life together

3*

We break out into laughter
a moment of intimacy grows
as we welcome a new life together

I was cursing on autopilot,
not reay taking responsibility
for my life.

I lived a decade or more in a daze
and confused by my own illusions,
thinking somehow I was in control.

I was lucky enough to be given a moment of grace,
a tiny window where I surrendered and cried out
for help and actually took the help offered to me.

Three years ago I was alone drinking myself to death
in my basement apartment, bitter and resentful.
I was praying everyday for God to **** me.

Today, I am grateful that I am alive.
I am free to make mistakes, but more importantly,
I can be grateful today for my life with all it's beauty and pain.

I am grateful that I got to see my baby girl for the first time,
in her mother's belly and that I am alive today
welcome life instead of trying to end it.

O beloved, Your love is not a drug,
a substance that keeps me bound and trapped.

In my experience,
Love is not a compulsive impulse,
but a feeling of coming home.

In being loved and loving,
I become a little more free to
once again be the little boy that loves freely

Your love is not addictive, because
no drug can free me from the ******* of self

Beloved, my love for You grows from mutuality and commitment
A love that frees

bird songs carry gently to my door
as I sit on my meditation cushion,
and for a brief moment silence explodes
into vivid life of connection

I hear the morning song of creation
bursting all around me and within me
the thumping of my heart beat is the drum
of the morning song that I can only feel and hear,
if I slow down and tune into my breadth

there is music everywhere, both out there and in me
a lovely symphony that I can perceive as a connective harmony,
when I quiet down and really listen with my whole being

As I listen my heart sings and my soul smiles
I am the morning song sung to the Creator
one of devotion, love and just being

I awoke with fatigue and pain,
but my soul lifts with renewed hope
as Love floods my heart, cleansing it

There's an expression in Korean that literally means your heart is on fire to express when someone is really angry or passionate.

I feel like my heart is on fire of late and reacting to everything like I am walking on egg shells and exploding at the world and people I love for no apparent reason.  

I am cooling down, but the hardest part is self-acceptance.

your words wounded deeper than your fists,
and it seems like a life time ago when I forgave
you.

I find myself afraid of becoming like you once again,
the you that no longer exists, but lives botteled up in
all my passive aggressive energies.

I am afraid I might be a father that unleashes my anger
and frustrations at my future baby, and yet in my heart
I know that I am free.

I know father that you were a child of abuse like me,
and you did the best you could.  I dont't have to continue
the cycle of violence.

I start by loving me with all of my gifts and imperfections,
and with this new found freedom I can love like a father
who is not bounded by the past.  

I forgive you.  I love you.

the air is so thick that even your thoughts melt away
in the Southern heat.  sweat starts pouring until your
clothes start clinging to you like an unwanted lover.  heat and sweat seperates the true Southerners from the wannabe's,
who don't truly love a place even when it's too **** hot.

waking up with
sadness that lingers deep
a quiet aching

life is a process
and sometimes a cause
can never be known

I have experienced in my heart
that some knowing goes deeper than my intellect

I know with my heart-mind that I am loved,
and it's given me hope to be free of self-hate and self-harm,
and for that I am grateful

I called you home for 3 years,
now return to your urban streets
to say goodbye.  

Thank you, love you.

today I am free
to love without fear,
without hatred in my heart

today I am free,
resentments no longer bleed
into all my thoughts and actions

today I am free
to give and receive love
without expectations

Because deep in my center
I experience a loving God that
loves me today and everyday

time flows like an uninterrupted stream
building steam and crescendoing into
a raging river

instead of flowing against it, I try to be
like a leaf flowing with it instead of
fighting the current

sometimes I am caught in an eddy and
time stands still as I wind in circles
until I'm off again

I can't always see the larger picture,
but when I am centered in a loving Divine Presence
then I remember I am flowing to the Great Ocean

Each hour is precious and a chance to open up,
so I may move closer to the greater whole
a destination I can't even imagine

feelings of deep discontent use to swallow me whole.

now I am bombarded by a flurry of hope and love

the birds sing songs of praise rising to the heavens.

I never thought I would be a teacher,
even if I am an assistant teacher, I am
helping to shape the minds and spirits
of my students.

I teach students with autism, and sometimes
I wish I was like Professor Xavier and that I could read the
minds of the kids I work with, who are a mystery
to me.

I don't have mutant powers, but I do have the
capacity to love.  I learned and honed the skills
of listening to my heart at L'Arche, which is
often called the school of the heart.

I do my best to learn the lesson plans and provide
reinforcements for positive behavior, but
mostly as I engage my students I pray a simple
prayer of "Thank you. I love you."

My students are not a cumilation of data, facts,
and their diagnoses.  Each one of us including
me has value, because of the breadth of life of the Creator.

Divine presence, may I treat each child with love and
with an open heart, so I may give and receive.
May I teach and be taught lessons of the heart
from my students. Thank you. I love you.