In the future paradise, all wild animals will be as tame as kittens.
Children will play with poisonous snakes without fear of being bitten.
We will be able to build our own houses and grow our own food.
Everybody will be friendly to each other, nobody will be crude.

Animals won't attack each other, they will no longer be carnivores.
This and other wonderful things are what the future will have in store.
Jehovah God will give us our hearts desire, nothing will be begrudged.
But people who refuse to worship and obey God, won't live in the paradise, instead, they will be harshly judged.

I bought a picture of Jesus and it's hanging on my wall.
When a man walks with Jesus, he has it all.
Jesus lived on Earth and died to pay for our sins.
Without him and his father, mankind can not win.
I've learned a lot about Jesus at the Kingdom Hall.
When a man walks with Jesus, he has it all.

Jehovah God isn't responsible for bad things that happen, Satan is.
Satan is responsible for the cruelty and suffering, the cause of it all is entirely his.
When wicked things happen, some people say that it's God's will.
But Satan is the one responsible when people lie, steal and ****.
Satan is the one to blame for the bad things that have occurred.
Songs were once clean but now some are littered with the F word.
When people hurt other people and commit other crimes, Satan is to blame.
When people say that these things are God's will, it's not true and it's a shame.
Cruelty and suffering are things that Jehovah God abhors.
The world needs God more now than it ever has before.
Obama says not to fear the future but I guarantee things will continue to get worse.
Satan will cause people to do even more evil, because of him, the world is cursed.
But when Jesus returns, suffering and cruelty will cease.
If you turn to God, you will gain eternal life and peace.

God is so glorious that when he forgives, he also forgets.
When he forgives a sin, committing that sin is something that we no longer have to fret.
When God forgives, he forgets and he never again thinks about the sins that we commit.
We have to confess our sins to him and try to do better, our sins are what we must admit.
But to be forgiven, we must first forgive others, that's what we must do.
If we refuse to forgive, God won't forgive me and he won't forgive you.

When Mom died, it broke my heart, that was how I was affected.
But the best day of my life will be the day when she's resurrected.
When Mom is resurrected, she will be in perfect health and she will be young again.
This will happen one day in the future when Jesus returns, the world will be free of sin.
It was very sad and painful when Mom's life came to an end.
But when Mom is resurrected, I'll be reunited with my best friend.
We will be reunited with our loved ones because Jehovah God is so glorious.
Satan will be defeated after this happens, Jehovah and his son will be victorious.
When Mom is resurrected, what a wonderful day it will be.
When this happens, I'll tell her how much she means to me.

My fourteen year old daughter was the star of a children's TV show.
But because she grew large *******, they decided to let her go.
They said that because of her growth spurt, it would be inappropriate for her to be on a children's show.
They said they were sure that I would understand but I was furious and I said "Hell no".
I said that it was discrimination and it was an immoral reason for firing my teenage daughter.
She was more than willing to sue because of the morals that my wife and I have taught her.
It was wrong to fire her because of mother nature 's handiwork and the judge agreed.
My daughter was awarded ten million dollars, that was what the judge decreed.
We didn't sue because of the money, we sued to stand up to their discrimination.
When I say that they didn't get away with what they did, it's not an exaggeration.

Every person on the Simpsons is sick and they will die.
They're suffering from Jaundice, that's the reason why.
Every fan of the Simpsons will have to nurse a broken heart.
They can say goodbye to Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart.
I'm the bearer of bad news but I'm not trying to be mean.
The people of Springfield have the worst cases of Jaundice that has ever been seen.
I give all of them just six months to live, nine months at the most.
They will die from Jaundice, that's what the doctors have diagnosed.
People will be happy to be rid of Sideshow Bob and MR. Burns as well.
Because of the strangelings Bart has received, Homer will go to Hell.
Everybody in Springfield is very upset because they're going to die.
After being on TV for over 30 years, they can kiss their butts goodbye.

When I agreed to work for room and board, I was told that it would be good.
But the boss lied to me about the chow, it wasn't something that I misunderstood.
When I sat down at the table, I thought I was hallucinating but sadly, it was real.
I expected to get hot cakes and bacon and eggs, but all I was given was oatmeal.
I had a hard day's work ahead of me and I certainly deserved better than that.
The boss said I needed to lose weight, he didn't allow his workers to be fat.
I was so angry that I took the oatmeal and dumped it over my employer's head.
I embarrassed him in front of his other employees because his face turned red.
He said that he didn't like fat people and all of his employees had to be slim.
I hit that S.O.B. so hard that he swallowed his false teeth and then I mooned him.
I said "I Quit!" and then I walked out the door.
The other employees were laughing so hard that they were rolling all over the floor.
I will gladly work for room and board but something needs to be understood.
I'll work without pay but I'll kick the employer's *** if the chow isn't any good.

I'm angry because my wife turned out to be a shopaholic ****.
She thinks she owns me just because her name is tattooed on my ****.
Even though I'm a poor man, my wife believes in living large.
My credit cards are maxed out because of what she's charged.
I go hungry while she and her lovers go to five star restaurants and order caviar.
I got my *** kicked when I tried to stop two large men from repossessing my car.
She brings her lovers to my house, the ***** doesn't even try to be discreet.
I'm about to pass out because for the last four days, I've had nothing to eat.
I just knocked her out, put her in a crate and mailed her to Japan.
I'm doing a terrible thing to the Japanese but at least I'm a free man.
I don't have to worry about her returning and going berserk.
She'll be stuck in Japan because she's too **** lazy to work.
My hair has turned solid gray because of what she did to me.
I may look like an eighty year old but I'm so happy to be free.

It was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
My life went straight to Hell because of the lottery.
I got $100,000,000 when I won the Powerball.
But after just two years, I'm broke, I lost it all.
I bought expensive cars, mansions and a yacht.
I went broke partly because of the things I bought.
I also had family and friends begging at my door.
Two years ago I was rich, but now I'm dirt poor.
When it came to my money, I should've been tight.
But I was generous, I handed out money left and right.
I gave $250,000 to my church but ended up being sorry.
The preacher used my donation to buy himself a Ferrari.
I shouldn't have chosen to get my money in one lump sum.
Now I'm living in a cardboard box because I'm a ***.
I also lost money because the Government made me pay tax.
I wanted to go after those Government Officials with an ax.
The Government took the money and I told them where to stick it.
If you want to avoid being in my shoes, stop buying lottery tickets.

She was my mom and I loved her with all of my heart and soul.
When she died, it was so devastating that I nearly lost control.
She always had my back, when somebody messed with me, they messed with her.
She was a very special and wonderful lady and I'm certain that you'll concur.
When she died, it sure did take its toll.
I loved her with all of my heart and soul.

It was forty-four years ago today when I left your womb.
Your death has brought about tears, despair and gloom.
Usually pregnancies last nine months but you had a longer wait.
You carried me for ten months, I was a month late.
From the day I was born until the day you died, we shared a special bond.
You were always there for me and I'm still unhappy because you're gone.
You didn't deserve to suffer the way you did, what a horrible fate.
The doctors did all they could but you went to the hospital too late.
I didn't know what I had until I lost it and I lost you too soon.
It was forty-four years ago today when I left your womb.

People in the Bible worshipped idols time and time again.
They did it even though doing so was a terrible sin.
People once worshipped Baal, it was one of the idols.
People refused to worship God even though it was vital.

When God saw people worshipping idols, it really angered him.
They had to suffer the Lord's wrath when he punished them.
Some of those people's cities were destroyed and some became slaves.
Worshipping idols was a stupid and shameful way for them to behave.

Some people still have idols, one of which is movie stars.
Jehovah God is watching, he knows who these people are.
The Lord is the only one who people should idolize.
If you worship him, it is a decision that is very wise.

While I wasn't looking, somebody stole my soda.
I quickly learned that it was Jedi Master Yoda.
I walked over to his table and we exchanged words.
I really got mad when that dwarf flipped me a bird.
I beat the hell out of him, whooping him wasn't hard at all.
He tried to use the force but he was no match for me because he's only two feet tall.
Because of our altercation, that Jedi wound up in a lot of pain.
I kicked his green *** and that's why he has to use his cane.
He lost bladder control, the floor was covered with ***.
Yoda learned that it's a very bad idea to steal from me.

One terrible night you decided to drink and drive.
You hit my sister head on and she didn't survive.
That liberal judge only gave you a slap on the wrist.
But now I'm going to **** you because I'm ******.
You are a monster, you didn't feel any remorse at all.
I just fired my shotgun and your brains are on the wall.
Now it's my turn not to be remorseful, in fact I feel pretty good.
I would gladly **** you again if I could.
Because of people like you, hundreds of thousands of people are dead.
And because of people like you, many more won't have a future ahead.

Your son was injured and I'm as sorry as I can be.
But you had no right to **** a dog who wasn't guilty.
Your son was attacked and nearly killed by another Doberman.
You thought that it was my dog so you shot him with your gun.
But the guilty Doberman was caught two days ago and he was euthanized.
You killed an innocent dog and because of that, you ought to be chastised.
My dog wasn't just a pet, he was also my friend.
I cried as I buried him because it was the end.
If it wasn't for your son's predicament, I'd have you put in jail.
That's the only thing that's stopping me from having you locked in a cell.
If you shoot another innocent animal, I won't be so nice.
Before you shoot another animal, you'd better think twice.

You're mad because I told your husband the truth.
You cheated on him and I showed him the proof.
Instead of being angry, you should be ashamed.
You cheated and you only have yourself to blame.

You tried to convince your hubby that my proof was misleading.
But he could see the truth and he started divorce proceedings.
Because you were unfaithful, the judge didn't give you squat.
The clothes on your back were the only things that you got.

Your good life is gone and that's something you regret.
You once drove a Porsche but now you drive a Chevette.
Because of your infidelity, you were tossed out into the street.
If you ever find another rich man, you'd better not cheat.

I know that you've been looking for love and romance.
But your boyfriend only wants to get into your pants.
He's going to dump you when he gets what he wants.
And then he's going to go home to his wife in Vermont.
But I know how that you can ruin his life.
Just pick up the phone and call his wife.

You've designed a new electric car and it's being built on the assembly line.
You've been pestering me to buy one but I never will, one of your cars will never be mine.
You want me to buy one but I'm going to pass.
Your car ***** and you can shove it up your ***.
It takes fourteen hours to charge it and it can only be driven for thirty minutes.
Your car is a joke and when it comes to one of them, you'll never see me in it.
If I couldn't design a better car than yours, I'd give up and quit.
I will never buy one of your cars because they are pieces of ****.

I was your supporter and now you tell me to support Hillary Clinton, you're out of your cotton picking mind.
Several weeks ago you said that she's unfit to be President, you're a hypocrite of the most fundamental kind.
How dare you tell me and your other supporters to support Hillary after you said that she's unfit.
If you were standing in front of me, I would give you a piece of my mind because you're a piece of **.
I was already upset at you but now I'm enraged because you told me to support her.
You have a lot of nerve to tell me to support that woman, you're a hypocrite and that is for sure.

(This poem takes place in the year 1800)

You call yourself a Christian who has been saved.
But you're not a Christian because you have slaves.
Instead of freeing your slaves, slavery is something you choose to prolong.
If you were a Christian, you'd free them because Jesus said slavery is wrong.
When you pretend to be a Christian, it definitely makes God mad.
Because you can't see that you're a horrible person, it is very sad.
God and Jesus realize that slaves are precious human beings who should be free.
You're not a true Christian because If you were, you'd free your slaves immediately.
Owning fifty slaves makes you money and their hardship makes your purse swell.
I wouldn't want to be you because when you die, you might just go to Hell.

A man's birthday only comes around once a year.
You wanted revenge because I drank your last beer.
You decided to get even by ruining my birthday.
You got even by giving me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.

You know that I hate the new Doctor Who, I think it's a piece of crap.
Now you've started crying like a two year old because I gave you a slap.
I loathe the new Doctor Who TV Show and I let everybody know about it.
You bought me a piece of crap for my birthday and it's making me throw a fit.

Even though I apologized for drinking your last beer, you decided to make me pay.
You had an evil grin on your face as you handed me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.
Everybody had to cover their ears because I said a lot of cuss words.
I burned your present because I would've rather been given a ****.

Your wife isn't carrying your baby, she's carrying mine.
She wanted me to marry her but I had to decline.
She didn't want tongues to wag about her being an ***** mother.
She was afraid of people's reactions, that's why she married you after becoming your lover.
She pushed her mother down the stairs because she's very mean.
She posted naked pictures of me on Facebook, she's also obscene.
I'd had enough of her cruel behavior and I decided to dump her then and there.
When I learned she told you that you're the father, I had to tell you because it's unfair.
I can't let her do this to you, I can't and won't keep quiet.
You may not believe me and you may even want to fight.
When the baby is born, I'll tell you what you must do and it will be for the best.
You can prove that she's pulling the wool over your eyes with a DNA test.
I will gladly give her money for child support because it's my baby.
And when I tell you that you must have your marriage annulled, I don't mean maybe.

You think you're not good enough for a girl because she's popular and you're not.
She thinks she's too good for you so she belittles you and it sure hurts you a lot.
She thinks she's too good for you because she considers you to be a nerd.
But you are good enough and when you say you're not, it's absolutely absurd.
You're a great person, you volunteer at a homeless shelter and donate to charities.
She knows about this but she still thinks she's too good when she should be pleased.
Please listen to what I have to say because it's true.
You should find another girl who will appreciate you.

Nine years ago today, you ceased to be a member of the human race.
You died from an abdominal aneurysm and you went to a better place.
You're in Heaven and life up there is a nonstop party every day.
You're in a better place and you went there nine years ago today.
Time does heal wounds but a loved one's death will always leave a scar.
But I'm happy that you're living the good life in Heaven, I know how lucky you are.
When I learned that you were going to die, it was something that was hard to face.
But you're much better off because when your life ended, you went to a better place.

You are an atheist and you say that religion is a fraud.
You say that I'm full of crap because I believe in God.
You say that God is fake and that he didn't create the Human Race.
But when the Second Coming arrives, you will have egg on your face.
You say The Bible is a book that is full of fictional stories.
But when Jesus returns, you will see him in all of his glory.
You call me a fool because religion is something that I embrace.
But you will be the one who looks foolish, you will have egg on your face.

You're  only fifteen years old, you will not have ****** relations under my roof.
You think you can do what you want but you can't and I'll give you the proof.
If you have relations with your boyfriend in my house, I'll send him to jail.
You won't even be able to kiss your boyfriend when he's locked in a cell.
You say that because this is the twenty-first century, you demand ****** privacy.
I'll ground  you for a month if you don't shut up, you don't want to mess with me.
If you have relations with him under my roof, I'll call the cops.
If I catch the two of you having relations in my house, it's something I'll stop.

When I say Zombies ate my neighbors, I'm not talking about a video game.
Zombies ate my neighbors and I'm one of the Zombies who is to blame.
Because my family and I are undead, it put us in very bad moods.
My family and I croaked because our neighbors poisoned our food.
A big corporation was going to pay top dollar for every house on the block.
But when my family and I refused to sell, the neighbors were angry and shocked.
I wouldn't sell the house that I've lived in since I was five.
And that is why my wife and kids and I did not survive.
Our neighbors had a barbecue and my family and I ate the food that they grilled.
But we wouldn't have touched the food if we had known that we would be killed.
My family and I have risen from the grave, we have green skin and are zombies.
When our neighbors saw us, they ****** their pants and cried for their mommies.
Our neighbors killed us because money was something they thought they'd gain.
When we had our homicidal neighbors for supper, we started with their brains.
Our greedy neighbors killed us and we returned the favor.
Stay away from my family and I because human flesh is what we savor.