I stole one of Donald Trump's credit cards five years ago. I spent ten million dollars and prison was where I had to go. I bought a lot of expensive things, including a Ferrari. I committed credit card fraud and I'm not at all sorry. I hid everything I bought really well so that it can't be retrieved. Trump has tried to find it but it's something he hasn't achieved. Trump said he wouldn't press charges if I would give the merchandise back. I gave him the finger and he spat on me so I had to give him a hard smack. I slapped the taste out of the President's mouth and he started crying. Even though Trump hasn't found the merchandise, he won't stop trying. Yesterday, my sister planted a few of the stolen items in Hillary Clinton's house. The police hauled Hillary away in handcuffs and they also arrested her spouse. But Bill resisted arrest so the police had to use tear gas. They also beat him with their billy clubs and kicked his ***. The cops believe that Bill and Hillary were accomplices to my crime. And that almost makes up for me having to do hard time.