I must admit – to other perfect strangers
Never to you, the stranger who wasn’t really stranger,
I was only stranger to you –
Your game was impressive last night,
Your wit and charm, like the prince himself
Your efforts most admirable, quizzing my friends
Then to recite the most beautiful, perfect poetry to me

That star-like glitter in your eyes, like night sky
Caused a secret smile and sudden thuds of my heart.
I know by evening end, when drunken bodies worshiped other guests
And I was still ignoring you, not hard to get, just leaving you a fool
You must have cursed me – or seen me as an excessive ***** –
Slight apologies for not bowing and giving you simple bliss.

Truth is – I desired you so desperately –
Every inch of your imperfect body – all the morsels of your soul
To invite you in and worship you, love you and lay with you
‘Til morning would steal our drunken pleasings
And leave us with awkward reckless, though perfect memories –

You were no stranger to me though,
And it cleft my heart and darkened my soul that I was stranger to thee.
When we were sixteen we were so in love –
Or so future revealed, I with you – you with other girls
I lay on your floor shedding tears, like an animal hairs
Begging you to still love me, to entertain my pleading even.

So last night – as cruel as it is
While you forgot the many kisses I had traced on your lips
And the stories I drew on your spine –
I smiled because even though I was stranger,
Finally -
it was you, whom begged for me.

if they threaten to leave you
if you say no,
then run for the hills kiddo
'cause they're a wolf
trying to attach you to puppet strings.

Self-doubt is like the madness
for which there is no cure.

I find myself hiding
in your dreadful, gentle smile.
It seems to help the pain
as my hearts on standby.

Even though you are gone
My blood is flowing here
From my wrists to the floor
It keeps flowing -
pouring -
trickles -
stops still.

Watching from afar now
You’re going to waste away.
I remember the Winters, Summers -
The actor you were through-out.

The issue's in your eyes -
an inescapable truth!
My heart is empty, veins run dry
still you continue to smile


That dreadful, gentle smile.

Doing to someone else
what has been done to you,

Won't make it any better,
or aid towards fixing you.

Breaking another -
won't make you a whole,
just halfing another
creating another broken soul.

I want to shake off
my private misery
and live a candid life
of my public philosophy

A being split
caught in the crevice
of right and wrong.

The difference between
living and existing -
breathing and dying.

You cannot be found,
if you've never been lost.

Together
we are not
beautiful

Apart
we are
perfect

Alone
we are
nothing.

Had I to write
To make a difference,
Even just of small significance,
I’d write to me.

On a good day
I’d pack all the beauty and wisdom
And lightness of heart,
And address it to me.

When the bad days are there,
And I can’t see up anymore,
When I can’t face the world
Or the reflection of me -

I’d have this sweet letter,
Written from me.

You are the shade of
my nonchalant soul
and as empty
as my heart