Life is good,
But the 3rd act is a shitshow.

In memory of Bill Berkson Poet - Rest in Peace**

...  cantered light-heartedly downstream to their doom.
 — Patrick Leigh Fermor

Somebody down there hates us deeply,
Has planted a thorn where slightest woe may overrun.

Disorderly and youthful sorrow, many divots picked at since
Across the thrice-hounded comfort zone.

Can't cut it, sees permanent crones
Encroaching aside likely lanes of executive tar

All spread skyward.
You got the picture, Bub:

This world is ours no more,
And those other euphemisms for grimly twisting wrath,

A wire-mesh semblance bedecked
With twilight's steamy regard.

Look at the wind out here.
Delete imperative.

Hours where money rinses life like ***,
Whichever nowadays serves as its signifier.

It’s something my parents insisted on,
Preparing for the trials and tribulations our world endures.
Thinking about how I’ll react to impending circumstances.
Overcoming adversity using my heart as well as my mind.

And in my later years I’m starting to understand,
Why they begged me to always be the better man.
So let these words sink in to your heart and mind,
Forget the hate you hear and those that try to trivialize,
The following things I memorized; so many years ago........

I was taught to be the better person
I was taught that relationships were built on honesty
I was taught to be a good listener
I was taught to be polite
I was taught to be patriotic
I was taught to be emotionally open
I was taught to fight against Injustice
I was taught and encouraged to smile often
I was taught to be humble
I was taught to be generous with my belongings
I was taught to feed the hungry
I was taught to have respect for all races
I was taught to have compassion for the less fortunate
I was taught to live by the Golden Rule
I was taught that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment
I was taught a right from a wrong
I was taught to believe in a creator
I was taught that war is a terrible thing
And most importantly;
I was taught that acts of Love & Kindness can change the world.

An Encounter on Muleshoe Bend

Chapter 1 – Meeting Mr. Russell
September 2015.
Walking past the upper geyser basin, I stop for a moment to watch the rising sun give way to a buttermilk sky. Its late Fall in Yellowstone and I’m headed to the Madison River to wet a line before winter sets in.
My eyes scan the field dotted with cow elk and the ever elusive bull over looking his harem from the cover of a quaking aspen forest. He keeps a close eye on me as I cross the field towards the river. The cows continue to graze without moving and my eyes are now focused on a tree that’s felled across the Firehole River. I see what appears to be a person straddling the fallen tree that extends over the entire width of the river.
As I move closer to the river my thoughts are confirmed as I see a man sitting on the fallen tree with one leg propped upon a branch right there in the middle of the river. His horse, grazed in the adjacent field. His shoulder length hair and beard were snow white; he was dressed in buckskin fringed pants and buckskin shirt and wore a wonderful hat that had a turkey feather stuck in on an angle.  I cupped my hands around my mouth and called out to him, “Hey old timer good morning to ya”.
He immediately shouts back “Good day to you sir and I’m no **** old timer”!
I walked hesitantly to the edge of river as he puffed on his clay pipe and said to him “Hey, ah, sorry if I offended you, I certainly didn’t mean to be disrespectful”.
“Make no never mind of that” he replied.
I climbed out on the tree next to him and extended my right hand,  “Hi my names Tom Murphy”.
He kind of half heartedly shook my hand answering “My names Osborne, Osborne Russell”.
I said “Well Mr. Russell it’s a pleasure to meet you”. “This is one hell of a view you have from this tree”.
He said “Well I’ve been coming to this very spot for over 150 years!
“150 years” I exclaimed, “How old are you” I asked.
He acted he like didn’t even hear me. He looked at me with these piercing blue eyes and asked “What’s your business up here son”.
“Well I hope to catch a few trout today sir and you’re welcome to join me if you like”.
“OK he said, I suppose I should keep an eye on you just in case we run into those ornery Nez Pierce Indians”.
I kind of chuckle to myself and say “Ok Mr. Russell, If I’m going to catch any fish this morning we better get a move on”.

END CHAPTER ONE

Memaw & Pepaw ..Mason Dixon Saturday night,
Just sippin' muscadine wine by the Tennessee moonlight
Rockin' chairs...Zenith Black and White
Roy, Buck, Minnie Pearl a Hee Haw delight.

Crickets a chirpin' and a Frogs a croakin'
Toe tapin' rhythm's got em all in motion.
Corn fields swaying like a metronome
Watching those two dance to cotton eye Joe!

Sunday mornings best at the Church of Christ,
Me, I'm Thinkin' bout Memaws country gravy, my fav-o-rite!
Fried Chicken, taters, eggs sunny side right,
These are the memories I like to recite.

Kurt Carman May 1985
A Rise on Neversink
NOTE: It's important for the reader to know that Theodore Gordon was an American writer who fished the Catskill region of New York State in the late 19th century through the early 20th century. Though he never published a book, Gordon is often called the "father of the American school of dry fly fishing. The poem " A Rise on Neversink" is about a boy and his Grandfather fishing on this famous river called Neversink. The spirit of Gordon, who now lives through nature, encourages and speaks to the boy through wind and water.


A RISE ON NEVERSINK

We head upstream past fallen Hemlocks,
Crawling recumbent through advancing grass.
Wetness prevails from the night before,
And seeing us, the Groundhog shakes his head in disbelief.

Sun perched on Doubletop Mountain,
Shown the rising Brown sip his prey.
I wait, another rise boils the riffle.
My eyes question when, Grandpa gives the nod.

The shooting line breaks the winds path,
Invisible leader curls resisting gravity.
The Skater finds its mark, spinning without authority,
Setting a course through the waters force.

Emerald moss, dripping wet jewels,
Deepens the blue-green pool,
Theodore Gordon's reflection shown now,
He smiles, the breeze whispers "tight lines".

Scrambling from my knees I find
the Brown makes his approach, only to show his back.
My heart pounds and only my gut tightens.
Disappointment whelms over, an encouraging nudge prods from behind.

Gordon's voice once again calls,
Performed by the spruce needles murmur,
Patience s s s s s s  
My hands begin to steady, premise clear.

Double hauling as if my life depended.
As beautiful an object of lavish nature produces,
From underneath the Brown assaults, Skater devoured, groping,
Grasped with bent snout, outmaneuvering his prey.

Tippet strained, reel whining fervent praise,
Moving for swift water, he surfaces briefly
Seeking the currents leverage.
He educates his pupil with the magical ploy.

A broken fly rod hangs down in contempt, against the tender Payne rod.
The evening hatch finds sanctuary,
And only the Catskills angling legend lingers in the air.
This lesson complete, the boy dreams.

                                        And Theodore awaits the mourning encore.

As I drifted off last evening, I had no idea I’d see you again.
But there you were in my dream and it was wonderful to see you again my friend.
You made your way through this celestial space to meet me at the roily water’s edge,
And a smile came upon your face and it illuminated the skies.
….”and in the distance, I could hear Wolfgangs “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik” playing”

“How are you John?” I asked.
“I couldn’t be better Kurt because this Kingdom is so special” he replied.
And we tarried there awhile and shared memories with one another,
We reminisced of our childhood, growing up, and our happiest moments in life.
….“I felt as though something in my life had prepared me for this time with him”

As the clouds sped above us, you told me how much you missed your wife and children,
and how much you looked forward to helping them cross this river one day.
More than anything I needed John's help with this question... "If you see my Mom, would you tell her I love her and that I miss her every day?”
He assured me he would do his best to give her the message.
…”And just then, a quote appeared and it read “the smallest deed is better than the greatest intention”

And as I stood on one side of the river and you the other,
I flashed John the live long and prosper gesture and he to me.
He began playing one of my favorites on his Sax, and he disappeared into the clouds above me.
I awoke, still hearing his parting words resonating in my head….
**….Don’t cry because I’m gone, smile because I live on”

As Sunday wakes, I watch the sunrise
Peaking over the yawning Sawtooth Range.

Idaho's Rocky Mountain loving arms wide open
Stretch to embrace the East fork of the Salmon

It’s at this bend I feel the need to take in
All the wonderment, that emerges to take my breath away.

I load my rod and chart a path for my line,
As I spot two survivors, drifting in and out of the undercut.

Feeling good about this, I offer up a clodhopper,
It drifts by unacknowledged, not even a balk.

WTH I think to myself, as I tie on a dropper,
And make one last presentation…………….

“Well I’ll be ******, never seen a trout yawn.”


- K.E. Carman 2017

As the blue moon climbs over the Potomac River,
I lay my tired body down next to the planted field.
Momma tells me that I’ll turn 13 tomorrow; my birthday wish….to be free
Like brail, the scars on my back speak to the humility in my life.
My dog Jip lays beside me and with a warm tongue conveys everything will be fine.

It’s the early fall here at Georgetown University
My name is Cornelius, Cornelius Hawkins and I write these words so you know my plight.
Here with me are my father, mother and 2 yr old sister.
We toil the field from dawn to dusk…the salt herring and cornmeal give us strength.
And my hands are forever clinging to this rosary and I pray God will hear my prayers.

I can’t begin to tell how afraid I am each and every day.
I try not to dwell on our strife and struggles, but day dream of downright happiness.
My family and our ancestors before us have been confined to slavery for 200 years.
Momma always says “There is no slavery, just ignorance”.
I hold her words near and dear to my heart and I never give up hope for a better life.

Once in a place long ago,but not that far away
Lived a Missouri “Show Me Girl”named Bessie Grace.
It was here, at her Catskill home in Margaretville NY that she made all visitors feel welcome.
Goodness, Kindness and tranquility abounded in this place on the hill.

She always found a way to answer my perplexing questions,
With a soft rhetoric that was sure to make you smile.
In a million years I’d never forget all those canned comebacks of hers ,
“The World is a Stage young man” or “We're Like two Peas in a Pod or “Someday I'll mingle with the stars and throw a party on Mars”

These metaphors were her way of teaching you about the world.
One day, my first love ended and Bessie quickly responded “Didn't you know that once your heart's been broken it grows back bigger”
I just looked at her with tear filled eyes and kissed her cheek.
She had such a broad view of life’s peaks and valley’s.


She once said “you know I feel like a cow with a name like Bessie”.
I told her “ With a name like that….You should just pass wind and go full sail ahead.
We laughed until our sides hurt.
Most days she had a pocket full of lemon drops and she would say
“Take a few to sweeten your day honey”

As time passed by quickly, eventually so did Bessie.
And in 1967 she had her party on Mars.
All the stars were there to welcome her to her new home.

She had everyone's attention and to cheers she exclaimed...."My name is Bessie Grace...I'm a Missourah Girl and I've just learned that the day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of our eternity”

At Home with Bessie Grace was added
Sep 7, 2016

i peer through this looking glass,
and watch the high tide fill the arigideen river.
quickly, i walk the path, as i try to catch,
the dusk light over the estuary.

its where the gannet perches to find warmth,
i start a fire to do the same.
in this place, by the sea, i find an all-embracing refuge,
and my eyes converge on the beach below.

bitter-vetch flowers line the path where she walks,
its when my eyes lay sight of her,
i feel that this might well be irelands most beautiful wild flower,
and I think to myself...every day is like Sunday when I see her walk by.

I'll be dreaming tonight..
Yes I'll be dreamin' tonight
Of a Trico hatch that's goes off like a New England snow storm
A Loaded five weight by my side, with plenty of backing to spare.

I'll be dreaming tonight
Of a Montana highway leading me back home,
Home to the Firehole bridge, a purple sky ablaze
Salmo Trutta, my brother from below

I'll be dreaming of Casting tight loops below Kilpatrick Pond,
I catch a glimpse of Ernest smiling on the bank
The Hemingway legacy lives on at Silver Creek
As we wait for the  green drake hatches to fill the air!

I'll be dreaming tonight of days gone by,
When a young boy caught his first German brown.
Neversink, you  beckon me to the days long ago
I feel the force of the river pull me from a deep sleep.

And I awaken to the thought of......Tight Lines!

One Born in October
One Born in November
Four Years Apart
Born of the same gender

Both names contain four letters,
Big brother, the faithful protector.
Albeit they were different, they had
An inseparable love predestined forever.

There is nothing quite like a Caramel Apple Thumbprint Scone
I bought two tonight, one for the road and one for home.
Sometimes I buy one for me and one for Mum,
Didn’t bother to tell her I ate them both…every… last… crumb.

Tonight on my way home I decide to buy a baker’s dozen
The trouble with that is I ate six and got an upset stomach
Now here I sit upon this throne, tootin’ and thinking all alone
That there’s nothing like a Caramel Apple Thumbprint Scone….hic!

K.E. Carman
2017

In many ways we are all simply children,
Age has no barrier does it?
They say it's an individual's state of mind.
Wrinkles are merely character
Grey hair? I'm waiting for the next color to come in. Hoping for Pink...

I think I can refuse to submit to OLD.
I reach back to a 1970 Chicago Tanglewood concert on YouTube.
Was it REALLY 45 years ago?
Does anyone really know what time it is?

Ok, I know I'm biding my time.
I lost my friend last year,
And just before he passed, just before his last breath...
I convinced him that life doesn't end here!

Journey on my brother , journey to the next dimension.
Hug our loved ones..give my upmost love to my Mom & Dad
I KNOW you are there in a distant galaxy because
I can hear you whisper..."he was right".

I love you Buddy!

It’s always this time of year that fills me with so much emotion,
A calloused fear that underserved children will suffer an abomination
And be left with nothing to open on Christmas morn.

It really doesn’t take much effort to put a smile on a childs face.
A toy, wrapping paper, some ribbon, a bow and an embrace.
It’s all up to you to conceive the dream and put it in place.

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” ― Winston S. Churchill

Hard to believe it was 18 Years ago, 1998.
Waiting that long to make love is an unfortunate fate.

A July rain awakens the sleeping nymphs’,
Like old Rip Van Winkle, a yawn & stretch those limbs

Clawing their way out of an earthen cocoon,
Metamorphous begins by the light of the moon.

An electric buzz fills the West Virginia holler,
Charlie Cicada says “Connectin’ with them females is the problem”

And not long after… a loving relationship is bequeathed,
For the less fortunate, the brown trout waits beneath the Sycamore for a tasty treat.

Well there you have it; such is the life of the Brood Cicada,
And for new born nymphs’, it’s time to go sleep until the next Mania.

K.E. Carman 2016

As the Sun sets and the day is done,
I reflect upon my life once more.

The things I did well, but much thought,
Is given to the things I would have changed.

I could have done this, or could have done that,
And if I did........things would have certainly been different.

Life's journey causes us to take a second look at our choices.
It gives us an opportunity to look at our mistakes from all angles.

Life is a drawing with no eraser and thinking is required.

Raise your head and your eyes will follow.

Falling into a dream swept sleep,
I'm guided by two spirit forms,
Drifting through seraphic white rooms
That take my breath away.
Its in this space....well, I just feel at home.

"Taking you to see someone special", they tell me.
Our innerstanding guided us to this endless space.
Spit fire stars and hissing comets shown the way
And when Sagittarius kissed the twins,
The music began to play.

There you were, peaking around a comet.
That amazing smile that always defined you as special.
We danced your hand in mine, spinning without authority...
I told you how great it was to see you again.
You kissed my cheek and we embraced for an eternity.

Day breaks on Doubletop Mountain, shadowing villages below.
Three-thousand eight hundred feet tall, it captures the eye!
And standing at attention there in front of me, a battalion of Sugar Maples in full…. Fall…. Regalia!
Cascading tones of Crimsons, Burgundy, scarlet reds and Golden Hue.

Gazing over Dunk Hill as farmer’s plow  fields, turn again for fertility,
There are only brief streams of life giving sunlight, and now the sky turns to a pale grey.
Me, well I live for this time of year….enjoying the evening autumn constellations,
Or Moms dining table adorned with Indian corn and blackberry canes!

Bessie's Margaretville home begins the fall ritual of canning and drying.
Breaking out winter clothes…as she proclaims "no whites after Labor Day"!
The last bit of warmth now dwells just behind the Catskill’s Harvest Moon,
And the V of geese honk their good-byes to the summer sun.

One of my favorite William Bliss Carman poems...even though a Canadian by birth..it goes without saying that I believe all the Carman's are connected. Bliss I love your heart felt words!

EARTH VOICES

I heard the spring wind whisper

Above the brushwood fire,

“The world is made forever

Of transport and desire.



“I am the breath of being,

The primal urge of things;

I am the whirl of star dust,

I am the lift of wings.



“I am the splendid impulse

That comes before the thought,

The joy and exaltation

Wherein the life is caught.



“Across the sleeping furrows

I call the buried seed,

And blade and bud and blossom

Awaken at my need.



“Within the dying ashes

I blow the sacred spark,

And make the hearts of lovers

To leap against the dark.”



II



I heard the spring light whisper

Above the dancing stream,

“The world is made forever

In likeness of a dream.



“I am the law of planets,

I am the guide of man;

The evening and the morning

Are fashioned to my plan.



“I tint the dawn with crimson,

I tinge the sea with blue;

My track is in the desert,

My trail is in the dew.



“I paint the hills with color,

And in my magic dome

I light the star of evening

To steer the traveller home.



“Within the house of being,

I feed the lamp of truth

With tales of ancient wisdom

And prophecies of youth.”



III



I heard the spring rain murmur

Above the roadside flower,

“The world is made forever

In melody and power.



“I keep the rhythmic measure

That marks the steps of time,

And all my toil is fashioned

To symmetry and rhyme.



“I plow the untilled upland,

I ripe the seeding grass,

And fill the leafy forest

With music as I pass.



“I hew the raw, rough granite

To loveliness of line,

And when my work is finished,

Behold, it is divine!



“I am the master-builder

In whom the ages trust.

I lift the lost perfection

To blossom from the dust.”



IV



Then Earth to them made answer,

As with a slow refrain

Born of the blended voices

Of wind and sun and rain,

“This is the law of being

That links the threefold chain:

The life we give to beauty

Returns to us again.”

It’s something I think about often,
Do we fully understand the fragility of this life we possess?

And suddenly a loved one is taken …it inflames you to think.
Every consciousness is a precious and fragile gift.

These lives of ours are fleeting, gone in a minute.
When you suddenly understand this, everything fades into the background.

Pushing 70 now… I choose to soar out of bed joyfully rejoicing each morning,
That life has granted me another day above the dirt.

Life is strong and weak…it’s a paradox.
Keep your mind strong my friends, don’t hide behind your fears.

This life of yours is an amazing gift….live it with a smile!

She walks down this path so many Mothers have walked before her,
Crisp uniforms line the path..a heavy heart..Tears in her lap.
An American Flag snaps to attention as if to say we know your pain Mother, but we don’t.
Through this all, she carries on the pride and resolve despite an unthinkable loss.

The twenty-one gun salute resonates through every city in America
Reminding everyone to take a moment to honor this fallen son.
On the 6 O’clock news Taps plays on every television.
And we shake our head in disbelief.

An unbroken line of Patriots that passed before him,
Line the stairway to heaven to welcome their brother home.
And a banner hangs in Moms living room window..Displaying  one Gold, two blue stars
“Lord please bring my boys home safely”, she prays

I hope you’ll think of some of the reasons why our brave sons & daughters make the ultimate sacrifice…..Here are just a few……..

The American Flag
Our military men and women
Freedom
Patriotism
America the Beautiful
Land of the Free
Home of the Brave
4th of July
Memorial Day
The Bald Eagle
Democracy
Free Enterprise

God Bless America!

Found out today that a grand baby
Is due to arrive in November, the very first.
Anticipation whelms over, I take a deep breath,
And step into the warm sun light to take this all in!

Thoughts race through my mind
What will it be boy or girl? - Note to self “Hey man does it really matter”
Praying for health, ten fingers and ten toes,
And an extraordinary heart and soul!

We've  been anticipating this moment for the last nine months,
I feel our spirit force watching over this child that's about to take a bow.

Our eyes wide open as we see him for the very first time,
And Family spirits past fill the room to honor this special moment.

Thoughts of family ****** features start to become visible,
Pepaw's ears, Memaw's nose, Dads Chin, Moms cheeks and an exceptional heart.

Memaw and Pepaw love you Hunter!
Born: 11/4/ 2016
8.2 Lbs
20" tall

I can’t explain this empty feeling,
A heartache…..painfully revealing,
The sad news of a loved one’s passing,
A picture, a remembrance, Psalm 23 grasping.

It’s in these fleeting moments we try to reconcile,
Why we did or didn’t use time more worthwhile.
I’m praying that serenity will fill your heart and mind,
To triumph over this mournful time.

K.E. Carman
12-OCT-2016

Today we remember your legacy through the words Aeschylus

"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget
Falls drop by drop upon the heart,
Until, in our own despair,
Against our will,
Comes wisdom
Through the awful grace of God."

"When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses." ~JFK

I dream a million fireflies transporting me to this space
A Moon shadow casts a light upon my face.
A Young boy dreaming of tight lines on this Kinderhook NY stream,
Water droplets on frozen fly line, cast a prism sunbeam.

It's this time and special place that etches a constant memory,
Of Standing on that rock casting tight loops across the estuary.
Practice makes perfect as I make a presentation towards this riffle,
I can see a smile on my face, a moment in time that's purely transcendental.

With hope on the rise and a pheasant tail nymph tied to my tippet,
I make my way past the roily water to a calmer spot I'll inhibit.
Stripping line I load this feather chucker and place a nymph on the breezers nose
Zzzzzzz screams my reel and I scramble to fight this foe

As the snow begins to fall, I gaze upon this look of contentment in my eyes
And hover from above to watch myself learning to fly.
I whisper to myself, " Man life doesn't get any better than this",
As I kneel to release my catch, I watch him glide into the abyss.

And at day's end, I find myself walking beside the memory of Lou, Theodore, and Jack,
Three mentors who showed me the way, part of my Wulff pack.
Some Say "if I fished only to capture fish, my trips would have ended long ago",
And now I have something that money can't buy, the gift of learning to fly.

Life is a progression of r====
                                           o====
                                               a====
                                                   d====
                                                       s====
Making good choices lightens the load.
Feet firmly planted on the road less traveled
2020 Hindsight will make your dreams unravel.

                                                  -K.E.­ Carman

I may never be a Nolan Ryan fastball pitcher,
But I can play any position the coach asks of me and I’m a helluva hitter.
Try to be a sponge in everything I do,
Resourcefulness, Adaptability and Work Ethic are your conquest clues.

So make every second count young person!!
Wear your heart on your sleeve..express yourself for all to see!!!
And as Dale Carnegie once said…Be the better person and don’t worry about anyone talking incompetence
Cause “Unjust criticism is often a disguised complement”!

-K.E. Carman
Dale Carnegie – How to win friends and influence people

Trying to Breathe**

I'm sure when my Mom brought me into this world,
She would have never imagined I would have done something so stupid.
That day 1964 is still clear as hell..blowing clouds of "killa" with my very first smoke.
Kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette all on the sameday..Milestone..NOT
Nothing but a cool fool...So Cool.....My *** was frosted over!

This COPD death sentence reeks of a smell you never get rid of.
Shallow strained breathing keeps time with syncopated heart beats.
And if your a smoker my friend I know this message is gonna get your attention.
Let the message sink in and swirl around your head like those clouds of "killa".
And remember this................

"You can't delete racism. It's like a cigarette, you can't stop smoking if you don't want to and you can't delete racism if people don't want to. But I'll continue do everything I can to help!"

-K.E. Carman 2015

Isn’t it interesting how some people are caught up in their dream world?
Broadcasting “Life Is Good” …unaware of those living in the real world.
Self indulging humans only thinking of themselves,
When there so much they could contribute to those that lack wealth.

For God sake, get off Facebook and make a difference in someone’s life.
Share your heart with them and help them wipe the tears from their eyes.
Put some greenbacks in their pocket; be there often to be a mentor and a best friend.
And maybe someday you’ll help them ascend to the life is good trend.

Why are babies aged by the month?
Oh Jimmy is 14 months
And Oh Sally is 22 months old now
And blah blah blah

And once we reach the terrible two's
Our ages are so important that we now broadcast them in half years.
How old are you Jimmy...Beaming, he declares "I'm 6 & 1/2 Yrs Old!"
How old are you Sally...Shyly smiling she boasts "I'm 7 & 1/2 Yrs Old!"

I think by the time I reached 9 yrs old,
I felt it was no longer cool to announce my age in half years
How old are you Jimmy...In a yodeling  & cracking voice he replies "I'm 14"
How old are you Sally...."I just turned 18"...Well hot **** your all growd up!

14 months and 22 months are still 1 year old in my book.
But the 14th month old crawls and the 22 month old walks
6-1/2 is still only six but when we're young we are always in a rush to be an adult.
And in our teenage years we become "know it all's", but not really.

Ever heard "Yeahs she's 10 going on 21 yrs old."
Next time you open your eyes she's off to college.
14 year old Boys dreaming of four spinnin' wheels
And now he's driving the baby home from the hospital.

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.
Time is free but you can never get it back.
So slow the hell down and enjoy your life, your wife, your girl friend, your boy friend or your significant other, your kids, your grand kids,  your family and your Friends!

Did you ever have one of those days,
That causes more than a few eyebrows to raise?
Black clouds looming inside your head,
And fools rush in where angels fear to tread? (a.pope)

Then start by lifting up just one corner of your mouth
Point it towards the sky, DO NOT go south.
And with your index finger, push up the other flection,
Keep it right side up in the very same direction!

With this smile take a long deep and meaningful breath,
And Sing a song that warms your heart...as your mind forgives & forgets.
Stand tall young one, cause your living in the light,
This day has past but tomorrow you'll reignite!

Sometimes when people can’t see you for whom you are,
They try to force you to be someone you really aren’t.
Real beauty is being true to oneself, Not by trying to be someone your not
A flower cannot change its color nor can Spring become Fall.

Don’t lose the person you really are
Because you are you and only you;
The mold was broke when they formed your star
Cheer up young one don’t be blue

I once knew a boy who always bought shoes two sizes larger,
Because he couldn’t bare the ridicule of having small feet.
You see, when you were conceived, genetically you became one of kind.
There’s no else like you, and believe it or not we all have physical imperfections.

Don’t lose the person you really are
Because you are you and only you;
The mold was broke when they formed your star
Cheer up young one don’t be blue

I once knew a boy who was thin as a stalk of corn,
And he if turned sideways and stuck out his tongue, He looked like a zipper.
He would get teased unmercifully, but if he had done just one think different,
Because when you laugh at your own flaws, disparagement and criticism are defeated.

Don’t lose the person you really are
Because you are you and only you;
The mold was broke when they formed your star
Cheer up young one don’t be blue

**Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions,
          it is governed by our mental attitude ~Dale Carnegie

We as humans tend to put off living,
Forgetting to take the time to smell the proverbial roses.
You know the ones that grow just outside your front door?
Take a few minutes, close your eyes and begin to breathe again.

Celebrating life each day is a rite of passage.
It’s a virtue our creator gifted us with.
It makes ones soul fulfilled and allows us to project a positive energy.
So reach out…And feel the earth move while your inner self embraces the Universe

If you have forgotten how to listen to the birds song or the grasshoppers chirp,
Or to observe a sleepy orange caterpillar crawl to the next branch,
Or watch the cutthroat trout sip a spent mayfly from the surface of a stream,
Then the earth is calling you to return to your conception!!


Stop dreaming of the magical rose garden and enjoy the roses blooming outside your windows today - **Dale Carnegie

Cat’s song whirls me back to that time in my life,
Back to the “Wild-World” years.
I close my eyes, trying to evoke,
All the special moments we spent together.

As I sit here gathering all the forgotten remnants…I focus on a blurred image of your face.
And in a twinkling, I’m transported to our place on the Hudson we loved so much
Do you recall watching the Sunset and our passion rise?
As we move closer together, our eyeglasses complicate the moment…we try to contain the laughter

Fast forward to a forgotten Berkshire dirt road,
A faded AM station declares “Treat her like a lady”.
I catch a glimpse of the sparkle in your eyes…
And your evanescent smile…as you lean over and kiss my cheek.

When the day is nearly done, we walked; your hand in mine to Promenade Hill
And as we lay there counting stars you whisper “Take the ribbon from my hair”
Only the man in the moon can speak to the adoration we once had for one another.
Petrified memoirs of an opportunity squandered

As this vision begins to fade,
Like the golden clouds of dust in my rearview mirror,
I find myself in the here and now.
Your voice echoes in my head

I’ll never forget…….

Your amazing smile,

Gazing in your beautiful eyes,

The way you made me laugh,

….And the ribbon in your hair.

When the harvest moon,
climbs above the Horizon, my mind finds you.

When the Thunder sounds,
a glint of how strong our love was, fills my eyes.

As the trees sway to and fro,
i remember our walk through the cadence of flowering fields

And as the rain falls down,
so did our love end so many years ago.

But As the sun peeks through the clouds,
I see a ray of hope and that’s enough for me.

My 72

Most mornings when I arise,
The thoughts of you run through my mind.
I stare at your high school picture wrapped in Crimson and blue
You've left me and dad, left us to soon at 42.

And now I'm left to look through all those old photos
To get a glimpse of the way you were in sober days,
You know the one, with you & Auntie in the snow on Albany Avenue
Smiling as if your world never stopped, as if you had no idea....

As I stood watching them lay your body to rest...
My feet no longer touched the ground, weightless, I reached towards the sky
I cried out for you to take me to your new home.  
The wind moaned, the lighting kissed the sky and the rain caressed my face.

Here I lay on the rain soaked ground pitying myself
How, Mom ....do I begin to handle this void in my life.
And I realize that the misery and affliction
Must not consume my mind and soul...

Out of silence the blue bird warbles a message of calmness.
The breeze wraps its arms tightly around me as if to say,
Young man, "I'm here to dry your tears and give you warmth."

I wish for nothing more than to hear you say... I love you.

NINETEEN

We walk together through scorched ravines.
Cutting paths through ashen yellowed undergrowth.
Beads of perspiration, our faces flushed,
The gusting wind embraces us as if to hold us back from completing our objective.

Six minutes of Safety our mission, premise clear,
We attack the fire with grit & opposing force.
Smoldering vegetation extinguished beneath our feet
And a Jack Rabbit makes his move to escape the approaching flames.

And in the distance, the Demon ‘Fire’ & his accomplice ‘shifting winds’ plan their conspiracy,
They look down upon there victims with malicious contempt.
Hands clenched as if to enjoy their fatal actions….
And with swift exploit they entrap the men.

As the men peer through the flames they see Angels on the Horizon.
And they arrive to carry off their heroes to paradise.
Making their way through the Milky Way……. past Jupiter & Mars,
Bound for a place called “The New Jerusalem”.

A welcoming carpet of stars marks their arrival and the Son shone bright!
And as they approach the city, their smiling faces are welcomed by oceans of loved ones & friends afar.
No more tears, no more pain, no more worries…only happiness abounds
Because the hotshots from Granite Mountain have arrived home, safe and sound.

-Kurt Carman 2014

NINETEEN

We walk together through scorched ravines.

Cutting paths through ashen yellowed undergrowth.

Beads of perspiration, our faces flushed,

The gusting wind embraces us as if to hold us back from completing our objective.



Six minutes of Safety our mission, premise clear,

We attack the fire with grit & opposing force.

Smoldering vegetation extinguished beneath our feet

And a Jack Rabbit makes his move to escape the approaching flames.



And in the distance, the Demon ‘Fire’ & his accomplice ‘shifting winds’ plan their conspiracy,

They look down upon there victims with malicious contempt.

Hands clenched as if to enjoy their fatal actions….

And with swift exploit they entrap the men.



As the men peer through the flames they see what seems to be Angels on the Horizon.

And they arrive to carry off their heroes to paradise.

Making their way through the Milky Way……. past Jupiter & Mars,

Bound for a place called “The New Jerusalem”.



A welcoming carpet of stars marks their arrival and the Son shone bright!

And as they approach the city, their smiling faces are welcomed by oceans of loved ones & friends afar.

No more tears, no more pain, no more worries…only happiness abounds

Because the hotshots from Granite Mountain have arrived home, safe and sound.

Remembering the 19 Granite Mountain Firefighters we lost 4 years ago - I wrote this one for the boys - RIP


We walk together through scorched ravines.

Cutting paths through ashen yellowed undergrowth.

Beads of perspiration, our faces flushed,

The gusting wind embraces us as if to hold us back from completing our objective.



Six minutes of Safety our mission, premise clear,

We attack the fire with grit & opposing force.

Smoldering vegetation extinguished beneath our feet

And a Jack Rabbit makes his move to escape the approaching flames.



And in the distance, the Demon ‘Fire’ & his accomplice ‘shifting winds’ plan their conspiracy,

They look down upon there victims with malicious contempt.

Hands clenched as if to enjoy their fatal actions….

And with swift exploit they entrap the men.



As the men peer through the flames they see what seems to be Angels on the Horizon.

And they arrive to carry off their heroes to paradise.

Making their way through the Milky Way……. past Jupiter & Mars,

Bound for a place called “The New Jerusalem”.



A welcoming carpet of stars marks their arrival and the Son shone bright!

And as they approach the city, their smiling faces are welcomed by oceans of loved ones & friends afar.

No more tears, no more pain, no more worries…only happiness abounds

Because the hotshots from Granite Mountain have arrived home, safe and sound.

NINETEEN

We walk together through scorched ravines.
Cutting paths through ashen yellowed undergrowth.
Beads of perspiration, our faces flushed,
The gusting wind embraces us as if to hold us back from completing our objective.

Six minutes of Safety our mission, premise clear,
We attack the fire with grit & opposing force.
Smoldering vegetation extinguished beneath our feet
And a Jack Rabbit makes his move to escape the approaching flames.

And in the distance, the Demon ‘Fire’ & his accomplice ‘shifting winds’ plan their conspiracy,
They look down upon there victims with malicious contempt.
Hands clenched as if to enjoy their fatal actions….
And with swift exploit they entrap the men.

As the men peer through the flames they see Angels on the Horizon.
And they arrive to carry off their heroes to paradise.
Making their way through the Milky Way……. past Jupiter & Mars,
Bound for a place called “The New Jerusalem”.

A welcoming carpet of stars marks their arrival and the Son shone bright!
And as they approach the city, their smiling faces are welcomed by oceans of loved ones & friends afar.
No more tears, no more pain, no more worries…only happiness abounds
Because the hotshots from Granite Mountain have arrived home, safe and sound.

-Kurt Carman 2013

One of my favorite writers and naturalist John Burroughs. I've read a lot of his essays and think he's one of America's greatest treasures*

"In October, a maple tree before your window lights up your room like a great lamp. Even on cloudy days, its presence helps to dispel the gloom."
-John Burroughs

Eyes closed, I clear my mind,
Meditation breathing, stars aligned
Letting go I begin to soar
A delightful destination, a feeling of warmth.

And when clouds fill my skies
I simply rise above to bluer highs
Because If I think of beneficent thoughts
I can change the world a lot.

And when the sunshine fills my eyes
I spread my wings and begin to fly.
Soaring right through trouble and despair
Putting a smile on my face with love to share!

Like the four seasons, we are all delicate...
In Winter each snowflake is unique
in Spring the blossoming flower carries much mystique
The Summer rain washes our soul complete
And in the Fall we renew our souls for all to see!

It's days like this one, Mothers Day,
That I once again try to make sense of it all.
Trying to understand why you left us so suddenly at 46.

Closing my eyes I think of our happiest moments,
The possibility of seeing you again if only in my dreams,
And the excitement of our impending reunion one day.

The annual blooming of Pink Drift Roses,
Explains my never ending love for you.
Even the Butterflies know your name.

...And they return each summer to kiss the sun and light upon your shoulder.

I Love You Mom

Wishing I could I write a poem for you,
You've been gone 18 years today.
I did find this quote on an Irish headstone
It explains nicely how I feel about you!

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal
Love leaves a memory no one can steal

**Pops I look forward to having a beer with you on the other side of fence!