"Better days are coming," they say.
*But from which direction?

I am sorry
we met and for long savoured that fate
that you dared to happily ever after contemplate
I am sorry
it was so right for a while when we gobbled every mile
so much you thought it would always be but a smile
I am sorry
you expected so much from a heart with so little to give
I am sorry
I spoke about the sun and you heard of sunrise
I am sorry
I was meaning the journey but you thought of the destination
I am sorry
you hoped I would answer every question
sorry I plucked you roses and you didn't see the thorns
I am sorry
it wasn't a walk in the park or it was but the Serengeti
I am sorry
when I pointed to the clear night you felt it would never rain
I am sorry
I bathed you in pleasure and you forgot there's pain
I am sorry
I held you so tight you didn't prepare for when we drift apart
I am sorry
you swam to the deep end and coming out broke your Heart
I am sorry
you thought reality could be like the movies
where you forevermore enjoy the Angelic showbiz
I am sorry
you grew up way too soft but had to learn the hard way
I am sorry
our parting ways was too much a price for you to pay
but I am not sorry for the moments I confessed my affection
the many times I said I love you and you said it too
for there was a time, I swear this to you,
there was a time those words were so true

Her eyes flutter soon as they sense someone encroaching
Her nose in fear of uncertainty starts running
Like a Dear in sight of a predator approaching
As her hanky is sent up her nose cleaning

I get a closer look at her beautiful *******
Their sudden rise like a volcanic plug
Or cunning waves in an Ocean with gigantic crests
But soon as I’m close enough all she gets is a hug

Then I place my head on hers close enough to her lips
Which tremble probably in fear of the belief all speech is lies
While all through a burning urge to kiss her hard at me nips
Seeing tears of doubt gather clouding the skies of her eyes

Her heart beats too violent for someone of her age
Seems she’s grown to believe for love,pain’s her only wage

And when I finally find love, I will breathe out
There's so many things I will speak about.
I will tell her about my dreams which all did doubt
my deafening silence in a quiet shout
I  will tell her about the cold that took me captive
how loneliness made my love life inactive
she will have to know how hectic it is to travel alone
something I have done since I was born.
I will tell her all the mistakes I made
in the course of exorcising the monsters in my head
when I find love I'll tell her of how everything did go wrong
How I waited for so ****** long
when I find love I'll place her finger above my chest
and let it rest,for life's test would have aced
when I find love I'll bury the past
and forget the thorny hilly roads passed
when I find love this time I'll be willing
to bow and respect every feeling.

I'm chasing the wrong dreams
so I might as well catch them
Wheels on rims
I guess I got to trust them
The game is the game whether I win or lose
I'm sticking to my wheels amid the chants ,past the boos
I'm caught up in the moment
Trapped in the torment
See things don't come fast life ain't no comet
It's unpredictable, won't rhyme as a sonnet
So I gotta be patient,though it stings like a hornet
And it's hard,call it finding a soulmate
I'm going without breaks
Albeit it pours ducks and drakes
Up for the bend, I'll see this till the end
I'm giving hope a chance
And faith another glance
Time keeps ticking, opportunities I'm seeking
Things are loading I can hear guns clicking
I'll do this like an addict, a day a packet of cigars
Or say serial killer,won't rest till I pull some triggers
I was born to rhyme for my time
Wisdom and philosophy is my crime
I see company in solitude
Longitude in latitude and
there's an altitude in my attitude
I don't do this for the sake
Like a hip hop beat for the shake
It's my therapy so like music
many dance to my bullets
And find solace in the sarcastic missiles I shoot
I'm an owl for the night
have no fright when I hoot
It's that scary melody that
might in a day fatten my wallet
It's a sad story to tell
that I see the world as it should be
*And live in it as it is,for I'm swayed
by winds of karma like the trees
But you'll realise we deserve better
when you add twos and the threes
It's just a gamble with words
trying to fix all them shards
I live everyday getting prepared for the worst
Funny when it comes it's like I didn't
Most tines I wish I hadn't but then
Wishes, if they were donkeys all else would ride
Hard to conceal all pains inside
Sometimes it feels like all has died
With only breath surviving having nowhere to hide
But we all know nowhere is such a safe place
And survival's just a game of chess
Sometimes I say things I too don't understand
But then why should I understand when I said them
If I said them I thought, if I thought I sought
If I sought it's from my mind or I bought
If I bought they were cheap otherwise it's the little wisdom I got
They never stop flowing they're like a river
And they're the phantoms in my head silently loud as a weaver
And I bleed them in lines and rhymes as a cure
To the breath of the ennui I endure
It's the greatest terrors on rolling wheels
It's me hiking the fears like rolling mills

We met we smiled, we fell don't know if you remember... I remember the clouds were at war with the sun trying to stop him from burning like hell as you understand the scotch in December, but it wasn't that haze that made my heart burn for as soon as the ice in my soul was melted and the river of my passion started running again, I knew you were the bulb to be set at the front of my train and the warm orb with the Vitamin D for my sceptic wounds to turn into scar since my nomadic childhood had bruised me hard and torn me off the mass of attachment into a frigid island of desolation... As soon as I saw your teary eye twinkle like a star in the sky I knew I was on the right avenue even if I knew not my destination. In fact, I didn't need to know because you were someone I'd walk with as long as I lived and never want to rest. A wave that I'd surf to the dangerous crest even if I was a hydrophobic...a wave that swept me off my feet and totally changed my heartbeat...You found me confused and taught me which thread of emotion meant what. You found me too young and naive and taught me every little thing I know... Don't know if you remember but I remember the day we first hugged and you trembled in my arms, the peck in your neck... the evening walks to the golf course and our first kiss, it wasn't your first, but it was mine and it felt like your first or at least that's what you kept saying in two years. Those were the happiest and shortest years of my life for it was like I had everything I ever wanted... we always kept our promises, when I said I would call, I would… Gosh! It was great being yours and I'd do whatever to rewind even when I already know the ugly ending to the beautiful story...You taught me so much, right from who I didn't know I was to what I didn't know I needed, like novels and literature and you to understanding what it took to be a man... There was only one thing you didn't teach me, moving on once it was over... But am getting there, I know I keep saying that and you're tired of hearing it, I just hope someday I can look back and smile like you do otherwise I shall never forget those beautiful moments for as long as I shall live, so many unforgettable things you taught me, even the painful.... How can I ever thank you for the lessons that I learnt?

I didn't ask for a broken heart
Neither did I want the hurt
All I wanted was a ride to forever
Whether a smooth or a bumpy ride
Even if few have reached that place
I just needed a little favor
To be the only one in your embrace
Prayed that you lend me some of your trust
To oil the hinges of our love and keep them free of rust
I needed a bit of your faith, I needed you to believe
I hoped you'd stick around and never leave
All I wanted was some room to be a real man
Besides an opportunity to call you mine
A Romeo and Juliet story,at worst a Bonnie and Clyde

He knelt and begged her not to leave, not again
his salary, elusive and causing unbearable strain
He pondered all the patience and the pain
Enduring hardships, hoping for financial gain

When was he going to learn, he wondered aloud,
That salary's fickle and loose not to mention proud
Still he pleaded, "Stay with me, be my loyal friend"
"This time I'll budget and save, let this menacing cycle end"

But salary whispered in a cold, distant tone
"I'll come and go as I please, you'll barely notice that I am gone"
Yet he clung to her, with a desperate plea
Begging, "salary, please don't abandon me."

I notice the night's no longer whole because you never call
yet a big part of me still wants to see your face...
just so you know I still hear your voice down the hall
and smell your fragrance in the air polluted by the flowers
with the part of me that still believes my arms are your place
your final destination as you're my constant hallucination
so I spend every little micro second of my daily hours
hoping for a miracle, wishing I were an endless tentacle
or even Heracles, to divert the Augean of your Heart
and have the magma of your passion flow back into my soul
so that I can once again be the whole
_______________
You were right and I was wrong, without you I ain't strong
Am tired of waiting for a tomorrow, that's free of you and free of sorrow
Tired of holding my breath, it ****** feels like the sigh of death
And my mind wandering, why won't you come and save me?
come and save me, save me love..
_______________
I have run, from wine to ***, to every end of this cold earth I could roam
your silence is deafening loud, hitting my ears harder than echos of a drum
hanging on perilously like a derailed speeding Tram...
for am out of ways of lulling my mind from chaos back to calm
My life's a dark night without a single star, my soul a million a scar
you were not my world, I was wrong about that too
you are my galaxy and there's no existence without you
I'd surrender all this to just one more time hold your hand,
a thousand years to see your footprints next to mine on the sand
for a minute with you, I'd give away forever, be it for a second or less
after all momentary completeness I guess is better than a lifetime mess
you should see me now, shredded like a sensitive document no longer needed
maybe you succeeded
________________
Y­ou were right and I was wrong, without you I ain't strong
Am tired of waiting for a tomorrow, that's free of you and free of sorrow
Tired of holding my breath, it ****** feels like the sigh of death
And my mind wandering, why won't you come and save me?
come and save me, save me love..

To someone like me, it has always been easy to pen down the pain
than to just dump it in the violently flowing rivers of the past
and forget it ever happened, it's been easy to etch every bit of it on the rocks
everyday and admire each and every melancholic tear it brought
it has been sour sweet painting every ugly scar and every bruise
and admire the blemishes on dirtied canvas than let heal
those grotesque wounds without any memo to remind me
because to me the hurt has but been an adventure on the map of my destiny
I've sailed past hard waves, I've gone through dark oceans
to both poles of the sphere and witnessed how cold this world can be
and I've even juxtaposed the north pole to the south
I've climbed the mountains I thought impossible,
hiked even the steepest of cliffs,sometimes fallen and fractured
I've gone against caution and whence my ribs ruptured
healed and painted the despondent healing process yet gone
ahead to find fresh memory to paint, to write, to etch.
I've not wasted my mistakes, not a single tear has gone for nothing
for some should learn from mistakes of those who lived before them
and if life is too short and uncertain to live to tell
let the marks on the rocks at the pinnacles tell the story,
let the sad painting on the canvas do,the sculptures
let the cacographs make sense to eyes keen enough to squeeze out some sap of wisdom
I've not cried, bruised, battled or stumbled for nothing
it is not for nothing I've lived my life the way I've lived
with no manual or mentor to point out the rough edges
the looming pitfalls and risks of living in the twilight zone on the fringes
it's not by mistake that the ship of life is rudderless to most of us
every bruise, every mistake, every imperfection has its page
just as every century, every decade and every millennium has its age
I often write about the uncertainty I live so that someday
someone will be grateful I spared some time to say
that those who didn't err,who didn't whimper,
who didn't have the luxury of looking struggle in the eye
and walk side by side with her didn't really know the truth about life
because it's from the tears that comes the beautiful smile
after the blunder that lies the precious stones of a mile
after the pain that comes the long awaited gain
for the star filled clear blue skies always show after the stormy rain
I pen my pain time and again, because laughter's easily forgotten
but the pains are like plastics, so close to impossible seeing them rotten

You took my breath away perfecting your sigh
I lost my wings teaching you how to fly
you know, it cost me my smile to diminish your cry...
I lost my way seeking to find you a path
and my shine to enhance your glow...
I lost reason struggling to build your thought
plus my vision attempting to make you see
that I was manacled just to set you free.
to see you rise I fell, you deserved a fairytale
I gave up my heaven to put you out your hell.
I lost my grip keeping you in touch, my faith inspiring you to church
healed your wound I got a scratch, amputated trying to be your crutch
I hated showing you how to truly love
and to keep you on the straight I had to swerve
for ours was a seesaw, I lifted you high whilst dropping low,
I lost all I had to provide the plenty you sought
because I valued you so much I forgot my worth

She is sore, burnt by sparks from the flames of desire
there is no treasure to find in the land far away;
yet, the journey home is as tiring as the stay.
The ocean of opportunity, once pictured in vibrant hues,
stretches before her in muted tones, its waves carrying
not the promises but the weight of disillusionment.
The sky above, once a canvas of dreams, now painted grey with clouds of doubt,
casting shadows on the path she knew, or thought!
The laughter that lingered is drowned by the silence of shattered dreams
The friendly whispers, once a soothing melody, now resound as hollow echoes,
stark reminders of friendships dissolved like mirages in the desert of reality.
The road paved with anticipation is a maze of uncertainties,
each turn leading to a dead end of unmet expectations.
The once vibrant petals of hope have withered,
replaced by the thorns of disappointment, pricking at her spirit with every step.
The starry nights that were supposed to hold her wishes
now seem like distant constellations, beyond her reach,
lost in the vast expanse of unfulfilled aspirations.
The roads of life are perilous now more than ever
for her knight of courage upped and left in the dead of night ...
She can't even tread on the shore of optimism
as what should have been warm sand is a swamp of alligators waiting to bite...

An artist doesn't stop loving the art after he has painted
The sun doesn't stop to shine after the sunset
Neither does breathing cease after we've fainted
Nor jungle cacophony after Elephant silencing his trumpet
The road doesn't end when you reach a destination
The moon doesn't give up It's glow when blanketed by clouds
An answer doesn't end it all, there's always another question
And loneliness cannot be evaded by hiding in crowds
Out of sight doesn't always mean out of mind
Going uphill doesn't mean life will never *****
Walking down your road doesn't mean you ain't blind
Sometimes the blind lip of faith doesn't necessarily require hope
So it doesn't mean I'll get over you when I finally move on
The wounds always heal, but the scars live on

It isn't that years later
I realize you deserved better
I always knew, nothing new
That the best is what's meant for you
It's difficult swallowing my pride
Yet I for so long tried
That I need you now's a secret
Which I badly pray you're told
Otherwise It's the undone I regret
I hate that instead of warm I was cold
I hate that my arms were a den
It should have been different then
The mask of the endless pain I bear
Is right underneath the smiles I wear
But I'm proud to say our being happy together
When we wrote hind every picture "Forever”
Is worth these times I cry alone
Though it seems for good you're gone
I've fought thoughts about you thousand times
While I secretly write you rhymes
Hoping that somewhere out there
Silent whispers tell you I still care