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3d · 55
Wreckage
You needed a boat for self discovery
guided me to a cherished recovery
yes, I healed but you broke me again
Left me how you found me, in pain...
Like a stranger in your home
worse than walking in a storm
If it's not your place,
you'll stay but never belong...
3d · 55
Life
It doesn't get any easier
if anything it gets busier...
3d · 44
The Return
I've walked this ****** road for long
maybe I need to return to where it started
to understand where it all went wrong...
3d · 505
Old friend
Am better than yesterday
but worse than tomorrow...
nothing else left to say,
so long my old friend sorrow...
3d · 33
Love Came Along
I am afraid of being strong, I've been that before and it took
almost a decade to remove the barricades when love finally came along.
I am afraid of learning to be alone again
because once my mind learns of the beauty of desolation
it'll burn all the bridges and I'll shut myself behind closed doors.
Am afraid of learning to live with the pain of a broken heart,
I can't let my soul taste the bitter sweet of breaking apart...
I just want to be weak until I can find strength again,
I want to cry until there's no more tears for at the very end of grief lives relief.
I don't want to flip the switch, I've been down that road,
it's a very long one, this time I might not come back from it.
I don't want to be strong, strength is my weakness.
Mar 31 · 120
Changes
I loved to change
I changed to love
Mar 31 · 127
Enough
If you can't love me enough to let him go love me enough to let me go.
Jan 29 · 207
Dreams
Never give up on a dream that fought for you
and never fight for a dream that gave up on you...
Jan 29 · 130
For the World to Shatter
I will rise with the sun of hope when all is said and done
I will flow with the river of faith wherever I can
I will spin the wheel of desire, and once again burn
I will follow the road of passion, I'll take every turn
I will bear the storms of affection however perilous
listening to the silence of loneliness and shout of jealous
I will let my soul wander for that's how I'll be pious
when my mind finally let's go, when it tires...
I will follow my heart to the end of the road, my feet are willing
until there's no more smithereens for the world to shatter
then fly on the wings of time in search of healing
and maybe I'll find it or not, maybe it doesn't matter...
Maybe that's the purpose of life, to rise and fall
to walk across fields in joy, step on a thorn and howl
to calm after a storm, to find in a stranger a home
no matter the risks and danger, then return to stranger
to give your all and lose everything including your soul
to spin the wheel, to fly and perch... to believe and doubt...
with beautiful dreams to inspire and nightmare to scare
but I will rise with the sun of hope for I'd rather choke than breathe despair...
Dec 2018 · 98
You
Ignatius Hosiana Dec 2018
You
are going to hurt me
and I'll write a thousand
pieces about you...
Then long after you've
moved on I'll fall again
for someone like you,
and I'll say these beautiful
things to them, albeit
they'll as well bring joy
soaked in pain...
Nov 2018 · 123
Plenty
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2018
There's more fish in the lake,
but I have let a million off my hook
because albeit there are plenty more,
they'll never be you,
you'll always be my favorite catch...
I'll never stop scurrying the waters,
even when it's clear we might
never hook up again...
Nov 2018 · 172
AnD
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2018
AnD
Those who fight to change history
usually change to fight history
Nov 2018 · 421
Calm & Storm
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2018
It's crazy but her smile is the shine I crave
when the mellow orb of dawn hits the sky
her voice the melody I wish was weaved in her chorus
am no gambler yet if she were a risky bet I swear my luck I'd try
since she's a solace that can't be found even in the Pacific waters.
I long for her like a despondent refugee aches for home
her absence is ****, heaven is her presence, she's my calm and storm
the white canvas upon which I want to paint my love
and redefine the plot of my life story, she could be my wife
the missing piece to the puzzle of my 'turmoiled' heart
and definitely an incision deeper than my first cut.
she's the star I look for when the night swallows the sun
when it gets cold the only flames I want to burn
as nothing compares to the warmth she radiates
I treasure her like a baby loves its mother,
I fear losing her like a little child afraid of the dark
she's faith that gets me through, the reason I survive
for in a world flooded with melancholy she's my Ark
I was dead to the world, she came and made me feel alive
she pulled me out of deep doldrums, from a despair so grave...
she must be the one, my infinite sleepover
a purpose for the rest of my life, maybe I was born to love her.
Oct 2018 · 309
Shards & Words
Ignatius Hosiana Oct 2018
Am broken until am out of shards
and spoken until am out of words
Oct 2018 · 374
Moon At Noon
Ignatius Hosiana Oct 2018
You'll give me the skies but I'll still crave her eyes
enchant me with charms, I'll ache for her in my arms
you'll point me to the right track and I'll still be lost
for I can't be found unless it's in the curvature of her smile...
forever's so long, she makes it a quarter a mile
bless me void of her and I'll be cursed
without her am a living dead , am my worst.
You'll hand me diamonds and I'll still dig her,
as she's the treasure am seeking to find...
am entangled in a maze no spell can unbind.
Forget sunshine, she's my most memorable dawn
for she's a midnight sun, a glowing moon at noon...
I'll travel the world but she'll remain the place I crave to see
the adventure I long to take, an absence that sets me in ecstasy
the hardest wave that ever hit my sails even after I cross every Sea...
Sep 2018 · 274
Grateful
Ignatius Hosiana Sep 2018
Thank you for
the Heartbreak
It's the greatest
gift you ever
gave me.
Sep 2018 · 301
You
Ignatius Hosiana Sep 2018
You
Did something a thousand
poems had failed to do,
you healed me
Jul 2018 · 257
Beyond Eternity
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2018
I always wish we met before your first love
so that I'd have been your deepest incision and your easiest decision
and often hope you learn to love me as much as you loved him
which is half as much as I love you, for I love you to Venus and back...
My affection for you is cosmic, I've seen the universe because I've seen you
you're something of a galactic existence, an extraterrestrial
in a terrestrial world of mice and men, why's and when, nows and then
I'd tripped into the past and you've walked me back to the future...
I'd failed to learn what love really meant, I've finally met my teacher
It's my prayer you be on the final page of my lifestory,
on mother Earth you would be a once upon a time of a happy ending
and even if they say happy endings are stories that aren't finished yet
I think they're a point the twist is beyond the understanding
of the mind behind the canvas and the quill,
beyond the reach of the perilous vivisection of the pen,
am going to love you until that unfathomable point, until half past forever
a quarter a mile beyond eternity, just ahead of happily ever after.
you're the ultimate treasure, this' the hunt that counts, am never saying never...
You're my motivation, you understand what I feel, and that's something
yet it all starts from something and builds to a tale to remember
it all starts from a January and before you know it it's December
it all starts from a spark and makes Ash of what was once an enormous ember...
you're a war I'd fight the universe to win,
a journey of a million miles and ain't about to surrender...
My only regret is I didn't know you when you were younger
so that I would have Loved you longer
in this lifetime, and this bond we share could be stronger...
and my biggest worry's the rest of my life might not be enough
for me to love you in the million ways I believe I can...
My deepest pain is even these words don't really say what I feel...
they're merely a construct my hopeless mind could make
of the turmoil in my heart and soul, for what I feel is more than what my mind can take
Apr 2018 · 408
wHEn
Ignatius Hosiana Apr 2018
it's real and true,
even the ink of
imagination fades
and poems are
beautiful even
without
rhyme...
When
it's true
the stories
are amazing
even if you read
them a thousand
times for when
the allegories
twists and tales
appease the heart
and the soul is at
peace, the mind
never tires of
reciting the
same play.
Apr 2018 · 452
We Forgot
Ignatius Hosiana Apr 2018
We don't care about today
but hope for a better tomorrow
someone told me that kind of hope is
the greatest source of sorrow
for we're locked up behind
glittering window panes
and through that tint we
find freedom in our chains...
unless we're color blind
Yet again am told hope is a good thing
that life's just the way it is
it's a bee, now and then it's going to sting
it's going to shine, rain or freeze...
We pray for a clear sky
albeit the cloudy comes with a blessing of rains
we'd rather say hay while the sun shines,
stuffed than share with
a hungry brother that pines.
We forgot what really matters
with  many broken hearts,
and a million souls in shatters
everything hurts,
the world is busy grieving...
I once read
funerals are not for the dead
but for the living...
We're all faithless
that's what we're believing
can't repent, we're all sinners
so who'll do the forgiving?
Apr 2018 · 733
You
Ignatius Hosiana Apr 2018
You
didn't hurt me
I was already
in pain when
we met...
Let me
just
say you
handed
me back my
bag of hurt
that you had
temporarily
taken... It was
beautiful when
I didn't have it
so thank you
for the
while.
Mar 2018 · 502
Millennium
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
On a brighter note,
the 1000 poems I wrote
to get over you might
change a million
lives someday,
so thank you for
the Heartbreak...
It was probably the
best lecture life's
ever given me...
Mar 2018 · 399
Don't
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
worry so much about life, ultimately... every piece falls in its own place.
It's rough sometimes, it's sad when life doesn't play by your rules
but at such time you gotta remember that
even against rocks, rapids and falls, against violent fountains,
going with the flow is what helped the river find the ocean
where the waters are more Peaceful and calm...
Mar 2018 · 282
Hardest
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
part of loving you
is knowing you'll
never
be
mine.
Mar 2018 · 307
Endless
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
One of the hardest things in his life was explaining why he loved her,
it was like trying to explain the taste of water...
You know it, you feel it, you cherish it, but just can't place the right words...
the depth of his affection for her shallowed the ocean,
it was too deep even for him to understand how he got himself into such an endless abyss,
never the less, he would fall even deeper for her,
if he could do it all over again for she was worth every pain.
Mar 2018 · 623
Quit
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
trying to write it again,
ours is a story without
happy endings...
yet you deserve
a fairytale...
Mar 2018 · 276
Lost
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
Am lost,
you were my campus
and I can't find you
because I don't
know where to go
without a
bearing...
Mar 2018 · 446
Hurricane
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
You're a warm current
and am a cold one
we make a beautiful
hurricane together
but am not getting
****** back into
our disaster.
We were sadly beautiful
but I guess that was then.
Mar 2018 · 253
UglY
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
I've only known the **** side of love
That's why I believe she has a beauty
for every star twinkles black and bright
and all darkness has got some light...
I've only known the hurting bit of passion
someday her pleasure will visit in person...
I've only known desolation,
that's my long road to my soulmate
as I have to bear living with myself
before I can think of anyone doing it...
i've only endured nights
I will find my day...
Mar 2018 · 209
I do
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
I loved you at hello
I'll do at goodbye
Cherished you from the start
I think I'll do even after the end
I've been with you at your high
and will stay through your low
since you was young
and even after you've lost the glow
I will love you
because I do...
Mar 2018 · 496
wHEn
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
I fell in love
&
I loved the fall.
That's how I knew
it was true.
Mar 2018 · 182
Fly
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2018
Fly
You still think about us, I know you do... I trust you do,
but you know, however much it does hurt,
some things are better left at that.
We'll always be miles, worlds and an hour apart...
I once told you that you would outgrow us someday,
it's your right to grow, to find yourself. I loved you,
I love you and love you I always will,
but that is as much as it goes,
you found a love deeper and closer than I could ever get.
You were a bird, I nurtured you to fly, let nothing hold you back.
Not even me, ours were dreams born dead,
I would hate to think we buried them alive.
Am a poet, it's my curse to write about love and not have it,
I even found someone, as understanding as you,
little less beautiful but understanding, she has someone else as well.
So it's my destiny, not to find someone I can call home,
I am a wanderer in this life, a rudderless ship in a shoreless ocean,
I am just that thought you'll have only when you're feeling low,
at midnight when you're alone. Am just a poet,
only words can love me and not let go.
So do not hurt yourself looking back,
it's not where you're headed, go for greatness...
sadness is my home, sobs are my laugh
and lonely is my company, I already made peace with that,
that's why I have to let you fly.
Feb 2018 · 160
Grief
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
Nights were long, days were brief
ding ****, don't jump the cliff
he wasn't strong to bear his grief
he sung a song, find no relief
Feb 2018 · 352
So
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
So
Will I have you ripe tomorrow,
Or Raw?
will the sweetness be of fruit,
Root?
Found this echoverse in my drafts
Feb 2018 · 223
Teary Eyes
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
I want to walk away, to go yonder the end of the road
at the horizon whence the Sun sleeps, and hands the night his sword
for she's a heaven I can't have and that's putting me through ****
so I want to go beyond the reach of her spell
to go further than my teary eyes can see
I want to board a boat and sail across the Sea
where my phone will cease to buzz, far away to drink from safer bars
so I won't have to think about what her absence does
to me, I want to follow the river to wherever she'll flow
for someday he'll walk her down the isle, I can't take the blow
so since this passion will never go and since this is something I can't out grow
albeit I knew right from the start that she ain't my boat to row
I would rather be broken by the hard fall on grounds of goodbye
instead of waiting for a harder fall on melancholy to make me cry.
I want to go where none has seen or heard of her ambiance
so that for the rest of my life I can speak and write of her radiance
and be the lad who loved enough to let go
as sometimes love is letting them stay where they prefer
even when you feel you have more to offer.
That's why I want to go...
Feb 2018 · 204
Sadness
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
is always beautiful,
that's the greatest lesson
I've picked from
life and poetry.
Feb 2018 · 254
Unicorn
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
You're a dance I'll never have
yet a chance I deserve
an obsession so grave
with a passion I crave
a ruby burn in my mind
you're one of a kind
a purple lawn in my fantasy
you're dawn at the Sea
a sunny day in a month
you're hay to the Ant
a scented rose with a thorn
an ancien ruin with a cone
a graceful horse with a horn
You're June with the corn...
Feb 2018 · 288
As Soon As Forever
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
You had your questions
I had mine,
you doubted my intentions
and I went on like it was just fine,
even when these autorotations
lifted you to cloud nine
Past my million mentions
of you'll always be mine, albeit I ain't thine

I might never be fine, like you might never be mine
for I haven't even began my journey to getting over you
but maybe, maybe I will do,
maybe I will get over you as soon as forever's through
much as there was an always and forever
in each of my I love you...


Past the memories of us talking and laughing away the night
thinking that someday love me you might
sending each other the best things of us
you me your pictures and I you my pieces
hoping they'd bring you down to Earth
and just once you'd have me taste your kisses
yet we slid right back in, same tune, different violin
with you all out of the idea of me and you, yet with me all in


so I might never be fine, like you might never be mine
I haven't even began my journey to getting over you
but maybe, maybe I will do,
maybe I will get over you as soon as forever's through
albeit there was an always and forever
in each of my I love you


A thousand poems couldn't get me past the one before you
Maybe if I write three books and a million, these feelings will die
and then I could go flip to a new page at eternity when am through
but who wants to **** the realest of things he's ever known and why?
who wants to veer off the only road that ever made sense
who wants to peel out an embrace after his best dance
you're a song I wasn't going to get tired of playing
a scent that would choke and I wouldn't quit spraying
you're a piece that would rhyme on through time
that's why am a prisoner, falling for you is my crime

I might never be fine, like you might never be mine
haven't gone a mile on the journey to getting over you
maybe, maybe I will do,
maybe I will get over you as soon as forever's through
but there was an always and forever
in each of my I love you.


Yes, an always and forever
in each of my I love you,
without a single echo
of
**"I love you too"
Feb 2018 · 372
StormS
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2018
Love's a cloud,
at some point it's
going to rain
but then after
the rain comes
a shine.*
sometimes when
it hurts, you need
to remember that
at some point it's
gonna be okay.
Jan 2018 · 361
My Apologies
Ignatius Hosiana Jan 2018
You'd give up and I'd be sorry you quit
scotch and I'd apologize for the heat
Dump me, I'd be deeply sorry for falling
leave and I'd be sorry for the desolation
trapped in the rain I'd apologize for the storm
cut me and I'd be remorseful for bleeding
shoot me, I'd go on my knees for dying
You'd set me on fire and I'd apologize for burning,
throw me in the ocean, I'd be sorry for drowning...
That's how deep these emotions run,
you're closer than anyone's ever been to my heart
I swear, you'd leave and I'd apologize that we're apart
I'd apologize for a million things, my fault or not,
even for loving you, even if you've never felt the same...
Jan 2018 · 157
THRU
Ignatius Hosiana Jan 2018
Because of all the pain
you put me through,
Am never going to love again
and if I do it won't be true...

Because of the sad goodbye
won't entertain another hello
for I found myself a bitter lie
in a truth so sweet and mellow

*because of all forgotten time
am thinking loving is a crime
a green snake lying in the thyme
I'd rather piece another rhyme
Jan 2018 · 525
You
Ignatius Hosiana Jan 2018
You
Loved
the
loss,
I
lost
the
love.
You*
moved
on,
Am
still
on
the
move.
Dec 2017 · 243
What Took you So Long?
Ignatius Hosiana Dec 2017
I wanted to travel the world with you  the first time we locked Eyes
to build wings and fly the skies even if I had to cut all other ties..
I didn't have to practice holding your hand
and stroking it, you were my magic wand
Your presence lingered here even in your absence
like a drug, you were something that changed my life
you were a revolution that altered my view of things, my renaissance
for from the moment we met I didn't just see a complete lady, I saw my wife...
I shut my eyes ever since and all I saw was you in my future, in my arms
it was the one thing in every storm I faced that calms
in the torment of every today you were my tomorrow,
you were the bridge of happiness that got me past oceans of sorrow
up till now you still are my greatest glory, my favorite story
for I believed you were the adventure I'd never quit writing
and just so you know, losing you was my biggest worry
you were my peace in turmoil, a war I won without fighting
the symphonic euphonium that deafened me to all caution
you were my Brandy, a concrete alcoholic concoction
the touch of your lips knocked me out with one sip of your kiss
washed away all my melancholy, stitched my wounds and bandaged them with bliss
You're a dream I cherished, one I dreaded waking from
a stranger, in a very long time who felt like home...
From the on set I knew, you were a the one
the one I'd been dying to meet, the one who totally got my foolish wit
the one who swept me off my feet, the one who sat my soul on the edge of the seat
and all I asked myself was, what took you so long?
as my only regret was I didn't meet you early enough
for with you a mellinium would still be inadequate,
I'd ask God for more time with you at half past forever
if that was possible, I'd live a thousand lives
with you and that wouldn't be enough, you're heaven
say heaven would be **** without you, you're an Angel among men.
You're a crown, you make me feel like a king
I needn't a throne or kingdom, you're my everything.
I thank God everyday for you
I love you, I always will.
Nov 2017 · 308
Live A Lie
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2017
You know the truth, it's painful you'd rather lie
You got the life it hurts you think you'd rather die
You've got a beautiful laugh, inside a cry
You're breathless or so it seems at every sigh
You can not fight the thoughts
the talk was cheap, the **** you bought
because you believed you'd found all you sought
it's impossible to row alone, your life's a boat
No, you can no longer live like this
betrayed by the very person you miss
and everything, the embrace, holding hands, the kiss
it breaks your heart thinking about, the bliss

You know the truth, you chose to live a lie.*
cause the pain will never die.
Nov 2017 · 399
When You Left
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2017
When you left, it was like my favorite library went down in monstrous flames
like my affiliate soccer club losing by a
very close margin the decisive games
it was like a great storm pouring on your first visit to the beach
yet you saved a lifetime, and journeyed a 1000 miles to get there
and you doubt you'll ever make it to the Lake side again
It was like taking a bullet close to the heart that didn't **** you instantly
it choked you, but left you to gasp for breath and deal with the pain
knowing you'll eventually succumb to the throb and the ooze
like that split second after you kick the bucket that you dread the noose
but there's no turning back, no way to survive even with a million clues
It was like being caught in the open by an unanticipated hurricane
fully aware you're either going by being blown by a giant cyclone
or freeze to a human marble before the force is come
It was like a catchy novel ending with a melancholic twist
you wish you never started reading in the first place
like, at the eleventh hour, your Dobby burning the wedding dress
leaving you an angry bride and a whole other mess
that would live after you like your shadow at dawn for the rest of your life
It was like rewatching your favorite childhood film
and realizing it wasn't as good as you always thought
and wondering why you went turning over the rocks of the past
like finding out your best friend is boyfriend to your secret crush
It was like losing a close person to a plane crush or an inferno
you receive bits and pieces, you bury the ashes
yet the hopes survive, yet nothing haunts like when such hopes are alive
you live after the belief that someday they'll fly out
oblivion like a phoenix and hug you tight if only for just one more time
it was like finding a free verse that beats all rhyme
in a collection so tattered that most of it can't be read
so you're left dying of curiosity and dread
Losing you was like saying goodbye to your friends at graduation
conscious it could be the end to a great season of your existence
but trying so hard to resist asking the obvious question
or one that wouldn't hatch answers but unfortunate tension
it was worse, it was agreeing to meet after a year and being the only one that showed up at the rendezvous
it was believing the folk stories and growing up to the realization that none of it was true
It made my childhood roses and chocolate
but what do I have now that Santa won't bring an avalanche of
breathtaking kisses to my lips on Christmas Eve?
Losing you changed me, if anything, for worse
it was like watching my soul burn when you left
like a wild fire that I doubt even time knows when it will stop
that's how big a difference you made in my life
and I don't care whether you believe me or not
after all I don't even believe I let you in that deep.
I was ****** to open all the doors and windows
and think only the rays of good intentions would sip in.
You were my everything and guess what?
when you left, there was nothing left!
Not even me...
Nov 2017 · 641
SEESAW
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2017
You took my breath away perfecting your sigh
I lost my wings teaching you how to fly
you know, it cost me my smile to diminish your cry...
I lost my way seeking to find you a path
and my shine to enhance your glow...
I lost reason struggling to build your thought
plus my vision attempting to make you see
that I was manacled just to set you free.
to see you rise I fell, you deserved a fairytale
I gave up my heaven to put you out your ****.
I lost my grip keeping you in touch, my faith inspiring you to church
healed your wound I got a scratch, amputated trying to be your crutch
I hated showing you how to truly love
and to keep you on the straight I had to swerve
for ours was a seesaw, I lifted you high whilst dropping low,
I lost all I had to provide the plenty you sought
because I valued you so much I forgot my worth
Nov 2017 · 310
Dying and Living
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2017
Dying is silence
Living is a voice
Dying is dust
Living is a muck
Dying is the end
Living the betwixt
Dying is solace
living is a battle
Dying is a ship
Living is her shuttle
Dying is the object
Living is a shadow
Dying is a destination
Living is the journey
Dying is a night
Living is the moon
Dying is the dusk
Living her mellow
Dying is the answer
Living a question we never ask
Dying is everything
That makes living feel like nothing
as Dying is a must
Living is a choice
Nov 2017 · 196
...
Ignatius Hosiana Nov 2017
...
I never told you so
*So I never told you
Oct 2017 · 379
I am who I am
Ignatius Hosiana Oct 2017
Am the sky above and the yonder in space,
a vast universe that won't fit in your case
Am a glowing moon upon your night
you see your shadow beneath my light
Am the Ocean that's deep and vast
I can't be kept away in your pocket
yet again am that tiny seed when buried am cast
to suffocate into blooming Flora that makes life worth it
Am that lonely road you're bound to follow
and find yourself, you're lost, am your campus
am company when you're riding solo
a poignant piece of poetry lying upon a tattered canvas
Am a pregnant cloud hovering the endless skies,
but I'll soon come pouring in soothing patters of rain
cause I know that underneath your gentle sighs
there's a great deal of untold pain...
in your darkest hour, am the last speck of light,
the deem power of faith left in your torch
Am the sun of expectations when you need a ray of hope in sight
and the shed when in need of an escape from scotch
am the flapping sail in perilous currents above  the boat
and no matter the strength of waves I'll keep you afloat...
in the hurricane of your existence, I am the calm
for I am who I am
am air, invisible like nowhere yet anywhere and everywhere
that even when you're deafened by despair
am the wind you hear silently whispering, "I ****** care"!

**I am that and this,
I am love and peace
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