We’re told to memorize
And we do
Defined details haunting our minds
For eternal periods of time
Did you memorize me?
All of me
These peculiar invisible wounds
Curves and straight edges
The beauty that lies in the distance
Did you?
We’ll rinse and repeat until defeat
Until we figure out how to memorize
How to remember
Once it’s there, it keeps coming back
We eventually forget
But then, for seemingly long, brief moments
We remember
Like some twisted déjà vu
Was I that to you?

My dreams won’t burn in vain
Not this time, my darling
Because I have you
These infectious nightmares will cease
And you will not
From the base of my soul
To the scarred fabric of my heart
I want you
These profound emotions and desires
This surging powerful drive
Slowly leading to my own impending insanity
Old inferior emotions and self-inflicted torture
Rapidly torn down by the new
Overwhelmed with a sudden selflessness
Yet, at the same time, I’m just as selfish
Melodies course through my veins
Electricity pulses in my fingertips
As I greedily touch you in all the right places
Relentless acts of pleasure
Movement and motion will speak tonight
For there will never be enough words
Because you are mine
Where I am yours

Maybe it’s the simple idea of being trapped in my own mind
Of being encased in this ****** square box
Where all my voice does it echo
Echo... Echo…
Bouncing off these metallic confining barriers
And there’s not a single thing anyone can do
Unless you’re able to scale walls
While defying any logic that comes in to play
Maybe that’s possible
… Only maybe.

It began as disbelief
Slowly contaminating the air around me
Choking me from the inside
Losing sight of you as I see behind blind eyes
Coming to my senses, trying to stand
But it’s all so futile
Falling back down
Dropping to the cold, hard ground
Piece by piece
Shock numbs everything within
As it attacks from multiple directions
Leaving no room for mercy
Muted screams pour from my soul
While my heart bleeds words I can no longer say
Pushed down to my knees by your cruel hand
Kicking endlessly when I’m already down
Bruises bloom across my being
Attempting to build walls that never come
It’s too late now
You have me cornered
Back against the world I used to know
Broken terror rips through my body in waves
A burning sensation lingers in these lungs
Making it impossible to breathe
If I leave now, maybe he’ll stop… Please…
These voices grow louder by the second
It hurts more than I could have possibly imagined
The severing of these bonds we created
Has never felt so real

If this is your definition of a nightmare, then please don’t wake up
If you were to offer a trade, I would generously decline
I’ll keep the cryptic terrors encased in my mind
And if you declare that life isn’t fair
What isn’t fair is being trapped inside my own cage
Leave me to deal with these chaotic demons
The ones I suppress for your sake
I wouldn’t dare release them
For the fear of losing you is all too great

It may be the simplistic idea of remembering something you wish to forever forget
Or realizing the well known unimaginable as a futuristic reality
Perhaps the sad final solution to your seemingly endless suffering
Could it be the fact that what once was there is everything less than dust?
I am unable to fathom what it truly feels like
Due to registering only my own emotions and mental infatuations
So, let me describe a stilled serene place in time
Where through overwhelming tension and all that disregards any sparks of hope and happiness
​A smile is enough to hold a thousand defined words
Words that tell stories of anything that could and could not be
The deranged evil and the vicarious good
Which smile you wear is that of your choosing

Is it possible that if I shout any louder
You will finally hear me?
I can’t hear myself
There’s an overcoming white noise
A polished blade slicing through tension
I’m staggering in your direction
An outstretched hand, waiting
Longing for your comfort
Pleading for some saving
It’s a choking anxiety
Closing in around me
A paralyzing infection moving in
Cornered, beaten, and confused
Begging and pleading, always repeating
Please…
What will it take to finally be seen
I don’t know how much louder I can scream
Losing all confidence in strength
Fighting to stay conscious
Behind this defying smile
And invisible scars

We’re an existence that’s going to die one day
So, take my hand for we’re not here to stay
I’ll take you to a place untold
Watching the endless mysteries unfold
Always know you are never alone
Through the chills that seep down right to the bone
We’ll live without these rules and regulations
Ignoring everyone’s expectations
Wherever you are, I’ll be there too
Because there’s nothing else I’d rather do

My mind is a place that is my own
Somewhere to hide from this cruel world
To be alone with myself in a space so small
Where no one can hear me at all
Any innocent person might think they understand
Society believes they know what happens
But it’s only a sly illusion
Used to cover questionable thoughts
My mind is a place that I call mine
Not his
Nor hers
Simply mine
My incoherent observations would make no sense
So, I’ll just save the world some time
Unless you’re willing to listen
To every disturbing idea that rises
Maybe you can see that this person is actually me
And I’m hoping you’ll stick around no matter how crazy I may sound
Because my mind is a place that is my own

Lurking dragons roaring in the background
And to everyone there is no sound
Heroic collisions of swords made of steel
But to others, nothing you say is real
So, tell me what’s in your imagination
Because I have this strong temptation
To take a look for myself

What will I find
Inside your creative mind
Will there be battles raging on
At the earliest traces of dawn
Is there a different you
Doing things you wouldn’t do
Like facing the swirling tempest of fear

What do you see
I’m listening, waiting for you to tell me
Will there be people cheering for their hero
Who victoriously delivered the final blow
Or is there a calm and stilled silence
Replacing all the profound violence
Where your favorite place is under a tree

Your mind is a library of stories and fascination
Please, don’t fear your imagination

Don’t come back for me
If I’m such a burden, you see
Leave me here in the dust
Where all my bones will rust
Carry on with everything you do
Just forget that I existed, too

Please, don’t come back for me
If there’s other places you’d rather be
Leave me back here to bleed
Clearly I’m not what you need
Follow your beautiful dreams
Ignoring my hopeless empty screams

Don’t come back for me
If there’s other sights you want to see
Leave me where everything is colorless
Maybe it’ll clean up this giant mess
Do everything you can to run far from here
And maybe I’ll suddenly disappear

Please, don’t come back for me
If, to this door, there’s another key
Leave me with nothing at all
So I’m not the reason you fall
Time is cruel and unforgiving
Don’t waste it thinking I was ever living

Don’t come back for me.

Can we just pretend?
Nothing’s broken.
Just sit back down and tell me it’s all-right,
Forget everything that lead to this.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
Everything is okay
And you’re still breathing,
Still fighting to hold on.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
Like everything’s the same
That there’s no one left to blame.
You’re still right here next to me,
Untouched and unphased
By those long and painful days.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
No one can take away
All the times you looked at me this way.
You’re full and alive,
With a smiled plastered across your face.
That nothing’s broken.

Can we just pretend?
It’s all been just a twisted lie,
That you’ll stay here by my side.
Through the thunderous rage
Burning the night sky,
A promising glint in your eye.
That nothing’s broken.


Can we just pretend?
You never left me behind,
Down on my knees
Always asking how and why.
And forget what it means to actually die.
That nothing’s broken.


Can we just pretend?
My heart isn't aching,
While the world around me is shaking.
That I will see you again
Even when it feels like the end.
That I’m not breaking.

Can we just pretend?
Everything is silent
Even when I’m screaming your name where
Ferocity is blurred with rage,
Rattling the bars of this god-forsaken cage.
That I’m not breaking.

Can we just pretend?
That I’m not broken.

It’s the kind of frustration and rage
That causes you to bend the metallic bars of your ****** cage.
Fists clenched by the side
Not knowing the reason why you lied.
The tiniest glint of stainless steel
Makes me wish this wasn't real.
A sudden burst to release suspension
Which you believe to be a futile cry for attention.
Screaming reverberations of pure terror
Induced by one simplistic human error.
Constricting vines toying with reality
Struggling to hold close that last bit of sanity.
Toxic thoughts of hallucination
Every time you surpassed my limitation.
Unstable visions of the past
Filled with memories that will forever last.
Rivers of warmth wash over me
As I’m free-falling into what will never be.
Aching from the inside and out
Knowing that you’ll never understand what this is about.