I don't want to regret
I no longer want to forget
So I shall accept
That I'd want you to collect
These feelings that I want you to protect

I hope this third time around
No harm would be bound
No intruders shall be found
No obstacles we can't pound*

I want you to be mine
And me to be yours
So forever shall be ours

For 15 years of your existence
I have never known the whole you
yet I know some of your blues
I know you miss Gabby's presence
and I do too
but I want to make you happy
so tell me how to do so
cause I am running out of things to show
and you kept on giving me an unamused face
Maybe you have a special place
and that is where you find your inner grace
therefore I must scour this whole place
just to take you there

Allow me to be your crying shoulder
when you need help in carrying a boulder
I don't want to see you fall apart
cause it is precious, your heart

You and I*
was dated back long ago
But I still cant help but think    

That what you gave me
Were one of my best memories  
  
You gained a place in my heart
And you're already a part
                                                
As our eyes meet again
For the first time    
My heart leaps out of my chest

Thoughts of you rushes in
It makes me happy as I have been

Your looks can never narrate who you are

Your actions speak louder than words

But words express what the mouth cannot pronounce

They usually told me to grow up,
to stop running in the streets,
stop giving out childish antics,
quit watching cartoons
and start acting responsible,
start being like a lady,
to open my eyes and take interest
in what adults or teens like to read.

Maybe I still don't want to let go of my childish self
cause it has been a long time since I've enjoyed myself.
I like fantasies that have a different twist, children who are out of the ordinary, stories that come from another land.
They never cease to excite me and make me think that this thing called reality is just a part of a dream, that my real world exists somewhere in another realm or in another portal where in even though you are already having a nightmare it still seems like a dream.
They might've long grown up but I don't think I will any time soon.

This kid inside me is wild and still wants me to imagine wide as if there ain't no boundaries.

*I believe that the only way out of reality is through a fantasy.

Don't try to ask me why
   just think of it as my final goodbye

It means you are no longer needed
    you did your part
    and I think you did great

I hereby declare
That you shall not have a fare
Towards this land of beauty and fair
For you have put me in despair
Never have I been so clear
To put you out of here

Ako'y may problemang pag-ibig
Puso nya'y di ko maantig-antig
ano ba ang magpapatibok
Sa puso **** di ko matarok tarok
Nais kong isigaw ang aking himig
At ipadama lahat ng aking ibig
Tanging ang aking bibig
Ang makapagsasalaysay
Ng mga isinulat ko sa sanaysay
Na naglalarawan sa iyo
Pagkat ikaw ang pinaka maginoo

I only wanted to reach out
but how am I suppose to melt those metallic
walls of yours when you even put up
thousands of locks on it?
If there is anyone who understands you
most, it is me but you can't see.
The fact that I am very different from before
than now makes you think that I can never
understand you when the truth is that you
were those who changed me.
I want you to see your own reflection in me.
I want to bring out the best in you.

But I guess I have tried and I failed.
I don't know what to do for you anymore for I
have done my job and failed shamelessly...

I am sorry for even trying...
It was indeed a big mistake...

You can never really persuade others to believe
when too much lies are already circling around them, can't you?

This may seem kinda weird
But when I arrived
It felt like I've been there
As if I have met you there
Like, I have felt this before
I have encountered this before
I don't know why
I don't know when
I don't know how
But one thing's for sure

*It was very nostalgic

Dearest Mother like no other
You always make me wonder
I don't know where I'd be without thee
Cause obviously without you, there'd be no me
Despite our different tastes and views
You always know what to choose
Irresponsible, stubborn or childish as I may seem
At the end of the day, a smile you'd beam
Melting away all my mistakes
Telling me it's part of what it takes
I know you're struggling a lot
Yet I'm too weak (maybe even too stupid) to give it a shot
To try to help you out
Sometimes I'd like to shout
To the wind, hoping it'll answer
All I can do is include you in my prayers
A simple act of gratitude wont suffice
For everything you've sacrificed
Someday I'll repay all your efforts
But for now I can be the one you can go to for comfort
Thank you for your unconditional love
You're the closest to an angel that we have

I was lost within the wonders of the world
But I looked above and the greatest story was told
Your light that guided my lost soul
into the depths of the galaxy
where no one has ever gotten a hold of
I wonder when we'll meet by the black hole
where time stops
and everything comes to a halt
just to bear witness the infinite

In you, I trust
but leave you, I must
this is all just too much
you left me with my heart to clutch
My insides tumble
your name, I mumble
You left me like a wreck
and got me like what the heck?
Expectations, *expectations, expectations
You were supposed to be my inspiration
but all you ever was my expectation
Now leave you, I must
In you, I no longer trust
You broke it with your own hands
for you only show up with demands
I was never a friend to you
because you're only here when YOU feel blue
You kept trying to convince me that it's true
that you actually care
but here I am saying "It's not fair."
because I can't say no to that look on your face
You always change the pace
I guess it's time
I no longer believe that this will ever sublime

Leave you, I must
*In you, I no longer trust

Apollo, Apollo
The God of poetry
I'd also like to learn archery
And a song or two
On the lyre from you

I'm sorry if you're currently in pain
My trust you can't even gain

I don't know if you really want me
As a friend or how you'd want to see

But all I can say is
Your love, care, understanding and friendship
I cant feel it
Although they sometimes appear from you
Most of the time I can't

All I could sense was your selfishness
Your huge ego seeping through your veins
The lack of thankfulness in your voice
Appreciation to what I've given and done for you wasn't always there

And now
NOW THAT I'VE FINALLY FOUND
THOSE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARES, THANKS, APPRECIATES AND NEVER LEAVES ME BEHIND
You come back crawling to me like a helpless child...

I gave you a chance to open up to me
To tell me all your pain and sorrows
Yet you never did
Now you're telling me that I left you?
What I did was because of YOU.
I kind of felt like I was a tool...
As if you're just using me
I never felt like you're happy to have me as a friend
So I left

Searched and scoured the mountain tops and plains to seek for people who'd understand and take care of me
I don't know if i'd still give you a chance
But all I know is your time is up

With you as my inspiration
nothing's unreachable.
With you as my guide
nothing's too far away.

**But with you by my side
our destination
is at the most beautiful
location.

It was fascinating
Very helpful and enchanting

Yet all else is limited
Or should I say limitless

For they are capable of things we aren't
A lot says it was for the better

As if it was the best
Simpleton, if I were to label all those who proclaims

But they have not opened their eyes
Or maybe something was covering it

Evil was seeping and overtaking
Those weren't being used for JUSTICE

They were far from what we call Human
Just because we DESIRE for the eternal
Doesn't mean we need to make careless decisions
Don't be blinded by those shiny golden bricks we call GOLD or those green papers with faces of deceased people

We must think thoroughly
For this creation might go to EXTINCTION
Let's peel off our masks
All of those covering the windows of our soul

These aren't completely helping
They're making the case worse
DESTRUCTIVE if I may say so

It was only a pretend
Never have I thought that you'd mend
this broken heart of mine
that has never felt fine
for a very long time

For them,
She was their happiness
She was the sunshine
Smiling through and through
Happily skipping each day
Laughing with glee
Her wide grins
Always intact

But on the other side of that grin
Is a lost little child
Who can't even see the sun
Even its rays she cannot reach
Her skin so frail
Her bones so weak
She can't walk towards the door
The door of happiness


She felt so **ALONE

Give me some coffee
Talk to me at Three
Lend me a pen and a paper
Let me write all about it in a letter
It's something to make me feel better
Make my heart explode
Make my thoughts wander wondrously
Like i'm losing myself in a fantasy
I'll lose it all and explode my thoughts like ink on a paper
writing all about my wildest dreams and imaginative travels,
all my irrational thoughts, my greatest memories, the habits of mine, the things that remind me of you and the stars that I've seen each night too
Just let me write about all of it including you

I always wondered how amazing it was that I could tell how you feel...
But I knew you can never say the same
I always wondered how you were
But I knew you wont ask the same...
I always knew you needed me
But I also knew you never knew...
You're like an open book who's trying hard to be encrypted yet i'm an experienced cryptographer
With just one look through your eyes, I could already tell but you refuse to spill the beans

I knew it was a mistake...
I knew you won't be there if I needed a shoulder...
I knew it...

Yet I thought you'd let go...
Why are you making things hard for me?
I was giving you a trustworthy ally but you never showed you can be one as well
Now im leaving for hell
Then you'll ring the bell
Asking me to come back
It's gonna be hard to go back
I hope you actually realized what you lack
And drop your cowardly act

I just hope i'm not talking to thin air
This is so hard to bear...

*If only you could open your eyes and see the truth that lies within

I feel sorry* for those people worried more about their grades than their lives

I feel sorry for those people who worry more about the answers rather than the beauty of those unanswered questions of life

I feel sorry for those people who gives more self worth than appreciating the beauty of caring for welfare of others

I feel sorry for those people who cant enjoy life cause they are too worried about the future and are stressing about their past rather than living today

I feel sorry* for those who cant control themselves and give in to anger, pain, guilt and sadness than feel free by forgiving, being happy and be kind

Yes, I feel sorry for myself sometimes

There's this thick border that separates you from them
but I can never explain what it is
all I can say is that I feel it inside of my heart that
you stand out from the rest
and for me you are the best!

They said, stars shine brighter when they're further away from you.
I guess that's the most logical reason to what we are now.
I'm just a star gazer who can never gaze upon your bright lit up face from such a short distance.

Just promise me
You'll never forget
The stitches I've sewn over you bare chest
Because I was the only one who knew
I was the only one who saw
That void you were hiding underneath your white shirt
All they ever saw was the false reflection upon your face
All I ever saw in you was your shattered entirety whom dreams to float along the clouds
And so there I was
Trying to mend your broken wings
But I never thought I'd get broken in the process
Why can't I say no to that look on your face?
I just stayed

I was at my worst
It felt like I wanted to burst
But let me tell you first
How he quenched my thirst

It was something I couldn't bear
I felt fear
Before the forest became clear

There I saw you
Thinking that you have seen me too

In the deep forest you sheltered
The way you live was altered

From then on, you lead the way
I saw beautiful trees sway
Deeper we go as we play
Since that day
Every time we part, I only wish to stay

Each summer i'd come back
To the same place I lost track

Each summer you'd wait for me
We'd be as happy as we can be

The mask covering up your face
I ponder it's purpose on that place

Days went by
Sometimes a kite would fly
Or we'll just go fishing nearby

Yet one summer night stood out
This hasn't just made me pout

We went to a festival
Also kinda like a carnival
Fireworks and all

It was supposed to be my happiest
But it also became my saddest

I wasn't ready to hear your final goodbye
Didn't think i'd cry
It seems like it was just yesterday
     when I heard your first "Hi"

It was tragic indeed
For you made my heart and soul bleed
It may sound like greed
But I never wanted you to leave

I have always been afraid to tell, to show, to feel and to express

I can only communicate through unspoken words, written calligraphy, and endless encryption that no one would ever understand

But I hope that one day,
SOMEONE...
would happen to notice the pain, hurt, suffering and torture that I've been keeping at bay....

It's very unlikely
Could be deadly

How those paper with faces of the dead
Could manipulate or fill us with dread

I was silently typing
till I noticed that I was already smiling
Maybe you must have pressed your E
for you have charmed me

It hurts my brain
Oh what a pain!
Soon I might need a crane
my back hurts like hell!
If only I could hide inside a shell
and block everything for a little while
cause everything's in a huge pile

As the school year
draws near,
I could already smell my greatest fears.
I could already taste those upcoming
salty tears.

I stare at the ceiling
A heavy sigh escapes
Exhausted
Languish
Tired
Maybe i'll take a rest
And remove my capes
I already did my best
I'll let some of my thoughts escape
and let them cool for a while
They're all already in a pile

Once I come back
I hope I can fill what you lack
but maybe it's all just about acceptance
and not about changing appearance

I also need to clear my mind
my eyes have always been blind
when it comes to my own mistakes
because I don't have what it takes
to be somebody they want me to be
So till then, we'll see

Goodbye for now
Good luck, somehow

You* are the center of my solar system
You brighten up my whole galaxy
You* shine the brightest among the stars

Oh darling why wont you study *astronomy with me

So you'd know how much my heart aches for you

I wonder for how long are you going to dwell on that heart ache
I guess you need to accept things the way they are
you need to make amends with the past to move on in life
You think I'm blinded by your loud laughter and happy-go-lucky self
I've seen different faces
I've met different people
I've observed more than enough
I'm not that numb not to even see your very thin barrier
Everybody else is just isn't looking closely
that's why you think that you got us fooled

I've given up the desire to make you
mine
I'll try to just be
fine
It's time for me to play the cupid
I've had enough looking so stupid

I guess it'll be alright
If it means I'll see you smile so bright

I guess knowing what your problem is isn't  important
but what matters most is that I gave you a spark of hope
and at some point
made you smile brighter than the rays
of a sunlight