Nothing is happening...
I may have lost my ability
to form words.
Still nothing is happening.

My pen is empty.
My fingers tied in knots.
My tongue has wrung dry.

When will it all being anew...
I ask.
When nothing is happening,
with this heavy block crushing my hands
of any progress I might have brought into the light.

All because nothing is happening,
when you have The Writers Block.

I condemn you. I condemn you.
One; for the pain you brought.
And the second for the continual shame.

**** you. **** you.
One; for my severed heart on the ground.
And the second for the boot stomped across it.

I hate you. I hate you.
One; for my dignity.
And the second for my pride.

I shall forgive you. I shall forgive you.**
One; for the pity I feel for you,
And the second for my own self-worth.

Immune to the depravity.
Enslaved to the creativity.
A weaken soul, to the artist brush.
A becon of burning coals, in the artisans stove.

Two sides of the same coin.

We are writers.
We are painters.
We are smelters.
We are dancers.
We are singers.

We are art.

We are, us.

When you touched me,
I died a thousand tiny deaths.
Hand up my dress,
I sung for you.
Lips on my flesh,
I danced under you.

I cried your name to the heavens.
My sins, to the skies.
Lain sprawled on my back,
as my body shook ever higher...
Ever tighter.

Stroke the tender, to light the pyre.
Touch the torch, to ignite the fire.
Burning. Burning. Burning.

Let us burn.
Burn in the sweetest fire
known to man.

The pleasures,
The depravity,
The lechery,
The insanity.

An original sin;
but a sin we will
all
eventually
revel
in.

"I love you." Oh God, just **** me now. She thought as the unfathomable words occured from her mouth.
It was neither the time, nor the place to speak such phrases but the words kept tumbling out. Rocks sliding down the cliff side, the words kept coming.

"I love you, and I know you don't return the endearment..." Oh God, let the ground swallow me whole. Mortification burnt the girls face but her words came still.

"I needed to tell you... My soul is festering on such a rhyme. I can't take it. You had to finally know."

And as the girl stood there, face burning in shame unimaginable. The most peculiar thing occurred. The boy reached out with a sweet, simple smile and replied, "I love you too, you bone-head... Didn't you know?"

And in that moment everything was good, everything was right.

This town is crumbling.
With dust turning into ashes.
A judgmental life built
to the apparent lackluster rhyme.

Trembling lips, forced proximity.
Eyes on fire, the vile toxicity.

Trouble.
A simple motto to live by...
Mockery of shared stupidity.
Continually circling
to the timeless tune
of a love struck fool.

A fool, within the rubble.
A fool of love, scavenging for a heart.
A love-sick-fool, standing with empty arms.

Love, it can't be held together with gum found on the bottom of a shoe.
Nor can it survive with lies told by you.

It all came to halt...

The battle cries;
The swinging swords;
Cleaving halberds;
Even death's opening doors.

It all came to a complete stop.

Enemies from both sides, frozen in time.
All looking towards him.
The man shining brightest with hate and honor.
No, not the hero.
Instead the mighty warrior,
With an ode to a king to claim the sacred lands.

Arrows arching, painting the sky black.
Red rivers running, beneath the bodies of the fallen.
Burning; burning; burning smoke, filling the air.
The smell of death hanging near.

He changed that day.
The day he turned on his rage.

Legend insists to say.
He was the reason they won the war that day.

"No." I beg of you.  For I've already sinned by far too much. Merely looking at you, touching your skin with only my eyes. Your face behind my closed lashes, trying to engrave your memory. Every freckle, every blemish, creases, lines or scars. I've sinned by far. My thoughts of you, circling within my brain, are not of innocent notions but powerful in our intimate devotions.

Please I beg of you... Take me backwards in slow motion. So, I might get to relive the moments. This time without emotion. To rewrite the blight upon our plight into our new separate life's...  

I beg, no more.

Ashes on the water.
  The phoenix rising from the debts.

Fire in the water.
  The phoenix turning into a sylph.

Air rising over the water.
  The freedom after the water stills,
     death becomes her once more.

Till all begins again.

Thick clouds of smoke billow from her mouth.
The taste of cigarettes and whiskey lingering on a pink tongue.
A woman-- With eyes of an angel
but a body of nothing as saintly.  
She beckons through the nebulous crowd.
Lips gleaming red from obvious sins.
Hips swaying ripened to a hypnotic beat.

Will you, (insert name here) go to her?
To indulge in her hidden desires?

A gentlemen of scholars, without a single dollar.

Will you, a man made of valor, rush to her?

Fighting it only makes the urge stronger.
Eternal darkness will never know an end;
the sinful devil in her tiny black mini dress.
She is a demon in nightmare form,
nefariously wrapped in silken weaved candy.

Her call is strong...
Her voice soft.
She beckons you;
   --will you fall?

A white knight, shining in golden armor.
The apple in your eyes.
A step to close.
Asking for far too much.

I asked myself, did I lose a part of myself?
Only receiving an answer full of poisonous snakes.
It makes me ill, thinking of your face.
Won't you take me out of my cage?

Was I a knight, shining in golden armor,
or was I just a step too close?
Did I ask for too much?
My soul for redemption.
Tarnished from your touch.

I'll tell you any thing;
a mouse standing tall in front of a snake.
My armor shining golden.
I'll tell you anything;
about how rare it's actually seeing your face.
The vague reflections of what we had.
--and I know you'll **** me in the end.

But I want to know...
   I want to know...

Am I anything at all?

The party's over.
My makeup left fading, the remembrance of something beautiful.
My black dress is on the floor, replaced by your warm arms.
I shared a bed with you, a surface not made for two.
Snuggled under the same blanket.
A single pillow for our heads.
I felt your warmth through the night.
A strong presence at my back.
Your nose crowning into my hair.
We slept pressed together, our body twining with one another.
I slept with you last night.

The party may be over, but I'm still here with you in a bed not made for two.

Into the darkness I walk.
Hand and hand with the unfathomable flock.
Leaving footsteps as I stalk the docks.
Hands in pockets, filled with rocks.
I begin my journey with locks on my ankles.
Breathing in, working against the clock.
I hear my heart squawking like a trapped hawk.
Inside my head, listening to the knocks.
My lungs fill, balking within my plummet into the darkness.

For once, I fear no rejection.
In the darkness there is no direction.
Only the natural selection.
The perfect connection.

The correction of my death in deepest, blackest of waters.

His** smell. I could never define it properly. You never can, with scents. There are never words to describe them floating in the air after a rainstorm, nor the smell of a freshly cut grass, on a warm summer's day.

His scent was dark and musky: the shadows of an expensive aftershave, cigarettes burning slowly, the smell of home gliding on his skin.

Those, and a thousand other things I could never place my finger upon. It all combined to make up Him. The most comforting smell in the world

His blue eyes are like glacial-lakes, wrapping around his heart till he's chilled to the bone from the cold.
A deadly place where treading is no longer permitted.
His eyes are transparent and distant as the impersonal clouds passing overhead.

Even as I stands before him, reflecting off him.
I am still merely a reflection.

He knows my face, I reason silently.
From the hills of my cheeks, down towards the valley separating my lips.

He should recognize it all.

Instead a blank expression greets me.    
A look of cold, solid insouciance.
I'm immediately angry with myself for wanting to justify his indifference's.

A reflex I've never been able to expel.
The vestigial limb on a skeleton.
A party favor from another time forgotten for the newly discovered toy.

I twist in the fridged winds wrapping around him.
My force giving under the great pressure magnified by his powers.

I never wanted to dance upon his breeze.
This realization makes me burn hotter.
My anger brighter than the northern star.

I welcome it, my amounting rage.
I embraces it with a raging smile.

His glaciers may be cold, immovable at times.
A pretentious notion I might freeze.

For I am the sun swirling in nova's ring and cannot be affected by his black iced personality.

If only I'd known it all,
I would have said 'I love you' at the fall.

When I just was a girl,
with pink ribbons and skinny, bony legs.
I was naïve, without a care in the world.

I'd dream of the someday,
of what the future would become.
I didn't know about the heartache, pain,
the struggles lain out before me.
I knew nothing of the mountains I (w)could climb.
Nor the mud I'd crawl(ed) through.

In my perfect world, I was in a bubble.
In a valley that would drop
my feet out from under me.
I would fall.
Trailing into the arching past.

I would pay every dollar, I couldn't afford,  
Just to go back to being that skinny, bony child, draped in her pink ribbons.
Lost in my naïve world of 'what's to become...'

You've done it, gone in the ways and mistook my apathy for empathy. When have I ever shown a range of emotion like the arch of a rainbow? Instead,  blending into the background in shades of dark, dusty hues. My lackadaisical whims are nothing compared to the logic behinde string theory, or was it a theory based on my lack of range in emotions. I could be wrong but then again, I am an apathetic person.

So what do I know?

There was a moment when I thought you saw me.
Royal blues tracing the arches of my cheeks,
the space between my lips and nose.

I thought you saw me.
A moment in time,
A single moment in time.
I thought you saw me.

Was I wrong?
Probably... most definitely.

When you turned and walked away...
I knew then...

You never saw me at all.

In death.
A grave marked (Y)ours,
Remains, an empty plot.
The story left unfinished.
A poem left to rot.
The fraying ends of a lover's knot,
cannot and will-not meet the end
at the melting ***.
It will remain an empty plot,
wrought with metal and without a  
weak-spot.
For true loves knot,
cannot and will-not
ever come to naught.

There's an ***** missing in my body.
Right between my heart and lungs.
An empty space filled in by bone and blood.

It should be there,
Instead,
it pains me that it's simply not.
A missing section of myself and my fellow humans, lost to evolution.

There's an ***** missing in our body.
An empty space between the heart and lungs.
A vital piece of something important,
That we've all mistakenly forgotten.

There's a piece missing.
The section between heart and lungs.
An ***** that can compute the pangs of lust and lack of oxygen,
when falling in love.

I am not your maid.
I am not your personal cook.
I am not a butler for you to boss about.
I'm not your employee...
Your slave, nor am I anything of the such.
I'm not a *** doll.
Or a pillow to cuddle with.

I am a person made up of water, blood and flesh.

I think.
I feel.
I bleed.
I cry.
I laugh.
And I live.

Please don't confuse these things.

For I am real.
And you shouldn't take me for granted.

The maiden of death wont be unwrought.
Sowing her gardens of the dying.
The wretches, she takes their souls,
placed into the bed of dirt, forevermore.

I'm bending at an impossible angle.
Over backwards,
to appease such erroneous behavior.

An implausible feat,
to gain a few meager feet.  

Eye contact
As our bodies touch.

Once again,
I've become the malleable traitor.
Bending over backwards,
placating your itchy trigger finger.  

That's why I'll take you back.
Oh no, that's the price I must pay.
With nothing else to give.
I'll spread my confession.

I could almost taste the anger,
lingering on my tongue.
A paper thin relationship,
ripped with a flick of the wrist.

I should leave you with nothing,
instead I'm giving you my heart on a silver plate.

Oh no, that's why I'll take you back.
Oh no, that's the price I must pay.
Oh no, it will be alright...
if I give you nothing to shake off...
I'll be alright.

Just have to remember,
your words cut like knifes.
Into my skin, carving lines.
Ownership marks.

MINE

There's several ways to thinking about.
Deriving it according to principles and theories.
Remembering there's tomorrow,
and a day after...

No matter what happens, will you take responsibility?

Oh no, that's why I'll take you back.
Oh no, that's the price I must pay.
Oh no, it will be alright...

Fading into a blue ball of anxiety...

It hurts seeing your eyes fading into black.
The darkest of color blurrin your burning pits of blues.
Red rim lashes,
And tears catching the glare.

It hurts.
But mostly it's saddening.

A gambit man's choices hidden up his sleeve,
constructed by shadows and twisted lies of forgery.

Joy; desire; and anger.
Three tricks saved till the bitter end.
A dangerous hand played at the lion's share.

Two chances.
My only choices.
Love and jealousy,
a metaphor based on your zealously.

Your greed surpasses my sorrow.
By the way of desire,
to hold someone down by using fists of binding love.
A firm grasp beating me down till I'm black; black; blue. Black and blue.

What do you want from me?
What are your demands?
What do you think you're getting out of this?

It's one or the other!
Not two sides of the same coin.

What do you want from me?
What are your demands?
I am bound to find out.

So, just give me a reason,
to keep on believing.
I'm lost and I'm not understanding.

Make me understand.

Explain why your mouth is smeared with lies.
I can see the stains,
Painting your skin amber shades of infidelity.

It's one or the other!
Not two sides of the same coin.

It should've been a paradigm of our souls.
Not a paradox blending into a maze.

Look at how far we've come,
the pain we couldn't escape it.
Blood on our souls, passion licking at our heels.
Tell me how I should never give up,
that dazzling battle of misery and avidity.

Broken, weeping, blossoming and scattering these feelings.

Make me understand.
I just want to understand.

Just give me a reason,
to get my heart beating.
As the world falls apart around us,
all we can do is hold on
and take my hand.

I'd risk everything for you,
reaching into the denial,
risking loosing my mind.

Just reach for my hand.

You might call me crazy,
but I'd stand on the edge,
till there's nothing left,
waiting for the end.

Say another word,
because I doubt I could hear you,
with the silence between us.

Just reach for my hand.

I'd do anything for you,
while asking "why are you such trouble?"
From our first kiss,
your eyes held wide...
(why were they open?)

Just give me a reason,
to get my heart beating.
As the world falls apart around us,
all we can do is hold on
and take my hand.

Just reach for me.

I'm tired of being judged.
It's simple.
You do not know me.
You know nothing of my life,
My struggle.
The pain,
The Joy I feel.
Nothing of my journey through the burning pits of fire.
Nothing of my lips caressing the one's I love.

Until the moment I say, "hello, it's nice to meet you," you know nothing of me.
Not the color of my eyes,
Nor the freckles decorating my skin.
The feelings and emotions flowing within my veins, are not yours to judge or own.

Keep your backward opinions to yourself.
I know who I am;
A strong, passionate woman draped in the color of red.

Look me in the eyes and tell me I am not already dead.
Look within my soul and tell me, all is finally at an end.
Look with your silver eyes, which reflect my very own.
A chaotic wind right before the deadly storm.
The redden horizon, fading into the coldest of blue.
A will of a way, left to burn within the goodwill of our mortal souls.

I see you Dear Brother...
A man shroud in the facade of a devils red clothing.
But men, we are not...
Are we, O brother of mine?
Two hidden lies, masked within a mould of our own demise.
A shell our mother has bestow upon her demon spawns.
Masqueraded truths smeared, until all came crumbling down.

I spoke of my hatred as I slipped from your grasp.
I fell into Hell with a malevolent wrath,
a curse befalling my tongue;

I hate you

Another lie, another sin.
Added to a pile of our transgression,
shadowing us in its path of our own destruction.

Look into my heart and see my love.
A love, which has not commenced into something dark and malcontent.

Look and see another me, (mirrored in your stare.)
Look and believe all is fine.
Look and tell me my blue coated wrath,
is nothing compared to the inferno of a burning Dante
while playing the part of your savior, Virgil.

Two souls, forever intertwined.
Both born under the sacred son,
but destined to fall under baited spikes.

When will there be rest, O Brother?
With my blade in your chest?
Or the indirect request of your blessed reprieve?

Look, before all is too far gone...
nigh is the time,
Look and you might just see...
Me.
but alas just yet,
maybe,
you shall see a piece of yourself as well.

The past hurts like an ocean made up of opaque glass.
And you asked me to exist within the shatter-jagged fragments.
An amphibious creature,
Breathing the pain through shredded gills.
Numbed, bruised and bleeding.
Wounds are what they called them.
Battle torn from a thousand different edges.
Don't you feel them?
  The watery shards wedging into your sides,
  Piercing your lungs of the will to exhale.
I feel it, like rough hands upon my neck;
  Tearing through my flesh.  
  Slipping down my throat.
Till I'm choking on red.

You asked, and I confessed.
My passions, the black and the blue.
Inhaling the wine-water,
I want to save you.
Even with an ocean of glass standing in my way.
I want to save you.
Swimming and swimming, until this agony bled away.
I wanted to save you.
Even though I knew I couldn't.
*I wanted to be the one to save you.

Affection; dark like the inside of love.
Lust; burning low as an ember would.
Beauty; the peeking hills on a summer morning.
Purity; of a frighten dove.  
Wrath; unlike any storm.
Bravery; derived from a cross.
Burdens; carried through life.
Kindness; earned in trust.
Sorrows; paid from flesh.
Intelligence; skills honed from labor lost.
Vindictive; only to those who are found deserving.
Strength; a soul who carries too much.
Impassive; on the surface.
Passionate; to the core.

Attributes, I see them, hidden in you.
Don't you want to see them too?

His hand wrapped so fiercely around my heart,
a five fingers imprint.
To which will never go away.
Even if he wants to go,
the marks would still be there...
Mutating my heart until it ached.
That boy had left an everlasting impression on me,

I will never be the same.

Your love is like a forbidden fruit at the top of a tree;
I could strive for the juicy apple,
reaching out; standing on the tips of my toes,
stretching my body as far as it could go,
only to have my straining fingers graze the bottom of the redden fruit,
for it to slip out of my starving hands.

A love like yours. Girl, it's too good to be true.

I am the embodiment of your sins.

I am your greed, gold in color and always asking for more.

I am your lust, swirling in amber with a slip of my tongue upon your flesh.

I am your wrath, rolling in a fit of redden anger.

I am your sloth, lounged in white, sleeping in between your sheets.

I am your gluttony, always craving more, more, more...

I am your pride, held purple in my state of royalty.

And

I am your envy, green with what never can fully be mine.

I am your sins. Full bodied. Anointed.

I stand before the walls of a glorified failure as it tumbles beneath itself.
The nature of a grave danger, labored with a dire wager.
Plunges and crumple, into a pile of rubble
and to continue forth into a hidden tunnel.

Dirt stain fingers and my inner winner;
The only tools left to dig a way out of our rapidly crumbling puzzle.

You delivered me my unfathomable killer-
A ineradicable form of justice.
My sacramental, misjudgment of
a thrill gone astray.
Leaving me feeding the birds which prey on saints most days.

I stand before the wall as a simple thrall.
Dirt and grime painting my nails.  
I stand in my hellish pit readying to climb.
Ready to rise from the plague surrounding me.
To fill my lunges with air, not lingering with death.

I am ready.
The bringer on the rise.

Was this not what you wanted?

A sliver of hope--
Instead you ended by shivering out on that unsteady-tipping *****.

And for all those somethings, I hadn't  know,
well, I had to let them go.
Now I am, all alone.
But hey, it's not like you would've know--
Too lost to see through your own moats murky waters.

Was it One; Two; or Three;
Captured sirens swimming with you,
within your clouded judgement?

Or is it, One; Two; or Three;
Vile hags trampling with you,
within your undeserving life.

Are you feeling empty yet?
Or are you full of your lies?

It appeared to be a feast--
While in harsh reality, you were plucking at nothing...
Nothing except brittle bones.

Its all a shame,
for it was a dream spun upon spindle--
Lost in a cowards looping *****.

Was this not what you wanted?
                Hmm-
          What a shame...
          What a shame...

The holy pages burnt slowly as it drew you closer into a darken rapture of sorts.
Ashes and soot crumbling from a wayward vessel, down into you, the sacrificial lamb.

You burnt the sacred pages. The fluttering flecks of a religion scattered around your scarred and bleeding feet. The enlightenment you sought was nothing but a false ploy; a world of innocents to crumble and deploy.

Balefully cries linger on the opening of trepidation. With the wingspan of purgatory, wrapped in nefarious black silk.

You!

You, virtuous martyr...

Abbadon's gate, with it's scaly arms, stands open and wide, deceitfully at the ready.

*The question is; Are you willing to pay for your deceitful sins?

I look up to everything you are.
My vision of clarity.
I've loved you for so long.
My song of familiarity.
I believe in you.
Even when you didn't ask me to.
I found my prosperity with you.
A river of hope, flowing endlessly.

Tonight is the night.
When the girl and the sea can atlas become one.
Her flawless legs blending into the wet sand.
A thin waist, which is clouded in white, disappears into the frothy foam.
I watch her go, her blue bodice rolling away on a wave.

She doesn't look back at me standing on the shore. The sun cresting on the hills.
I will always miss her, and her mint green eyes swimming in tears of loneliness.

The lost-girl who vanished into the sea without me.

I died last night.
A stain of red upon the sheets.

I died last night.
Without a sound leaving my lips.

I died last night.
And I'm still lying there.

I died last night.
Without a care.

I died last night,
to live for today
and to grow for
tomorrow.

I died last night,
to live.